Baby Steps

by Lily Zante

  “People change.”

  She gritted her teeth together, unable to hit back with a suitable answer. People did change, and sometimes they grew a spine too.

  “When’s the baby due?” Nico asked.

  “August.”

  “That’s the time of our first anniversary,” commented Nico, his warm hand reminding her of how lucky she was to be sitting here with this man who was now a part of her life, instead of that man opposite her. Connor would have made her life miserable.

  “A year,” she said, gazing into Nico’s shining eyes.

  “We’ll go back to Venice?” he suggested. She thought back to that moment when he’d come looking for her in Venice, when he’d given her the bracelet, when it had all started, the point at which they were fated to be together. “Venice,” she said, her collection of happy memories from that time making her heart sing. Elisabetta had been conceived there, and perhaps by the time of their first anniversary it would be time to make baby number two.

  She snuggled closer to him, resting her head against the hollow of his neck and forgetting, or not caring—she wasn’t sure which it was—that Connor was still here.

  “I hope you’ll be happy, Connor,” she said. “It sounds like a new start for you.”

  He didn’t say anything, except nodded. “And this,” he said, pulling out an envelope from his jacket pocket. “This is the rest of it. I’m sorry it’s taken me so long to pay it all back.” She froze, staring at him in disbelief. Her heart pounded hard and slow and her stomach filled with tiny fissures of ice. He wasn’t to know that she’d never told Nico about the money. It wasn’t his fault but at this very moment she hated him all the same.

  A spell of silence fell over her, and she couldn’t think of what to say or how to respond. She wasn’t sure what Nico would make of it. She wasn’t sure how to explain it, any of it—the money and the unintended deceit.

  “You told me you’d pay her back within the month and that was five months ago.” Nico’s voice was barbed, his tone acidic. She spun around.

  He knew?

  “I’m sorry. I—I tried my best,” stammered Connor, standing up. “I’ve paid back the entire $10k now what with the $8K I gave you a few weeks ago.” He turned to address her but she only wanted to burrow deep into the undersides of the sofa cushions, like a biscuit crumb, small and insignificant and out of sight.

  “You should be disgusted with yourself.” Nico’s face darkened like thunder.

  “I’m sorry,” Connor repeated and she could tell by his tight expression that he was anxious to leave. “I’m sorry for a lot of things.” Somehow she sensed that this was it—the final good bye, that they wouldn’t see much of him anymore, that he would soon become wrapped up in his new family and there was no need for her to ever run into him again. In a way, she hoped so. Their paths would probably never cross again once she returned to Verona.

  “When’s the wedding?” Nico asked, standing up and pulling her up with him.

  “We haven’t talked about a wedding, yet.”

  “Weddings aren’t your strong suit, are they?” Nico shot back.

  “Nico.” Ava silenced him with a harsh stare.

  “Goodbye,” said Connor. He held out his hand for her to shake. It seemed an odd gesture, but nothing else would be fitting. She shook hands with him and he waved pathetically at Elisabetta, who was busy trying to grab the plastic hanging mirror on the baby bouncer.

  Ava walked him to the door. “Goodbye, Connor,” she said. “And good luck.”

  “You too.”

  Her heart thumped like a wild galloping horse as she returned. Nico had taken Elisabetta out of the rocker and held her in his arms. With her insides feeling hollow she waited for the explosion but all he said was, “We’d better leave. Carlos will be waiting.”

  She eyed the envelope still lying on the table. “How did you know?”

  “Not from you, that’s for sure.”

  “I tried to tell you.”

  “Tried?”

  “I did try but you always hated it when I mentioned his name.”

  “Maybe you didn’t try hard enough.”

  “That’s not true.”

  He turned his back on her and picked up Elisabetta’s coat, ignoring her as if he didn’t want to discuss the matter further.

  “How long have you known?” she asked, wishing he would erupt and get angry. She preferred that to his cool and collected manner.

  “I’ve known since the last time I was here.”

  That long ago?

