Keep the Faith

by Daniel Gibbs

  “Lieutenant Goldberg, I’m going to go to the colonel’s office and work through more of these forms. Please call your relief and take the conn.”

  “Aye aye, sir.” Ruth stood and strode over. “This is Lieutenant Goldberg. I have the conn.”

  On those words, Hanson rose and walked off the bridge. David can’t get back here fast enough. I’m not cut out for this kind of duty.

  Even though the 4X4’s engine was pegged, it barely made a sound. If he’d been any less disciplined, David would’ve been screaming at the top of his lungs as the ground rushed up at them. Eldred continued to drive like a woman possessed. They’d been whipping around and over sand dunes at eighty kilometers per hour. It seemed like a miracle from God they hadn’t crashed by now and broken their necks.

  “You have prior experience at this,” he said through the safety helmet he wore, which muffled his voice.

  “Guilty as charged, Colonel. I love things that go fast.” The 4X4 slid to a stop, just before cresting a towering dune. Eldred took her helmet off and shook out her hair. It was dripping wet with sweat. She took a water bottle off the side of the vehicle and took a swig before passing it back to David. “Have some. We have to stay hydrated.”

  Sighing, he took the outstretched bottle and drank deeply. “Thanks. The heat is nuts out here. This place reminds me of a barely habitable planet I once served on. Mining colony.”

  She replaced the bottle and walked up to the lip of the dune, then without warning, dropped in her tracks. “Oh, snap.”

  David looked over at her. “Problems?” he asked softly.

  “Enemy recon patrol. They’re on ATVs. We’ll have to hold up here for a bit.”

  He retrieved a portable scanner and crawled to her. David didn’t want to give their position away due to his height. “Six tangos, two ATVs. We could take them from up here, you know.”

  “Same problem as before, comms.”

  Silence reigned for a few minutes before David felt the boredom set in, watching the scanner. “So what’s your deal, Agent Eldred? Every CIS spook I’ve worked with has been pretty detached. You, though—this feels like it’s personal to you.”

  “Nothing personal, Colonel. I want a bad man off the street, that’s all.”

  “You can feed that line to your superiors, but out here, I deserve honesty.” David made eye contact with her and stared.

  She glanced away, closed her eyes, and shook her head. “I think the CDF gets off easy sometimes, mentally.”

  “Excuse me?” If she had any idea.

  “I mean no disrespect, David. I make my living in the gray. I do things I know are morally wrong for an individual, yet vital to the good of our nation.”

  Bile rose inside of him as he considered her words. They touched a chord of anger that nearly uncorked right then and there. “I have far more insight into those gray situations than you give me credit for, Miranda. I put my best friend into the ground. I’ve disobeyed orders, I’ve killed God only knows how many people, and lost hundreds under my command. I look down at my hands, and I see blood. No matter how much I wash, it never comes off.”

  “But the CDF goes off into battle with God at their side. I’ve seen interviews with you, talking about the need to defeat the League and the justice and nobility of our cause.”

  Ah yes, the happy warrior. “I’ve never said God’s on our side. I don’t think it’s our right to proclaim such a thing. God detests killing. The commandment against murder and its punishment are enough to prove that truth,” David replied, glancing down at the soft, powdery sand. “I constantly guard my heart to avoid enjoying killing the enemy. After all they’ve done, all the horrific war crimes I’ve seen committed by the League of Sol, there’s a part of me that wants to give in to hating them. The day I do is the day I die as a Jew and a decent human. Do I want to see the League defeated? Of course I do. I’ll fight with everything I have to achieve the goal too. But I yearn for the day when I no longer need to get up and do my job—because make no mistake, my job is to kill as many of them as I can before they kill us.”

  Eldred was silent for some time. At some point, a single tear fell out of her eye onto the sand. “Forgive me, Colonel. I had no idea. I thought—I assumed, it was easier to process for you, because of the justness of your actions.”

