Seeking the Dream

by Marcia J. Bennett

  He pulled Kelsan’s knifelike instrument from his waistband and moved into the hall. Seven steps brought him to Patra’s door. He reached inside the doorway and touched the button that put on the overhead light.

  The room was still and empty, just as he had left it. He turned, touched the light panel, and stepped back into the hall, knowing that if he wanted to locate Thura, there was no time to waste hunting shadows. He hurried down the hall to continue his search.

  Chapter 17

  THEON PACED RESTLESSLY up and down the corridor that led to a set of stairs that would take them out of the lower cellars up into the kitchens on ground level. It was a roundabout way of getting into the upper levels of the building, but it was far safer than the direct route through the infirmary. Not only were there two secret passageways leading into and out of the kitchens should a hasty retreat be necessary, but there was every possibility that the Wastelanders had left men somewhere down in the lower levels, men who were still looking for their escape tunnel, and if they looked hard enough…

  “Well, we’re in, at least,” Theon muttered to himself as he stopped at the foot of the steps where the tall Ni called Amet stood with his arms crossed over his chest as if barring the way. “Now all we have to worry about is finding Gringers, Little Fish, and the others… and getting back out.”

  “What?” Amet asked, catching the last few words.

  “Nothing, just thinking out loud,” Theon said. His glance touched the seven Barl-ganians who sat crouched along the walls of the corridor awaiting orders. They were dirty; their clothing was torn, and several bore crudely wrapped bandages, but all were armed with knives or whatever other sharp implements they had been able to find when the Wastelanders broke over the stockade wall. Their anxious glances shifted from Theon to the impressive-looking Ni standing on the stairway.

  Theon was not exactly sure why any of them had come unless they had some deranged idea of trying to reclaim what was theirs. No use telling them that such dreams would probably be the death of them. Theon was a realist and held no illusions about the last survivors of Barl-gan. He knew that many were retarded and over half were physically malformed, and they had little chance of driving the Wastelanders away even with the help of the three Ni who had literally stepped out of thin air. But upstairs they would be bodies wielding knives, and their presence would greatly improve his own chance of finding and freeing Gringers. That was all he would ask of them.

  He looked up at Amet. “How long are we going to wait here?”

  The overhead lights in the corridor reflected in Amet’s eyes as he turned his attention to Theon. “We wait until I have word from Paa-tol,” he replied.

  Theon pointed to Amet’s ring hand. “He’s going to signal you through that. Right?”

  When Amet nodded, Theon frowned. “You don’t believe that’s possible, do you?” Amet asked, his eyebrows raised in question.

  Theon did not like the superior tone in Amet’s voice but he was not about to challenge the Ni, at least at the moment. “What I believe isn’t important. All I want to do is find my friends.”

  “We’ll find them.”

  “We damn well better after all your promises!” Theon growled.

  “Theon… not now!”

  Startled by Lil-el’s voice, Theon turned to find her standing just beyond the last of the Barl-ganians. “What are you doing here?” he snapped. “You were to stay at the tunnel exit and guard it for us!”

  “I’m here because you’re going to need every pair of hands you can get when you go upstairs!”

  “Lil-el, you can’t…”

  “I can and I will. No more arguing. I won’t be left behind!” She moved closer and glanced around. “Where’s the Healer?”

  “Why?” Theon growled.

  “There’s something I must say to him.” Her glance touched Amet, then slid away. “It’s important!”

  “Whatever you want to say can wait until later,” Theon said, walking toward her. “I want you back in that tunnel to keep the way clear for us!”

  “No! Send one of the others back. Here’s the light gun,” she said, handing it to him.

  “Lil-el,” Theon warned.

  Suddenly the Healer appeared at a junction in the corridor behind Lil-el. Young Tule followed close on his heels. Tule was only twelve, but he was large and strong for his age. His splayed feet were all that betrayed him as Barl-ganian.

  The rest of the Barl-ganians stood as the Healer approached. Several had experienced his healing touch; the others had seen the results of his work on Gils Watcher and Jothan.

  Theon unconsciously straightened as Dhalvad stopped beside Lil-el. Like the Barl-ganians, he stood in awe of the slightly built Ni.

