Savage SEAL’s Virgin: A Submissives’ Secrets Novel

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Savage SEAL’s Virgin: A Submissives’ Secrets Novel Page 80

by Michelle Love


  Tears cloud my vision as I walk out of the mansion, leaving it behind me for the third time. The ride back to my apartment seems to take forever and as I pull into my parking spot I notice Logan’s car and he’s sitting behind the steering wheel.

  Max

  Finally, I’m on my way home. I hired a private jet to take Kate and her mother and father back to Houston with me. My angel sits next to me, holding my hand in hers. She’s twenty-three and her family is beyond rich. Her father has more money than I do.

  This girl is sweet though. Not like those other rich bitches. Though young, she has more class than any of the others, and she looks at me like she adores me. Already she adores me and eagerly answered yes when I asked her and her family to join me at my place for a week.

  They’re on an extended vacation. She’s already asked me to go back to France with them to visit their home, which I have said yes to. That seems to be all we say to each other is yes.

  The jet is landing and my heart is pounding. I never thought I’d see my home again. In about an hour I’ll be back and I may kiss the front door I longed to see again.

  A car waits for us on the tarmac so I don’t have to see any reporters. My face was plastered all over the papers and I’m sure my ex’s have all seen my angel and how I was staring at her. The last thing I need is for any of them to know I’m home and make life miserable for us.

  Except Lexi, she’d never do that. I wonder how she took the news about me.

  Kate’s family takes pictures out the window as we drive home and seem excited about seeing Texas. I’m going to take them to check out all which is cool about this state. I had Hilda get us tickets to a Dallas Mavericks game in two days. I bet they’ll flip over the tall players.

  My gate comes into view and I am home. I smile at Kate and she squeezes my hand. “My prince is home again. I am so happy for you,” she says.

  I tweak her tiny nose and smile. “Thank you for saving me, angel.”

  As we pull up I see Hilda waiting, and now she’s jumping up and down and running out to me.

  She seems to be happy I made it!

  Alexis

  Logan talked me into coming back to Dallas with him. He made me give up my apartment so I have nowhere to run to anymore. He said if I have an escape I’ll use it and it’s self-destructive.

  Now that I realize how bad Max and I are for each other I can really move on and make things work with Logan. He’s a great guy and any girl would be lucky to have him.

  To be sure I wasn’t pregnant I took one of those early pregnancy tests and it came back negative. I told Logan I’m really not ready to rush into getting pregnant after all. It was dumb of me to do that in the first place. While we haven’t had sex again, we have slept in the same bed.

  I feel really fragile with all the Max stuff and think I need to give myself a lot more time to make decisions about anything. Logan just got home and I meet him at the door with a glass of iced tea. He hands me his keys, I drop them in the basket and hand him his drink then kiss his cheek. It’s a nice little ritual we have.

  “How was your day?” he asks me.

  “Fine, and yours,” I ask. Another little ritual of ours.

  “Fine,” he answers. “What’s for dinner?”

  “I made roasted chicken and potatoes,” I say and make my way to the kitchen to see how it’s coming as he sits down to watch the evening news.

  I can barely hear the television as I pull the chicken out of the oven. A man’s voice says, “Billionaire, Max Lane, has made it home to Houston. In tow was the woman who found him and her parents. Seems like Mr. Lane found him an angel through his ordeal. How can one man be so lucky?”

  I peek around the corner to glimpse a picture someone snapped of them getting into a black limo. Max’s arm is tight around the red-head as they both smile like crazy people.

  I left him! I ran from him! And I almost made him die!

  I turn back to stab a fork into the potatoes to see if they’re done. Logan’s cell phone rings. “Hello,” he says. “Um, okay. Hang on a sec.”

  Logan comes into the kitchen and holds the phone out to me. “It’s for me?” I ask. “Is it Mom?”

  With a shake of his head, he says, “It’s Max.”

  My heart stops and my knees give out. I sit down at the table and hyperventilate. Logan touches my shoulder and I look at him. “What should I do?”

