Instinctual (Rise of the Iliri Book 2)

by Auryn Hadley

  "It sure does na make me unhappy," he said, looking down at her.

  "But is it enough?"

  He carefully pulled away. "I dunno, Sal. Yes? Na really?"

  "Just tell me the truth, Jase."

  "I am." He motioned at the world beyond the stone tower. "Out there, things are different. In here, for a moment, I get ya all ta myself. That makes me happy. When we hunt, I can feel it in the link, ya know? Yer more mine than ya are theirs."

  "What do you mean?"

  "Think about it. Can ya feel LT as clear as me?"

  She shook her head. "No, he's always an anger at the back of my mind. You? I can feel every breath you take. Is that what you mean?"

  Cyno nodded. "Yeh. Zep said it's na the same for him. Ya are strong, but ya make them all clearer to him."

  "You're changing the subject, aren't ya?"

  "Nah," he chuckled. "I'm sayin' that's what makes me happy. That feeling of ya with me."

  "Is it enough?" she asked him.

  "Is it enough fer ya?"

  "I don't think so. I don't know what I want, Jase, but this thing we have? We kill, we fuck, then we act like it never happened? On our down time, I feel like I'm closer to Zep than I am to you."

  "And LT," he added.

  She stepped back. "Am I going to have to choose between you and him?"

  "Maast, Sal, no."

  "Then what's the deal? You tell me it's normal for me to feel like this, and then you say something like that." She looked up at him, her annoyance warring with confusion on her face, but her ears were forward waiting for his answer.

  "I do na know the words, Sal," he told her.

  "Try."

  "Ok, c'mere." He headed toward the ancient stairs and sat, tilting his head to the spot beside him. Sal sank to the stone, waiting. Cyno sighed deeply, nodding to himself before he spoke. "They allus said I was too feral ta be loved. Even my amma. She tried ta raise me ta be a good second or third man, never the first. All my life, I've been told that I need ta respect my woman's right to choose her lovers and ta be happy with anything I get. I think a bit of it stuck."

  "So that's why you're upset with Blaec?"

  "Jealous," he said. "I do na mind. That sounds wrong, but I do na dislike that ya love him. I just wish it was me. He's good for ya, though."

  "What does it mean to be the second man?" She asked him timidly.

  "What does it mean ta be the first man?" he asked back. "It's different fer everyone."

  "What does it mean to you?"

  He clenched his jaw for a moment, then answered. "I used ta think it meant I was na good enough fer someone ta love."

  "And now?"

  "Now, it kinda does na matter. Being yer second man would mean that I at least had that much of ya." He grabbed her hand and turned, looking at her. "Ya should know, our kind does na tend ta change our minds."

  "Then let’s take this one step at a time. Take me home, Jase."

  He smiled and nodded. "Yeh, yer kinda out a horse I hear, and ya fit behind me well enough on Raven. Yeh, I'll give ya a ride back ta Prin."

  He stood and offered her a hand up, but Sal wrapped her arms around his neck. She pulled him down and kissed him, her fingers pressing into the back of his head, holding him close. "I don't mean Prin, Jase. Take me back to your rooms. Blaec can wait. Everyone keeps saying it's my choice, after all."

  "Ya sure?"

  "Yeah." This decision finally felt right. "If I don't make you, it will never happen. There's something between us and I want to see what it is."

  Chapter 23

  They rode into the compound just as the sun was setting. Cessa walked placidly beside Raven, Rax prancing at her hip, taking all of Zep's attention. Sal closed her eyes, her arms around Cyno's chest, and listened to the sounds of her temporary home. Weapons clashed in the distance, the wooden crack of practice blades hitting each other, and the soft voices of exhausted men came from everywhere.

  Raven came to a halt and Sal peeled herself away from Cyno's body, every muscle tired. The rest of the Blades weren't much better. The fight had been hard, and they had little sleep the night before. She slipped from the mare's back, staggering when her feet found the ground, and turned to look for Blaec. Men looked down at them from the railing, the faces unfamiliar, and few seemed friendly.