  “You know what they say about assumptions.” He cracked a smile after he finished delivering the line. A glance at the scanner confirmed the 4X4s were moving out of range, toward the east. Then there are the things I can’t talk about, like the incident with CIS a few months back. The things that make me question if we deserve to win. “These gray situations you mention… any of them happen on Gilead?”

  “A few. You could say my job as a non-cover intelligence officer has been to be a consummate liar. I convince people to betray what they believe in, most of the time. I entrap and seduce them. Whatever it takes to turn them. I’ve done some horrible things. I have to live with them.”

  “You still haven’t told me why this mission is so important.”

  “For once, I can help someone who deserves it. This woman, Z. I don’t even know her name, but I know she’s brave and doing what she is for the right reasons. Tell me, does your faith help you?”

  “My faith is a part of everything I do. I try to live it, imperfectly, but I still try. I trust God grants me grace and forgiveness. What about you?”

  “Call me a lapsed Catholic. I’m afraid God has turned His back on me.”

  David stared into her eyes. “Why?”

  “I’ve done horrible things. The worst part about it is I felt a piece of me die every time I condemned someone to die. I want to even the scales out. If I save her, maybe I can. For God, for myself.”

  I hate this war and what it's done to all of us. “I was under the impression Christianity taught that good works aren’t how you get to heaven, but faith.”

  Eldred grinned, her face finally brightening. “Forgive me, but a Jew quoting Christian principles to me is something new.”

  “Well…” David replied with a grin of his own and a simultaneous shrug. “We’re taught to question everything. I liked to read as a child, what can I say? There’s a line from the Christian Bible that’s always resonated with me. God is faithful and just to forgive us of our sins. I hold on to that when the memories of those lost under my command roar into my mind. When I remember the horrible things I’ve done.”

  She glanced up at the sky. “I’m sorry, Colonel. I would’ve thought you had everything together, from your public persona. As you said, don’t make assumptions. Still, even the holocommerical they had you in for CDF recruiting. You looked the part.”

  “I do what I must,” David said, his mind thinking back. “The spot was based on Ecclesiastes. A time to love, a time to hate, a time for war, and a time for peace.”

  “A time for heroes… your time is now,” Eldred finished. “Let me guess, you don’t consider yourself a hero either?”

  David shook his head. “No. The heroes are the men and women going home in flag-draped coffins. I want no part in the glory of war, because its cost is far too hard to bear.” He paused for a moment, then stared at her again, straight in the eyes. “I need to know your head is in this before we go on.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “Point blank. Do you have a death wish?”

  Eldred became very still and quiet. “No, I don’t. Too many people would be far too happy if I died. Like every boss I’ve ever had at CIS.”

  It was his turn to laugh. “Yeah. Okay. But we’re both coming home. Are we clear?”

  She nodded. “Yes. I’ll hold you to it.”

  “Scanner shows clean driving ahead. Let’s get moving. Too much sun exposure is going to be dangerous after a while.”

  As the two of them climbed back onto the 4X4, David found his mind wandering and hoping they weren’t headed into a trap that neither would escape from.

  19

  A harsh light bathed the room
Ramirez found herself in. After Benoit forced her out of the apartment, it hadn’t taken long to end up in one of the organization’s “questioning” chambers. A cold room in the sub-basement beneath the tallest building in the zone, there were many of them. For now, she was alone. Chained to a chair, from her vantage point, she saw implements of torture spread throughout the confined space. They ranged from rusty knives to devices she couldn’t even fathom what they did in practice.

  The only entrance or exit—a heavy metal door—creaked open. Two finely suited men with broad, bulky shoulders strode in. She immediately recognized them as Feldt’s elite bodyguards. A moment later, Feldt followed. He said nothing as he circled the chair she was chained to. He finally sat in front of her on a stool. “Well, this is a shock.”

  Ramirez closed her eyes. God, give me strength.

  “That won’t make me disappear, Carmina,” he said. His voice almost sounded sad.

  She opened her eyes and glanced at him. “If it were that simple, I would’ve done it long ago.”

  “How did this happen? We had something special. I was sure you loved me.”

