by Toni Aleo
“I ordered it for you. I have a whole case at the house. All for you.”
My heart tightens in my chest as I open the jar and scoop it on my finger, plopping it in my mouth. I smile as the flavors explode on my tongue. Ugh, Goober, how I’ve missed you. “God, I love this stuff. My dad and I were obsessed with it. My mom thought it was disgusting.”
“I’m with your ma.”
I smile as I take another scoop, holding it up to his lips. “Try it.”
“No way,” he says, his face scrunched up in disgust.
I pout, my lip out as I say, “Please?”
He laughs as he shakes his head. “You’re pout won’t work. We’ve talked about this before.”
I glare. “Yes it does. I got you to kiss me last time.” He goes to protest, but I stop him. “Please,” I say, jutting my lip out even more.
His eyes darken and then he takes my finger in his mouth, sucking the PB&J off. Biting the tip, his eyes stay locked with mine as he moves the Goober around in his mouth before swallowing. Shrugging his shoulders, he says, “It’s okay.”
I smile triumphantly. “Told ya.”
“So you did, come here,” he says, dropping his lips to mine. I go to deepen the kiss but he pulls away, cupping my face, looking deep in my eyes. His thumbs caress my jaw as he holds my gaze, his eyes searching mine. I’m not sure for what, but I love the way he looks at me. Like I’m the only girl in the world.
“I brought the Goober because I wanted to sweeten you up a bit before I asked you something.”
I laugh. “I’m already sweet.”
He nods as he drops his lips to mine for a quick kiss. “I was supposed to say that.”
I laugh as he presses into me. The feel of every inch of him silences me as he says, “But I need to ask if you’d be my date to this ball my ma and sis are throwing.”
I smile. “Of course I will. I’d love to.” I pause, watching him for a minute. His shoulders are so tense, and he’s working his lip. “Why do you look nervous? Did you think I’d say no?”
I laugh as he smiles back, running his nose along mine. “I don’t know. I don’t want to go. It’s stupid and my family is intense. There is a chance that you’ll hate them.”
I shake my head, holding his jaw in between my fingers. “I’m sure they are great. Just like you.”
His mouth pulls up at the side as relief floods his beautiful face. “I don’t know about that, but I do hope you like them.”
“Me too.”
He grabs my waist, pulling me closer, desire swirling deep in his blue eyes. Looking at my lips, he bites his, squeezing my waist as he brings me even closer. Dropping his head, his lips meet mine and I swear everything inside me turns to mush as he kisses the living crap out of me. I love kissing him. I love the feel of him, the way our bodies fit together. It makes me breathless and giddy all in one. I never want to leave this moment. It feels so perfect being wrapped up in his arms but when I hear yelling from inside, I pull back, cocking my head towards the sound.
“I have nothing to say to you,” I hear Fiona say.
“Who is she talking to?” I ask, breaking away from Declan before taking his hand in mine to pull him with me. He comes willingly as I say, “She sounds really mad.”
I start for the door as Declan says, “I think Kane was coming by.”
“Oh no,” I groan as I open the door to find Kane and Fiona with only the bar between them.
“Give me a chance to explain, Fiona, come on,” Kane pleads.
Fiona shakes her head. “There’s the door, don’t let it hit you on the arse.”
“Fiona, baby, look at me, come on,” he says, reaching across the bar to reach for her. She swats him away but then he gets ahold of her hands, bringing her to him with the bar still keeping them a good distance apart. “I don’t want to be apart from ya, baby, but I was stupid and scared because… because… fuck, baby, I’m just not good enough for you.”
Fiona pauses then as her face freezes in shock. “What?”
“You deserve someone that is gonna be something. Me, I’m a fuckin’ malter. I don’t have jack shit going for me, I live paycheck to paycheck. I come home smelling like crap. You don’t want that. You’re going to school, getting your degree in marketing, baby. How you gonna feel telling folks that your man works at the O’Callaghan Distillery, racking fuckin’ grain?”