  “Talk to him, Alex. What do you think?”

  He places the phone in my shaking hand and I say, “Max?”

  “Hi, Lexi,” his voice is soft and sweet and makes me melt in an instant.

  “Hi,” I say as tears fill my eyes. “I’m glad to see you made it. I was devastated when I thought you were…” I stop, I can’t say the word.

  “Yeah, I figured you’d be,” he says. “I found my cell and saw you’d called the same night I took off in the chopper. Weird huh?”

  “Yeah, weird.” My heart is in my throat and I’m having the hardest time even thinking.

  “Hilda told me you came over the night I was found. Thanks for doing that, Lex, it was nice of you,” he says then he clears his throat. “Who’s the guy who answered the phone?”

  “You noticed that, did you?” I ask with a smile.

  “I did,” he says. “So you’ve really moved on then?”

  I hesitate because while it seems like I have I’m just not all the way sure. “I think it is best we both do. I saw a picture of you and that demonic lady and it hurt me so bad.” I pause. “Then you fell into a drunken stupor and nearly killed yourself over me.”

  “So you think we’re bad for each other?” he asks.

  My heart pounds and my mouth goes dry. It seems like he’s giving me the chance to try it out with him again. He has that woman there, but still he asks me this. “Yeah, Max, I think we have the ability to hurt each other to a degree that’s unhealthy.”

  “If I asked you to come back, would you?” he asks, and now I know he would dump that chic for me and it makes me think I might be crazy for turning away from him again.

  “Don’t you care for that girl?” I ask.

  “Well, yeah, but I need to be sure you and I don’t have a shot in Hell before I take that step. I haven’t yet, if that makes any difference to you, Lexi. I haven’t kissed her or asked her to be with me or anything like that.”

  “What if I told you I have been with this guy, Logan is his name by the way, like that, Max?” I say. “I mean I promised you I’d never let anyone else have me like you did and I didn’t keep that promise. Does that change how you feel?”

  Moments of silence go by before he says, “I can’t say I’m not hurt, because I am. It took you twenty-six years to let someone that close to you. I thought what we had was special, and you ran off and jumped into bed with another man. Why’d you do that, Lex?”

  “After I saw the picture of you doing to that girl what you had just done to me I felt used. I felt like what we had just done was ugly and you did it with that whack job so it wasn’t special to you at all,” I say then feel terrible for telling him that. “Was I really special to you, Max?”

  “I’m sorry you saw that. I wish I had never done that. Truth be told I wish I had never laid my hands on another woman before you. When I made love to you it was like the first time. It’s never been that special, I promise you.”

  “Thank you, that makes me feel somewhat better,” I say. “But you never answered my question, does that change how you feel about me?”

  “No, I can live with that,” he says and my heart wants to say that I will go back to him, but my mind says we have too much power over each other’s lives to do that. “That’s nice to hear, it really is. We just have too much power to hurt one another, Max, so my answer is no. Move forward with that girl. She’s not a crazy whacko who’s mean is she?”

  “No, she’s really sweet. I’m sure you’d like her,” he says. “Lexi, are you sure about your answer?”

  A pain fills my heart an
d if this much pain can come from a conversation over the phone then what other kinds of pain can he put me through?

  “I’m sure, Max,” I should go now. “I’m really happy you’re alive and well. If this is the girl for you I wish you both all the best.”

  “Good luck with your guy, too, Lexi. I wish you all the best too.” He pauses then says, “Hey, just so you know. I was going to put out a search for your ass. I’m not just calling because I found your missed call or Hilda said you came over. I was going to find you no matter what and see if you wanted to give this thing a shot again.”

  Wow! Am I insane?

  I glance back to see if Logan is anywhere near me, but thankfully he’s giving me privacy, he’s a doll like that. “Max, that’s good to hear, and if we weren’t so dangerous for each other I’d say yes in a heartbeat, but we are. I still love you though, so don’t ever think I don’t.”

  “I love you too, Lexi. Are you sure about this?” he asks again.

