No Place Like Home - Love in Seattle

by Christina Butrum

  “Why do you keep asking me that?” she asked, tugging against the waistband of his pants in a failed attempt to bring him closer.

  He sat back against the arm of the couch; focused and out of breath he said, “Because I want to make sure that you truly want this.”

  She slid out from underneath him, unsure of what this actually meant. She wanted to tell him it didn’t matter right now. There were no decisions that needed to be made tonight, this was just sex, right? She was taking a chance, because that’s what she needed to do.

  Sitting on her knees in front of him, she leaned in and kissed him, allowing her tongue to venture around and tease him, she whispered, “We need to take this to my bedroom.”

  Chapter Thirteen

  For the first time in a long time, Janelle had deep regrets about what had happened between her and a man. It wasn’t about regretting having sex with Colin Davis. The sex had been amazing. What she had to regret was the fact that she was not staying in Seattle. She would be going back to Cincinnati in less than two months and she was not willing to continue whatever this was.

  The warmth of his arm crossed her midsection as she lay still against him. Thoughts of how she was going to tell him to forget about what happened crossed her mind as his fingers traced the length of her arm.

  “Good morning, beautiful,” he whispered heat against her neck.

  The thought of being late for work at the café, mixed with the hangover from the events of last night, Janelle sat up in bed and pushed herself up against the headboard. Colin slowly moved his arm away from her as he kept his expression fixed on her reaction.

  “Colin,” she said, as she struggled to find the right words to say.

  He had already sat up against the headboard next to her. Her hand was inside of his as he caressed her skin with his thumb. How could she have allowed this to happen? Looking at the clock next to the bed, she realized she still had plenty of time to get ready and out the door. She had plenty of time to talk to him, to tell him that she messed up...

  “Do you regret this?” he asked, his voice soft and his eyes focused on her.

  “No, that’s not what I was going to say,” she said, shaking her head. Trying to avoid the concern in his eyes, she looked down at her hands that clenched the bedspread close to her chest.

  “Well, something’s the matter because I can see it on your face,” Colin said, caressing a thumb against her cheek. His soft touch was her undoing. Whatever she had been thinking of saying had been quickly dismissed.

  “Colin,” she repeated his name, this time in a breathy whisper. She hated the affect he had on her—the control he had over her emotions with just a single touch. Had he known what he was doing? She couldn’t tell. All she knew was the tug at her heart as she thought of what she needed to tell him. “When I said I wasn’t staying in Seattle, I meant it.”

  The look of concern that crossed his face sent a twist straight to her gut. It was the look of disappointment, confusion, with no room for hope. He continued to caress her skin with his fingers as though he was waiting for her to change her mind.

  “I can’t stay in Seattle,” she said, wondering if he understood the point she was subtly making. There was nothing here in Seattle for her. And as much as she loved her parents and their business, she wasn’t able to stay.

  “Tell me why you can’t,” he pleaded. “And I’ll give three reasons why you can.”

  “Where should I begin?” she asked, failing at sarcasm this early in the morning. “First off, I have a life waiting for me in Cincinnati.”

  “Okay.” He said, getting out of bed.

  “Second, I have a career that’s impatiently awaiting my return,” she said, counting off on her fingers.

  He stood at the edge of her bed, adjusting his pants and buttoning them against his bare, muscular stomach. “Okay.”

  Annoyed that he kept saying okay, she said, “And third, you always say okay and it drives me nuts.”

  A smile tugged at his lips. “Okay.”

  Flopping back against the headboard before swinging her feet over the edge of the bed, Janelle let out a disgruntled sigh. She climbed out of bed and reached for her clothes, which had been tossed, carefree, in the midst of the events that had taken place right here in her bedroom.

  “That’s not a real reason,” he said, laughing as he made his way to the other side of the room to retrieve his shirt. Standing near the door, he waited for her reasons as he buttoned the last four buttons of his shirt.

  “Simply put, Seattle has nothing to offer me.” As soon as the words were out of her mouth, she regretted them.

  Colin clenched his chest and said, “Man down, man down, I’ve been hit.”

  Bringing a hand to cover her mouth, Janelle stood frozen by the dresser. In an attempt to take back the sting of her words, she said, “That’s not what I meant, and you know it.”

  Straightening himself in a standing position, Colin made way for the door. “Let’s discuss this over breakfast.”

  There wasn’t much left to discuss. She had already given him the reasons she couldn’t stay in Seattle. The only one that remained unsaid was the fact that her mother would make it so difficult for her that she didn’t want to fight about it. They would be the first to dismiss her ideas, for the simple fact her mother wanted her to be a journalist, not a baker, and no matter how many times Janelle would fight, the results would be the same.

  Making their way to the kitchen, she called out over her shoulder, “There’s not really much to discuss.”

  She pulled a few frozen entrees from the freezer and preheated the oven. As much as she would have loved to, she didn’t have time to cook a big breakfast for the two of them. She settled on whatever boxed breakfast she had just tossed into the oven.

  “Hope this is okay?” she asked, closing the oven door before tossing off her oven mitts.