  She stepped back in surprise and watched as he balanced Elisabetta on his lap, gently threading her arms, one by one, into the sleeves of her fluffy cream coat. “It’s ironic when I look back on it now, how angry you were with me for not telling you the truth about the warehouse fire. I did it to protect you, I did it so that you wouldn’t worry and stress over it on our honeymoon. And all you could do when you found out was get mad at me. So much for your ‘no secrets and lies’. And yet you thought nothing of keeping a $10K loan to your ex a secret from me.”

  “I didn’t lie about the money.” It was a weak attempt at recovering herself.

  “You didn’t lie about it, you just didn’t tell me and that’s almost as bad as lying to me—especially when it concerns your ex-lover.”

  She hated him using that word. Tossing it at her like a grenade. “I’m sorry, Nico.” But he wasn’t listening to her.

  Chapter 34

  “Thanks. That was quite a feast you put on,” said Nico, taking the opened bottle of beer from Carlos.

  “Don’t mention it, buddy. We hardly ever get to see you guys. It was a pleasure.”

  The two men had come outside onto the porch for a breather. They held their bottles up. “To life with the Ramirez women,” said Nico, referring to Ava’s maiden name.

  “We couldn’t live without them.”

  The two men clinked their bottles together.

  “No,” said Nico, slowly, he couldn’t live without Ava. They had eaten a huge dinner and it had turned hot and stuffy inside. The slight chill outside cooled his skin. Lights from the surrounding houses on the quiet street glittered like golden sequins in the velvet night and Nico was almost content. His belly was full. All hell was breaking out indoors with Elsa and her daughters sitting in the living room talking and Tori playing. He knew Ava would keep a close eye on her niece because Tori got over excited when Elisabetta was around and treated her like one of her play dolls, prodding her and examining her. She most probably would have tried to lift her if Ava hadn’t been around.

  “You seem kind of quiet tonight,” observed Carlos. “Everything alright with you, buddy?” Nico knew he and Ava weren’t good at hiding their iciness. The truth was, it hit harder than he thought it would—this whole business about her lending money to Connor. It wasn’t even the money so much. His wife was the type of person who would help anybody, which was why he didn’t put it past that slime ball of her ex to ask someone like her for money. But she was also a shrewd businesswoman, even with that heart of gold and he knew she would have claimed it back at some point. What hurt the most was that she’d hidden the whole transaction from him. Her defense when he’d questioned her had been weak and flimsy. It wasn’t true that she’d tried to tell him. How many chances had he given her to come clean?

  “’Course, if you’d rather not say…”

  “It’s…” He shook his head then put the bottle to his lips. There was no use in involving Carlos in any of this. He took a big gulp and thought about it some more. Maybe he needed to get it out of his system. “Beachcroft turned up at the apartment before we left.”

  “Connor?”

  Nico nodded.

  “What the hell for?”

  “He said he wanted to see Elisabetta.”

  “Ava’s been here all this time and he only thought to come now? Did he know you were here?”

  Nico shook his head. “He looked surprised when he saw me, so I guess not. I d
on’t think it was because of Elisabetta. He came because he had news to share, or offload, depending on how you look at it.”

  Carlos raised a thick bushy eyebrow. “What kind of news?”

  “He’s having a baby, apparently. With the woman he cheated on Ava with.”

  Carlos shiny brown eyes opened wide and his hand clutching the beer bottle hovered in mid-air. “Are you kiddin’ me?”

  “You know about that?” Nico asked, surprised.

  “Well, not because Ava told me…but, you know how tight sisters are.”

  Nico shrugged.

  “Of course, I don’t know who he cheated on her with. All I knew was that the sleaze ball ditched her a couple of weeks before the wedding. Are you sure it’s the same woman?”

  “That’s what it sounded like. She’s leaving her husband, too.”

  Carlos slapped his hand across the back of his neck. “Well, I’ll be damned. That no good sonofabitch.”

  “Ava said they deserved one another.”

  “They sure as hell do.” Carlos turned and pointed at him with the bottle. “Is that why you’re mad at her?”

