Red Hot

by K. A. Merikan

  “Do what?” Red Jack lit the cigarette, and then put it between Loki’s lips. They quivered at the touch, but Loki took a drag the moment Red Jack let go of the cigarette.

  “Helping me with the bucket list,” he said, blowing out the smoke.

  “Maybe I should make one of my own.” Red Jack winked at a girl who looked his way as she walked by. “I think I’d start with an orgy. Oh, wait, I’ve already done that.”

  Loki looked at her too, but his gaze eventually settled back on Red Jack. “If you knew you had three months to live. What would you put on your bucket list?” he asked, slowly moving toward the entrance of the club and urging Red Jack to follow with a gesture.

  Red Jack frowned, pondering the question. Three months meant no consequences. Even if he did something really bad, his jail time would be cut short. He lit himself a cigarette to have more time to think. Funnily enough, ‘fuck Lucy’ wasn’t really that important in that context. “I’d wanna do something other people would remember. I don’t know what though. Maybe do something that would make my mom hate my guts a little less.”

  “What did you do to her?”

  Red Jack bristled up immediately. “I didn’t do shit. I’m just not the perfect sonny boy she wanted. Doesn’t matter, she’s got five other kids to make up for me.”

  “That sucks... I think you’ve made good for yourself,” said Loki, walking next to Red Jack. “You’ve got money, you’re popular, you’ve got your friends...”

  Red Jack took another drag of smoke and smiled. Yeah, he did. It all worked out in the end. It was nice to hear that someone else noticed. “I’ve got my new brothers. For me, they’re more important than blood.”

  “Blood means shit,” growled Loki. “I haven’t spoken to my family for years, and I don’t want to. Out of sight, out of mind.”

  “So, are you, like… alone?”

  Loki stopped so abruptly someone walking behind them cursed, forced to stop, and only walked past a few seconds later, but Loki didn’t seem to even notice. “Yes. I just have you.”

  Red Jack went silent, unsure what to think. Loki hadn’t known him for that long. How could he depend on Red Jack doing shit for him? He shook his head. “You’re funny.”

  “You think?”

  “Yeah, hilarious. Now go in.” He pushed Loki forward and fumbled in his pocket for the gig tickets. He looked around, seeking an opening he could use to push forward, but his eyes settled on a girl staring their way. He was sure it was him she was watching at first but as he followed her gaze, it became clear that it was Loki she was ogling. He grumbled beneath his breath and stepped forward, making sure she couldn’t see Loki anymore. She blinked and quickly looked away, covering herself with pastel-streaked hair.

  The closer they came to the entrance, the thicker the crowd became, but at least no one was pushing hard to get in. The supporting band hadn’t even started playing so there was plenty of time for weed and some drinks before the main act, and Red Jack was kind of happy he was here. It had been ages since he’d been to a gig this big. And with Loki by his side, he was bound to have a great time. Maybe even score with a girl. Loki didn’t need to know.

  Chapter 12

  Loki could hardly speak by the time the concert was completely over. Soaked in sweat, both his own and everyone else’s around him, he was still buzzing with excitement. He didn’t get to push all the way to the first rows, but maybe it was for the best that he avoided the heat of bodies squeezed together tight like canned fish. Peter Apple had been amazing though. Vivid, expressive¸ and unashamedly sexual as he dominated the stage in just a pair of extremely tight leather pants. At one point, he even let one of the girls in first row touch his dick!

  By the time the show was over, Loki’s knees hurt from jumping for over an hour, a quiet beeping was a constant presence in his ears, and he’d die for a cold beer to soothe the ache in his throat. He was so insanely happy.

  “Jack¸ what do you think? Did you like it?” he asked, turning to face him.

  Jack gave him a drunken smile and nodded. “Good show.”

  Maybe this would be the night Loki would get to fuck Jack? He seemed to be in a great mood, and the amount of alcohol he’d poured into his body would help. Most guys would enjoy the stimulation if they only gave it a chance and loosened up.

  “Did you see his dick? He was hard for half the time,” whispered Loki into Jack’s ear, still giddy after seeing it live. He’d love to suck Peter Apple’s dick, and Jack fucking him from behind would make it even better.

