Wings of the Walker

by Coralee June

  “I was just thinking that I’d miss all of you.” I was surprised at my honest admission, but Kemp seemed to be someone that would handle my feelings with tenderness.

  “Oh . . . . Oh no, Ashleigh.” He grabbed his hair with his hand then scooted closer to me.

  “I’m not trying to get rid of you.” He pulled my hand into his lap with one hand and lifted my chin with the other.

  “Watching you here, I wondered if you felt like you were missing out on being with your people. We never gave you the opportunity to decide on what you wanted. I wanted you to know you had the choice,” he explained.

  I looked around the apple orchard and felt mildly foolish and immensely relieved. The feeling confused me, but I didn’t dwell on it.

  “Then, for now, I’d still like to stay with you,” I said quietly. “As things . . . er, change . . . maybe we can revisit the conversation? I’m sure once you start building families, the living situation will need to change, anyway.”

  “Oh. Yes. Well, for now, we are more than pleased to have you in our home. I promise.” He released my hand but kept my chin angled towards him. We stared at one another for a few moments. We leaned closer, and the air between us felt like static. It made my skin tingle, and I ached for relief. He looked like he wanted to say something, but before he could get whatever it was out, his Tablet started ringing. Then, my sweet Kemp released a curse and answered the tablet.

  “What?” he asked. He listened to who was on the other line then his face fell considerably. Frantically, he hung up and started throwing the remaining food and utensils in my basket.

  “You have to get back to the main house. Master Stonewell decided to deliver the second wave of Walkers, personally. There are a lot of preparations to be made.” He growled while running back to the Dormitory to prepare for more Walkers. I followed quickly on his heels. It wasn’t until we were again inside and said goodbye that I realized the actual weight of what he said.

  Master Stonewell–Josiah–personally delivered the Walkers. Josiah was here. In the Dormas Providence. That thought caused me to jog back to the main house, my heart fluttering fast enough I could almost fly.

  Chapter 17

  Cyler and Huxley were standing with their arms crossed outside the main house when I arrived. They each wore scowling expressions and seemed equally perplexed by the unexpected visit.

  “What can I do?” I asked breathlessly, still tired from sprinting back to the main house.

  “Ah, babe. Just wait here. They’ll be walking up any moment.” Cyler said.

  I looked at Huxley, and he seemed even more rigid than I’ve ever seen him. His arms were crossed stoically over his chest, and he was frowning.

  After a few moments of waiting in silence, a group of men started walking straight down the road of the town’s center towards us. I immediately noticed that the Governor’s Guard accompanied Josiah. As they continued, I was able to see Jules wearing a modest, Galla-styled, black dress that dragged along the sand.

  A part of me wanted to desperately run to greet Josiah, but seeing him accompanied by Jules, forced me to plant my feet firmly beside Cyler. Just before they arrived, Jacob ran outside and grabbed my hand with a wink. I was unsure what his intentions were, but seeing Jules’ frown made it abundantly clear.

  I looked over at Huxley to see if Jacob’s gesture angered him, but he seemed pleased by her unhappiness.

  “Welcome to our home, Josiah,” Cyler said in a booming voice. He walked forward and patted him on the shoulder harshly, each pat echoing throughout the Providence. Josiah’s eyes remained glued to me and Jacob’s hand in mine. I noticed that Cyler refused to recognize Jules.

  “Please come inside,” he offered with a tight, yet fixed, smile. Jules dropped her heavy suitcase with a thud and started scurrying up the drive, but Huxley then stopped her. “Don’t forget your luggage,” he sneered.

  “Have your Walker bring it up.” She huffed impatiently. She pushed some of her fallen hair over her shoulder and wiped the sweat from her brow. She seemed uncomfortably hot.

  “We have no Walkers here,” Jacob growled. Their hostility towards her made me shiver. Jules was, apparently, not welcome. To my surprise, she stomped over to the suitcase and dragged it up the walkway. She huffed out profanities with each step

  “Don’t get too comfortable,” Cyler called over his shoulder. “You and your fiancé will be staying in one of our new Walker dwellings,” he said with a smile. “We simply don’t have the room here, and I figured you’d appreciate having your space.”

