Love's Masquerade

by Radclyffe

  “What about you?” Pritchard asked evenly. “You look like you have a fever—”

  “I’m fine, Abel.”

  “Are you having any bleeding?”

  “No.”

  His expression did not register his disbelief, but he’d gotten very good at judging her physical state from the degree of pain in her eyes. “Temple Hospital is out of the question, but the Hahnemann ER is only five blocks away. If you need—”

  “Damn it,” she whispered lethally. “I’m fine.”

  He stiffened. “If you do need anything—”

  “What I need is breakfast,” she pronounced, forcing a lighter tone. “How about you?”

  “I’ll have something in my room. I want to check in with Alana again.”

  “Abel,” Hays said quietly as the tall man turned away. “Thanks.”

  “Of course,” he answered as he slipped out the door.

  You can’t fix this, Abel. You have to let it go.

  Hays shut down the machine she was using and considered brunch. Auden will be there.

  She had no idea what she would say when she saw her, and she feared that she might see regret in Auden’s eyes. But she couldn’t deny that the only thing she’d truly wanted since awakening had been to see Auden again.

  *

  Auden and Gayle exited the elevator on the mezzanine level where the brunch was set up, joining many of the same people they’d socialized with the previous evening. More than a few were dressed in odd combinations of formal and leisurewear.

  “You did good with the shopping, Doc,” Auden whispered. “At least I’m not wearing heels with sweatpants.”

  “Thanks, I had fun,” Gayle replied, then tugged on Auden’s arm. “There’s Liz. Want to sit with her?”

  “Sure.” Auden followed Gayle’s gaze and saw the blond, in a stylish forest green brushed cotton pants suit, gesturing to them with a smile. “She came prepared.”

  “She lives about an hour outside the city, and she told me she had planned to stay for the weekend anyhow.”

  “Hey!” Liz called as they approached. “Have you looked outside? It’s amazing. Snowdrifts and whiteouts. We might as well be in Alaska.”

  Gayle and Auden returned the enthusiastic greeting, and the three of them joined the line for the buffet. When they’d completed the circuit and begun the serpentine journey between the tables back to their seats, Auden spied a lone diner and said impulsively, “Do you two mind if I leave you?”

  Gayle stopped in surprise, then looked where Auden was staring. A black-haired woman in a dark double-breasted jacket, white shirt, and jeans sat alone with a pile of papers spread out beside her plate. Her face in three-quarter view was sharply etched and perfectly sculpted. She was breathtakingly handsome. In a barely controlled whisper, Gayle asked, “Holy jeez. Is that her?”

  “You want to talk shop with the boss?” Liz interjected as Auden merely nodded. “You two are a matched set. Everyone says she does nothing but work.”

  “It’s early in the game,” Auden said offhandedly. “I just want to get a jump on things.”

  Gayle made a small snickering sound, and Auden shot her a mock-threatening look, but Liz didn’t notice.

  “Go ahead, Aud,” Gayle said with a grin. “I’ll catch you later.”

  *

  “Do you mind company?” Auden asked quietly.

  Looking up in surprise, Hays smiled and rose halfway. “Good morning. No, not at all. Please, sit down.”

  Auden settled her tray on the small round tabletop, then sat as Hays took her seat. Reaching for her coffee, Auden remarked, “This is nice of you. This brunch.”

  “Well, I’m grateful to the people who came last night, despite the bad weather forecasts. And hopefully, they’ll all be business associates soon.”

  “Mm-hmm. Just good business to be so thoughtful, huh?” Auden regarded Hays with a raised eyebrow and a half smile.

  Hays blushed, a rare event. “Something like that.”

  “It’s nice,” Auden said again softly.

  Hays tried but couldn’t help letting her gaze drift over Auden’s body. The red blouse would have looked good on any woman, but on Auden, complementing the faint hints of red-gold in her blond hair and subtly hugging her breasts, it was gorgeous. With the jeans, the glamour of the top was relegated to casually elegant, and Auden looked understatedly beautiful. “I see you even found shoes.”

  Smiling, Auden nodded. “Gayle surprised me with an early-morning raid on the shops, and she has excellent taste.”

