Savage SEAL’s Virgin: A Submissives’ Secrets Novel

by Michelle Love

  Marcos smiles and says, “His name is Max Lane, and he didn’t want to be a model anymore. He’s a billionaire and never needed to do it anyway.”

  I kick him under the table. “Stop giving them so much information.”

  The girl in the yellow T-shirt frowns. “I’m really sorry you think we’re being so intrusive. I promise we don’t know any more than is already out there about you, Alexis. Right down to the kidnapping.”

  “I was unaware people knew of that,” I say.

  Ross puts his arm around my shoulders and hugs me. “It was on the news, sweetheart. Everyone knows everything about all of us.” He moves the paper to me and hands me the pen. “Here, you sign in the middle of mine and Marcos’s names, just like you’re in the middle in all the pictures.”

  “So, you are all together. How does your wife fit in?” one of the women asks Marcos.

  He laughs. “We aren’t really together. It’s just pictures. I’m a happily married first time father and these two are single.”

  The women look at me and Ross as he still has his arm around me. One asks, “Do you think you two will ever get together for real? I mean, you look great together and the pictures show you have a lot of chemistry.”

  Ross gives my shoulders a squeeze. “If she’d have me, I would love to start seeing, Lexi.”

  “Ross, please!” I shrug his arm off me. “What have I told you about that?”

  The woman in green gives me the craziest look. “You mean you don’t want to hook-up with this gorgeous man?”

  “I don’t want to hook-up with anyone, not that it’s any of your business. Ross is a fantastic man, don’t get me wrong. Any woman would be lucky to have him. I work with two of the best men I know, but I don’t want to be in a relationship. Love isn’t what I want in my life. It’s only served to mess it up.”

  I sign my name under Ross’s and push the paper to Marcos. He grabs the pen and signs the paper then hands it back to the girl in yellow. She smiles. “Would it be possible for us to get a selfie with you three?”

  I shake my head, but Ross has my hand and is pulling me out of the booth as Marcos gets up and I find I’m in the middle of them as they both kiss my cheeks and the two girls stand in front of us and take a selfie.

  Fantastic! I can see this going viral!

  “Thanks,” they say as they walk away.

  “Can we eat now?” I ask as I slide back into the booth.

  Marcos smiles at me. “You really should give Ross a chance, Lex.”

  Ross takes a forkful of salad and leans his shoulder against mine. “You really should.”

  “I’m not quite the nympho I play on book covers. I’m sure you’d be disappointed in me, Ross,” I say then go ahead and tell him the truth. “Plus, I’m still hung up on Max and I’d go back to him with a snap of his fingers.”

  “Really?” Marcos asks. “After all that’s happened, you’d go back?”

  I nod. “I think about him every day and especially at night. If he ever gets out of the funk he’s got in and looks me up, I’d marry him in an instant, if he asked me again.”

  “You should think more of yourself than that, Lexi,” Ross says with a bit of a snip to his tone. “The man dumped you pretty harshly from what you’ve told us about the whole thing.”

  “He had his reasons I suppose. His childhood was rough and after all I pulled he was right to have done it. I just hope one day he can really forgive me for my stupidity. See, that’s why I don’t want my boobs on the cover of a book. He might see it and think a whole lot less of me.”

  Ross smiles and says, “Look, Marcos and I can stand behind you about this. I’m sure you’ll have to go topless and wear whatever she tells you to, but we can keep the goods out of sight.”

  I look up at him and give him a smile. “That’s why I like working with you two. You always have my back.”

  Marcos grabs up the empty salad bowls and takes them to the trash. “Come on, let’s get back and get naked, so to speak, and get this shoot done so I can go home and play with my baby girl.”

  I allow the men to take my hands and we walk back to a place where I know I’ll be uncomfortable, but at least I have friends to help me get through it all.

  Max

  Sissy lies in the hospital bed and I sit in a chair in the room I made for her on the first floor. A nurse with long, black hair wipes at her thin skin with a wet cloth. “Don’t you have someone you’d like to be with you when the time comes, Mr. Lane?”