Shaking her hands from his, she reaches out, taking his face in her hands. “I’d be proud ’cause you’re mine. I don’t care if you live paycheck to paycheck as long as you do it with me. I don’t care that you’ll come home stinking, because more than likely, I will, too. But none of that matters because I’m not asking you to marry me, Kane. I’m askin’ you to be with me, love me. The rest will fall in place later. Right now though, I just want you.”
Kane smiles as he covers her hands with his. “Really?”
She nods. “Yes, you big lug. I’m mad about ya, and I don’t care about anything else. Just you, just us.”
Kissing her nose, he whispers, “I’m sorry and I promise, Fiona. I wasn’t getting off with Ellen. She’s my friend.”
She nods, leaning her head against his. “I believe you.”
“I’m sorry I hurt you, baby,” he whispers, kissing the side of her mouth.
“It doesn’t matter now that I have you in my arms.”
He smiles before taking hold of her and pulling across the bar. She laughs loudly, and my heart constricts in my chest as I watch them kiss like they hadn’t in years. When they part, Fiona holds his face, her face bright as she says, “Don’t do something stupid like that again. Just talk to me, don’t hold it in. Okay?”
He nods. “Okay, so I guess we are together, huh?”
She laughs before smacking his arm. “Yup, together or nothing.”
“I pick together,” he says with a wink.
“Good choice.”
“I think so, which means you have to be my date to this dumb ball the O’Callaghans are throwing.”
Fiona eyes him, and I can’t help but grin like a fool as she asks, “Is that why you came to apologize, so you’d have a hot ass date?”
He looks at her stone face as he answers, “Well yeah, can’t expect me to go with someone ugly, do ya?”
She smacks him again as I laugh out loud along with Declan.
“You arse!” she accuses with a grin.
He smiles as he brings her in close. “No, I apologized because even though you just want me, I want a future with you. I’m mad about ya, Fiona. So mad.”
I cup my hands together against my chest in such a girly way, but I don’t care. I’m a sucker for this gushy stuff. Fiona eyes him for a moment before pressing her lips to his. He kisses her long and hard, holding her so tight I’m not sure she can breathe until she pulls back, grinning.
“I feel the same way,” she declares. “I’m in deep.”
Kane smiles as he holds her close. “Grand, baby.”
Still smiling, Fiona looks over at me and says, “Are you going?”
I nod quickly. “Yup!”
“You know what this means.”
Confused, I ask, “What?”
“We have to go shopping!”
I can’t wait to see you.
A grin curves my lips as I text Amberlyn back. I’ll be there in an hour.
“Declan, son, did you find a date for the ball?”
I look across the table at my ma and nod as I tuck my phone back in my pocket. “Sure did.”
“The American?” my da asks in a snooty way, and I hate the way he asks that. Like Amberlyn is beneath him when really, she is ten times the person he’ll ever be. It’s moments like this that I lose all respect for my da. He is supposed to be supportive, proud of the woman I chose to be mine, but instead he ridicules her when he doesn’t even fuckin’ know her. It’s beyond frustrating.
“Da, she has a name, Amberlyn, and yes, she will be accompanying me to the ball.”
Da makes a face as
if something stinks, while my ma and Lena beam.
“She is so pretty. I can’t wait to meet her,” Lena says with a grin.
I smile back at her. “She is beautiful, really something great. Even though I’d rather walk through fire than go to this ball, I know she’ll make it bearable.”
My ma waves me off as she laughs. “Oh Declan, it will be fun. Don’t you worry.”
“I highly doubt that, Ma, but all the same, I am coming and I am bringing someone.”
I reach for my water and take a gulp. I feel my da watching me, and I know that he isn’t done with the subject.
“Even though I don’t feel she will last, I look forward to meeting the person that is entertaining you right now.”
My nails bite into my palm as I clench my fist. “She isn’t just entertaining me. It’s more than that, Da. I fancy her, a lot.”
“That’s wonderful, Declan,” my ma says, trying to defuse the situation, but we are both so headstrong that neither of us will back down.