  He thinks he’s been wronged. She wasn’t quite sure how to respond. “You thought I loved you? After what you did to everyone around you, including me? You killed one of my friends to make a point during my so-called initiation!” Her voice rose in volume. “You’re a sick, depraved man with a heart so hard, it feels nothing!” she spat.

  A nasty little grin broke out across his face. “You weren’t saying that last week.”

  The urge to vomit roared through her, thinking back to the last time they’d been together intimately. “I did what I had to survive.”

  “People—all of you—don’t get it,” Feldt began. He started to pace around the confines of the room. “We live in a tough, unforgiving universe. I should know. I was born to a prostitute on the streets of Galt. I watched the powerful abuse my mother until the day she died. You know what? I vowed I’d never let them do it to me. I got powerful enough to attract the wrong kind of attention on Galt. That led me here, to Gilead.”

  She’d heard the self-righteous spiel from him dozens of times. He views himself as a savior. Maybe it helps him sleep at night. She tried to keep a smirk off her face.

  “Where I helped the oppressed. Yes, I demand loyalty. Is it not a small price to pay for the freedom I guarantee? I’ve got the League kissing up to me, the Terran Coalition trying to kill me, and the Gileadean government too afraid to even send a patrol into our territory.” He tilted his head back and laughed loudly. “Before too long, I’ll have enough money to buy a planet or ten. I saved you, Carmina. And you repay me by bringing the Terran Coalition to kill me.”

  Ramirez raised her head and stared at him. “You’re a monster. You deal in human misery, selling substances that destroy the mind, body, and soul. You profit off death and destruction. I hate you. I vowed to destroy you, even if it cost me my life. So I have. The Terrans will stop you. They stand for justice, God, and freedom. They’ll be enough to see you off.” The words fell out of her mouth in a flood, leaving her shocked at the end that she had the guts to say them.

  Feldt stopped his pacing, and his hand began to shake with rage. He uttered a guttural roar, reared back his right hand, and slapped her across the face.

  The pain shot through her like a lightning bolt, and she screamed. Blood dripped out of her nose down onto her shirt. “That’s rich. Beat up an unarmed, tied-up woman. Do you feel strong now, Edward? Do you feel powerful? You’re nothing!” What’s wrong with me? Where is this coming from? The resolve of steel came from within, and while she couldn’t place it, its comfort was welcome. Hail Mary, full of grace.

  The look on his face was one of pure fury. His mouth opened and Feldt snarled like a rabid animal, spit flying out of it as he yelled out again, this time punching the wall next to her head and breaking the cheap substance covering it. He withdrew his fist, and it was covered in blood. “Nice try, Carmina. You won’t get away that easy. You betrayed me, and I’ll have an example made out of you before you die. Make no mistake—you will die. Not before I destroy everyone you love and force you to watch.”

  She raised her head as blood continued to drip out of her nose. “No, you won’t. I made sure they all disappeared into the Terran Coalition. There were only a few anyway. You can kill me, but you can’t harm the rest of my family.”

  The room became hushed as Feldt towered over her, staring down. “We’ll see. For now, you’re going to know pain like you’ve never experienced it before, but not from me. I have a professional who used to be in the League’s employ to handle that aspect. He’ll be along shortly.” He pronounced each word in an exaggerated manner.

  “The day Thou gave us, Lord, is ended,” Ramirez said quietly. “The darkness falls at Thy command. To Thee our morning praise be directed, Thy praise shall help us to rest.”

  “Your God can’t save you now, even if He did exist. There is no God. Only what we can see and feel. I am the master of what you see, what you feel and how you die. I am your god, Carmina. Don’t forget it as you wish for death,” Feldt snarled, then with a final backhand to her face, he turned and walked out of the room.

  Alone, bleeding, and scared, she continued to whisper the words to the hymn. “Over each planet and people, the dawn leads on to another day. The voice of prayer to You is never silent, nor does the sound of praise fade away.”

