by Deb Kastner
Somehow, he encouraged himself, he would instinctively know when the time was right for him to speak. And this wasn’t it.
Yet.
He shoved his hands in his pockets and rocked back on his heels, mentally distancing himself from the captivating woman before him. He tried to speak, but his words came out hoarse and raspy.
He cleared his throat and tried again. “Is tomorrow too soon?”
Jess shook her head.
“I thought I would talk to Vince and then go into Boulder to order materials for the fireplace. I don’t know how long it will take me.”
“It doesn’t matter,” she assured him, her big brown eyes glowing incandescently. “Tomorrow would be just perfect.”
Jessica seated herself on a rocking chair in the corner of the day care nursery, tucked Gracie onto her lap, and then coaxed the warm bottle of formula into the baby’s mouth. She smiled as Gracie reached out and propped the bottle with her own little fists.
Gracie was not only pulling herself up to a standing position when she was in her crib, but she was starting to show some manual dexterity, as well.
Babies grew into little girls too quickly, Jessica thought, with a mixture of joy and downheartedness. It would not be long now before Nate was chasing Gracie all over the mountain.
If he was around that long. She had so hoped that when he’d said he’d made some decisions, that he had meant he was going to stay at Morningway Lodge.
But he hadn’t said that.
As she stared down at the sweet baby who’d completely won her heart, melancholy washed over her in black waves. She wondered if she’d get to see Gracie walking and talking and growing into a busy toddler.
She hoped so. With her whole heart, she wanted them to stay.
And if she were being honest, it wasn’t just Gracie she would miss when they left. There was Nate to think of, as well.
Strong, charming, honorable Sergeant Morningway.
She smiled tenderly when she thought of Nate. He’d been so convinced that he was going to run into resistance when he’d approached his brother with the fireplace idea, and had been genuinely astonished when Vince gave him—albeit grudgingly, Nate had assured her—consent to do the work.
And so for the past three weeks he had been dropping Gracie off at the day care early every weekday morning and taking off to work on his new project. He had the unfettered enthusiasm of a little boy in a toy shop. It was, Jessica mused, quite contagious. She couldn’t seem to stop smiling these days, what with Nate running energetic mental circles around her.
She couldn’t even really say it surprised her that he’d made it a practice to seek her out after hours as well. The fact that she visited his cabin as often as he came to hers was beside the point.
When Nate and Gracie weren’t around, her life seemed conspicuously empty and quiet. While she used to consider the silence as a measure of her serenity, it was now a constant aching reminder of the past, and she found herself counting the minutes until she would see Nate and Gracie again.
They’d fallen into a comfortable routine. Nate picked her up in the morning, saying it was silly to drive two cars when he was headed in the direction of the day care anyway. Then, when he picked Gracie up in the evening, he waited around to drive Jessica home.
It only seemed fair that if he was going to ferry her about, the least she could do was cook him dinner. And then the next evening, he’d reciprocated, fixing her a killer omelet for supper. One evening led to another, and before Jessica realized it, the pattern had been set.
Much to her surprise, Nate had even accepted her invitation to accompany her to church the previous Sunday. She didn’t know why she had felt compelled to ask him at all, given that he was not a religious man, and she certainly hadn’t expected him to agree.
Now she wondered if he might not start attending church with her on a regular basis. And what, if anything, that meant about his relationship with God.
Speaking of Nate, she thought as she brought Gracie up to her shoulder for a burp, where was the man? She had expected him to arrive to take her home by the time she had finished feeding Gracie her bottle, but he was apparently running late.
When another half hour quietly passed and Nate still hadn’t come to pick her up, Jessica started to worry in earnest.
Had something happened to him? Had there been an accident, maybe?
He’d told her that morning that he was going to be working on the roof today, building a chimney. What if he’d slipped and fallen?
She chastised herself for being a silly goose and turned her attention to Gracie.
“Hey, baby girl,” she said, brushing her fingers through Gracie’s soft curls, “what do you say we have a little fun with your hair?”
Gracie clearly didn’t think that Jessica gathering her curls into a sprout on the top of her head and weaving a rubber band around it qualified as fun. She squawked and she wiggled and she even tried to slide off Jessica’s lap, but Jessica just laughed and followed her movements until she’d achieved the look she desired.
How delightful Gracie looked bobbing her head with the little ponytail in place on top. That was why little girls were so much fun, Jessica thought, at once happy and sad. It was fun to play with their hair and dress them up in plush velvet and sparkly red shoes.
There were so many things she missed about Elizabeth, and so many more she would never see.
Jessica shook herself mentally, not wanting to entertain her morose feelings any further. Gracie was here in front of her, and that was all that mattered. Time moved so quickly. She needed to grasp the moment and live for now.
Sitting cross-legged on the indoor-outdoor carpet that covered the day care floor, Jessica willed her mind into the present, where Gracie was merrily pounding away on a toy xylophone and singing in a language all her own.
How could Jessica not find joy as she interacted with baby Gracie?
But when yet another half hour had passed, she decided it was time for action. She didn’t have her SUV with her, but the day care van, complete with a car seat, was parked behind the building and she had the keys.