“She isn’t marriage material, and you know that.”
“I do not. I feel she is and you will see.”
“You’re right, I will. When she sees the expectations of you, she’ll run. An American is not meant for this kind of life. You have to be bred for it. Cleary, she has not. It isn’t easy being an O’Callaghan.”
“Got that fuckin’ right,” I mutter.
“Declan!” my ma scolds as my da glares.
I don’t care though; I want to rip his head off. “You don’t know her. So how can you sit there and make these accusations when ya haven’t even met her. Da, don’t you want me to be happy?”
He holds my gaze as he slowly nods. “Of course, but with the right person. She is not it.”
“She’s it. I swear, all she has to do is smile and I’m grinning while my heart feels as if it is coming out my chest. She makes me feel so good inside and complete. I didn’t want to leave these grounds for the last three years because I’ve been so scared of trying to fall for someone that is going to use me and screw me over, but all it took was seeing her across the lake and that was it for me. I was off to go find her. She is special and not that you deserve to see that, but you will.”
Ma and Lena both look at me with wide, loving eyes, while my da’s eyes are hard and not the least bit affected by my declaration of love for Amberlyn. I don’t get it. How can he not see how much I’ve changed? How I’d face a place full of people just because Amberlyn wants to? I’d do anything for her.
I love her.
“You love her? After a month? Please,” Da scoffs. “That is preposterous.”
Shit, did I say that aloud? Looking across the table, I shake my head as I hold his stone-hard gaze. “No, it’s not. It’s the truth. She does something to me, something that no one has ever done. I love her, Da, and I want you to respect me on that. I think I’ve been the prodigal son. I’ve learned the business. I’ve loved my family first and always been loyal and true to you. Can you not give the girl I love a chance? You are dismissing her on her background, and that’s not fair.”
I stand, throwing my napkin on the plate as my ma says, “Declan, please sit, finish your dinner.”
I ignore her, my eyes set on my da as I continue, “I’ve always respected you, always looked up to you, wanted to be the man you are, but if this is how you treat people, I’m sorry, I don’t want to be you. I want to be better. Amberlyn is special. She owns my heart and because I love her, you should do the same. If you can’t, then you don’t love me.”
“Now Declan—” he starts, but I shake my head, stopping him mid-word.
“I’ve said my piece, and I don’t want to hear that you think you know what’s best for me. I am a grown-ass man. I am capable of knowing how to choose someone to love and trust. All I need now is for you to accept her and until that moment, I don’t think we have anything else to say to each other.”
Turning, despite my ma’s pleas and Da’s demands, I leave the room and head for the door. Once outside, I greet our front door man as he opens the car door for me before wishing me goodnight. Starting my car, I head out the driveway and once on the open lot, I kick the car into high speed, racing down the road. The speed calms me and I am thankful for this outlet, but I just hate how much I let him get to me.
Does it really matter if he likes her? No. It doesn’t, as long as I love her nothing else should matter, but a part of me wants him to. I want him to look at her and know she was made to be mine. I want my ma and sister to love her, for them to get along and want to do things together. A spot of tea here, shopping there, anything for them to bond. To know that she was sent to Ireland to love me, to be with me. That the stars mapped out our love.
It’s true, and I don’t care how sappy it sounds. When you know, you know, and I refuse to allow anyone or anything to derail that. People search their whole lives for someone they feel is their soul mate, and I found mine across a lake. I wasn’t looking, I didn’t even want to find her, but there she was and I couldn’t bear the thought of her being anyone’s but mine. She drives me wild. Her body, her eyes, her mind, her laughter—she is the whole package. One that I refuse to let go of. All I need now is for her to feel the same way, and life will be grand.
Letting out a breath, I pull into the pub and notice it is packed. I wouldn’t expect anything else, but I guess a small part of me hoped they’d be dead so Amberlyn and I could escape away. Locking the door, I head inside, greeted by silence when everyone sees that it is me.
“Howya, Declan.”