  “What happened to my old bedroom?” she asked incredulously.

  “It now belongs to Ash,” Jacob said. His hand was still firmly placed on mine. He brushed his thumb over my wrist in a reassuring motion that sent flutters down my arm.

  “Is that why she’s wearing my clothes?” she asked. I looked down at my outfit, a long, blue skirt that was tight around my hips and a white, tank top that was loose-fitting and didn’t quite cover my stomach entirely. I suddenly felt self-conscious. “Yes, these were the clothes you left behind. But, you make a good point.” Cyler said while brushing his fingertips through his beard. At this point, we were standing on their front porch and waiting to enter inside. The Governor’s guard took their place surrounding the home. “I think it’s time we buy Ash a wardrobe of her own. Something classier than what you left behind,” Cyler concluded. I tried not to drop my jaw entirely. Unlike his cordial visit before, Jules and Cyler had wholly dropped all pretenses and were openly hostile towards one another.

  We made our way inside, and I immediately left everyone to go to the kitchen and grab refreshments for everyone. I needed a break from the tension and Josiah’s intense stare. I wasn’t sure what he wanted from me, and I needed a moment to consider what all this meant.

  However, before I could gather my emotions and bottle them away, Josiah waltzed through the kitchen entryway and pinned me against the counter. We were alone.

  Before I could distance myself, he grabbed my cheeks and passionately kissed me. When we first kissed, it was an exploratory test. Something both of us needed to expel the sadness and tension between us. This new kiss was one of desperation. He kissed me like a man that was starving. Our teeth clashed, and he gripped my hair, pulling us even closer. I felt him harden against my stomach, and I pulled away.

  “What are you thinking?” I whispered in a clipped tone.

  “Your fiancé is out there, as well as her brothers. Do you have a death wish?” I wiped my mouth with the back of my hand, and his eyes followed my movement.

  “I don’t give a damn. I’ve wanted you for as long as I can remember. And, now that I’ve gotten a taste of what we could have, I’m not giving you up.”

  Once again, he pushed against me, this time with much more force. His hands circled my wrists and clamped down hard. The pressure was a painful mix of pleasure and pressure that caused me to groan. The sound seemed to spur Josiah on, and I was greeted with a broad smile. He looked almost predatory. “I’m going to fix this. All of this.”

  “What are you saying?” I asked incredulously. However, before he could answer, Jacob’s cough reverberated throughout the kitchen. “Hey, sweetheart. Was wondering if you needed help in the kitchen.” He smiled widely at me and walked over to us. Josiah quickly removed his grip on me, but still stood uncomfortably close.

  “I don’t think we’ve met. I’m Jacob.” He thrust his hand out towards, and they shook with much more force than necessary. Jacob then snaked his arm around my waist and pulled me away from Josiah. The moment he was a safe distance from me I gulped air. Did Jacob see us kissing?

  Jacob helped me make everyone tea, and he retrieved some cookies that I made yesterday. While putting everything on a platter, Cyler collected Josiah and ushered him back towards the formal dining room.

  “It's okay, Ash. It’s all going to be okay,” Jacob whispered. I detected a hint of hurt in his tone, but I didn’t have time to dwell on it.
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  We walked back, and I politely handed the refreshments out in the downstairs, formal, dining room that Cyler once told me was only used for business meetings.

  After I handed them out, Jacob grabbed my waist and guided me to the chair between him and Huxley. I briefly worried about what Huxley would think about our nearness, but I wanted to provide comfort to him while Jules was there. Huxley seemed disinterested in what I was doing; all his attention was placed menacingly on Jules and Josiah.

  “What brings you here, Josiah? I thought I’d be retrieving the next wave of Walkers at the wedding,” Cyler asked.

  Josiah looked pointedly at me, then turned to answer his question. “Since you were attacked, I thought it would be honorable to replenish your Walkers. Our alliance is crucial to me. I also wanted to tour your quaint, little village.” He took a big bite of the cookie and groaned.

  “Oh, Ash,” he said with a full mouth. “This cookie is the second most delicious thing I’ve tasted today.” He licked his lips, and I blushed at what he suggested. His obvious affections were completely unlike his usual controlled behavior.

