by Toni Aleo
“Hey, do you have your wallet?” she calls at me.
I glance over at her and slowly nod. What is she worried about my wallet for? “Yeah, why?”
“Can you hold my bank card?” she asks, holding it up for me.
“Why?”
“I don’t want to bring my purse in, and my shorts don’t have pockets.”
I blink and can’t believe what I was thinking. This is Amberlyn, not some fuckin’ gold-digging bitch. Taking her card, I smile as I tuck it in my pocket. “You don’t need it.”
She laughs. “I like popcorn and stuff.”
“And I’ll buy it. It’s a date, Amberlyn,” I say, taking her hand in mine.
“I know that and you are obligated to buy my ticket, but I can get the popcorn with extra butter, M&Ms, and a pop.”
I pull her against me, kissing her temple before saying, “Or I can get it all and you can hush?”
She glares up at me, her eyes gleaming with mischief. “Are you telling me to shut up and let you be the man here while I be the girl?”
I laugh. “Yes. Now come on, we are late.”
She laughs along with me, probably knowing I won’t budge, and once inside, I pay for everything before settling into our seats to watch the latest action flick. It is good but it’s better with Amberlyn in the crook of my arm. When it ends, we head through the lobby towards the car while people stop and stare. I hate it. I want to apologize but in a way, I know it would do no good. My da’s words play in my head, saying that she isn’t made for this life, but I know she is. So I don’t say anything because she needs to get used to it if we were going to be together, but when someone pulls out their phone and takes a picture, I can’t help it and say, “Sorry, people are staring and taking pictures. I hoped it wouldn’t be this busy.”
I feel so self-conscious, as if at any moment she is going to throw her hands up and storm away, hating this thing I call life, but to my surprise, she grins up at me and God, I love her eyes. They are so bright, so playful, and I swear, everything about her drives me insane.
With a shrug, her eyes narrow in such a matter of fact way as she says, “They stare because we look so good together, duh! Or they’re jealous because I’m with the hottest guy ever.”
When she winks, my heart explodes in my chest. Not knowing what to say, I let my body do the talking by turning, stopping her mid-stride, wrapping my arms around her waist, and pulling her to me. Her eyes go wide before I drop my mouth to hers, kissing her so hard and deeply that nothing else matters but her sweet lips. Slowly our mouths move together and all I can think is if people weren’t staring before, they sure are now. Parting, I press my lips to hers, lightly, before whispering, “You are the best thing that ever happened to me.”
A slow grin spreads over her face before her hands travel up my chest and around my neck. I can feel her heart pounding, her eyes are bright, and I feel like she is trying to say something without really saying it. Twirling her fingers in the hair at the nape of my neck, she smiles. “I’ve never felt like this.”
“Me neither,” I say, taking her mouth with mine. I know for sure that people are staring, along with taking pictures, but I don’t fuckin’ care. I also know that my ma and da will probably get wind of this before I get home but, at this moment, nothing matters but holding this woman in my arms and getting lost in her kisses.
“Do you want me to take you home?”
Amberlyn looks over at me and shrugs. “Up to you. I’m not tired now.”
I laugh as I turn onto the road that will lead back on her aunt’s property. Driving out on the grass, I park under the tree by the lake.
“We could have walked,” she joked as she threw the door open.
“Yeah, but then we wouldn’t have anything to lie on.”
She looks at me questionably. “So what? We are lying on the car?”
I shrug. “Why not?”
She throws her hands towards the car. “This car is sexy! I don’t want to dent it with my huge ass.”
I roll my eyes before setting her with a look. “Did you say that so I will say you don’t have a huge ass?”
She smiles shyly. “Maybe.”
“Well, sorry love, your ass is huge and I fuckin’ love it. Now come on,” I say, smacking her ass playfully. She laughs but then stops, reaching down for a weed.
“Oh! My favorite! Make a wish.”
“Love, it’s a weed,” I say, but she holds it up to my face.