  “I’m not mad at her,” Nico proclaimed.

  “No?” Carlos sounded as if he obviously thought otherwise.

  “Why would I be mad at her about that? It sounds to me as if she was the one who was wronged.”

  “Then what are you mad at her about? The two of you didn’t even speak to one another over dinner.”

  “She loaned him some money a few months’ ago.”

  “She did?”

  “It was last year, some time. He needed $10K.”

  Carlos spluttered on his mouthful of his beer. “$10K? But he’s a lawyer! Why’s he short of money?”

  “No idea,” said Nico, draining his bottle dry. “The man’s an asshole.”

  “He is,” replied Carlos.

  “I’ve never liked him.”

  “Me neither.”

  Silence fell as the two men bonded in their unified contempt towards Ava’s ex. “So…” Carlos’ brow crinkled into tiny creases. “You’re mad at her because she gave him the money?” More silence. “Shouldn’t you be mad at him for asking her in the first place?”

  “That too,” drawled Nico. “I hate the man. You know I hate the man, right?”

  Carlos nodded.

  “But I’m mad at her for not telling me.”

  “She gave him $10k and never told you?”

  “That’s right. But I knew because Connor mentioned it to me last year. Do you remember when I came over to find a warehouse and you helped me to move stuff out of his garage?”

  Carlos nodded. “You knew then?”

  “I knew then and I’ve been waiting for her to tell me ever since and she never did and today he comes over and gives her a check in front of me and that’s how it all came out.”

  “And you’re mad at her for what?”

  Nico looked at Carlos in confusion. “She could have told me. She made a big enough deal about me keeping the warehouse fire from her. We’ve had all week together. I can’t see how she didn’t find the right moment to tell me. And then I find out that he gave her $8K a couple of weeks ago. How could she not have told me?”

  Carlos wiped his hand across his brow and shook his head. “I don’t know, buddy.” The two men grew silent and after a while Nico started again. “You can’t have secrets not with your ex. She shouldn’t even have been in touch with him.” He paused, remembering Silvia. “It all seems like one big mess with one thing after another. Things haven’t been that easy for us lately.”

  “You’ve had a lot going on,” Carlos agreed. “I think you need to cut yourselves some slack. A baby, and all those business headaches you’ve both got going on. It’s a wonder you’re not strangling one another.”

  “You could say we’ve tried, metaphorically, although Ava’s too sophisticated to want to strangle me,” chuckled Nico. “And my anger is more of the deadly but quiet kind.”

  Carlos laughed. “I’m planning on being with Rona for the rest of my life but living with someone forever has got to be one of the hardest things.”

  Nico nodded in agreement. “I never expected it to be this hard. I thought being married protected you against that.”

  Carlos snorted. “I’m still trying to figure it out, buddy.” His face became more serious. “Marriage is the hardest thing. Don’t get me wrong,” he said, shaking his head. “I love that woman to death and I’d do anything for her, but she drives me insane on more than four days of the week.” Nico stifled a laugh. He knew what Rona could be like. “But I can’t imagine my life without her,” continued Carlos. “I love her. I love her despite her crazy, illogical reasoning and her belief that the world spins around her.”

  “And I love Ava because she makes me a better me.” Nico winced. “My problem is I end up taking my business frustrations out on her. I can be a miserable little shit to live with.”

  “Sometimes it’s better to get it out of our systems. Women have coffee mornings specifically designed for this, did you know that? They actually sit in groups with their friends in a coffee shop talking about things. Dude, they sit around dissecting and analyzing a problem like it’s some kind of lab rat.”

  “I think it’s called ‘gossip’.”

  “Whatever,” said Carlos. “But, see, we’re not like that. We keep it all in and I’m not sure that’s a good way of handling it.”

  “Hmmmm.” Nico agreed.

  Carlos glanced over his shoulder before edging closer to Nico. “This goes nowhere but you recall that time in Verona when I got into a fight in the parking lot at your hotel?”