  A large hand grabbed her arm, the skin rough and cool, like a human's. She pressed her ears against her head, and spun, her hands reaching for the blades strapped to her waist. She hit him hard. Together they fell to the ground, one of Sal's knives against the inside of his thigh, the other above his heart. Instinctually, her teeth rested lightly against his throat and a warning rumbled in her throat.

  "Sal!" Blaec yelled. "Back the fuck off the General."

  Her tired mind finally placed his scent. Ran Sturmgren lay sprawled in the dirt of the courtyard, his eyes wide, but relaxed. When she pulled away, her ears drooped in shame, but he laughed. General Sturmgren held up his hand to her, giving her the chance to help him up.

  "I'm sorry, sir," Sal muttered.

  "I, of all people, should know better, Sal. Fresh in from combat and I didn't say a thing first? I was asking for it."

  She looked at the ground, unable to meet his eyes. "I should have been more aware, sir. You just felt like a human."

  "I kinda am. Let's try this again?" He dusted off his breeches, and nodded, taking one step back. "Salryc Luxx, congratulations!" he said cheerfully, before patting her shoulder.

  Sal couldn't help it; she giggled. Nodding, she said, "Yeah, that works. Good to see you again, General."

  "Not even going to ask why I'm congratulating you?"

  "Because we won?"

  Ran shook his head, his smile growing bigger. He leaned close, and barely whispered, "Don't kill me," then he grinned and looked around at the faces watching them. "Nope. Wanted to be the first to say it to you."

  "Why?"

  He held up his hand, his fist closed around something. "Because times are changing, my friend."

  Sal's head tilted to the side, her ears locked on his fist, well aware that Ran Sturmgren was making a rather public display. Slowly, his fingers opened, revealing two simple black resin lines. On the back of each, clasps showed they were meant to be pinned.

  "Lieutenant Salryc Luxx, Second Officer of the Black Blades, you are out of uniform."

  She glanced down at her bloody and tattered fatigues, her shirt tied around her waist. "Ya think? It's hot as fuck out here, sir."

  "You are tired," he teased, "Lieutenant."

  Sal's eyes widened and her pupils constricted. Her ears flicked forward then back, and she shook her head in denial, but a smile was trying to take control of her face. "Sir?"

  "Give me back the damned chevrons, girl. Take the bars." He grabbed her hand and placed them in it.

  Even exhausted, she managed to work the old insignia from her shirt and replaced them with the new ones, her smile growing bigger, her teeth easily visible. "They're black!" she said, pleased.

  "I had them made for you, Sal. First iliri ever to make Lieutenant, and only what? A month since I made you Sergeant?"

  "But why, sir?"

  "I said 'Sal' or did you miss that?"

  She ducked her head and nodded. "Are you off duty, sir?"

  "I am, technically. As much as a General can be. Why?"

  Sal wrapped her arms around his waist, her head pressed against his chest in the most human gesture she could think of. "Thank you, Ran. I'm sorry about the dirt. I love the bars."

  He patted her back gently, like he would a daughter's. "You're trying to embarrass an old man? Let me go, little one. I have something to give to LT."

  She nodded and stepped back, letting Ran move away from her. Cyno grabbed the shirt at her waist and looked at the bars. He tilted them, the light playing on the crossed blades pressed into the surface.

  "Nice," he said appreciatively.

  "Shocking," she countered.

  "Hey, LT!" Ran yelled, h
olding up a small package. "Got that thing you asked for."

  On the other side of his horse, Blaec held up his hands and Ran tossed the package over. Blaec opened it and nodded then looked at the men around him. "Arctic!"

  "Yeah?"

  "Sorry it took so long, had to get them made," he said, throwing the box at the First Officer. "Congratulations, Captain."

  "Serious as fuck, LT?" Arctic asked.

  "Look at them first, dumb-ass," Blaec teased.

  Arctic opened the box and his smile slipped away. His eyes widened, and he glanced up at Blaec. "Thank you, LT. Always a pleasure, sir."

  "Not sure when we're getting another promotion," Blaec said as he patted Arctic's shoulder, "so figured these should be something you'd like to keep around."

  "I take it they aren't standard-issue?" Shift asked.