I look up to see Mrs. Maclaster grinning at me, and I smile back. “Howya, Mrs. Maclaster.”
She winks before balancing a tray on her hip with plates. “At the bar tonight? Or would you like a table?”
“The bar, please.”
She cocks her head up towards the bar and says, “On with ya then. Amberlyn should be out in a bit.”
“Thank you,” I say, heading to the bar where my girl stands with a grin on her face and her hands full of plates.
“Hey you,” she calls as she passes by me, winking playfully. The smile on my face can’t be removed as my fingers run along the small of her back, the silk of her shirt teasing my fingertips.
“My love,” I whisper, and she flashes me a grin before going to deliver the plates to her patrons. I watch as she moves, talking and joking with the elderly couple before going to a group of ladies. I know they feel at home, loved even, because that is the way you feel when Amberlyn is around. You just feel good. She looks amazing tonight, too. In shorts with a green, see-through tank layered over a green tank, her hair is pulled up in a bun and she is wearing thick, dark-framed glasses that are covering her sparkling eyes. I’m not sure if they are prescription, but I love the hip look she is portraying. When Fiona passes by me, I see that she matches Amberlyn, wearing the same glasses but with a yellow shirt. I smile at her as I settle into the barstool, receiving one back before pulling out my phone, checking my Facebook until Amberlyn appears.
When she places a pint in front of me, I say with a grin, “I needed this.”
She smiles before coming up on her tippy toes, leaning over the bar to place a sweet kiss on my lips. As we part, my grin grows as I say, “No, I needed that.”
As I cup her beautiful face, we share a smile before she falls back on her heels.
“Everything okay?”
I shrug. “Family drama.”
“Anything I can do to help?” she asks, her head falling to the side, her eyes genuine.
I shake my head, lacing my fingers with hers. “Just being here is helping.”
“You don’t talk about them much.”
I shrug. “There is nothing to talk about.”
She bites into her lip before squeezing my hand and asking, “Are you hungry?”
I nod. “Yes, please.”
“Special? Fish and chips.”
“Yeah, sounds good.”
“Awesome,” she says, letting my hand go t
o fill my order. I play on my phone while I wait. It doesn’t take long and soon she returns, laying my plate on the bar.
“How long until you’re off?” I ask, munching on a chip.
“Gotta get through the rush and then I can go. Tomorrow though, Fiona is going out with Kane so I probably won’t be able to see you,” she says sadly with a shrug.
I smile, running my finger along the back of her hand. “I’m not going to lie, that sucks.”
“I know.” She grins as she moves away from the bar. “Enjoy your dinner.”
“Thanks, love.”
As I eat, I watch her. It’s hard not to. She is intoxicating and takes up whatever space she is in. I love her laugh, the way she moves, and the way she has a quick comeback to the drunks in the bar. Sometimes I feel like I’m enveloped in her carefree way, and I love it. I wish I could be half of what she is. I am still so mad, frustrated with my da, but like I said earlier, she makes it better. Nothing bothers her. She takes everything with a grain of salt and always sees the brighter side. I wish I could do that. Instead, I dwell on things and I constantly think of things I cannot change. I want to learn to be like her, I want to grow with her, and to constantly be surprised by her. She is simply amazing, and thankfully, all mine.
It takes longer than I would have liked for the rush to slow down. It’s well past eight before we are in the car, heading towards the movies.
“I’m sorry,” she says for the hundredth time.
“Love, its fine. We’ll just make the later show.”
“I know, but I feel bad you had to wait so long.”
“It’s no big deal,” I say, squeezing her hand. Out the corner of my eye, I see her yawn and ask, “Do you still want to go?”
She nods earnestly. “Oh yes, I can’t wait. I’m just worn out.”
“Are you sure? We can go back.”
“No, I want to go. I want to be with you.”
I bring her hand up to kiss her knuckles before letting it drop back in my lap. We arrive at the movies just in time for the later showing like I hoped. Getting out of the car, I come around and wait as she fools around with something before getting out.
