Casting Down Imaginations

by LaShanda Michelle

“I know how long it’s been Karen,” he told me. “Me and that girl broke up a long time ago. We didn’t even last two months.”

  That bit of news surprised me, but I wasn’t letting him get off the hook that easily. “What do you want, Terrance? I got stuff to do.”

  “Look, all I’m trying to tell you is… girl, I can’t stop thinking about you.”

  I smacked my lips.

  “No, seriously, babe.”

  “Can you not call me that, please? Thank you.”

  “Sorry,” he apologized. “But look, seriously. Lately I been thinking about you non-stop. It’s like I dream about you every night. I know we broke up on bad terms, but I honestly think that—”

  “Bad terms? Bad terms!” Now I was pissed. “Terrance, you want to call smacking me down in front of everybody at school because I told you that I was pregnant with your child bad terms?”

  “Look, I know I was wrong for that, and I’m sorry,” he tried to explain. “But I just—”

  “I don’t have time for this. Forget my number,” I said, and hung up.

  six

  Anaya

  “Nya,” someone called out.

  I looked up to see Reese standing at the bottom steps of the sociology building I’d just walked out of. I was so happy to see him. I hurried over and kissed him on the lips.

  “Hey, baby,” he said, hugging me.

  I was beaming. It felt so good to be in a relationship with someone again. And he was too fine!

  “What are you doing here?” I asked him. “I thought we were meeting later on today.”

  “We are,” he told me. “But I wanted to come see about my baby.”

  I hugged him again and gave him another kiss.

  “You wanna go grab something to eat?” he asked.

  “Yeah. Where you wanna go?”

  “I got a taste for the burger place off campus.”

  I frowned. “You wanna go there?”

  “Yeah girl, that place has some real good food.”

  “Yeah, but it’s always crowded. I was thinking we could go somewhere more secluded. Like maybe your place.”

  He considered it for a moment. “Yeah, but I got a taste for a big ol’ jumbo bacon double cheeseburger.”

  That place must have something that gets you high in their food for him to pass up a chance of being with me.

  “Okay, baby,” I told him. “We can go. Do you want me to follow you there?”

  “Nawh, girl. You get in the truck with me. I’ll just drop you back off before your next class.”

  We walked arm in arm to his SUV where he opened the passenger door for me and helped me inside. Once we got to the restaurant, I sat down at a table while I waited for Reese to bring our food. While he was in line I noticed a lot of females talking to him. He seemed to be nice to them, I guess, but I didn’t like the way those females were acting. Tugging on his clothes and laughing like he was the funniest man in the world. I knew they were trying to flirt. They’d better watch themselves. I wasn’t scared to put a chick in her place when it came to my man.

  Well, Reese wasn’t my man, exactly. There had been no formal declaration that the two of us were strictly together. But I was the one he was with most of the time, so that made me his woman, and these girls needed to realize it. I didn’t share my steak with anyone. And the past couple of times we’d been together we did everything but go all the way, so he had to be my man.

  I sat there and watched him tell the girl behind the counter his order. Reese was fine. I was turned on just by watching him from across the room. It was only going to be a matter of time before I gave him the goods. It was kind of fast, but with Reese there could never be a too fast.

  Reese pulled out his wallet and gave the girl behind the counter money for the food. As she was giving him his change a female came behind him and gave him a hug. He turned around to see who she was, then his eyes darted in my direction to see if I was watching. I didn’t divert my attention. Whoever this tramp was, she needed to let go of him before I jumped up from this table. They didn’t know me in Daytown. I would act a fool over what was mine.

  After he got rid of the girl, he got our food and drinks and came back to the table.

  “Who was that?” I asked him. Neither one of us was in the mood to argue, but I had to let him know I didn’t like what I saw.

  “Just some groupie,” he answered nonchalantly.

  I nodded. I was discovering there were a lot of them around. But my man couldn’t help it. They came along with the territory. Any girl would do anything to get the privilege of being with him. He was a local celebrity. He was always working with different people, getting his name out there. He did shows in Dallas and Houston all the time, and he was even talking to someone to get statewide air play on the radio. My baby was about to blow up. And when he did, I was gonna be right there with him. These other girls didn’t have a chance.

  I decided to change the subject. “So, how’s that song you were working on the other night? Are you getting anywhere with it?”

  He stuffed a fry in his mouth. “Awh, man,” he said. “Adam and I stayed up so late working on that track. But we got it done though. Hopefully it’ll be ready so we can do it at the show in Dallas this weekend. You still coming with me, right?”

  Here we go again. I’d been telling him I had to study this weekend for the past three days.

  “You know I have to study.”

  “Come on, girl,” he whined. “I need you there with me.”

  “Baby…”

  He reached over and took my hand. “Come on, girl. I need you to be there for me.”

  As bad as I wanted to go, I just couldn’t. I’d been to those concerts before, and I was sure it would be just like all the others. It was going to start about ten thirty and end around two, and then everyone would go to the after party and drink and act a fool until they passed out, which was usually around six a.m.