  “You’re trying to wear me down aren’t you?” I ask with a giggle.

  “Maybe,” he says. “It’s damn good to hear your voice. Do me a favor and stammer something for me, I miss that. Or maybe you could say some of those funny words for me, you know something like smancy?”

  I laugh and say, “Um.. I .. don’t.. know.. Something like that, you silly goose?”

  “It’s pretty close,” he says. “Hey, I have to know because it’s something I thought a lot about when I was drifting in the ocean. What kind of crazy job do you have now?”

  Suddenly I realize I don’t really have one, but I say, “I clean houses.”

  “So you’re not a professional catfish noodler? Man I got that one wrong,” he says with a laugh.

  “What in the cornbread heck is that, Max?” I ask.

  “Cornbread heck? Good one, Lexi.” He laughs. “Man I miss you, girl!”

  I miss him too and how much fun we had. I find myself peeking back over my shoulder to be sure Logan is nowhere around. “Maybe we could still be friends. You know just talk to each other every now and again.”

  His laugh dies down. “That sounds nice, but I think it would drive me mad. I really love you.”

  He really loves me!

  “Me too,” I say. “I suppose it would be too hard. But I’m going to get a new cell phone and I’ll send you a text so you’ll have my new number. After what happened to you, I always want you to be able to contact me if you want to. If you do find yourself wanting to talk to someone about anything; the accident, your mother, life when you were young, I want you to feel free to call me.”

  “Good, do that,” he says. “Also, don’t hesitate to ask me for anything, I mean anything. I don’t ever want you to go without a thing. Promise me.”

  I’ll never ask him for a thing but I say, “Okay, I promise, Mr. Generous pants.”

  He laughs again, “Ah, you remembered. So I guess I’ll look forward to your text and wish you a good life, Lexi.”

  “Okay, you have one too. Bye now,” I say and end the call.

  I search out Logan and find him outside sitting by the pool tugging on a beer. “How’d that go, Alex?”

  “Good,” I say and hand him back his phone. “I’m going to get my own phone tomorrow. After what happened to him, I want him to have my number. He may need someone to talk to now and again about his ordeal, you know?”

  “And you would do that for him?” he asks with a frown.

  “Yeah, it’s my fault it happened, so yeah I would talk to him if he needed to,” I say and sit on Logan’s lap and wrap my arms around his neck. “He doesn’t have anyone else he talks to, not really.”

  “Did he ask you to get back together with him?” he asks and I sense jealousy in him.

  I nod. “Yeah, but I told him no. We’re just too dangerous for each other, it is better this way. Just friends.”

  “Did you tell him about me?” He takes a long drink of his beer.

  “I did, and he wished us the best of luck.” I kiss his cheek.

  “I see,” he says. “So is dinner ready, cause I’m starving?”

  I smile and jump off his lap. “Come on, I’ll get you fed then we can watch a movie in bed.”

  Suddenly I feel very frisky for some odd reason. “What else can we do while we’re in bed?” he asks as he grabs me by my waist.

  “Well, I bought you some really cool condoms today, so there’s no telling really,” I tell him as I giggle.

  He rolls his eyes. “Condoms, ugh!”

  “Don’t ugh me,” I chastise him. “You want a piece of this action, you’ll wear one from the beginning until the end, mister.”

  Logan picks me up and carries me inside. “Hey, tomorrow don’t make dinner. My boss gave me tickets to the Maverick’s game tomorrow night. So I’m taking you out, Miss Alex.”

  “Wow!” I say. “A real date, finally.”

  We laugh and I find I feel light-hearted for the first time in a long time. I wonder why just hearing Max’s voice has done that for me.

  Am I stupid for not going back to Max?

  Max

  The room is dark and I am totally relaxed for the first time in what seems like an eternity. I talked to Lexi and we have closure.

  Man it feels good!

  I asked her to come back to me and she turned me down, but I kinda thought she would, so I’m not devastated by her answer. The point she made was that we’re dangerous for one another, and maybe she’s right. I did go on a month long drunk that landed me in the Gulf of Mexico for days on end after all, and nearly died.