“No, it’s a wish,” she says, her eyes glittering with excitement. I’m lost in her eyes and before I know it, I’m leaning forward making a wish. She smiles before picking another one, closing her eyes tight before opening and blowing with all her might. Slowly, the little fuzzies fly through the air around us and when I glance at her, she is just grinning. I watch her, my chest seizing, as I admire her love for the world. I don’t understand how she could have been through so much crap and she can still bend down for a weed and turn it into a wish. It’s magical, really.
As she smiles back at me, I lean forward and kiss her temple before I pull her up onto the hood of the car. As she cuddles into my side, we look up at the clear sky and I let out a long breath.
“So my attempt at fishing for a compliment went to shit, huh?” she asks, wrapping her arm around my waist.
I smile. “Love, you don’t need to fish but yes, very much so.”
“Hmm, maybe next time.”
I laugh. “If you want a compliment, I’ll give you one.”
She doesn’t say anything for a second and I think I’ve offended her, but then she says, “I’m waiting!”
I look over to meet her grinning face. “For?”
“For my compliment!”
A hearty laugh escapes my lips before I say, “Oh, sorry.”
“Jeez, leave a girl hanging like that,” she says, smacking me playfully.
“Shh,” I say, squeezing her hip tightly. “Here I go.”
“Hit me with it.”
“I’m trying, but you keep talking,” I tease, giving her a pointed look. She bites her lip, holding in her laughter as I say, “You, my beautiful Amberlyn, are by far the most gorgeous girl in the world. I love your eyes, your lips, and I am convinced that you have the greatest arse in Ireland.”
Her face warms with color before she snuggles into my chest, causing me to laugh. “Look, I compliment you and you hide!”
She laughs as she snuggles deeper. “Shut up, you make me blush.”
“Grand. Look at me, I love seeing the color on your face.”
She peeks up at me, and then we both dissolve with laughter. Hugging her closer as our laughter subsides, I kiss her temple before whispering, “This is nice.”
She nods. “Yeah, it is.”
Slowly running my hands along the small of her back, I take in her scent, basking in the flowery smell of her. “You know, today I discovered that I don’t know something about you.”
She looks up at me and smiles. “No way.”
“No really, I know you are going to school in the fall, but I don’t know for what.”
“English major. I want to be a teacher,” she says. I can’t help but notice that her eyes light up with the mention of teaching.
“That’s awesome. So you like kids?”
She grins as she nods. “Yeah, but I want to teach older kids, like the theory of English maybe. I’m not sure. I just want to be immersed in books, and I want to share my love with someone else.”
As much as I love her passion, I can’t help but think she probably wouldn’t be happy being a stay-at-home mom/wife, which is what usually happens when O’Callaghans get married. Swallowing my disappointment, I say, “Wow, you’re very passionate about it. It’s refreshing.”
Threading her fingers in my hair, she nods. “Yup, we are both passionate about the things we love, huh?”
I couldn’t agree more. Leaning towards her, I run my nose along hers before taking her mouth with mine. Our lips move with ease
as our limbs tangle and the kiss deepens. As I hold her close, our kisses get more demanding as our hands explore each other’s body. Hooking her leg over my hip, I press into her, our tongues tangling with each other. I am so hot for her. I can’t control my need to feel her, to be completely immersed in her. Tearing my mouth from hers, I kiss down her jaw, nipping and licking down her throat, but soon stop when I hear her yawn.
“Oh my God, please say I did not just yawn.”
A smile covers my lips as I pull back to look down in her flush, beautiful face. “You did.”
“I’m so sorry, ignore it. As you were,” she says, urging me on, but I can’t.
“No love, you’re tired. Let me take you home.”
Her eyes drift close in embarrassment, and I laugh before kissing her loudly on her lips. “Come on, love,” I say, getting off the car and pulling her with me. She comes unwillingly but once in my arms, she melts against me.
“I suck. I’m sorry.”
I shake my head. “Don’t apologize. It’s no big deal. We have all the time in the world.”