  “It’s not that I don’t want to go,” I told him. “I just got too much work to catch up on. You know I told you I skipped the first two weeks of class. I’m lucky I’m still in school. I can’t afford to mess up, baby.”

  He shook his head, not wanting to give up. “You know I won’t be able to rock the crowd unless you’re in my corner.”

  “Yes you will,” I assured him.

  “No I won’t.”

  “Listen baby, when you do your next show in Daytown, I will be right there for you. I just got too much riding on next week and I can’t mess up.”

  He grunted. “Come on, girl…”

  “What about all of the times you rocked the show before you met me?”

  “I wasn’t nothing without you.”

  I was flattered. It felt good to be desired by a man of his caliber.

  “Come on, Nya…”

  “Alright, fine,” I surrendered. Maybe if I stayed up late Friday night studying I could stay backstage and study while Reese did his thing. That way I could make him happy and take care of my study needs at the same time.

  He stuffed food in his mouth, grinning from ear to ear.

  “But I’m going to be studying backstage. And no after party.”

  He gulped down some of his soda. “Hey, that’s fine with me baby,” he said. “As long as you there with me, I don’t care.”

  I felt someone’s eyes burning my back. I turned to see who was starring at me. Two girls sat at a table in the back of the restaurant by the door, and one of them watched me like she knew me.

  “What is her problem?” I asked aloud.

  He looked up. “Oh. That’s just Tasha.”

  “Tasha? Who the hell is Tasha, and why is she looking over here at me like she wanna do something?”

  He shrugged. “I don’t know.”

  He was lying.

  “Reese, who is she? And don’t say you don’t know because you just told me her name.”

  He smacked his lips. “She’s just some girl I used to mess around with, that’s all,” he
said, continuing to eat.

  I was becoming upset. “Messed around with? You mean you had sex with.”

  He looked like he didn’t want to have the conversation. but I just had to know.

  “Did you?” I asked.

  “Yeah,” he said. “You know, I hit that a couple of times. No big deal.”

  My chest hurt. No big deal? I couldn’t even look at him.

  “I know you ain’t mad,” he said, growing irritated. “That was before I even met you, so you can’t say nothing.”

  He had a point. But from the way she was looking at me, this couldn’t be something she took so casual. She was ready to fight.

  “Are you still having sex with her?” I asked.

  He put the drink he had in his hand down on the table. “Why does that matter?”

  “It does matter,” I told him, trying my best not to let my voice rise. The last thing I wanted to do was let Miss Thing back there know she was getting to me.

  “Why?” he wanted to know. “For the past few weeks me and you been getting down like we do, and you never had a problem with nothing before.”

  “Yeah, we have been,” I snapped. “But I want to know if I’m the only one.”

  “Does it matter?”

  The fact that he answered with a question gave me my answer. But I had to know anyway.

  “Yes.”

  “No, you haven’t been,” he answered. “But we aren’t officially together or anything. Me and you just been chilling.”

  “Reese, I’m not like that,” I told him. “I don’t just do things with people that I don’t intend on being with.”

  “You could have fooled me,” he said. “The day after we met you didn’t have a problem doing things to me. Now you wanna act like a good girl?”

  His words hurt. If I would have known my actions would be thrown in my face the way they just were, I never would have messed around with him. I never thought he would have treated me like a common whore. But you lived and you learned. Some guys just didn’t understand that a woman would do anything for the man that she loved.

  I retrieved my purse from the back of my chair, ready to walk out on him.

  “Where you going?” he asked.

  I didn’t answer. He grabbed my arm and pinned it down to the table, refusing to let me get up. I wanted to leave. Ol’ girl back there could have him because I would rather be alone than to be treated like this.

  “Look, I’m sorry alright,” he told me. “I shouldn’t have said what I said. But that’s not fair for you to be mad at me for something that had absolutely nothing to do with you.”

  “I’m not mad about that,” I told him.

  “Then what is it?”

  “You know what it is, Reese. Do not play stupid with me.”

  He continued to hold my arm on the table, not letting me go.

  “How many others?” I demanded.

  “Does it matter?”

  I glared at him.

  “Look, Anaya,” he said, looking me square in the eye. “As much as I like you, you are not my girlfriend. So you can’t be mad at me, acting like I cheated on you when technically we never even went together.”

  There was some truth to what he was saying. But I still wanted to know.

  “How many?” I repeated.

  “Two.”

  “Two people!” I exclaimed.

  His facial expression didn’t change. He honestly didn’t see anything wrong with what he just told me.

  “Why are you so upset?” he asked me.

  “Because I thought I meant more to you than that.”

  “Are you saying that you want to?”

  “Are you saying that I do?”

  “Are you saying that I do to you?”

  “Are you saying you want to?”

  He smiled and took my hand in his.

  “It’s been a long while since I had a girlfriend,” he told me. “With me in the music game, it’s hard to be down for somebody like that. I don’t know if I’m ready.”

  I smiled, knowing that he was going out on a limb by trusting me. “I want to be that somebody for you, Reese.”

  “Alright,” he said. “Then I guess I can let you be my girlfriend.”

