Canyon

by Brenda Jackson

  He looked back down at her. “Do you love me, Keisha?”

  She swiped back tears. “Yes, I love you” she said softly. “But this is one of those times when loving someone might not be enough.”

  “I love you, and I have it from the best—my married brothers and cousins—that loving someone will always be enough,” he said. “More than enough,” he added, cupping her face in his hands.

  “But, baby, you have to believe it. You have to get off this guilt trip you’re on, and stop believing you’re to blame for every damn thing that goes wrong. You’re not perfect and neither am I. We’ve both made mistakes. Everyone has.”

  His eyes held hers. “What I want more than anything is to marry you. Not because of Beau, but because of us. We’re back together for a reason, Keisha, and I want to believe it’s because that’s where we should be. I want more than just Beau. I want us to have other kids, more Westmorelands to one day rule this land. Tell me you’ll marry me.”

  He watched how her lips trembled and the look in her eyes reflected uncertainty.

  When she didn’t answer, he dropped his hands and took a step back. “I need to get away for a while. I’m going over to Stern’s Stronghold. I’ll be back later.”

  “But it’s almost midnight,” she said.

  He shrugged as he slid into his jeans and put on his shirt. “He’s a late-nighter.” After slipping into his shoes, he said, “Go to bed and get some sleep.”

  Canyon left the room, taking the stairs two at a time. Before walking out the door he grabbed his cell phone off the table and saw he’d missed several calls. Only then did he remember that he’d placed it on vibrate while they’d been at McKays. Deciding he would check the missed calls later, he breathed in the mountain air the moment his foot touched his porch.

  Lord knows he was trying to be patient with Keisha, but she was wearing him thin. He didn’t want her for a lover. He wanted her as his wife. Canyon figured that until she came to terms with the issue of her father she would be weighed down by her inability to forgive, even when the only one needing that forgiveness was herself.

  As he unlocked the door and got into his car he knew he would do whatever it took to make her see that while he’d gone without her for three years, now that she and Beau were in his life, he didn’t intend to do without either one of them again.

  Canyon’s mind was so full of thoughts of Keisha and the marriage proposal she hadn’t accepted that he didn’t notice the dark vehicle deliberately hidden behind the tall sagebrush as he left Canyon’s Bluff.

  Thirteen

  Keisha slid into her robe, tightening the belt around her waist when she heard the sound of Canyon’s car driving away. The last thing she would be able to do was take his suggestion and get some sleep, so she decided to go downstairs for a cup of tea. She grabbed her cell phone off the nightstand planning to chat with her Mom. Knowing how her mother kept late hours, Keisha figured she would still be up.

  She saw she had missed a couple of calls from Detective Render and wondered if he’d tried calling her because there was a new development with her case. It was too late to return his call tonight, but she would do so first thing in the morning. She had promised Canyon that she would stay here a week and she had four days left. Her plans were to return home on Saturday. Thanks to Canyon her home was back in order, along with a new security system. She was glad because she refused to live in fear that someone out there wanted to do her harm.

  Yet, you’re willing to live in another kind of fear, her mind mocked. Fear of your own vulnerability.

  Keisha took a sip of the tea she’d just brewed and sat down at the kitchen table. And what about your inability to forgive? That’s the root of your problem. Are you trying to hold yourself to a higher standard than most people? Forgiving yourself for mistakes isn’t a crime. Maybe you ought to try it.

  Keisha sighed as she clicked her phone to call her mother. Lynn picked up within two rings.

  “Keisha? You okay?”

  She knew her mother found it odd that she was calling so late and Keisha quickly assured her she was fine. “Yes, I’m okay. I couldn’t sleep.”

  “What’s bothering you?”

  Keisha then told her mother what Grant had told her and Canyon about Bonita.

  Lynn said, “It wasn’t your fault, what happened to Bonita, and Canyon has forgiven you for the other mistakes, so why are you tormenting yourself? Why is it easier to deny yourself the man you love than it is for you to forgive anyone who you feel has done you wrong?”

  “Someone like Kenneth Drew?”

  There was a moment of silence on the other end of the phone and Keisha figured it was time she and her mother had that talk. “So, tell me, Mom, when was the last time you saw him?” She’d never asked her mother anything about the man who was her father.

  “I saw him today in fact.”

  Keisha nodded. That didn’t surprise her. “So you’ve forgiven him?”

  “Yes, I had to move on.”

  “Move on? Is that why you’re seeing him again?”

  She heard her mother’s sharp intake of breath. Keisha drew in a deep breath of her own and then said softly, “You gave yourself away without meaning to and that’s okay. You don’t need my permission do anything, you know. I just don’t want you to get hurt again.”

  “It might be hard for you to understand now, baby, but one day you will see that life is something you won’t be able to hang on to forever. That cancer scare three years ago showed me that. You should embrace life every day, with no regrets. Kenneth and I both made mistakes and he knows he’s hurt me. He knows he’s hurt you. He has tried to make things right.”

  “How? Just by claiming me as his because I look like him? Where was he when I was in school and you had to struggle to support me? What about when I was in college and law school and—”

  “He paid for that.”