She looks away and shakes her head. When she looks up at me, her eyes are serious and I swear it’s as if she has kneed me in the gut. “No, we don’t. I could die, you could die, and then I would never get to have you like this again. All we have is now, and I don’t ever want this to end. I would honestly be lost without you, Declan. I know that’s crazy to admit, but it’s true. Don’t be freaked out! Oh my god, I just went completely off the handle there. It’s just scary, you know? I love being with you, I love your body touching mine, and I can’t believe I yawned. You don’t bore me, I swear!”
She says it all so fast, but each words pulls at my heartstrings. My mouth pulls up at the side before I hug her closer to me. “Amberlyn, calm down, jeez. It’s not a big deal. I know that our time is limited. I do treasure every second I have with you, don’t ever think that I don’t, but like you said, we have to live in the now, and, right now, I can’t exactly get off with ya while you’re sleeping.”
She snorts with laughter before hiding her face in the nook of my shoulder. I pull her away, holding her cherub cheeks in my hands before whispering, “And to be honest, I’d be lost without you, too.”
Her face brightens with excitement before she slowly goes up on her toes, meeting her mouth to mine. When our lips touch, I know that it’s the truth. That my life would be nothing without this girl in my arms.
“I’m a dumbass.”
Fiona lets out a laugh as she looks through the racks. “Totally. Who yawns while her guy tries to get off? Was it boring?” she asks, cutting me a look.
I flash her a dark look, shaking my head quickly. “No, I was just dead on my feet. Nothing is boring about Declan. He’s romantic, perfect, and can kiss like you can’t believe. It was amazing, and I didn’t want it to end even though I was so tired.”
“I suggest when you go out, make sure you are awake and don’t ever yawn again. You’re gonna give him a complex, and he won’t want to kiss ya.”
Like I hadn’t thought of that already. “Thanks,” I moan as I look through the racks that are full of white dresses. On a rare day where my aunt and uncle gave us a day off, Fiona and I are off on a mission of shopping for the ball before getting lunch. I am starving but Fiona said we couldn’t eat until after we got our dresses, since she didn’t want to be bloated trying them on. I didn’t care one way or another. I just wanted to eat, but she told me that she wasn’t buying a dress sporting a food baby.
While I am annoyed and hungry, Fiona is excited, wearing a bright smile with her blonde locks falling in her eyes as she searches the racks. She is more excited than I am because I guess it means Kane and her are coming out to everyone, which is great, don’t get me wrong, but while I can’t wait to get dolled up and spend the night dancing with Declan, I’m nervous. I haven’t been to a ball before. I don’t even know how to act at these type of things, but Fiona has and guarantees me everything will be fine. I just hope I can find a dress that suits me. I don’t want to look like a whore or a frumpy weirdo when I meet my boyfriend’s parents.
Turning to me, Fiona holds up a dress. It’s hideous! I shrug, not wanting to be rude, and then after a moment she does the same before putting it back. We do this for what seems like hours as my night with Declan plays over and over in my mind. The more time I spend with Declan, the more I get to know him, and the more I fall. I love his smile. I love his eyes, they are like coming home, and his arms are so warm. I was being honest when I said that I’d be lost without him—I would be. It’s become such a routine between us. We spend the day texting until the moment we are able to see each other, usually during lunch. Then we both return to work before joining up later that night. Tangled in each other’s limbs, we talk for hours, learning so much about each other, and I love every single moment of it. He keeps me on my toes, he makes me laugh, and he makes me feel so special. It’s perfect and everything I’ve ever wanted.
I remember when I was fourteen. I told my mom that I was going to marry Mr. Darcy. She agreed that he would be an amiable man and that we would need to get first-class tickets back in time to find him. For the next hour, we discussed what we would do to help my dreams come true and how Darcy would be a fool not to fall for me. I was convinced that he was the man for me. It was so innocent and perfect that it brings tears to my eyes just thinking about it.
Before my mom passed, she said not to settle for anything but Mr. Darcy status and I feel that I’ve found that. While it worries me that this is my first love and how people never stay with their first loves, I can’t help but feel so strongly about him—like he consumes me. Every single part of me is in love with him, and I don’t know how to handle my feelings. They are so scary.
