Savage SEAL’s Virgin: A Submissives’ Secrets Novel

by Michelle Love

  They also said how he and I should have a baby before Tatum was too much older. It would be nice for her to grow up with a sibling or two, in their opinions. Troy agreed. I wasn’t ready to make that commitment yet, which was hard to explain, since we had a fake marriage instead of a real one.

  I wasn’t about to have a child without being married. It was just one of the many issues I had from being dumped as a newborn. I wanted things to be perfect before I brought a child into the world.

  If there was such thing as perfect!

  I’ll never forget that day at the end of September. Troy and I were riding in the Tetris. It was the safest car he owned. Since Tatum had come along, he’d only allowed her to be transported in that car. In his own words, his little princess was priceless and should always be treated that way.

  We were on our way to the school to pick her up when his cell rang. It was a ringtone I’d never heard. The way he looked at the phone had me feeling worried. His eyes shifted to it as it was lying on the console between us. His lips bowed into a frown as three deep lines creased his forehead.

  “Who is that?” I asked him.

  His eyes cut to mine, then cut away. “My captain.”

  “That sounds ominous.” I bit my lower lip as he picked up the phone.

  “Masterson,” he answered the call.

  My heart was pounding. My head was spinning. And I could tell by the way his face was going blank that he was going to have to leave us, at least for a little while. That was the one thing that loomed over us. Nothing else threatened our happiness. Well, maybe me not agreeing to marry him, but nothing other than that threatened what we’d found. Only the Navy could hurt us.

  It took no time for the call to be over. I watched as Troy’s broad shoulders slumped. I took his hand and gave it a little squeeze. “Is it bad?”

  He shook his head. “No. I don’t want you to worry. It’s top secret. I can’t say a word about it.” He cut his eyes from me before he turned into the school’s parking lot. “Let’s not say anything about this in front of Tatum.”

  I nodded in agreement. “I won’t. Can you tell me when you have to go and how long you’ll be gone?”

  “Tonight. And it shouldn’t be that long—a day or two.”

  I knew it had to be dangerous as hell if it was such an impromptu mission. Some really bad guy must be in the perfect position to be taken out or something. In my mind, that meant the danger was at an extreme level, and the love of my life was heading straight into it.

  Tears burned the backs of my eyes as I blinked to keep them right where they were. I didn’t want to cry. Not when we were about to pick up Tatum. “What are we going to tell her, Troy? What reason are you going to give her that you have to go away for a few days?”

  “I’ll say I’m needed on base in San Diego. As far as anyone knows, that’s right where I’ll be. Don’t worry. I see it in your eyes.” He parked the car, then took me by the chin, running the pad of his thumb over my cheek. “I’ve been well trained, baby.”

  All I could do was nod. My throat had a boulder in it. We got out of the car and went inside to get his daughter, who I was beginning to think of as mine. She was like the glue that was holding us together.

  Troy and I hadn’t argued at all since she came to live with us. And he’d even backed off the whole real marriage thing, most of the time, anyway. There were occasions, especially when we were making love, that he’d ask me to marry him. But it didn’t make me anywhere near as mad as it had before she came. I had no idea why that was, but it was that way.

  We held hands as we walked up the sidewalk, then I made a little sobbing sound. He ran his arm around me, pulling me close, and kissing the side of my head. “It’s okay, Blyss. It’s going to be fine. I’ll be gone a few days, tops. I only have eight more months of this, then I’m up for re-enlistment, which I won’t be doing. Hang in there, baby.”

  I still couldn’t talk. I had to swallow it all down and keep it locked away. Tatum couldn’t see me that way or she’d get upset too. Something I had learned from years of shoving my fears down when I was a kid cropped up in me and I managed to lock my emotions down. The tears stopped burning my eyes and the knot in my throat slowly went away. I could hold it together for our little girl.

  I had to.

  Later, I sipped on a soda as Tatum and Troy ate their ice cream cones. My tummy wasn’t having any more than that. Tatum was chatty, talking away about her day at school and how they were going to have a field trip next week where her whole class was coming to the winery for a tour.