  Keisha stopped talking. “Excuse me?”

  “Kenneth never wanted me to tell you, but he’s the one who paid your college tuition. All of it. Including law school. At first I wasn’t going to accept his offer, but I knew it was something he wanted to do. He and I both knew it wouldn’t erase the first fifteen years of your life, but he was hell-bent on giving you everything he could during the years after that.”

  Keisha was silent. All this time she’d assumed her mother had been too independent to accept anything from anyone, especially from a man who’d turned his back on her when she had needed him the most.

  “And another thing, Keisha,” her mother said. “He never married and neither did I. You’re his only child, and he says I’m the only woman he ever truly loved. He wants a life with me and doesn’t think it’s too late.”

  Keisha swallowed. “And what do you want, Mom?” she asked softly.

  There was a pause and then, “I want him, too. But then, I don’t want to lose my daughter.”

  Keisha hung her head. She should not be placing her mother in a position where she felt she had to choose. Could Keisha handle being the cause of her mother’s unhappiness?

  “Mom, I want you to be happy. Do what makes you happy. And no matter what, I will always be your daughter. Nothing will ever change that.” Keisha stood. “I made some tea and I need to finish it off and get back to bed. We’ll talk again later this week.”

  “Okay. They still haven’t found out who trashed your home?”

  “No, but I feel certain that they will. It’s just a matter of time. Denver has a wonderful police force.”

  After ending the call to her mother, Keisha headed for the front door with her cup of tea. She had enjoyed sitting on the porch last night. But then of course Canyon had been with her. Tonight he had been in a hurry to flee her presence. Opening the door, she drew in a deep breath. This was something she’d missed while livi
ng in Austin. The air was fresh, as well as calming and comforting, things she needed right now.

  Leaning against a post, she sipped her tea, watched the sky and tried to put her conversation with her mother to the back of her mind for now. She marveled at Canyon’s fascination with the solar system and knew there was a star up there he claimed as his. Well, now she would claim it as hers, as well. He believed the star had helped get him through a number of rough times in his life. Maybe that same star could help her.

  There was a moon tonight and stars aplenty. She wondered which one was Canyon’s. She figured it had to be the one that was the biggest and the brightest since he was known to do things on a grand scale.

  She’d never wished upon a star but hopefully it wasn’t too late to do so. Closing her eyes she made a wish, one that was her heart’s most ardent desire. She loved Canyon, and he loved her. They had a son to raise together, and tonight he’d asked her to marry him.

  Opening her eyes she looked up at the star and said aloud, “One of you up there is Canyon’s star and I’m making you mine, as well. I will be more forgiving, and I won’t blame myself for everything. I forgive myself. I am not to blame.”

  She smiled, feeling renewed. Rejuvenated. Taking another sip of tea, she turned around and then gasped, dropping the cup. She tried to steady her breath and calm her heart rate. She recognized the man standing there.

  Keisha opened her mouth to ask him what he was doing there, but stopped when he said in an accusing tone, “You’re wrong. You are to blame. You’re to blame for everything that has gone wrong in my life.”

  * * *

  “Is there a reason why you’re visiting me at this hour?”

  Canyon ignored Stern’s question as he studied the picture frames lined across the fireplace mantel. He asked a question of his own. “Do the women, the ones you bring here to the Stronghold, ever ask why you have so many photographs of you and JoJo around this place?”

  Stern chuckled. “Trying to change the subject, are we? Okay, I’ll give you this one. First of all, it’s none of their business. And second, they don’t question me because they know better. My friendship with JoJo is never to be questioned.”

  Now it was Canyon’s turn to chuckle as he turned around to face his brother. “Why? Because then you’ll have to explain how she kept Steven Edison from beating you up that day when the two of you were in middle school. Or how the only reason you won that high school swim trophy you still like to brag about is because she was on your team? Or how she is responsible for keeping your Corvette running like a charm? Or how—”

  “Now, why are you here again?” Stern interrupted to ask.

  Canyon plopped down into the chair. “I like visiting you after midnight.”

  “That’s bull and you know it. You have a tendency to hang out at the Bluff as if you’re guarding the place.” Stern smiled. “But that was before it was invaded by Keisha and my man Beau. I like him by the way. I plan on teaching him how to race cars when he grows up.”

  Canyon rolled his eyes. That was when he remembered those missed calls. It was too late to return them, but at least he could check to see who’d tried contacting him earlier that evening. Shifting his body, he pulled the phone out of his back pocket and noticed all three calls had been from Detective Render. There was also a text message…Call me when you see this text. No matter how late.

  “Detective Render wants me to call him,” he said to Stern.

  “Now?”

  Canyon shrugged. “The text said no matter how late. Must be important.” He clicked on the detective’s number and after two rings Render answered.

  “Render, this is Canyon.”

  “I tried calling earlier,” Render said.

  “I went out to dinner and had my phone on vibrate and didn’t hear it. What’s up?”

  “First, none of Ms. Ashford’s coworkers in Austin are being harassed so we don’t feel it’s connected to her former job. But there is something else we’re checking out. Ms. Ashford’s neighborhood has one of those monitoring video cameras at the entrance, and we noticed this car on her street the same day her house was trashed…and we also noticed it returned the day after and the day after that, as if checking the status of her home.”