  “I’ve had no luck finding Gi-arobi,” Dhalvad announced. “I don’t know where he went. I was sure he was following along behind. He must have taken one of the halls leading away from this one.”

  “You’ll never find him if he has,” Theon said. “There’s a maze of rooms and halls both down here and above, and it’s not easy to find your way around even with the halls lighted.”

  Dhalvad turned from Theon and looked back the way he had come. “I can’t leave him to find his way out alone. He’s smart, but—”

  “There’s no time to go looking for him now,” Amet said sharply. “Paa-tol should be contacting us any moment now, and we’ll have to be ready when he and the others draw the Wastelanders to the stockade walls.”

  Dhalvad ignored Amet and spoke to Theon. “You said there was another way to the floors above. Could you or one of the others show me the way?”

  “No!” Amet snapped. “I want you by me! If we’re to locate Mithdaar, it’s essential that you stay near the Tamorlee.”

  Dhalvad glared at Amet, his fists clenched at his sides. It was evident to all standing there, if it had not been before, that there was no love lost between the two Ni.

  “There’s no way you can stop me from going to look for Gi!”

  “You’re a fool!” Amet hissed angrily. “What we’re doing here is more important than finding that rude little furball!”

  “To you. Not to me!” Dhalvad held out his hand. “If you want me to assist the Tamorlee, give it to me now and let us find the other crystal. It’ll be easier without your interference!”

  “Give it to you!” Amet crowed. “Then I’d be the fool! You’d be gone in an instant, right back to Jjaan-bi and your half-breed mate! No! You’ll stay here with me—or risk her life! I’m warning you, don’t push me! Or have you forgotten that Paa-tol also has a Seeker ring and is fully capable of reaching Jjaan-bi within minutes? He has his orders should you prove difficult, and you know what those orders are. Now, what is it to be?”

  While the two Ni argued, there was a subtle shifting among the Barl-ganians. Theon noticed and silently approved as he moved a step to his right, bringing himself shoulder to shoulder with the Healer. Slowly the Barl-ganians gathered around behind them, their frowns directed at Amet.

  “I’m not sure what’s going on here,” Theon said, breaking the deadlock between the two Ni, “but whatever it is, I stand with the Healer.”

  “Stay out of this,” Amet said. “It doesn’t concern you!”

  “Perhaps it doesn’t,” Theon snapped back, “but I know a threat when I hear one, and none of us likes you threatening this man!”

  “He’s not one of you! He’s Ni! And he’s under my authority. I’m Speaker for the Tamorlee and will brook no interference in this matter. If you want to stand with him, then you serve him best by being quiet and following my orders. We all want something here. You, your friends. I, the crystal called Mithdaar.” Amet’s glance fell on Dhalvad. “And all the Healer wants is to go home and find everything as he left it. Isn’t that right, Dhalvad?”

  Dhalvad glanced at Theon and several of the others standing with him. He felt their support but at the same time realized that Amet still held the upper hand. He looked back at Amet and nodded.

&nb
sp; Amet’s mocking look of triumph made Dhalvad’s stomach churn with revulsion. There would come a time, he vowed silently, when Amet would pay for what he was doing.

  Suddenly Amet straightened. His glance lifted over the heads of those below him; eyes unfocused, he stared into the overhead light.

  “What’s happening?” Theon asked.

  “He’s mind-speaking to Paa-tol through the rings,” Dhalvad answered. “All Seeker rings are linked to each other by an energy we call polu. Seekers can tap into the energy and use it for both communication and travel.”

  Lil-el looked at Amet and saw that her moment had come. Ever since she had learned Dhalvad’s name, she had been trying to speak to him alone, but he had slept most of that day away, and after waking, Amet or Paa-tol had been in constant attendance, giving her no chance to speak to Dhalvad privately.

  She touched Dhalvad’s arm to get his attention. “Please, there’s something I must ask you.”

  Dhalvad looked at her frowning. “I thought you were to stay in the tunnel.”

  “Never mind that,” Lil-el answered impatiently. “I’m going with you. But before anything else happens, I must know something about you. Do you have a family? Any brothers or sisters?”

  Dhalvad was startled by the question. “What has that to do with anything?”