  “I think that’s ‘mazing,” she said, then licked her ice cream. “Don’t you, Daddy?”

  “It is. You’ll be able to tell your class things about the winery even the tour guide doesn’t know, I betchya. Things like how you’re a third-generation heir to it. How cool is that?”

  “Really cool!” She was excited and I was happy for her.

  The two of them talked about the tour all the way home, then Tatum ran to her grandparent’s house to tell them all her news. But she didn’t have all of it. She didn’t have the news that her daddy had to leave that night and wouldn’t be back for at least a few days. I had no idea when he thought he’d spring that on her. And I had no idea how I was going to sleep that night, without him by my side. Knowing he was going somewhere dangerous was a gut-clencher.

  He and I went up to our bedroom, where he took out some things and placed them on top of the dresser. There was a gold watch that hung on a chain. It looked old and expensive. There was a set of plain gold wedding bands that hung on a gold necklace. Then there was a silver chain with a set of dog tags hanging from it.

  “Can I ask you to do something for me, Blyss?” He turned away from the dresser to look at me.

  All I could do was stare blankly at the things he’d laid out on top of it. “You can.”

  He took me by the shoulders and gave me a bit of a shake to draw me out of the daze I’d gone into. “Baby?”

  I blinked, then looked at him. “I’m sorry. I’ve just never felt so afraid. Not ever. Not even when that man …”

  He kissed me. “Don’t talk about that right now. Don’t think about any of that shit right now. I’m going to be fine. I’ve never had anyone except my parents to worry about while I’m on a mission. This isn’t easy for me either. I’ve got you and Tatum now. This is something I prayed wouldn’t happen before I got out of the Navy. But it has, and there’s nothing I can do about it now.”

  “Just don’t go.” It was a good idea, I thought. “Tell them you’re sick.”

  He shook his head. “It doesn’t work that way, baby.” He gestured to the things on the dresser once more. “The watch was my grandfather’s, on my mother’s side. The wedding rings were my great-grandparents, on my father’s side. The dog tags were from my first year in the Navy. I thought I’d lost them and had to get another set. Later, I found them in the bottom of a boot. They have special meaning to me.”

  “And why is that?”

  “I wore them on a mission where I nearly drowned It was a rescue mission, there was flooding, and I went in to save a couple of kids who had gotten themselves swept away. That water was brutal, and when I got out, I was naked as the day I was born. Some of my gear was found later and returned to me. My boots and cap were all that was found.”

  “And you found your tags in one of those boots?” I ran my hand through his wavy hair. It had gotten longer than when I first met him, but I was pretty sure they’d cut it back down to nearly to nothing when he went back to base.

  “A few years later, I did. And it reminded me of how I thought I was going to die that day. Anyway, enough about that. I don’t want to make you cry. I just want you to give Tatum the gold necklace with the wedding bands, give Mom the watch, and you keep the tags. If I don’t come back.”

  That was all I could take. I grasped his arms, my fingers curling around them as I held tight. “No! No, Troy! Don’t go! Please!” Sobs broke out as rive
rs flowed from my eyes. I couldn’t take it. I couldn’t let him go. He pulled me close and shushed me as he rocked me, trying to comfort me. There was just nothing he could do to accomplish that, except not go.

  I knew he had no choice, but my brain was flying with ideas for him to use to get out of it. There was no reason for me to say any of them out loud, though. He was an honorable man who had a duty to our country. No one could stop what he had to do.

  Picking me up, he took me to the bed and sat down with me on his lap, brushing my hair back. “I’ll come back. You’ll see. It’s all going to be okay.”

  I had something I was going to do the next morning. Something I hadn’t told him about. I was weighing my options. Should I find out, or wait for him to come back before I even tried to find out?

  Troy

  Blyss kissed me, then climbed off my lap. “I need to use the bathroom. I’ll be right back.”