  Canyon nodded. “Possibly a visitor to someone in Keisha’s neighborhood.”

  “That’s what we assumed but we pulled license plate records and this person made us curious.”

  “Why?”

  “Because he works at the law firm with Ms. Ashford. We did some further checking, and although he’s a model employee, his personal life turned to shambles a few years ago when his wife discovered he was involved in an illicit affair and filed for divorce. She actually caught him on a video having sex in their bedroom one weekend when she was out of town. She filed a restraining order last year when he kept harassing her, trying to get her to take him back.”

  Canyon rubbed his jaw, feeling tired and wondering where Render was going with this—until this particular story started to sound familiar. Mainly the part about a man being caught by his wife on video, having an affair. “Wait a minute,” Canyon said, straightening in his chair. “What’s the man’s name?”

  “Michael Jarrod. We went to his place to question him, and he wasn’t home. Talked to his neighbor, who said she hadn’t seen him all day. And we found out that he left early from work, claiming he’d gotten sick. You know him?”

  “No, but today someone mentioned a man who had an affair with his fiancée and the details were oddly similar. I need to check on something, and I’ll call you back.”

  Canyon clicked off and went through the contact list on his phone. Lucky for him he had exchanged phone numbers with Grant before the man had left their table to rejoin his friends. Canyon clicked on the number. It was late but…

  “Hello.”

  The man answered in a very sleepy voice. “Grant, this is Canyon. Sorry to bother you at this hour but something important came up, and I wondered if you can tell me the name of the married man that Bonita had an affair with.”

  “Yes,” Grant said groggily. “His name was Michael Jarrod.”

  A funny feeling settled in Canyon’s stomach. “Thanks, and again I’m sorry I woke you.”

  Canyon then called Render back and told him of the conversation with Grant at dinner. “I don’t know why a man who works with Keisha who had an affair with a woman who was once Keisha’s best friend would be coming into her neighborhood, three times in one week, but I’m going to find out. Maybe Keisha can shed some light on it,” Canyon said, standing. He ended his call with Render.

  Stern stared up at Canyon when he saw the concerned look on his brother’s face. “Something’s wrong?”

  Canyon was headed for the door. “No. I just need to talk to Keisha about something. I’ll talk to you later.”

  * * *

  “Michael? What are you talking about and what are you doing here?”

  Michael Jarrod came to stand in the moonlight and the look on his face was so serious that for the first time since knowing him, Keisha felt uncomfortable. “I’m talking about your friend. Bonita,” he said.

  Keisha lifted a brow. “Bonita? What about Bonita?” She vaguely recalled introducing Bonita and Michael several years ago, when Bonita had dropped by the firm. As far as she knew, their paths never crossed again.

  “That day you introduced us, she seemed nice and well mannered. Someone with class. So imagine my shock when I was at a club one night with friends and she walked in, ready to sleep with the first man she saw. We ended up having an affair that lasted three months before my wife found out. Linda divorced me and refuses to take me back, and it’s all your fault for introducing me to that woman.”

  Keisha thought she’d heard everything. But never had she heard anything so ridiculous in her life. Even sh
e wouldn’t claim blame for that one. “Michael, think about what you just said. You are responsible for your own actions. Introducing Bonita to you didn’t push you into betraying your wife by sleeping with her. That was your doing and not mine.”

  She tried keeping the anger out of her voice. Her going on a guilt trip of her own doing was one thing, but she refused to let someone else send her on one unjustly.

  “Besides,” she added. “Bonita had a split personality. That’s the reason she displayed one personality when you met her that day and another when you ran into her that night at the club.”

  “And you want me to believe that?”

  “It’s true.”

  He frowned. “Then you should have told me.”

  “I just found out recently.” She’d never known Michael to display anger. He’d been a really nice guy when she’d lived in Denver before. But she had noticed since she’d returned that he’d been less friendly and more withdrawn. One of the other attorneys at the firm had mentioned that Michael had gotten a divorce but hadn’t provided any details. Keisha figured the divorce was the reason he had started keeping to himself.

  “But that’s not the only thing I’m blaming you for.” Michael broke into her thoughts.

  Keisha was feeling more uncomfortable. Michael had no reason to be here, at one in the morning, standing outside on Canyon’s porch. Why was he here and how did he know where to find her? She hadn’t told any of her coworkers or Mr. Spivey where she was staying. Had he followed her? And why had he showed up when Canyon wasn’t here? Was that deliberate?

  “You left the firm right before I started going through my divorce,” Michael said, interrupting her thoughts. “To deal with the mess my life was in, I threw myself into my work and took on cases nobody else wanted. I felt I had a good shot at making partner. Then you messed things up by coming back. You were Spivey and Whitlock’s golden girl before. They thought you walked on water, and they were overjoyed when you decided to come back. They brag about the job you’re doing just because you’ve won a few cases. Now rumor around the firm says that you’ll make partner before I do. I was there when you got there. I was there when you left. It’s not fair, and it’s all your fault.”