  The way Jack’s face went red was pure pleasure to watch. “No! I didn’t look at it!”

  Loki chuckled and knocked on Jack’s chest. “Sure you didn’t.”

  “Are we going backstage or what?” Jack grumbled and pulled Loki by the arm.

  “You think they’ll let us in?” asked Loki, staring toward the edge of the stage where he last saw Peter Apple. “Maybe you should kill a bouncer, and we’d step over his corpse?” he called out for Jack to hear him over the music.

  Jack laughed out loud. “You’re ridiculous,” he said before making his way to a bouncer guarding a door close to the stage. His gait was confident, and Loki swallowed, watching them chat. Something exchanged hands.

  Loki’s heart skipped a beat, and he chewed on his lip. Was Jack bribing the guy? For him?

  His question was answered when Jack waved his hand for Loki to come over. The bouncer’s face was like made out of stone, but he let them through.

  “Move fast, we don’t have the badges needed,” Jack pushed him forward.

  Loki grinned at the black walls of the narrow corridor. “How much did you give him?”

  Jack laughed and pinched Loki’s arm. “I gave ‘im some speed.”

  Loki made a shocked face. “No...”

  “That against your morals somehow?” Jack snorted, looking at every door they were passing. There was a lot of noise all around, but the one Loki wanted to hear was Peter Apple’s crackly baritone.

  “I have no morals.”

  Jack laughed and rustled Loki’s hair. “That’s my boy! We can take some later.”

  Loki grinned, hardly stopping himself from putting his hand down the back pocket of Jack’s jeans. A group of people walked along the corridor ahead, and Loki rushed farther along, only to bump into a pretty red-haired woman when he was trying to sneak into said corridor.

  The ID hanging from her neck stated: Lisa Carter, The Rotten Apple PR. She looked them up and down. “May I ask who you are?” She crossed her arms on her chest.

  Loki took a big gulp of air and smiled. “I’m a friend of Mark,” he said, giving a random name. There had to be someone named Mark back here.

  Jack smirked. “More importantly though, who are you?” He reached out to have a better look at Lisa’s ID. “Loki? Didn’t you want to take a piss or something?” With his hand still holding Lisa’s badge, he nodded at the busy corridor ahead.

  “I am not impressed,” Lisa said, but didn’t pull away from Jack, and even smiled.

  Loki winked at Jack and started running as soon as he walked past Lisa. Peter Apple had to be somewhere. Partying? Receiving complimentary blow jobs? Heading for the hotel? Could Loki go with them then? He needed to be charming enough.

  And there it was, his holy grail—a room with Peter’s name written on a piece of paper fastened to it with tape. Each laugh coming from inside was worming its way through Loki’s body, pulling him in like an invitation. This was his chance.

  His stomach was in knots when he took two deep breaths and finally burst into the room sideways, making sure to fall down far away from the door. “Fuck,” he uttered, holding on to his arm.

  And there he was. Peter Apple. Sitting in an armchair and sipping a beer along with his band and a few girls. “You all right, mate?”

  Loki forced himself to look away from the gorgeous bulge and long hair the color of a firefighter truck. “Yeah, some douche pushed me over,” he said and got to his feet
in one move. He’d done his hair before coming here, he’d used the concealer on his facial scars, so he hoped he still looked somewhat presentable after the concert. “A cold beer wouldn’t hurt,” was the first thing that came to his hazy mind.

  “Were you here for the gig?” Peter asked, and someone passed Loki a beer from a little fridge. It felt like handling the Oscar for playing a fan in distress.

  Loki grinned and took a swig to give himself courage. He couldn’t just let his inner babble spill. He needed to play it cool. Impress.

  *

  Loki didn’t go to the hotel with The Rotten Apple, but he did share two beers with them, he got a signature on his forearm, and a chance to see Peter’s cock up close when one of the groupies blew him. That was hot, hot shit.

  But Jack was still waiting for him, and Loki didn’t want to leave him hanging any longer. He slowly walked out of the venue through the backdoor and watched the whole band and crew get into their rides as he called Jack’s phone.