  Watching her walk away from me had my heart hammering in my chest. I didn’t want to go; I didn’t want to leave them. There was nothing I could do about it, though. I was a SEAL and my team needed me. That was that. I laid back on the bed. I wouldn’t get to hold Blyss that night. I wouldn’t get to read Tatum a bedtime story, either. I would have to leave right after dinner to make it to the base on time.

  As always with secret missions, I would have no idea where I was going until we were on a ship, underway to the destination. Only then would we find out what kind of shit we were about to get into. I’d gone on a mission a month before I went to Portland. I’d had a close call with the enemy, narrowly avoiding gunfire. I knew every time I went out, I might not come back alive. And I’d been all right with that.

  Not anymore.

  There was a gnawing in my gut that ate at me. If I didn’t make it back, what would become of Blyss? Tatum was settled. My family would be there for her for the rest of her life. She was a Masterson. I’d filled out the papers, and she carried my last name. Blyss and I had a fake marriage, and she had no permanent place with my family.

  The only thing that Blyss had going for her was that she’d become a wealthy woman. She could move on, but what would that do to Tatum if she did? I’d never felt so torn in my life. I couldn’t expect Blyss to stay with my family and take care of my daughter if I never returned. No one should ask that of anyone. And I wasn’t going to ask her to do that. I couldn’t.

  The bathroom door opened and I sat up. “You okay, baby?”

  Blyss was pale as she held up a little white stick. “I was going to do this in the morning. It said it was better to use morning urine for the test.”

  “Morning urine?” I got up to go to her to see what the hell she was holding.

  “Yes, morning urine. But it seems I had enough hormones in my system to get positive results.”

  “Are you saying what I think you’re saying, Blyss?” I took the thing out of her hand and saw a plus sign. “Oh, my God! Blyss! Is this a …” I was giddy. I was going to be a father! Again!

  She nodded, and I picked her up, spinning her around, then put her feet on the ground. “I’m pregnant, Troy. I don’t know how this happened. I’m on the pill.”

  “There was that two weeks you were in the hospital when you weren’t taking them. I bet you got pregnant that week I brought you home. Don’t take any more of those pills and get your therapist to suggest an OB for you.” Then it really hit me. We were going to have a baby!

  “Troy, I …”

  I wasn’t about to let her say another word. I had something to say to her first My knees hit the floor and I looked up at her. “Blyss Danner, you’re going to have my baby. Will you, for the love of all that’s holy, please marry me when I get back from this mission? I’m begging you to say yes, baby. I’m pleading with you. I swear to always take care of you and our family. Just marry me. Promise me we’ll make this marriage real as soon as I get back.”

  She gulped. “That’s a lot of unnecessary pleading, Troy. I was going to ask you if we could do that anyway. So, you have a yes from me. I’ll marry you as soon as you come back to us. Your family.”

  I got up and picked her up, spinning her around some more. I couldn’t help it. I was on cloud nine. I wanted to shout our great news from the rooftops. We were getting married and having a baby!

  “You’ve made me so happy, Blyss. I can’t wait to tell Mom and Dad!”

  “The baby news is all we can tell Tatum and her grandparents. Don’t forget that, Troy. We’ll have to keep the real marriage hush-hush from them. I don’t want them to know we lied.”

  “Agreed. We’ll go to Vegas when I get back. I’ll charter a private jet to take us there, and we’ll be back before Tatum gets out of school that day. Sound like a plan to you, baby?”

  Suddenly, she looked like she might faint. Her body went limp in my arms, so I picked her up and carried her to the bed. “It’s all going so fast, Troy. I hate fast.”

  That was nothing new, but things were going to happen that way no matter how hard she tried to fight the current that was rapidly moving our lives forward.

  Brushing the back of my hand over her cheek, I kissed her. “Everything will be fine. You’ll see.” I kissed her again, then heard a knock at our bedroom door.

  “Daddy, Mommy, where are you?” came Tatum’s little voice.

  “She’ll be the first person we tell about the baby, Blyss. Agreed?”

  She nodded. “Let her in. We’ll tell her now.”