  “Did you all miss me?” Jules affectionately asked while glaring at Jacob. He had snaked his arm around me protectively and pulled me closer, almost yanking me out of my chair and onto his lap. He seemed to want to hurt Jules, but I felt used, and the emotional whiplash made tears sprinkle the corner of my eyes.

  Once again, everyone seemed to ignore her, including Josiah. I felt suffocated by tension. Having a full understanding of what transpired between everyone made the entire situation that much more intense.

  “If you’ll just excuse me. I think I need a nap.” I prayed that none of them begged me to stay. “Kemper and I toured the Walker housing, and it left me quite tired,” I explained while standing up. Jacob looked at me with sad, but understanding, eyes. I didn’t want to disappoint him, but the confusion I felt was too much.

  I didn’t want to feel used. I didn’t want to feel like a dirty secret. I wanted space. While walking towards my room, massive steps followed behind me, and I turned with a sigh. Surprisingly, Huxley stood there looking unsure. “Can we talk?” he asked.

  “Sure.” I didn’t feel like being scolded, but this was their house. I led him to my room, and he looked around while I removed my shoes and piled my thick hair up on top of my head.

  My room had changed some since first moving there. I had set up a small, art corner full of the supplies that Cyler got me, and I’d filled the walls with some of the sketches and paintings I’d made over the past couple days. Huxley’s large frame openly observing my work made me uncomfortable. Still, he remained silent. I sat on the bed, waiting for him to explain why he wanted to talk.

  His hand crushed into a fist, and when he released it, I saw that his nails had dug into his skin, breaking it and causing it to bleed.

  “I almost killed my best friend because of her,” he growled in a low voice.

  “Her unexpectedly showing up puts a lot of pressure on all of us. I just wanted to say thank you for keeping Jacob calm. He may be hurt, but ultimately, I think she scares him. I think he doesn’t believe that we still chose him over her.” His face looked like he’d rather choke on thorns than say ‘thank you’ to me, but I remained quiet and allowed him to continue.

  “I just wanted to say that, it’s not an act. You comfort Jacob. He’s . . . calmer when you’re around. And, he needs someone to make him feel secure in his place with us, here.” Huxley looked around the room and avoided making eye contact with me.

  “Huxley,” I began. I tried not to choke on the sob that rose up in my throat. “Josiah has become more desperate since the last time I saw him. It concerns me.” Admitting it out loud made the tears I wanted to keep at bay roll freely down my cheeks. How could what I’ve always wanted make me so sad?

  I knew that if anyone knew how dangerous desperation could be, it was Huxley. He was still struggling with the guilt that Jules’ irrational thinking left behind.

  “The fact that he’s here shows that he’s getting sloppy and letting his responsibilities crack,” Huxley seemed to think out loud. “Cyler told us that you and he had a history. I think you need to stay close to us.” I nodded. “We will keep you safe, Ash.” My nickname rolled off his tongue, and I felt a strange urge to hug him, but instead, he walked out of my room, and I laid down and allowed exhaustion to overcome me.

  Chapter 18

  The next morning, I snuck out early to go to the Dormitories where Maverick was administering vaccinations and making sure each male Walker was physically able. The long walk gave me time to think about Josiah’s rushed visit and consider how I wanted to handle things with him. All the pain, tension, and love between us was too much to handle, and I needed time to consider what I wanted from him.

  I heard Patrick calling my name, and I turned to see him running towards me, carrying a basket of what I assumed to be breakfast.

  “Hey, sugar. I went to get you this morning, but was surprised to find that you had already left,” he roared. Once we were closer, he said in a lower and softer tone. “I’d prefer that you didn’t walk alone while we have visitors. Please wait for one of us in the future.” He stared at me with wild eyes. I saw a firm determination there that made me feel safe and secure. It was a sense of stability that I needed with all the events of the past month.

  I nodded my head yes. I was unused to having a group of people so concerned with my wellbeing. “What are you doing today?” I asked politely.

  “I’m keeping an eye on you,” he answered with a grin. “I’m also going to assess the new Walkers your pal Josiah brought. Maverick has some . . . concerns . . . about their ability to work.” He said cryptically.

  “What kind of concerns?” I asked.