  “Please, it’s important!” Lil-el pleaded.

  “I have a mate and a child, a son, and I did have a brother and sister, but they both died in the war. My mother and father are also dead.”

  Lil-el looked deeply into Dhalvad’s eyes. There was a resemblance there! She could not be wrong. “What was your brother’s name? Was it Bhaldavin?”

  Dhalvad’s eyes widened in surprise. “How did you know that?”

  Lil-el smiled through the tears that had sprung to her eyes. “I knew it! I was right! You’re Dhalvad, the young brother who was left behind in the Deep! Bhaldavin has talked about you so often, about going back to find you.” She laughed and grabbed his arm. “And here you are looking for him!”

  “Bhaldavin? My brother is here?” Dhalvad demanded, his thoughts spinning wildly. “Where is he?”

  Theon, who had been listening, broke in. “Bhaldavin is Little Fish. He’s the one we’ve come to get out of here, the one who holds the other crystal. Is he really your brother?”

  Dhalvad turned dazed eyes to Theon. “I don’t know. It doesn’t seem possible. It’s been so long. How can I be sure?”

  Lil-el was laughing and crying at the same time. “You’ll know when you see him, I promise. He can tell you his story better than I. If only he was here right now! We’ve got to get him out… and Thura, and the others, before something happens to them!”

  Dhalvad caught Lil-el’s hands and gripped them tightly, a hundred questions trembling on his lips.

  Suddenly Amet came out of his trace. “It’s begun! The Wastelanders are engaged and on a run toward the stockade walls. Let’s go!”

  Amet’s glance found Theon. “You! Lead the way and quickly! We won’t have a lot of time to do our searching. And be ready to fight. There are sure to be some of the enemy left guarding the prisoners!”

  Theon muttered something about fools giving orders as he ran past Amet up the stairs toward the kitchens above.

  Dhalvad gave Lil-el a tight smile. “We’ll find them, I promise! Stay close to me!”

  Lil-el nodded and brushed at the tears blurring her vision as she followed Dhalvad past Amet. The Barl-ganians took their cues from Dhalvad and Lil-el and flowed by Amet, pushing him back against the stairwell in their haste to stay with the three in the lead.

  Amet growled a curse, pushed away from the wall, and brought up the rear, hurrying to catch up.

  Theon reached the top of the secret passageway and paused with an ear near the crack in the door. From the other side the door was hidden by a paneled wall with narrow shelves used to hold spices. It was silent and dark beyond the door. He touched the metal lever on the top of the doorway and pushed the paneled door outward. Moments later the kitchen was filled with Barl-ganians. Light from the lower passageway gave the kitchen an eerie glow.

  “Spread out,” Theon ordered softly. “Stay in pairs and be careful. If you find any Wastelanders, don’t hesitate to kill, because they won’t! We’ve got to find Gringers, Little Fish, and the others and free them as quickly as possible. If anything goes wrong, try to get back here. Understood?”

  Five or six of the Barl-ganians nodded; the others just stood and stared. Unsure whether or not they all understood, Theon shrugged his shoulders in resignation, knowing he would be lucky to see even half of them live through the upcoming fight. “All right, go!”

  The Barl-ganians slipped out of the room quickly and quietly. Theon turned and touched the light panel on the other side of the secret door, plunging the room into darkness. He left the door slightly ajar and reached out to catch Dhalvad’s arm.

  “You and Amet stay with me, or you’ll get lost. Lil-el, guard our backs!”

  Dhalvad felt Amet fumble at his shoulder in the darkness. He would have smiled in delight at the smooth way the small man had taken leadership from Amet had he not been so worried about what they would find ahead. Judging from what Lil-el and Theon had told him about Wastelanders, it would be kill or be killed if they met any head on.