Without letting herself think too much about it, she bundled Gracie up and headed for the main lodge. Nate had no doubt simply lost track of the time, but she couldn’t wait another second to know for sure.
She tried to remain calm, telling herself not to panic for no good reason, but to no avail.
Despite her best efforts, she mentally worked herself into such a state as she drove that she half expected to see an ambulance in front of the lodge, or at the very least a crowd of concerned onlookers; but upon approaching, the lodge was as quiet as ever, and Nate’s Jeep was parked in the front lot.
She breathed a sigh of relief, mentally chastising herself for her own stupidity. It wasn’t like her to let her imagination run away with her.
With Gracie in her arms, she beelined for Jason Morningway’s room.
When she knocked, it was Nate’s smooth baritone that bid her to enter, and it was his beaming gaze that caught her eye the moment she stepped into the room.
Nate was sitting at the dining table with his father, a soda in his hand.
“Jess!” he exclaimed, bounding toward her and giving her an enthusiastic hug before sweeping Gracie into his arms. “What a surprise. What are you doing here? Is something the matter?”
Jessica arched an eyebrow and pointedly looked at her watch.
Nate looked at his own watch and then back at her, his expression genuinely surprised.
Jessica laughed. “So you lost track of the time, did you?”
He hung his head in mock shame, but he was still smiling. “I did. And I left you stranded and starving, no doubt. And speaking of stranded—how did you get to the lodge?”
“Compliments of the day care van,” she answered, and then looked over his shoulder at the mostly finished fireplace. Nate had built it against the outside wall in gray stone. Though brand-new, it had an aged qual
ity about it that Jessica recognized as exceptionally superior workmanship.
“Oh, Nate,” she exclaimed, clapping her hands in delight. “It’s gorgeous!”
“If not yet fully functional,” he added with a grin. “Soon, though, Pop. I promise.”
“You don’t hear me complaining,” Jason said, wheeling his chair around to face them. “I’m just enjoying your company. Now hand me my little granddaughter so I can give her a kiss.”
Nate laughed and handed Gracie off to his father. “You got it, Pop. Hey…look at that, why don’t you?”
He tapped his finger against Gracie’s little sprout of a ponytail and laughed as it bounced. “Oh, man. Now that is what this little girl is missing, having to stay with a grumpy old marine. I’m never going to be able to do the hair thing with her. It’s a good thing she’s got you around for a female influence, Jess.”
Jessica’s heart welled as she watched the scene unfold and ingested Nate’s compliment to her. Gracie’s presence took years off Jason’s features, and Nate’s eyes were glowing with pride and joy.
Nate squeezed her shoulder. “How about I follow you back to the day care so you can drop off the van, and then I can take you home?”
Jessica nodded. “That sounds good to me. I’m starving.”
“And I’m cooking,” he assured her with a grin. “It’s the least I can do to make up for the way I abandoned you like that.”
Jason laughed along with Jessica.
“Okay, Pop,” Nate said, scooping Gracie back into his arms. “I’ll be back first thing tomorrow morning to keep working on the fireplace.”
“You take good care of that baby girl. And that lovely lady,” Jason teased with a wink. Jessica blushed.
Nate chortled and swung Gracie into the air, making her squeal with delight. “You can count on it.”
“C’mon,” Nate said as he and Jessica exited his father’s apartment. “Let’s go out the side door. I have something I want to show you.”
Once outside, he reached for her hand and practically dragged her to the corner of the building. His enthusiasm was absolutely contagious, Jessica thought, laughing aloud as she jogged beside him. He was definitely unlike any other man she’d ever known, a delightful cross of all man and little boy.
“I’ve set the pipes for the flue,” he explained, pointing toward the roof. “Now I’m working on stoning off the chimney. After that, all that’s left for me to do is call in the county inspector to make sure everything is up to code. Then Pop can stoke it as high as he wants and enjoy the heat.”
“And the view,” Jessica added. “The fireplace is just beautiful, Nate. You did a fantastic job. I know your father appreciates it.”
Gracie squealed and clapped her hands together as if in agreement.
Jessica giggled and pointed to the baby. “See? Even Gracie thinks so.”
Nate’s eyes warmed with pride.
“My girls,” he said huskily. “I don’t know how I ever got along without you two.”
His words had an immediate effect on Jessica, who felt heat flooding her face. Her throat constricted and burned until she was dizzy with the need for air. And it didn’t help her one bit that Nate’s gaze never left her face. She probably would have passed out cold right there on the spot had Gracie not distracted them both.
The baby clapped again, her little hands missing each other as often as they connected. She bounced in Nate’s arms, her legs pumping in excitement.
“Da-da!” she crowed triumphantly.
Nate held the baby at arm’s length, looking at her in amazement, his jaw literally dropping.
“Did you hear that?” he asked Jessica, his voice hoarse with emotion.
“Da-da,” Gracie repeated, as if making certain Nate had, in fact, heard what he’d thought he’d heard. “Da-da-da-da-da-da.”
Jessica knew Gracie was simply testing out her consonants, but her timing couldn’t have been any better. Sure, the baby may not yet have connected the words to the person, but it was the adult response that would teach her what the words meant. And Jessica couldn’t imagine anything taking the moment away from the beaming new father.