“Why are you just standing there? Look,” Fiona says, playfully smacking my butt as she passes by me.
I smile before biting into my lip and looking over at her. She catches me watching her and asks, “What?”
I shrug, a smile still pulling at my lips. “Declan said I’m the best thing that’s ever happened to him.”
When my shoulders sway back and forth with a girly grin on my face, I feel a little dumb but not enough to stop doing it. She smiles before leaning against the rack.
“That’s sweet. What did you say?”
Shyly, I answer, “That I’ve never felt like this before.”
Her brows come up as she sets me with a look. “Felt like what?”
Biting the inside of my cheek, I shrug. “I love him.”
“You said that?” she asks, her face visibly shocked.
“No, I haven’t. I don’t know how.”
Coming to me, she cups my shoulders, looking deep in my eyes. “Don’t. Wait for him to say it to you.”
“Why?”
“Because if you do it, then that means you care more. What if he doesn’t, but he says it because he wants to be nice? This is Declan O’Callaghan. The Whiskey Prince, Amberlyn. He has duchesses, actresses, and debutantes throwing those three words at him all the time, but not once has he ever been in love with any of them. I’m not saying he doesn’t care for you. It’s obvious he does, but don’t say it yet. Wait for him because… Okay, don’t take this the wrong way, promise?”
I can only blink as I process what she is saying to me. “Okay?”
“You are the only normal person I’ve ever seen Declan with. He has always dated the rich and famous. So I don’t know what to think of this. Does he really love you? Or is he trying to do it as a stunt? You know? Don’t get me wrong, I want to trust Declan because of how highly Kane thinks of him, but he makes me nervous because it’s you. You’re basically my sister, and I don’t want any more pain to come to you. Not after everything you’ve been through.”
Taking her hand in mine, I smile. “I love you, I do, and I love that you worry about me, but Declan is shy. I think those other women were just what he was expected to do, and maybe I’m the real deal. Maybe I’m grasping at straws beca
use really, a guy like Declan falling for me is kind of comical, but I can’t help but hope to God it can be true because I do love him. I love him with all my heart, and I can’t wait to hear him say it back to me.”
“It’s not comical, Amberlyn. You are amazing, and I think you may be right. I mean, you know him, the real him, so I trust your judgment, but please give it a little more time before you start screaming you love the man. Wait till you sleep with him, and then decide. He could have a small dick, ya know.”
“Good God,” I mutter as I drop her hands and shake my head as she laughs.
“What? He could!”
“Not that I would know since he’d be the first!” I counter, and she nods.
“True, so here’s the rule of thumb… you want more than a mouthful.”
I close my eyes, seconds away from covering my ears. “Please, Fiona.”
She sends me a sneaky grin before going back to flipping through the racks. I stand there for a second, thinking of what she said, and then I say, “I think I will wait.”
She nods. “Good.”
“It’s only been like six weeks. While I know what I am feeling is true, I think it’d be better to wait. Don’t want to go scare him off.”
“Yes,” she agrees. “Wait until he says it.”
“I mean, we’ll see what happens. I live in the moment. If for some reason, I have to tell him or I know I can’t go on, I’m just going to do it. I know what my feelings are and all I can hope is that when I tell him, he feels the same.”
She nods. “True, now stop worrying about all that. Let’s pick dresses out that will blow our fella’s minds!”
“Okay!” I say with as much enthusiasm as I can muster. Truth is, I suck at dress shopping. I never went shopping for dance stuff. I was too busy studying and changing my mom’s bedding. Flipping through the racks of beautiful, white dresses, I sigh. “Why couldn’t it be like a black ball? White is so boring to me.”
Fiona shakes her head. “No way. White dresses are gorgeous because they are usually blinged out, you pair it with some brightly colored heels, and life is grand. This one is nice. It would look good on ya. It’s very Victorian, which suits ya,” she says, holding up a dress.