  As thoughts of Wastelanders crossed his mind, Dhalvad was suddenly inundated by terrifying images belonging to Gils Watcher. The intimate linkage necessary for a deep healing had, in Gils’s case, created an echo effect that immersed Dhalvad in a whirlwind of memories not his own. He saw the Wastelanders kill Gavi in cold blood; then he, as Gils, nudged Enar in the side and together they made a break for the stockade wall. His heartbeat raced as he/Gils caught the top of the walkway and pulled himself up. He/Gils reached back to help Enar and saw him struck in the back with a knife. Enar fell, then he/Gils was throwing himself over the stockade wall and falling… falling…

  A sudden jerk on Dhalvad’s arm broke the barrier between shared memory and present reality and he came out of his trance to find himself being held up by Amet on one side, Theon on the other, the glow of light coming from another room, showing both faces clearly.

  “What’s wrong?” Theon whispered.

  Dhalvad shook his head. “Nothing. Just lost myself for a moment.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “Memories belonging to Gils. They caught me off guard.”

  Amet’s hand tightened on Dhalvad’s arm. “If you’re trying to pull something, it won’t work! I haven’t come all this way to have you—”

  Dhalvad twisted free, the lingering effects of Gils’s rage and terror still coursing through him. “Damn it! I’ve had enough of you and your demands. If you want me to help you find Mithdaar, just shut up and let me do what I’m here for. If you won’t give me the Tamorlee, at least let me touch it and find out if it knows where Mithdaar is!”

  “Come on, you two,” Theon interjected. “Arguing isn’t going to help us find Gringers or Little Fish, and there’s no telling how long your friend will be able to keep the Wastelanders’ attention.”

  Dhalvad ignored the tug on his arm. “Well, Amet? Do I speak to the Tamorlee, or do you go on alone?”

  Amet was silent for a moment or two. He heard the ring of defiance in Dhalvad’s voice and realized that the Healer could be pushed no further. He held his ring hand out, his fist closed tightly so there was no chance of Dhalvad slipping the Tamorlee away from him. “No tricks, Dhalvad. I’ll be monitoring you both.”

  Dhalvad swallowed an angry retort and reached for the ring stone. His hatred for Amet had grown so strong that for a few seconds it actually blocked his linkage with the crystal; but slowly, gradually, the Tamorlee took his anger and converted it into pure energy, storing it within him.

  Relax, the Tamorlee crooned. All is well, my friend. I have touched your anger and know its source. No harm will come to you from Amet.

  It’s not me I’m worried about, Dhalvad
said. It’s Poco and Jiam!

  Dhalvad, enough! Amet warned.

  No! I’ve kept silent this long because I made myself believe that you would keep your word. I now fear that you never intended to! It was back there—it was the way you dismissed Gi-arobi. You don’t care whether he lives or dies, just as you don’t care about the rest of us! It’s finally come to me that it would be far better for you if I never return to Jjaan-bi to tell my side of this story, and the same goes for Poco, Jiam, and Screech. You mean to eliminate all of us, don’t you?

  Amet! Is this the truth? the Tamorlee demanded.

  The quaver in the energy linkage sent chills up Amet’s spine. He reacted to the Tamorlee’s dismay with righteous indignation. The truth is that I mean to find Mithdaar and return it to Jjaan-bi, and I’ll not let anyone stand in my way! You are as responsible as I for what has happened! If you had spoken directly to me about Mithdaar and not insisted that Dhalvad become involved, I wouldn’t have had to use any leverage to force Dhalvad to assist in this search. He could have remained blissfully ignorant of this hunt, and you and I could have come here alone!

  He twists things around, Tamorlee, Dhalvad said. The blame isn’t yours! It’s his and his alone! He lied to you and he forced me to lie to both you and the Council of Elders by omission!

  And yet, the Tamorlee mused, I sense that he speaks the truth as he sees it, and part of that truth is that some of the blame must be mine. I’m sorry, my friend, to be even partially responsible for the pain and anger I sense in you. Being alone has finally warped my sense of priorities. I thought only of my own needs and ignored all others.

  As do we all, Amet chimed in. Enough with self-recrimination! No one is perfect. Not I, not Dhalvad, not even the Tamorlee. There’s no going back to right wrongs unless one chooses to walk through time, and even then, one visiting the past is not always able to change it. So let’s stop all this nonsense about who did what to whom and get on with finding Mithdaar. We can sort everything out after we have the other crystal in our possession.

  And Poco, Jiam, and Screech? Dhalvad demanded. You promise you’ll set them free? That they’ll not be harmed?