  I shake my head. “I need to do this alone, anyway.”

  “This isn’t a thing people should go through alone. If you have someone who has been special to you, you should give them a call and let them know what’s happening.” The nurse’s hands run over my mother’s nearly gone hair. “I’m sure in her prime, your mother was a real beauty.”

  “The woman I remember from when I was ten years old, was pretty. I can’t say I recognize who she became.” I sit up and look at my mother as she looks peaceful, but not like the woman I remembered as a kid.

  The nurse places the cloth in a bag and looks at me before she leaves the room. “Mr. Lane, I’ve been a hospice nurse for twenty-four years and believe me when I say you need to come to terms with your life with your mother. You need to come to terms about your life and where you’re going with it.” She walks out the door but turns around. “You need more in your life than what you have now. Put the past where it belongs, Mr. Lane.”

  As the door closes something in me breaks and I start crying. “Why did this have to happen, Momma?”

  I fall on my knees beside her bed and take her nearly lifeless hand in mine. “Why did you chose drugs over me? Was I bad? Was taking care of me so hard?”

  My lips touch her cool hand, I take in a deep breath. “Momma, should I forgive you?”

  My head falls on the side of the bed as I lose all the strength in my body. “I’ve hated you for so damn long. It seems like forever. You killed my child, Momma. You took that away from me and in the process I turned into a hard man who threw away a love I never knew I could find.”

  My mother’s fingers move against my hand and I look up to see her eyes are open. It’s the first time since they brought her here. “Randy?” she asks.

  I lean over her so she can see me. “I’m here, I’m here, Momma.”

  “Why are you cryin’ son?” Her pale blue eyes glisten.

  “Because I’m sorry. I’m so sorry I judged you so harshly. I’m so sorry I wasn’t more understanding. I should’ve tried to find you when I made my billions, instead I changed my name, hoping you’d never find me.” My sobs choke me.

  Her grip on my hand tightens. “Randy, I don’t blame you, son. I did awful things in my life and the most awful things I did were to you. I hope the good Lord will forgive me for what I’ve done to you. But if he doesn’t and I have to face the Devil then I deserve whatever punishment I get. I love you son and what I did was wrong. If I could go back to the first time I ever took a drug, I’d make sure I walked away from that person who offered them to me. And I heard you asking if you were bad and the answer is no. You were a wonderful blessing, and I didn’t deserve you.”

  My body shakes with the words she’s telling me. “Mom, you deserve to go to Heaven, don’t think you don’t. This isn’t all your fault. I left you all alone in this world and I had plenty of money to help you many years ago. With my help you might be fine right now, but I turned my back on you.”

  With a weak shake of her head, she says, “Don’t you do that to yourself, son. I made my bed and now I have to lie in it. None of this is your fault. Where is that beautiful girl who was here last time?”

  “I sent her away,” I say with a whimper. “She was right about me and I sent her away.”

  “What do you mean?” she asks.

  “She was worried about marrying me and having children with me because of how I’ve been about you. You know, turning my back on you not once, but twice. She had fears I might do t
he same thing to our children if they ever found themselves with an addiction or something like that. I told her we would raise them so that never happens, but it wasn’t enough for her, and I’m beginning to understand why now.”

  “You sent her away?” her words weak. “Fix it, son.”

  “I should, shouldn’t I?”

  Her hand tightens on mine then her eyes close as she mumbles, “Fix it if you can, before it’s too late and she finds another man.”

  I hold my mother’s hand until her grip relaxes and I know she’s fallen asleep. With a heavy sigh I leave her room and make my way to find Hilda and see what she thinks about things.