  “She knows what looks good on you,” Hays murmured. You share a room, and she buys you clothes that are perfect for you, but you’re not lovers?

  Auden saw the question and caught the flicker of retreat in Hays’s eyes. “Gayle is my best friend. We’ve been shopping together dozens of times, and she knows my sizes as well as my tastes.”

  “I’m sorry.” Hays shook her head, discomfited by her transparency. She didn’t seem to be able to hide much from Auden, and that was highly unusual.

  “No need to be.”

  “How are you today?” Hays leaned forward slightly as she spoke, her dark eyes searching Auden’s.

  Spellbound, Auden watched the colors dance in Hays’s midnight irises. “Are you asking me about last night?”

  “Yes.” Hays’s voice was deep, husky. “I wasn’t going to, but I need...to know.”

  “I wasn’t going to bring it up either,” Auden murmured, “but I can’t pretend it didn’t happen.”

  “Are you sorry?” Hays drew a breath. “Are you upset? Auden, I never meant to upset you.”

  “I asked you to kiss me,” Auden reminded her quietly.

  “I...” couldn’t say no.

  “It complicates things just a bit, don’t you think?” Auden asked, unable to decipher the hesitation in Hays’s voice. “Professionally, I mean?” Her food lay untouched, the coffee forgotten. Help me understand what happened. Tell me what you feel.

  Hays’s chest tightened. “It has nothing to do with work. It never will.”

  “We’ll see each other every day.” Auden’s gaze held questions that she didn’t know how to ask. What did it mean? Why did you kiss me?

  There was something close to panic in Hays’s eyes now. Christ, she’s going to quit. “It won’t happen again. You don’t have to worry.” She raked a trembling hand through her hair. “Last night...it was, I don’t know...I wasn’t thinking. You were so...” beautiful, so alive, and I wanted you so. “I didn’t mean to offend you. If you feel I took advantage of my position—”

  “No, of course not.” Embarrassed, Auden shook her head. “Please, it’s not necessary for you to explain. I’m not upset. I just didn’t want there to be an issue between us.”

  “I want you at Palmer, Auden. I know it will work.”

  “I want to be there.” Auden struggled to ignore the swift jolt of disappointment. She only really cares about the work.

  “Good,” Hays said with a sigh of relief. “This has been an unusual weekend, to say the least.”

  Auden laughed shortly. “A bit of an understatement.”

  “Any...problems with anyone? Do all the authors seem firmly in our camp?”

  “Yes, I think so,” Auden replied, trying to focus on business and not the pulse beating in Hays’s throat. She wanted to put her fingertips there, to feel Hays’s heart beat the way it had inside her mouth hours before. “I feel confident about the ones who are here, at least. I’ve talked to all of them, and they’re eager. Thane was extolling the praises of an erotica series she’s working on.”

  Thane. First name. Cutlass moves fast. Hays reached for her toast and then realized that her hand was shaking badly. Fatigue. She pulled it back quickly. “She should be good at it if her novels are any indication.”

  “She promised me a preview this week.”

  Hays looked up sharply, but Auden’s attention was on her fruit plate. “She’s sending you a manuscript?”

 
; “Uh-uh. Just a sample.”

  “Ah, I see. A dry run to see if you like it.”

  Their eyes met and they both grinned. “Well, those weren’t her precise words.”

  No, I’ll bet they weren’t.

  “I believe she said she’d send me a taste so that I could see if it met my needs.” Auden smiled, remembering the almost self-mocking expression in Thane’s eyes as she’d said it. Auden had gotten the impression that the good-looking author wasn’t nearly as cocky as she appeared, or as confident as most people probably perceived her.

  “What do you think?” Hays asked.

  “About the erotica?”

  “Yes.”

  Auden studied Hays’s face. “Do you expect me to have an issue with it?”

  “It’s not romance fiction.”

  “No, but I wouldn’t dismiss it out of hand as having no appeal to our readers, either.” Auden speared a melon ball and turned the fork aimlessly as she reflected. “If one judges popularity by what sells, erotica anthologies are hot.”

  Hays grinned.

  “Stop.” But Auden was smiling, too.