  But all he got was voicemail.

  Loki sighed, looking at the phone and gave Peter Apple one last, longing look. The first and last time he ever saw the man, but it had been great. He’d achieved his goal and could cross another item off his bucket list. All thanks to Jack.

  “Come on,” whimpered Loki, making his way through the parking lot that was now much quieter than when they arrived.

  When he got to the right spot, he had to do a double take to make sure he wasn’t losing the plot, but Jack’s car was hard to miss with its amazing paintwork.

  A text message came. ‘I’m kinda busy with Lisa. Take a cab home.’

  Loki stared at the screen, feeling like his body might just start sagging like a deflated tire. Just like that, his eyes welled up like a little kid’s, and he hated it. He hated it so much but couldn’t stop the tears from overflowing. All this time, he had thought he and Jack had an understanding. That Jack had stopped that woman to help Loki get to Peter Apple, but it turned out that was just the byproduct of Jack wanting to taste some pussy. He didn’t care at all what Loki thought about it.

  The bastard.

  Loki sniffed, wiped his eyes and called over a car. He’d make that bastard pay. How dare he just leave him there on their big night out? They were supposed to take speed together... Jack said so himself! Loki could bet it would have ended with sex. Jack would be all relaxed and ready to take a cock. How long was Loki supposed to wait anyway? He only had so much time left.

  The way home dragged and felt like forever, but Loki still gave the driver a big tip with Jack’s money. The moon cast a blue light on the walls, and even as Loki stepped on the stairs leading to the door, he could hear the pulsing music from the other side of the house. It didn’t feel real anymore. It was as if there were invisible walls around Loki, a bubble that somehow kept him isolated from what was happening behind the door. Breathless, he put the key into the lock and let himself in, bursting the bubble the moment he saw a bottle of mixed cocktail on the counter. Neither he nor Jack ever drank this stuff, and as Loki’s gaze trailed down the corridor, to the bright line underneath the door of Jack’s bedroom, the furious beating in Loki’s head muted even the music coming from behind the door.

  The floor was crumbling beneath his feet, and he could do nothing to stop whatever was happening there. He had to wait and endure. Now that Jack had a woman over, Loki was out of his mind, replaced by some tits and pussy. The moment a pretty woman’s company was on the table, all the promises Jack had made to Loki must had evaporated out of his mind.

  Loki sobbed into his hand and pressed his face against the cool wall, trying to breathe slowly. The illusion he’d made himself believe burst, and now every tiny shard bit into Loki’s flesh. Jack didn’t care about him. He never would. What a fucking liar.

  Loki restlessly paced around the living room, and each strong beat of music from the room nearby made him think of Red Jack’s cock ramming between someone else’s legs. What did that make Loki? A third wheel at best. His chest burst with anger while his eyes kept overflowing, yet another addition to the chaos in Loki’s mind.

  His eyes kept gliding over Jack’s glass cabinet full of model bikes. The collection was a testimony to Jack’s cold heart. He cared more about those stupid things than about Loki. A tremble of rage went through Loki’s body when he thought about the tenderness with which Jack slouched over the table, painting the tiny registration plates. What a ridiculous, heartless man.

  Loki got a gun from Jack’s safe, along with some wads of cash stashed there, as for a moment he wanted to just leave. Get himself a place to stay in the Caribbean and die in the sun. But then he’d die away from Jack, and that wasn’t what he wanted, and so he hid the stolen supplies in the cupboard and curled up on the sofa. He just needed to make him understand the message loud and clear.

  Loki didn’t even know how much time had passed before some light crawled out of Jack’s bedroom. The music was still going strong, screwing itself into Loki’s brain and digging out the last shards of joy that remained from the first part of this night. A ray of white moved over the wall, and Loki recognized it was a car that parked in the driveway. Lisa must have gotten herself a cab. Good choice. She would not want to be here when shit got ugly. Jack probably wouldn’t bother seeing her to the door, which at least brought a bitter smile to Loki’s face. He bet Jack wouldn’t get her an ice packet if her head hurt either. She was just a random woman, whose name Jack would most likely forget by the morning. The thing between Jack and Loki on the other hand was fragile, yes, but the connection was there, growing with each day. The music stopped mid-song.