  I leaned across the table and gave him a long and passionate kiss. I was sure that just about everyone in the restaurant stopped what they were doing and watched. But I didn’t care. Reese was officially my man and I wanted the whole world to know.

  “Come on, baby,” Reese said. “Let me get you out of here so you can go ahead and get to your next class.”

  “Are you sure?” I asked him. “You haven’t finished eating your food.”

  He looked down at his half eaten tray of food. “It doesn’t matter,” he said. “That kiss you just gave me can last me until tonight.”

  I gave him another kiss and we stood to our feet to leave. On our way out I gave Tasha a look that told her what used to be hers now belonged to me.

  seven

  ANAYA

  I flipped through the thick stack of notes in my hand, trying to sort out the definitions that I didn’t know so well in order to go over them more. I’d been sitting backstage for hours, trying my best to tune out the fuzzy microphones and thumping speakers that were part of Reese’s show. I tried to show him a little bit of support earlier by standing in front of the stage so that he could see me. But all of that noise gave me a headache, so I retreated back to my original location. It was almost two o’clock in the morning and I was exhausted. I just wanted to go home, take a nice hot shower, and get in the bed.

  Adam walked in. He looked tired, and he had sweat dripping all over him. The lights from the stage were bright and hot. All of the dancing and shouting on stage had drained him.

  “Can you pass me a towel?” he asked, pointing to the stack of towels on the table next to me.

  I passed him a towel and one of the bottled waters from the cooler on the floor.

  “Thanks.”

  He chugged the water down with almost one swallow and wiped his face.

  “Are you guys almost finished?” I asked.

  “Yeah,” he said. “Reese on there doing his last set.”

  More of Reese’s entourage walked in, all dripping with sweat.

  “Let’s go on ahead and start loading the truck so we can get outta here,” one of them said.

  The room filled with chatter about the after party they were all in a hurry to get to. I was glad Reese already agreed not to go. I was ready to go home.

  Adam turned to me. “You gon’ help us out, Anaya? Or are you just gonna sit there looking pretty?”

  “Ha,” I laughed aloud, standing to my feet. “You’re funny.”

  Just for kicks I decided to give him a show by twisting my hips and flicking my hair as I walked across the room. When I reached the door I turned to see if he watched. He did.

  I walked out of the room and back to the front where the show was. Reese was on the stage, walking back and forth, speaking into his microphone.

  “I got something for the ladies,” he said.

  The room filled with applause and screams from all the women enjoying the show. Most of the men walked to the back while the women ran to the front, all trying to get closer to my man.

  “How many of y’all wanna be my lady?” he asked.

  The girls whooped and hollered, trying to be the loudest one in order to steal his attention.

  “How about you?” he asked, pointing to one of the girls in the crowd.

  She jumped up and down and yelled, excited.

  “Do you wanna be my lady?”

  She nodded and threw her arms up in the air.

  “I been seeing you watching me, girl,” he said. “Haven’t you?”

  “Yes!” she shouted. One of the spotlights from the stage landed on her.

  “Come on up here, girl,” he instructed.

  She ran onstage as fast as she could.

  I gave her a review. She was dressed in a short
black halter mini dress that looked like latex, it was so tight. She wore a pair of black stiletto heels and a single slick flowing ponytail that went halfway down her back. She was the only girl in the room that almost had something on me. Her outfit made the cut off shirt, hot shorts and pumps I was wearing look like it came from the Bargain Barn. All of a sudden I didn’t like the way this was going.

  When she got next to Reese she threw her arms around him and hugged him.

  “Not yet mama, not yet,” he slowed her down.

  She pouted and mouthed the word ‘sorry’ to him while the crowd laughed.

  “I’m gon’ do a song for you,” Reese told the girl. “Would that make you happy, baby?”

  She nodded.

  A song for her? What about me? I thought I was… his baby.

  The beat to the track dropped and Reese started his song. The lyrics went on and on about how she was the finest thing that he laid eyes on in such a long time and how he wanted to know what was up with her. Her eyes grew big with delight as she danced in front on him and grinded against his body. I was shocked to see him on stage with her acting in that manner, groping her the same way that he had me so many times before.

  I turned around and stormed backstage. I couldn’t believe he had the nerve to do this to me. After I came all the way up here to watch his stupid show. I could have stayed home and gotten a lot more studying done and could have been in the bed asleep by now.

  “Alright, Nya,” Adam said when he saw me. “I knew you wasn’t that cold. You gon’ help us out after all?”

  I looked at him as if he had STUCK ON STUPID stamped on his

  forehead.

  “Boy…”

  “Boy? I ain’t been a boy since I was thirteen years old, girl. You better recognize.”

  A few of the fellas laughed.

  I smacked my lips. “Whatever,” I said, and rolled my eyes.

  Adam turned around to face his friends. “Hey y’all, I need a few minutes alone to talk to Nya.”

  Irritated moans and groans came from the group of men as they picked up supplies and equipment to take to the cars outside. A few warned him not to touch Reese’s girl or he was going to get hurt. Adam didn’t seem to care though, and waited for them all to leave.

  I sat down on top of the table that I was at earlier and waited for him to say whatever was so important that he had to clear the room.