  “I agree, but that doesn’t mean our readership will be interested in it,” Hays pointed out.

  “Is there any way to find out? A market study of some kind?”

  Intrigued, Hays straightened, her gaze narrowing in thought. “No one to my knowledge has ever looked at the demographics of the crossover between erotica and romance fiction.”

  “Could it be done?”

  “I don’t know—maybe.” Hays’s eyes glinted and her weariness seemed to drop away. “We could set up polls on the websites and fanfic lists—”

  “Which ones?”

  “Ours—”

  “What? Palmer’s?” Auden questioned, confused.

  “Uh...no.” Hays drew up short and realized that she’d forgotten that Auden didn’t know about Rune. Actually, no one other than Abel did. “Well, most of Destiny’s authors have websites. We could link a poll to those.”

  Auden sensed she had missed something, but she wasn’t sure what. Hays seemed suddenly subdued. “It bears looking into. I’ll talk to Liz about it.”

  “Good idea.”

  “In the meantime, I still want to see the manuscript.”

  “Of course,” Hays affirmed, suddenly aware of a faint ringing in her ears “It’s your division.”

  “I’m a bit worried about Rune Dyre.”

  “Why?” Hays brushed a hand across her forehead, and her fingers came away damp with sweat. She considered taking off her jacket, but didn’t want to stand. Her legs felt leaden.

  “It bothers me that I can’t meet with her. According to Liz, she was WomenWords’ biggest seller, but she is reclusive in the extreme.”

  “That’s not so unusual.” Hays shrugged, struggling to concentrate on the conversation, but finding her thoughts muddled. “I get the impression that some authors would just rather let their work speak for them.”

  “And I don’t disagree, but with a new venture such as Destiny and with an author whose sales may be critical, I’d like to get a sense of her future plans by speaking with her directly.” When Hays didn’t reply, Auden glanced up from buttering her bagel. Hays was extraordinarily pale. “Hays?”

  “I’m sorry.” Hays blinked, but her vision wouldn’t clear. “Would you please excuse me?”

  As the publisher abruptly rose, Auden caught a glimpse of Thane Cutlass approaching their table. Before Auden could utter a greeting or question Hays’s unexpected departure, Hays collapsed to the floor.

  Chapter Fourteen

  Distantly, Hays heard voices, but the words were garbled and indistinct, as if she were underwater. When she opened her eyes, she found that she couldn’t focus. Light-headed, she was nevertheless aware of a familiar presence and the touch of gentle fingers on her cheek. The warmth of that small point of contact grounded her, tethering her tenderly to the earthbound plane.

  “Au...Auden?”

  “It’s all right.” Auden’s voice was calm and soothing, despite the fact that she was terrified.

  Hays blinked several times, and she managed to make out Auden’s worried features as she bent near. “How...what happened?”

  “Hays, you fainted. You’re going to be all right.”

  “Oh, Jesus.” Hays closed her eyes, struggling to control the nausea and dizziness. When she opened her lids again, her vision was clearer. “Help me get to my room. Please.”

  “Just lie still.” From where she was kneeling by Hays’ side, Auden looked up at Thane, who stood above them keeping onlookers away. “Go get Gayle.”

  “Okay. I’ll be right back.”

  Hays struggled to a seated position and rested her back against a chair to wait for her head to stop spinning. She took a steadying breath and reached behind her, bracing a hand on the seat.

  Auden moved quickly, threading her arm around Hays’s waist. “Just wait, please? I don’t want you to try standing and fainting again.”

  “I won’t. It’s passing.” Hays met Auden’s apprehensive gaze. “Please, Auden. Just help me up. I don’t want everyone here to see me like this. Please.”

  There was something in Hays’s eyes, a sheen of desperation that was so out of character for her that Auden’s heart turned over. “You’re so pale. I’m afraid you’ll hurt yourself.”

  “I’ll be okay. Please believe me.”

  Auden rested her fingers fleetingly on Hays’s cheek. Then she tightened her grip around her and murmured, “All right. But hold on to me and go slowly.”

  Just as they were getting to their feet, Gayle pushed her way through the crowd of curious people who had gathered nearby. Her gaze went immediately to Hays and her eyes narrowed. “What happened?”