  "No," Arctic said. "Oh fuck no."

  "Well?" Shift said, "You gonna try them on, or keep us all waiting?"

  Blaec grabbed the box and removed Arctic's old chevrons from his shoulder, replacing it with the Captain's ring. He moved to the other side and the Blades moved closer. Each ring was a black circle edged in white, with a carefully sculpted pair of crossed blades through the center, one black, one white.

  Zep reached up and tilted the insignia, looking at it carefully. "Don't get too attached, man," he said. "As fast as the three of you are moving up, these will be Sal's soon."

  Arctic laughed. "Guess I should make sure I get LT a set of knots I can live with?"

  Blaec thought about that and nodded. "I could handle wreaths on my shoulder instead of knots." He glanced over at Ran. "Who knows, maybe even stars one day."

  "Dream fuckin' on," Zep said. "Seriously, though, congrats to all of you. You deserve it."

  The men began to move away, leading their horses slowly to the barn. Sal moved to get Rax, but Tilso was there, his head bent with Zep, looking over her friend's stallion. She heard a polite cough behind her, and flicked an ear.

  "I know you're there now. You're safe," she said, turning to the General.

  "You'll get orders soon," Ran said. "I just passed them to LT. They're from Parliament."

  "Yes, sir," she said.

  "Listen carefully, Lieutenant. This is first level clearance. Do you understand?"

  "Yes, sir."

  "Read those orders twice. Think like a fucking iliri, get me?"

  She nodded, aware of the intensity of his gaze.

  "Sal, our intel's weak. We're going to have to take your word for it. Remember the talk we had?" She nodded again, and he continued. "Don't forget what I said. I won't just get out of the way. Keep this shit clean and keep it tight, but read those damned orders like a Black Blade."

  "When will I get them?"

  "Officially, tomorrow morning. I'll have offices in the south wing of the compound. Come see me with any questions you have."

  "Yes, sir."

  "Your timing with this little escapade today worked out, but your promotion is preemptive for your next mission. In one week, Corporal Cynortas will report to you. Do you understand what I'm saying?"

  "Yes, sir. I need to get my affairs in order before then."

  "Exactly. All of this is first level clearance only. Make sure that's known."

  Sal cocked her head at him quickly, then nodded.

  "I'm human, Sal. I'm not stupid. I know why the Black Widows went after Arctic. I don't know what you're doing, but I know there's something. There's rumors of magic in the Black Blades."

  Sal laughed. "That's insane, sir. I would think that of all people, the former leader of Lightning Brigade would know better." She brushed her hair back, her pinky lifted just higher than the other fingers, and caught his eye.

  Ran smiled, recognizing the hand sign he'd created for "almost there". "You know them all?"

  Sal nodded. "We're taught all the elites communications in the first month. Yes, we can mix and match, too."

  "Good to know." He grinned, his hand asking her if she was leaving something out.

  "But the bars mean a lot. Did you design those, or did LT?" Sal tapped her shoulder with two fingers to tell him she was.

  "I did. I hope that's not offensive."

  "No," Sal assured him. "It's kind. As we'd say, Ran, it matters."

  "Well, I'm glad you like them. You've impressed me. I expect you're going to keep impressing me, if the stories are true."

  She looked at the far wall, watching a soldier heading toward the barracks. "I'm not sure, sir. The stories I mean. I'm going to try to be the best damned soldier I can, though."

  Ran nodded, his eyes roaming around the area just like hers. They seemed to be alone, but that wasn't always the case in a military base. He scratched at his neck, then tapped his jugular once. Her ear flicked toward him recognizing the hand signal. She checked on that soldier again, inhaled, then nodded.

  "Yeah, there's no one within hearing. Only two are watching us."

  He chuckled and shook his head, amused. "Useful. Do you know about the fourth load?"

  "Yes, sir. We'll get it, don't worry."

  "Good. It just got moved to first level clearance. I don't know what shit is going on in Prin, but I think the politicians missed your clearance increase in your last round of promotions. What do you need from me?"

  "The 112th and Devil Dogs have our back, Ran. Azure and Star Fall, not as much."

  "You think that's how this is going?"