  David tossed a glance over his shoulder to the large dune the 4X4 they’d been riding on was left behind. After only a kilometer, his feet were aching, thanks to the combination of ill-fitting boots from the embassy’s stock and scorching sand. Yeah, fleet life is soft compared to the Marines. Calvin’s got a point when he ribs us about it. Suppressing a smirk, he worked his legs through the soft sand to keep up with Eldred. “Okay, what’s the plan here, besides getting ridiculously high levels of UV radiation exposure?”

  “We need information,” she replied, as if that explained everything.

  “Sure. Like where your contact is and why security is so tight.”

  Eldred stopped and glanced back at him. “Still not responding. I have to assume she’s been found out.”

  “Isn’t that premature?”

  “When you’ve been in intelligence as long as I have, Colonel, let’s say one develops a sixth sense about these things,” she replied, her tone somber. “We’re not far from the town Feldt’s built out here, if you could call it that. More like a bunch of dilapidated buildings grouped together, while he gives away food and drugs to the people that ‘work’ for him.”

  David furrowed his brow together and frowned in disgust. “Men like him undermine my confidence in humanity. We’d better press on. It’s not getting any cooler out here, and I feel like I’ve lost ten pounds of water through sweat.”

  “It’s a dry heat.”

  With a small chuckle, he resumed plodding through the dune, churning his legs in a manner reminiscent of a paddleboat. They climbed to the crest of the small hill of sand and found several dilapidated buildings below them. David dropped to his belly immediately, as did Eldred. “Not many people out.”

  “It’s the heat of the day. They typically stay inside until this planet’s sun starts to set.”

  “You must come here a lot.”

  “How do you think the dead drops went down? I didn’t trust anyone else to do it.”

  “Ah,” he replied, understanding in an instant the lengths she was willing to go, and how personal it was. “So again, what’s the plan?”

  “Patience, Colonel,” she said as she pulled a scanning device off her waist. “Let’s do some snooping.” Silence reigned for several minutes. “Each of those houses down there has people in them, but the one to the right only has one, a military-aged male and no one else.”

  A lightbulb went off in David’s mind. “We’re paying him a visit?”

  “Feldt loves to brag when he catches an informant, and he can’t miss taking a victory lap to rail
against the Terran Coalition. He hates us religious do-gooders, as he puts it. If nothing else, we can get the lay of the land.”

  “Okay. We’re just going to rush down there and bust into this guy’s house?”

  “Got a better idea, Colonel?” Eldred replied with a dazzling grin.

  Taking a moment to consider where they were, without backup, the idea of flying by the seat of his pants was utterly foreign to David. He shook his head with a sigh. The military is about processes, procedures, and plans. We don’t jump headfirst unless there’s no other resort. I suppose intelligence is different. He finally forced a smile. “Aside from calling in ISR drones, a commando team, and Marines—no.”

  “Then let’s roll.” She stood, checked her battle rifle one last time, and charged down the dune at an all-out run.

  David jumped up and followed, ensuring the safety was off on his weapon and a bullet was in the firing chamber. The lessons of his first combat had never been lost throughout the years. He came to a halt next to what appeared to be the back door to the residence, if the shipping container could be called that. Eldred had already taken up position on the other side. “No lock,” he whispered.

  With a nod, she turned the door handle and slowly eased it open, then crept inside.

  He entered close behind her, rifle first pointed at the ground when she was directly in front of him, then immediately at the left side of the room to cover any possible threats. “I’ve got left side,” he whispered toward her. Eldred nodded in return and moved off.

  Taking care to make no noise, David gingerly stepped over a pile of trash and took in the interior of the house. It looked as desolate as the outside, with boxes used for furniture, while waste and food were spread everywhere. These people have lost all hope. They don’t care anymore. A verse from Proverbs entered his mind. Where there is no vision, the people perish. A closed door blocked his path, which also had no lock. He turned the handle and pushed it in. Before him lay a bed with a man splayed out on it, sound asleep. His right hand reached down and found the sidearm on his leg and drew it, while at the same time he let his rifle drop into its one-point sling. He crossed the room and put the barrel of the pistol to the man’s forehead while covering his mouth with his free hand. “Good afternoon, sunshine.”