  Lisa quietly shut the door behind her, but Loki waited, staring at the lights outside until they disappeared from sight. He and Jack were alone at last. Jack’s bare feet slapped against the wooden panels, breaking the silence that was slowly filling up Loki’s chest. Jack walked all the way to the fridge and illuminated the kitchen when he opened it. The unmistakable jingle of beer bottles made Loki tremble with anger.

  He opened his mouth but found himself too choked up to speak. Jack was so relaxed as the cool light caressed his bare skin. He threw his head back, grunting when the first droplets filled his mouth.

  “Why did you do it?” Loki asked eventually.

  Jack was so startled he flinched and poured some beer over himself. “Fucking hell! Don’t creep around in the dark like that!”

  Loki gave a shuddery breath, completely focused on the lovely, familiar face, now partially obscured by heavy shadows. “Why did you do it?”

  “Do what?” Jack frowned and just had more beer, as if nothing had happened.

  Loki stepped closer, drawn to him like a moth, ready to be burned. “You left me there. You were supposed to be there for me.”

  Jack rolled his eyes. “Oh, that? We went to the concert together. You got to meet that Peter guy, and I got some pussy. Win-win. The girls at the club have been weird with me lately. I bet Lucy told them some bullshit.”

  Loki’s throat constricted, but the scream forming in his chest still went through. “You ditched me to fuck some girl? She wasn’t even that pretty!”

  Jack spread his arms, only teasing Loki with his incredible naked form, all muscles, and tattoos. “Didn’t know I’m only to sleep with girls you think are worthy.”

  Loki was exhausted from just talking to Jack, and the throbbing in his chest wouldn’t let out. “I’m here to suck your cock every day, but the moment I’m off your radar, you fuck some random chick? Don’t I deserve some respect?”

  Jack put down the beer and walked up to Loki in a slow manner that was no less threatening because of his nakedness. “Respect? I do what the fuck I want. You sleep in my house, I fuck you, you eat my food, and you still steal my money. And you’re telling me about fucking respect?” He slapped Loki on the side of the head so hard Loki could hear bells ringing.

  He hit the wall, blinking in shock as he looked up into Jack’s eyes again. They were cold like twin icic
les in the light from the open fridge. A sob fought its way out of Loki’s mouth as he slumped against the wall. “But I love you...”

  “What? What does that even mean? You can’t love me.” Jack stared at him and pushed him back hard. “What the fuck?”

  Loki gasped but kept Jack’s gaze. “How could you cheat on me?” he whispered through trembling lips.

  Jack cocked his head to the side. “Cheat? What is going on in that head of yours?”

  Loki wheezed in a gulp of air through his clenched throat and stepped closer, touching Jack’s naked chest. He couldn’t stop himself from doing so even now that Jack hurt him so bad. “We’ve been exclusive... you’re helping me with my bucket list... you care for me. Deep down, you know it.”

  “I’m not, and I never will be exclusive with a guy.” Jack pushed Loki farther into the living room. “You think I’m a fag! That’s what this is about. You think that deep down, I’m a fag, and you can just domesticate me!”

  “Bisexual is fine... doesn’t matter as long as you stay with me...”

  Jack grabbed Loki’s T-shirt and shook him. His eyes were burning with anger. “There is no bisexual! Fuck you! I am as straight as they come. I’m just horny all the time because I’m a stud, nothing else!”

  Loki gritted his teeth, but the moment he opened his mouth again, each word came out louder than the last. “You’re lying. You love kissing me, jerking me off, you love fucking me, and you sniff my hair all the time!”

  “I don’t sniff your fucking hair!” Jack yelled and punched Loki’s face. It came at such a shock, such a dark reminder of the last time Loki had seen Ted, his deadbeat ex, that his mind went blank as he tasted blood on his tongue. “Get out of my fucking house!”

  Loki stumbled backward and put his hand on the wall, eyes blurring with tears as he retreated on stiff legs, closed in the world of a furious pulsing in his ears. He was diving into the darkness, far away from the pale figure of Jack, slowly forgetting how to breathe.