  “None that you should worry about,” he replied hastily. “You know, Huxley is the one that asked me to look after you. If I didn’t know any better, I’d say that he was starting not to hate you.” He said with a laugh.

  I chuckled at the thought. “Huxley just wants what’s best for you all. He’s navigating grief and guilt. I think I understand him more than anyone here.” I admitted. The truth in my admission startled me. Huxley was rough and mean, but he was fiercely protective of this town and his friends. Patrick interrupted my thoughts.

  “Is it weird that I’m relieved to hear you say that?” he asked, and I looked over at Patrick curiously. “I’m happy that someone sees Huxley for who he truly is.”

  We continued to walk in silence. For me, I saw a version of myself in Huxley the moment his frustrated and picky eyes cast themselves upon me. It seemed that I had everyone figured out but Patrick.

  “Who are you, Patrick? I mean really. I feel like I haven’t gotten much of an opportunity to get to know you these past couple weeks.” Patrick sighed and considered my question while we walked.

  “I’m who Huxley was before,” he answered. “It's like Huxley absorbed all my grief when our parents died. He didn’t allow me to feel pity or sadness. He took on responsibility for our group in the only way he knew how–by shouldering our burdens and feeling so sad that there was no more of the emotion left for the rest of us.” In not talking about himself, Patrick revealed everything I needed to know about him. He was intuitive and caring. “I see my brother, and it kills me, so I’m the one that balances him out. I keep positive,” he added.

  “I’m sorry about your parents,” I whispered while battling my own grief. This world had so much loss.

  “Thank you,” Patrick replied. “They passed when Huxley and I were ten. It’s been a while since I’ve thought of them.” Patrick then picked at his nails. It was a nervous tick I’d noticed that he had. “A group of desperate savages attacked our town, searching for supplies,” Patrick continued. “Both my parents were lost in the skirmish, and we moved in with Cyler and Maverick,” he explained further.

  “We’re all a bunch of orphans,” he admitted sadly. I wanted to know what happened to their famili
es but was too afraid to ask. I assumed that they would reveal it to me on their terms.

  “Honestly, Pat. I think you have the harder job.” I said. Patrick immediately stopped walking and turned to face me. “What do you mean?”

  “I think it's easy to allow the grief of others to flow through you. It's easy to cry or be mad. True strength means being a beacon of hope when everyone else gives into the darkness.” I didn’t intend for our conversation to take on such a meaningful tone but seeing Patrick’s eyes shine brightly made me thankful for my brave words.

  We made our way over to the Dormitories and found Maverick in the mess hall administering vaccinations to the new wave of Walkers from the Galla Providence. These Walkers looked healthy and well fed. They were mostly quiet and openly observed everyone while occasionally making comments to one another. The women Walkers watched eagerly. I noticed Becca appraising them with a smirk. I left Patrick to chat with Maverick and went over to speak with her.

  “Hey, Becca,” I said. “How are the new Walkers?”

  “Oh, they are simply fantastic.” She swooned. “I wish I knew what corner of the zone these hotties were scrounged from.” I looked back at them and agreed. These Walkers didn’t look like people that suffered in poverty. They were beefy and stoic. Some even had thick muscles that instinctively flexed when we passed. We chatted a bit more before she asked if she could visit me at the main house. Although I selfishly didn’t want her around the other brothers, I agreed, and we made plans to meet and get ready together before the Summer Solstice Festival in a few days.

  I made my way back over to Maverick just as he administered the last vaccination. Patrick then winked playfully at me and rounded up the walkers into the makeshift gymnasium for physical fitness tests. I assumed that they wanted to divide the Walkers into different groups depending on their fitness skills and need.

  “How are they?” I asked Maverick.

  “They seem to be a healthy bunch. Some were even overweight, which isn’t necessarily what we expected to come through from the Walker Zones. Apparently, some of them had jobs on their trade dock hauling crates. But still, something feels off.” He spoke mostly to himself and rubbed his fingers along the line of his red beard. We decided to walk over to the gymnasium and observe. Once there, Patrick had them doing a variety of drills, and they accomplished each task with precision. They seemed highly organized and incredibly fit. Maverick was right; something was off.