  I wipe my eyes with the back of my hand as I walk into the kitchen. Hilda has the television on as she chops vegetables. I look up at the television screen and I see Lexi and a man has her wrapped in his arms. I stare at the television as the picture turns to one of her, me, and Marcos. It’s one we did when we all modeled together. The reporter for the crap celebrity news show says, “Alexis Mathews may have moved on from hunky billionaire, Max Lane, to gorgeous fellow model, Ross Stevens. It seems Ross has taken the place in the threesome that was Marcos Rios, Alexis Mathews, and Max Lane who started making racy ads earlier this year.” The reporter pauses while the picture changes to one of Marcos, the other man, and Lexi as she looks to be naked between them on a bed on some book cover. “The racy threesome has reportedly been hanging out together and a couple of lucky women managed to get a selfie with the three hotties in a food court in Dallas as they all dined together in a cozy little booth where Ross kept his arm around the gorgeous, Alexis. Good luck you three!”

  Hilda looks at me and says, “You can’t believe that tabloid television, Max. If you want to know the truth all you have to do is call her and you know that.”

  “Funny thing is I was just about to talk to you about calling her, but that just answered my question. She’s moved on and I’ll not be dragging her back to my nightmare.”

  She’s better off without me.

  Alexis

  Red is the color I see as I watch the latest edition of the show that lies about celebrities. Ross and Marcos watch in horror with me, once it’s over Marcos grabs his cell to call Kate to make sure she knows those are all lies.

  I throw my arms up. “See, I told you not to talk to those women. Everyone is so nosy these days and they don’t care if they have their stories straight or not. Now people will look at me like I’m a piece of trash, sleeping with two men, when I’m not even sleeping with one.”

  “Now, Lexi, don’t go getting upset. Everyone who matters knows the truth.” Ross’s arm goes around my waist and he pulls me to his chest in a tight hug. “Come on, let’s go get something to drink and go back to my place. We can watch something funny and get your mind off all this. It’s really nothing anyway.”

  “You like it! I can tell.” I pull away, but he won’t let me go.

  “Well, I have to admit, there’s worse people to be linked with.” His smile is genuine and I want to slap it off his face.

  “You don’t seem to understand me, Ross. While it might not hurt your reputation as a man, it hurts mine as a woman. And if Max see’s this, which he might, it’ll tell him I’ve moved on, which I haven’t.”

  “But you should,” he says as he pulls me along with him out the door and towards his car.

  “That’s not your call,” I say and wish he’d let me go. “I love him and I don’t want you to think anything is going to happen between you and me.”

  His deep blue eyes roll. “I don’t, I just think you should loosen up about this tabloid thing, that’s all. Now come on let’s get drunk and cry on each other’s shoulders about how hard our lives are.” He laughs and opens his car door and I slip into the seat of luxurious leather and frown at how things are.

  Ross gets in the driver’s seat just as my cell phone goes off and I pull it out of my purse to find Max’s name blinking at me. “It’s him! After almost five months, it’s him!”

  Ross takes my phone and rejects the call. “Make him work for it, sweetie, trust me, he’ll call back and after the third time you reject it, he’ll come find you.”

  “Do you really think so, Ross?” I ask with high hopes. “Do you know how happy that would make me?”

  “By the way your face lit up, I’d say, real happy.” He gives me his best smile. “I know you’re telling me the truth now, Lex. I can see it all over your body how much you miss him. Trust me, send the next two calls straight to voice mail and he’ll figure out how much you mean to him.”

  God, I hope he’s right!

  Max

  I can’t believe she sent my call to voicemail. I was so shocked I didn’t even leave a message. It’s all too clear now that she didn’t answer, she and that model guy have something going on. I bet they’re together right now and he told her not to answer my call. Perhaps he’d be right to do that. It wasn’t my intention to call her. My fingers seemed to do the thinking as I told myself it was for the best she moves on, but my hand took the cell phone from my back pocket and found her name and pushed the button.

  Now I know though and that’s all I needed was some type of evidence she’s moved on. I stand outside my mother’s room and suddenly the slow but steady beeps her heart monitor has been making go into one long beep.