  I gave her one more kiss, then went to let in our little girl. Blyss wasn’t Tatum’s mother legally, yet, but I’d be changing that soon too. I wanted adoption papers drawn up before our baby arrived that would make Blyss Tatum’s mother on paper. She already treated her as if she was her very own.

  Scooping Tatum up after I opened the door, I kissed her chubby cheek. “Hey, you. Mommy and Daddy have some great news.”

  “Oh, yeah?” She saw Blyss lying in bed and her brows furrowed. “Is Mommy feeling sick?”

  “She’s just a little tired,” I said as I took her and sat down next to Blyss, with her on my lap.

  Blyss sat up, rubbed her temples, and gave Tatum a smile. “I’ve had a very big surprise, honey. That’s why I was lying down.”

  “A surprise?” Tatum was grinning from ear-to-ear, then she clapped her little hands. “Tell me, tell me! Please!”

  “I’ll let you do the honors, Blyss.” I leaned over and kissed her cheek.

  She took Tatum’s hands as they looked into each other’s eyes. “Tatum, I’m going to have you a baby brother or sister. What do you think about that?”

  “What? Really?” Tatum’s little eyes went misty as she shrieked, “I’m gonna be a big sister!”

  Before I knew it, Blyss had Tatum in her arms and the two were hugging and crying. I’d never seen anything more beautiful in my life. I had to get in on the hug and I felt tears stinging my eyes too.

  We were a family in every way and about to add one more!

  That day would’ve been the best ever, if I hadn’t had to leave.

  After we all settled down, Blyss looked at me before she cut her eyes back to Tatum’s. “Tatum, Daddy has to leave after dinner tonight. He has some work to do at the Navy base for the next few days. I’ll be reading you your evening stories, taking you to school, and picking you up until he gets back.”

  The look in Tatum’s eyes will haunt me forever. They clouded over and she grabbed me, throwing her arms around my neck and crying hysterically, “NO! No, my mommy went away for a few days and she never came back. No, Daddy, don’t go!”

  It had never occurred to me that Tatum would react the way she had. I looked at Blyss like she had the key to fix the situation, which she didn’t. Instead, she was crying too. The day had been a rollercoaster. Ups and downs were too close together, and I was left feeling like I was about to puke from it all. “Tatum, baby doll, you don’t have to worry, I’m going to come back.”

  “What if you don’t?” she wailed.

  All I could do
was look at Blyss for some help in making the poor little girl feel safe. Blyss looked at me for a long moment, then patted Tatum on the back. “Let’s not think about things like that, Tatum. I’ll be right here. I’ll always be right here,” Blyss said with loving concern. “You have me too, don’t forget,” she reaffirmed.

  And that’s when I lost my battle to the waterworks. Tears made their escape as my heart felt as if it was about to burst. “I love you, Blyss.” I squeezed Tatum as I held her in my arms. “And I love you, Tatum. I’ll come back to the two of you and the baby. Come hell or high water, I will come back to you, my family. Never doubt my ability to overcome anything to get back to you.”

  Tatum sniffled and looked at me. She wiped her little hands over my cheeks. “Don’t you start cryin’ too, Daddy. Me and Mommy will take care of each other ‘till you get home.”

  “That’s my girl.” I kissed her cheek, then handed her over to Blyss. “I need a little bathroom break. You two know how to work a man over, I tell you what.”

  Pulling myself together had never been so hard to do, but I did it. That night at dinner we told our baby news. We let that settle before I told everyone about having to leave for a few days for work. That ended the meal on a somber note. Blyss and I pulled my parents to the side to let them know about our real marriage, which would come as soon as I got back. They were ecstatic about it, but my leaving put a damper on what would’ve been a more joyous occasion.

  Mom kissed me. “I love you, son. Your life is moving fast. I’m happy for you. And we’ll watch over those you love; you can count on us.”

  She knew I needed to hear that. I couldn’t ask her for more. She just knew. I couldn’t take another round of crying. “Thank you, Mom. I’ll be back before you know it.”

  “You better,” she told me, then let me go and went up the stairs.