  “She fainted,” Auden said grimly as Hays leaned heavily against her side.

  “Sit down here,” Gayle instructed, pointing to the nearby chair.

  “No.” Hays breathed heavily but her voice sounded strong. “I want to go upstairs.”

  “Gayle is a doctor, Hays,” Auden urged. “Let her look at you first.”

  “Not here.”

  Gayle held Hays’s wrist with two fingers resting over the radial artery, taking her pulse as she scanned Hays’s face. “As long as you promise to let me or the hotel doctor examine you once we’re in your suite.”

  “It’s not necessary—”

  “It is.” Gayle’s tone was unyielding. “Someone needs to check you over.”

  Hays looked like she was about to argue when Auden whispered, “Please, Hays.”

  “All right then,” Hays assented reluctantly, too ill to argue. “Please, let’s just get out of here.”

  “Do you need any help?” Thane asked quietly from just behind Gayle.

  Gayle turned and smiled appreciatively. “It’s okay. But thanks.”

  Thane nodded, and Auden, Hays, and Gayle made their way to the nearest bank of elevators. Auden kept her arm around Hays’s waist, and within five minutes, they were inside Hays’s suite.

  “Auden, would you wait out here while I take a look at her?” Gayle requested quietly while Hays moved slowly but steadily into the bedroom.

  Auden wanted to object, because she desperately wanted to see for herself that Hays was all right. But she respected Hays’s privacy and appreciated that Gayle was speaking not as her friend at the moment, but as a physician concerned about her patient.

  “Of course.” As Gayle turned away, Auden caught her hand. “Can I see her when you’re done?”

  “If she’s up to it,” Gayle replied gently. “Do you want to wait for me back in our suite?”

  Auden shook her head. She couldn’t bear to be that far away. “I’ll just wait out here.”

  Gayle nodded and disappeared inside Hays’s bedroom, closing the door behind her. Auden sat on the plush sofa in the well-appointed sitting room, staring at the blank television screen. She had no desire to turn it on. As she gazed fixedly ahead, all she could see was H
ays as she slumped to the floor, so unbelievably pale, a fine mist of sweat on her forehead.

  In that instant, Auden had felt fear like none she had ever known. Even now, the memory left her feeling at once helpless and bereft. Her thinking mind told her that she was overreacting; Hays had probably picked up a flu bug and would be fine in a day or so. But even as she rationalized, she remembered the way Hays had looked that afternoon in her office when Auden had come upon her sleeping. She had been ill then, too. Most of the time, in fact, she seemed on the edge of exhaustion.

  And despite her regard for Hays’s privacy, Auden still needed to know what was wrong. She couldn’t bear the thought of Hays suffering alone, and yet she knew she did not have the right to intrude. Just because she felt a connection to the solitary, private woman did not mean that there was one. As she waited, her anxiety mounted with each passing moment.

  Auden watched a light on the multiline phone flicker and then blink steadily. At first, she was surprised that Hays was making a phone call, and then she realized that it could be Gayle. What if Hays is seriously ill? What if Gayle is calling for an ambulance? Can they even get here in this storm? That thought made her chest tighten, and she almost got to her feet with the intention of knocking on the bedroom door. Even after the light blinked out, she continued to imagine the worst. She stared at the closed bedroom door, willing it to open.

  When the buzzer to the suite sounded, she jumped, her heart suddenly racing. Quickly, she crossed to the door and pulled it open. A woman she did not recognize, dressed in a conservative dark skirt and cream-colored silk blouse, stood in the hall with what resembled a black plastic tackle box in her right hand. “Yes?”

  “Dr. Dunbar?”

  “No, she’s inside.”

  “She called about medical equipment. I’m sorry,” the woman said, indicating the box with a tip of her chin, “but the best we have is the emergency kit from the dispensary. We’re not really equipped for anything beyond basic first aid, and I doubt that any of our on-call doctors can get here.”

  From behind Auden, Gayle spoke, having approached from Hays’s room without Auden hearing. “That’s fine. If I need medications, do you have any on hand?” Seeing the woman’s hesitation, Gayle added, “I’ll give you my license number. It won’t be for controlled substances.”