  Perhaps I overreacted, but it found me the little angel who sleeps down the hall. Though no spark happens when we touch I find her adorable and she is the sweetest thing. Maybe the spark thing is too much, just like Lexi said. The ability to hurt each other like that is a lot to handle after all.

  We’re jetting off to Dallas tomorrow, the four of us. I’ll move much slower with this one. There’s no rush. No reason to think she’s going to run off if I take my time and get to know her. She is young, maybe too young, and I’m not sure how innocent she is, but she seems like she is. I’d hate to hurt her after all she’s done for me.

  That French accent is adorable. But the truth is I don’t find her sexy, just cute, and adorable. Is sexy something you need to think about for a girlfriend?

  I think I’ll Google that and see what the masses have to say on the subject.

  Alexis

  The noise the fans make at this basketball game is nuts. I lean close to Logan and scream in his ear, “I gotta pee!”

  He gives me a nod and grabs a twenty dollar bill from his pocket and yells back at me, “Get us a couple more beers, will ya?”

  I nod and take the money and make my way out of bleachers and to the restroom. Shoving the money in my pocket as I weave through the way too loud crowd. Three beers we’ve drunk and I’m about to burst.

  I get into the restroom and glory to the highest there is one stall unoccupied. The relief I feel as I let all that beer back out is phenomenal. I wash my hands, run my fingers through my hair and apply a little pink lipstick. I can’t do my make-up like Cake did, but I’m figuring it out. And curling my hair wasn’t that hard to figure out so I am managing to look a lot better than my nerdy days.

  With a slight skip, I leave the women’s restroom to go to the long line at the beer stand to refill my bladder with the golden liquid. I look down as I leave the area to fiddle with the cellphone in my back pocket, making sure I didn’t drop it in the toilet.

  Boom! I ran into someone!

  “Sorry, I wasn’t looking,” I hear and look up to find I’m smack up against Max’s broad chest. “Lexi?”

  “Max!” I shout.

  His arms run around me and he pulls me to the side and my back hits the wall. His lips are on mine before I know what’s happening, but I love it and feel as if I’m flying.

  I throw my arms around him and groan as his tongue finds mine. It’s not enough, I’m not close en
ough, so I wrap my legs around his waist and he melts into me. He’s rock hard against me and I’m aching for him. His hand goes to my breast and my hands tangle in his hair.

  A man’s voice comes out of nowhere, “Take that shit outside!”

  Max’s mouth leaves mine and I almost cry. “Come with me,” he says as he takes my hand and leads me away from the crowd.

  I don’t care where he takes me as long as he takes me. I move with him, our bodies touch constantly and I am hot as Hades on a Sunday. A door he opens and we’re alone in a small room. He turns back to me, his eyes dark and I bite at my lip then his lips are back on mine. Our arms are wrapped around each other and I fear I may burst if I don’t get my body closer to his.

  His lips leave mine and move down my cheek to my neck where he bites at me and sucks at my flesh. My knees give out and he holds me tight. His words are like embers on my ear, “I want you.”

  I pull back and look at him. My hands press against his cheeks. “I never thought I’d see you again.” My heart beats like never before. My body cries for his and I can’t stop it. “I’m yours.”

  A smile covers his caramel lips and his dark lashes fall over his deep green eyes. My shirt he unbuttons as I unbutton his. I pull his open, reveling his crazy abs and pecs. I try to kiss them, but he has my shirt and bra off and his mouth on my breast, which brings me to my knees. He comes with me and pushes my back to the floor.

  Fire courses through my veins and I could literally die right now and I’d be so happy. I kick my sneakers off and move my hands to unbutton his jeans. As I unleash his beast and run my hand over the rock hardness of it, I let out another loud groan. “Oh, for Pete’s sake it’s harder than before,” I whisper to myself.

  His body shudders over mine as he chuckles. I find it sexy as all get out and stroke his long, hard dick.

 

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