  Sal nodded. "The last load's running slower, which is tactically smart but gives the politicians time to play games. They want to let us fail then give a human unit the chance to pick up the pieces. There's also questions about military protocols in the Blades."

  "Shit," Ran whispered. "You have eyes on you?"

  "We probably just slipped up somewhere. It's covered." Sal sighed. "Granted, these orders are going to make things a lot more complicated, but I can work around it."

  "You ever hear of what the elites call 'Blaec's Rules'?"

  "No," she admitted.

  Ran grinned. "Elites bend the rules to suit them, but rarely break them. That's what it means."

  "Then we're about to play in Blaec's rules. Cyno's going to get a bit of discipline, but all the rumors are going to go away, I think. If you ever get a chance, tell Captain Tolan the Blades owe him one."

  "I will," he promised, then patted her on the shoulder. "You're a mess, you know that?"

  "I do, but the only bathing facilities here are communal. I'd rather not have quite so many eyes analyzing my lack of pigment."

  "You're not in the officer's wing?"

  "Not officially. That's the slip."

  "Well, I am. C'mon girl, you can use my bath." He grinned. "And let them talk. It'll do my reputation some good."

  Chapter 24

  Sal tapped at the door, clean blacks in her hand and a towel over her shoulder. Ran opened it and moved aside to let her enter. Down the hall, another door clicked closed.

  "I think you just gave LT plausible deniability," she said.

  "Good. That's what I was hoping. Bath's off the sleeping chamber, but you probably know that."

  She flashed him a sharp grin and nodded before making her way into his bathing chamber. Ran relaxed back into his chair and picked up a book, listening as the water flowed in the other room. Her nickname of "demon" seemed to fit her well, he thought. She was just a slip of a thing, and as mercurial as any woman he'd met, but there was something about her. Salryc Luxx rarely asked for anything, he realized. She accepted favors with grace and gave back twice as much as she was ever offered, but she never asked. Kinda like Blaec.

  He turned the page, well aware that he'd read none of it, but it covered the fact that his mind was working too hard. Sal had only been in the Blades for eight months now, and she'd risen from Private First Class to Lieutenant. While he'd never sent out such a green soldier before, if anyone could succeed, it would be her. Ran sighed and flipped another page.

  "You should at least track with you
r eyes if you're going to simply pretend to read," she said from the bedroom.

  "Didn't know it would matter. I'm just going through the motions. It's calming." Ran looked up, then back down when he realized she stood there in nothing more than the towel. "Get dressed before you give an old man a heart attack."

  Sal giggled and moved behind the door, talking loud enough that he could still hear. "We both know you've seen your fair share of soldiers, General. Want to let me know why you smell like fear?"

  "It's a long list, Sal."

  "I'm off duty," she said back. "Cyno and Blaec have things to work out, and it won't be until tomorrow evening before the ore's back. I've got time."

  "You decide I'm not a threat or something?"

  She stepped around the corner into the main room – dressed, Ran was pleased to see – and looked at him. "You want the honest answer, or the polite one?"

  "The honest answer."

  "Mostly. I think your intentions are good but you're too damned human to understand half of what we're playing with. You're learning fast, though, and that makes me willing to try."

  He nodded. "There's a bottle in there somewhere. It's not your stuff, but you're going to want it. Get it, and sit down."

  She shrugged and walked across the room, grabbing the bottle and two glasses as she passed. First, she offered him one and poured, then filled another halfway for herself. Ran watched her take a timid sip, flick her ears back at the taste, then sink into the chair across from him, pulling her feet under her. Like this, he'd never expect her to be a killer, but he knew better.

  "I've been ordered to send you to Anglia. Blaec's known about this for a while, but it was never confirmed. Parliament demands that I send you. Blaec requested that I include Cyno. Said the Blades work as a team or they're ineffective."

  Sal nodded.

  "We both know that's only part true."

  She nodded again.

  "That's why I got you two more Blades. This is a long embed, Sal. Year, maybe more?"

  "What's the mission?"

  Ran sighed deeply and took a gulp of the scotch. "Replace the Anglian King with one favorable to the Conglomerate."