“I think she’s proud of you, too, Da-da,” Jessica said, excitement threading through her voice.
“Da-da,” Nate repeated, wonder in his voice. “Her first word was Da-da.”
“Well, of course it was, silly,” she said, laughing at Nate’s astonished expression. “What else would it be? You are the center of her little world, you know.”
Hugging Gracie close, he whooped in delight and then reached for Jessica, fastening his arm around her waist and dragging her against him. He lifted her clear off her feet and swung her round and round.
Talk about being swept off her feet! It was Jessica’s last conscious thought.
She laughed. Gracie laughed.
And Nate froze, his grip loosening enough for Jessica to find her footing. She was glad he continued to prop her up by his side, or she thought she might have melted right into the ground.
And then she looked up.
The smile on Nate’s face faded and his eyes grew warm and golden. His free hand slid up her arm and splayed across her cheek.
“Jess?” His voice was husky, the word hovering somewhere between a question and a statement.
Jessica couldn’t have answered him if her life had depended on it. Nor could she help her response, which was more natural even than breathing. She tipped up her chin and leaned in to him, an infinitesimal movement, but laced with meaning.
It was all the answer he needed.
Ever so slowly, he tilted his head to one side and brushed his lips over hers. It was the softest, briefest butterfly-wings of a kiss, but it sent Jessica over the moon and back again.
In that moment, she forgot all the reasons why this couldn’t—and shouldn’t—happen.
There was just Nate—his glowing eyes, his warm breath, his strong arms.
She wanted this. She wanted to be right here, right now, with this man. Tomorrow would be soon enough for regret.
He might have pulled back, but Jessica clutched onto his shirtfront and drew him forward.
That was all it took. He smiled, tunneled his fingers through her hair and kissed her again.
Just as their lips met for the second time, Jessica felt another hand in her hair. Gracie bunched up her little fist and pulled, and then laughed as if she understood her own joke.
Still locked warmly within their circle of three, Jessica and Nate laughed right along with her.
Chapter Ten
Nate’s world was in overdrive, and all because of one little kiss. Okay, so maybe technically he’d gone in for seconds, but who could blame him.
Jess certainly had him off-kilter. He was a man who liked to act, not sit around mulling over his emotions. Yet here he was, checking and rechecking his handiwork on the chimney, knowing he ought to be concentrating solely on the final test to come and on whether or not this project of his was actually going to work and not smoke out the entire lodge.
He knew he should be nervous.
Instead, he was thinking about how similar his current emotions, those he experienced whenever he was with Jess, were to those of when he’d first received guardianship of Gracie.
Overwhelmed.
Confused.
Was this what it felt like to be in love?
He wished Ezra were here. He would know what Nate should do, or at least he would have had his back, leaving Nate feeling less exposed and vulnerable.
He remembered back to when Ezra first met Tamyra. Up until that day, Ezra had been a committed bachelor, just as Nate was. And then suddenly his friend was out to conquer the world, and he’d had the energy and confidence to back that up.
It had come, Nate knew, from the love of a good woman. Tamyra changed Ezra’s whole outlook.
Ezra would have added his renewed faith in God, which seemed to go hand in hand with Ezra and Tamyra’s deepening relationship. At t
he time, Nate had chalked it up to a man molding his life to please a woman, but now he was not so sure.
Had there been more to Ezra’s faith? Was that what his friend had been trying to tell him?
Nate ran his fingers along the edge of the dried cement all around the stones, making sure there were no cracks in his handiwork.
For his part, Nate had teased Ezra unmercifully, and he’d certainly never understood what had come over his friend, not only to give up his bachelor freedom, but to step into the heavy-duty responsibility of being an active-duty marine, a husband and, eventually, a father.
There was a good reason Nate had never pursued a serious relationship with a woman, for who would willingly want to take on the life of a military spouse? He wouldn’t have wished that on any of the women he’d dated over the years, and so he’d kept things simple, and the women at arm’s length.
Or at least he’d thought that was the reason he’d remained emotionally distant.
Until now.
Until Jess.
Maybe the honest truth was he’d just never met the right woman—a woman who not only turned his head, but his heart.
Nate climbed down the ladder, only half aware when his feet met solid ground. With a grunt, he collapsed the twelve-foot ladder and carried it to the back of the building, where lodge guests wouldn’t accidentally trip over it in their comings and goings. He would have put the ladder away, but the toolshed was already full to overflowing, and he thought he’d probably need it to climb back on the roof for the county inspection.
Funny, but now that he’d been thrust into a role of responsibility for another person, an unexpected new father figure for baby Gracie, becoming a family man didn’t seem so bad.
Overwhelming, to be sure.
But not bad.
He’d never imagined that having someone depending on him for his well-being would feel so—good.
And never, ever, in a million years would he have imagined he could love someone as much as he did that baby girl.
If only his relationship with Jess was as straightforward and uncomplicated as his relationship with Gracie. He had less trouble reading Gracie’s mind than he did trying to figure out what Jess was thinking.