  I open the door and go to her side, placing my hand on her chest, finding nothing pounding under my hand. As tears fill my eyes, I place my head on her chest and give her the last hug I ever will. “Momma, I love you. May you finally find the peace you so desperately sought after here on Earth with our Lord in Heaven. Please take good care of her, Lord, she deserves that.”

  Hilda comes into the room and pats my back as I let myself cry like I never have before, letting the tears cleanse my soul and hopefully bringing me out of this and to the man I know I can be.

  Alexis

  Ross and I drink some silly drink he made us with vodka and cherries. We sit on his sofa, watching a very old Saturday Night Live episode with Chevy Chase and laugh like hyenas. A light emits from my cell phone which sits on the coffee table in front of me.

  Ross picks it up and rejects the call. “Oh, look at that! It’s only been three hours since the first call and already another. You should get ready to see him tomorrow I bet.”

  “Oh my God! Do you really think so, Ross?” I ask as I pull my feet up underneath me, nearly ready to spring off the sofa and jump around.

  Another light shines from my phone and Ross picks it up. “He’s sent you a text.” He hands it to me then pulls it back real quick. “No, I know you’ll answer him right back and then it’ll be ruined. Don’t talk to him until he comes to you, make him sweat it out. Don’t worry, he’ll be here before you know it. He must be figuring out he really does love you.”

  My head goes into the clouds and my heart feels light for the first time in months. “I should go home,” I say.

  “Uh, uh,” Ross says as he puts his arm around my shoulders. “You’re staying right here. I know you and you’ll end up answering his call or calling him back. You’re staying right here with me.”

  “I hope you’re right and this doesn’t blow up in my face.” I lean back and fight the urge to grab my phone from him.

  Max

  After a phone call this morning to Lexi that went straight to voicemail for the third damn time, I called Kate and got her address in Dallas. I have to go see her to give her a piece of my mind about not answering one of the most important phone calls I’ve ever made.

  She could’ve at least answered my text about my mother’s death. It’s not like Lexi to be cold like this. If nothing else, she should want to know about Sissy’s passing, whether she’s moved on from me or not.

  It is noon when I pull up to her apartment and her car is parked in front of apartment 105. I march straight up to the door and ring the bell, then feel that isn’t enough so I pound on the door. “Lexi, God damn it! Open this door!”

  I hear the
sliding of the chain on the door then it opens and there she stands wearing shorts and a white T-shirt and she looks so damn beautiful I’m at a loss for words. I pick her up into my arms and walk inside, kicking the door closed behind us.

  My mouth lands on hers as I place her back on the ground and she parts her lips, letting my tongue rush in and roll around with hers. My heart beats like a base drum in my chest and I run one hand to tangle in her hair. My other hand runs down and takes her legs, picking her up, never letting our lips part.

  I open my eyes to find out where the sofa is and make my way to it. Sitting down as I hold her on my lap. Finally, I pull my mouth from hers and our foreheads touch as we each catch our breath. “Why didn’t you answer my calls, especially after I sent you the text about Sissy?”

  She pulls back and looks at me. “What about your mother?”

  “You didn’t even bother to read my text, Lexi?” Her head shakes and I can’t believe it. I pick her up and sit her next to me then stand up and look down at her. “How could you not read my text? How could you not answer my calls? After all we’ve been through, how, answer me?”

  “Ross told me if I didn’t then you would show up and he was right.” Her eyes sparkle like she’s done something brilliant.

  “Ross? That fucker you’re with now?”

  “I’m not with him. That stuff on T.V. isn’t accurate. I model with him and we’re friends just like me and Marcos are, that’s all. He was right though, you have to admit that.”

  “My mother died yesterday. A few hours after I called you the first time.”

  Her face goes pale, and she stands up and wraps her arms around me. “My God! I’m so sorry, Max. What happened to her?”

  I nuzzle her cheek. “She got sent home with stage four lung cancer and a brain tumor and it took her only about three weeks to succumb to it. I had her at my place and she was kept comfortable until the very end. I told her I loved her and that I was sorry for what I’d done to her, turning my back on her twice.”