  He did remember, just like he vaguely recalled how tense things were between Carlos and Rona around the time of his wedding. “Was that around the time Tori went missing?”

  “Yeah.” Carlos coughed. “She had a flirtation back in Verona.”

  “I figured.”

  “You knew?” Carlos asked.

  Nico nodded, giving it up reluctantly. “Not because Rona told me…but, well, sisters being tight and all that. I don’t think we’ll have any secrets between us—it sounds to me as if Rona tells you everything, and Ava tells me everything.”

  “Doesn’t surprise me,” said Carlos. “See, this is what I mean, they like to talk… But as for that episode—nothing happened. Nothing like that.” He seemed resolute in his belief. “She maybe had dinner with him a few times, might even have kissed him a couple of times.”

  “And you were okay with that?” He didn’t understand how Carlos could stand there so calmly. If it were him he’d want to gouge the man’s heart out. “She kissed a man and you didn’t mind?”

  “I did mind, once I found out and I was—to use your expression—a miserable little shit to live with. I gave her the silent treatment.” He lifted his bottle but it was empty. “I took her for granted,” said Carlos. “It’s no excuse, but it was kind of my fault too. I was working way too hard, all those nights at the restaurant. And all she wanted was for me to notice her, to let her know I was there for her, to let her see that I still found her attractive. I guess,” he paused. “I guess it went way deeper than that though, I guess she needed to know that she mattered. But we worked through it and we’ve been tight ever since. Sometimes, it takes a shock, it takes for something to happen for you to see that you already have the world at your fingertips.”

  Amen, thought Nico. He already knew that.

  “Now she wants another baby.”

  Nico smiled widely. “Another baby?” Tori was eighteen months old now and the timing seemed about right. But Carlos didn’t seem to share in the excitement. “You don’t look so keen.”

  “Oh, just-uh, you know, the cost of it and all that. I don’t mind working hard for my family, but I guess I need some time to get used to the idea. Rona won’t want to work once we get pregnant.”

  “Ava will always have a job for her, I’m sure.” That was, if she still had the store. He decided not
to add to Carlos’ worries by mentioning that Ava was thinking of selling the business.

  “Rona’s not the type to manage two children and work, not even doing part-time hours. She’s not Ava,” said Carlos, smiling. “But we’ll see how it all works out. It will work out, ‘cos it has to, right?”

  Nico couldn’t help but agree. He liked Carlos’ outlook on life and the fact that this huge bear of a man didn’t let anything frazzle him too much. That he took everything in his stride, unlike Nico, who seemed to get wound up over the smallest of things. He liked Carlos a lot, and more than anything, he liked that he and this man were more than friends—they were part of the same family.

  “Another beer?” Carlos asked, turning towards the door.

  “Are you going back in?” Nico asked.

  “Hell, no!” Carlos cried. “I’m getting our beers and coming back out.”

  “Good idea,” said Nico smiling. They’d be returning to Verona tomorrow, and it would be a while before he got to trade advice with someone who understood him so well.

  Chapter 35

  “That’s wonderful news,” said Ava, feeling a sense of joy as she sat back in her chair.

  A second baby for the Hardings. Baby news was always happy news.

  “I told my husband I don’t have the energy to sue. All that time and effort, and money and stress. We’re happy our son is okay.” Gwen Harding’s words were sweet music to Ava’s ears. The news couldn’t have come at a better time for her especially since they’d received notice from the Dawson’s attorney that a lawsuit had been filed against them for injuries caused to their daughter.

  They had arrived back a week ago and today she’d come to the hotel in order to organize her office which had been neglected ever since she’d had Elisabetta. She wanted to rearrange the furniture and create more space. It felt like starting over.

  “I’m very happy for you, Gwen,” said Ava. At first when she’d answered the call, the sound of an American voice and mention of the word ‘crib’ had her worried. But Gwen Harding’s announcement that they would no longer be pursuing a lawsuit was news worth celebrating—even in light of what was happening with the Dawsons. But she didn’t want to think about the ramifications of a lawsuit now.