  “More than okay,” he said, pulling out a chair at the table for her to sit next to him. “Have a seat.”

  Accepting his offer, she sat down next to him and waited for him to begin this round of discussion. When he didn’t, she said, “Aren’t you going to ask me what other reasons I have for not wanting to stay in Seattle?”

  Shrugging, with his eyes focused on hers, he said, “I figured you’d tell me eventually.”

  “The main reason I can’t is because my parents wouldn’t allow it.”

  Leaning forward in his chair, he asked, “How do you know that without talking to them?”

  Chuckling, almost to herself, she said, “You don’t know my mom the way I do. If she doesn’t want something to happen, it doesn’t. Same goes with my career.”

  Shaking his head, he leaned back in his chair and folded his arms. “I still don’t understand why you let others have such an impact on what you choose to do or not do.”

  She raised an eyebrow in reply to what he just said. He was saying she shouldn’t let others affect her decisions, and here he was, trying to convince her to stay.

  “What?” he asked, unfolded his arms as he leaned forward on the table. “I’m just saying, the answer will always be no if you never ask.”

  “I know that.”

  She did know that. She had lived by that motto for as long as she could remember, but when it came to her mom, Janelle’s goals meant diddly-squat as long as she kept her journalism career.

  “Besides, who said that you had to stick with your parents’ business? There’s a million opportunities in Seattle to open your own.”

  He had a legit point. Sure, she didn’t need her parents’ business to start a bakery, but it would be nice to have a crutch to get on her feet. “I don’t necessarily need my parents’ café. The thought was only to get my feet planted before I made a significant investment,” she said, trying to explain the best way she could. “You know, to get an idea of how well things would work out...”

  The timer on the oven dinged repeatedly, until she shut it off and opened the door. Sliding her mitts o
n, she pulled their breakfast from the oven. For being frozen, it didn’t look too bad. It was a mix of eggs, veggies, and whatever else had been tossed in there.

  Trying to remain on track with her routine, Janelle remained silent as she finished breakfast. Colin must have gotten the hint that she was crunched for time as he was silent too.

  Rinsing her plate before putting it in the dishwasher, she waited for him to finish as she chugged the last few gulps of her milk. She needed to get a shower and finish getting her things ready for the day, since she hadn’t been able to do that last night.

  Taking his plate for him, she said, “I need to get a shower. I’ll see you at the café?”

  The smirk that tugged one side of his mouth told her he had other ideas. What the hell had she gotten herself into?

  “I have other ideas,” he said, the smirk never leaving his face.

  “Of course you do,” she said, turning to leave the kitchen. “But I have less than forty-five minutes to get ready, and get my butt to the café.”

  She guided him out of the kitchen, leading him to the front door. She smiled and said, “As much as I enjoyed last night, I don’t have time for a repeat.”

  Refusing to budge, he said, “Let me shower with you.”

  The wink he gave was irresistible, yet she refused to give in. “Colin, I’m serious.”

  “Me, too.” He was now inches from her as he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her to him. “You won’t be late, I promise.”

  The trail his lips made from hers to her neck had her squirming against him. She didn’t care how much time he said they had, she didn’t have time to waste on whatever this was between them. She needed to tell him it wasn’t a good idea for them to continue, because in a couple of months all of this wouldn’t matter—she’d be on her way back to Cincinnati.

  Chapter Fourteen

  Sprinting down the sidewalk in the direction of the café, with Colin in tow, Janelle hollered, ‘I’m going to be late and it’s all your fault.”

  “You can’t blame me,” Colin said, catching up beside her.

  “People are going to know, Colin,” she said, out of breath, as she slowed down to a fast paced walk, allowing him to catch up to her.

  “Is that what you’re afraid of?” he asked, disbelief mixed with anger crossed his face. “Out of all the things to be afraid of...”

  “It’s not that at all,” Janelle said, swinging her bag over the other shoulder as she huffed over to the next block. “It’s just that I know how word gets around, and I don’t want people talking about our one night stand.”

  Pulling her arm with a firm grip, he stopped her midstride. “One night stand? That’s what you’re calling this?”

  She hadn’t expected a reaction from him like this. Had she been mistaken for calling it like she saw it? She had no other reason to think of this as anything more than just sex. One thing had led to another.

  “That’s incredible,” he said, walking ahead as he left her standing frozen to the concrete. “And here I thought there was something more between us than an argument over who was an asshole to whom in college.”

  “I was never an asshole to you in college!” she shouted after him, still frozen to the sidewalk, unable to move.

  Swinging his arms up as he turned around, he shouted back, “Well then, I guess you’re the asshole now, and we’re tied. Have a great day!”

  What in the hell had just happened? She didn’t have time for this crap. Had he really just called her an asshole? Jogging after him in an attempt to catch up with him, she held tight to her things. “Wait!”

  He stopped, and without turning around to greet her, he stood facing away from her.

  “Colin, I’m not an asshole,” she said. “You can’t call me that.”

  “Why not?”

  “Because I’m not an asshole.”

  He turned and faced her. Disappointment haunted his expression as he looked into her eyes. It was clear that things had been taken too far, too fast. They had crossed lines without knowing it and she had just created their first battle.

  “Isn’t that all it was last night?” she asked, realizing her words were grating a sore spot.

  “Is that all you wanted it to be?” he asked, the look of disappointment had vanished. With frustration, he ran his hand through his disheveled hair as he waited for her to answer.

  She had no idea how to answer his question. Had she known that he would take it seriously, she wouldn’t have allowed any of this to happen. The last thing she wanted to do was to allow her feelings for him to muddy her plans of returning to Cincinnati. It was best to let go and forget anything had happened.

  “I don’t want to talk about this right now,” she said, with knots in her stomach.

  “Well, when is a good time to talk about it? Because I know you feel the same way I do,” he said, pleading with her to talk, as he trailed close behind her. “If not, then I was horribly mistaken and should have never...”

  “Don’t say it,” Janelle whispered as she turned toward him.

  “Then tell me what the heck is going on? What we did last night and this morning wasn’t nothing, Janelle.”

  Half a block away from the coffee shop, she decided to end this conversation before she was too late and had to apologize to Kelsie for leaving her deserted. “Can we talk about this later?”

  “Yeah, whatever,” Colin said, defeated by her words. “Okay.”

  “Okay,” she mumbled as she pressed on toward the coffee shop.

  ***

  “Is everything okay? You don’t look so great,” Kelsie asked, as she approached the door.

  Janelle’s reflection in the windows of the coffee shop would have startled her if she hadn’t been prepared for it. With her hair a mess, flinging in all different directions, and her makeup smeared from the sweat and tears from the morning hustle to the shop, she looked like shit.

  “Yes, I’m fine,” she grumbled as she shoved open the door. “It was a long night and I overslept.”

  A little white lie would never hurt, especially when it covered what actually happened. She wasn’t about to go into detail about her late night and early morning shenanigans.

  “Listen, I’m going to make a few phone calls,” she called out to Kelsie, who, like every other morning, was already making her rounds in her routine. “It shouldn’t take me too long, okay?”

  Kelsie shooed her away as she turned on the music. Janelle unlocked the office door and escaped the reality of the disastrous morning she had already had. Collecting her thoughts, she reached for her notebook and pen. She needed to make a few notes in order to keep her thoughts on track.

  Picking up the phone, she dialed the number to her father’s cell phone as she hoped he’d be the one to answer. Less than four rings later, her father’s voice boomed on the other end of the line.

  “Hey there, Elle.”

  “Hey, Dad.”

  “What has you calling so early in the morning?”

  Slapping a hand against her forehead as she realized she had forgotten, yet again, the time zone differences. Even though it wasn’t early in Florida, it was still early for her, and her father knew it. Looking down at the notes she had made for herself, she said, “I’ve been thinking a lot lately.”

  “Elle, just spit it out already.”

  Her father had always been easy to talk to, but he also knew when she was hee-hawing around with discussion.

  “I was thinking about opening a bakery,” she said, trying to choose her words carefully.

  “You’re on that kick again, huh?” he asked with annoyance. “You know that your mother...”

  “I know she doesn’t want me to, but Dad, it’s what I feel is best for me,” Janelle said, still hoping she hadn’t lost her father’s interest. “I have an idea that just might work, but I need...”

  “What about Cincinnati, Elle?” her father asked, concerned more about her life in Cincinnati than her dreams in Seattle.


  “I can figure that out when the time comes, Dad,” she said. “Just hear me out.”

  “Look, kiddo,” he said, causing her to cringe. She hated when he called her that. “You have a great life going for you in Cincinnati. What made you change your mind?”

  Thinking about the coffee shop, an imaginary bakery in her dreams, Colin...

  “Elle,” her father’s voice interrupted her distracting thoughts. “What has changed your mind? You’re doing so well in Cincinnati, and we’re so proud of how far you’ve come in journalism...”

  “That’s just it, Dad,” she said, trying to keep her irritation under control. If she could just convince her father about her plan, then everything else would, hopefully, fall into place. “My journalism career wasn’t my dream.”

  “Sure it was,” her father retorted. “Look how good you are at it.”

  “Dad,” she said, losing patience with the conversation. “I’m only good at it because I write about baking and bakery related things.”

  “I don’t know, Elle,” her father said, following with a hesitant sigh. “You’ll have to talk to your mother about this. You know she’s better at the business side of things...”

  Irritated beyond measure at the one sided conversation her father had given her, she said, “But I thought you were better at listening to me. I thought you were in my corner, supporting me through anything.”

  Ending the conversation with her father seemed to be the only option she had left. The conversation would shortly have been taken over by her mother if she had continued, because her father would have made sure to involve her.

  Scribbling notes into her notebook, diffusing the irritation that was about to cause her to explode, she decided to write down her five year plan. The only problem with that was where she would start. She was stuck between moving in the right direction and being pulled in the complete opposite.

  A knock at the door startled her. “Come in,” she said, standing before the door opened.

  Kelsie stood on the other side of the door with Colin next to her. Janelle shook her head and politely said, “No, not right now. It isn’t a good time.”