Protector of the Flame

by Isis Rushdan

“Thank you.” He wrapped her in a tight hug, for just a moment, then left her alone on the walkway.

  Chapter Forty-Three

  Trembling, Serenity drifted to her room. Cyrus sat in bed, reading.

  “I’m going to take a quick shower. I’ll be right back.”

  “Are you okay?” He looked up from his book.

  She reassured him she was fine and slinked out of the room. Scrubbing her face and arms in the shower, she wondered if he’d really be able to smell Adriel on her. That was the last thing she needed.

  Her promise to spare Adriel’s feelings had been a gross miscalculation. The more she turned it over in her mind, the more clearly she saw the mistake. She needed to silence the warning bells clanging in her head.

  She climbed into bed, her nerves pinging.

  “Lights, dim,” Cyrus said.

  She sat up. “Lights, bright.”

  “Okay, what’s wrong?”

  She told him about Abbadon’s latest message and Neith’s concerns.

  Sitting up, Cyrus raked his hands through his hair.

  “How did Julius and Bellona die?”

  “What?” he asked, looking bewildered.

  The Book of Destiny plagued her and she couldn’t wipe it from her thoughts. “She was pregnant when she died and I want to know how.”

  “You’re not going to die.”

  “Do you know what happened to them or not?”

  “All I know is she died in childbirth and the baby was stillborn. Julius drowned himself out of grief.”

  “That’s it? Isn’t there more to the story?”

  He leaned back and held her. “Their story isn’t our story. We won’t end up like them.”

  If only he knew how the story of Julius and Bellona was quite literally their story from a past life.

  No sense in telling him. It’d only worry him when there was nothing they could do.

  “Wait.” He climbed out of the bed. “All of his poems were about his kabashem and how much he loved her.” He opened the dresser and pulled out a book. “All, except one.” He climbed back into bed and flipped through the book. “Here it is.”

  Moving in close, she gazed at the book as he read aloud.

  Oh brother, most beloved in mine eye, more fair than the sun

  Thy breastplate as our shield thy offered, as beauteous as thine face

  Trust in thee, perverted by cruel fate, sought and won

  Light of day cast too late, my faith misplaced

  Thy soul dark as ash, ruthless as frost

  To smite our hearts’ cherished love, to extinguish her star from the sky

  Sweet words to poison, did thee know the cost

  A plague upon they venomous lips, a curse upon they envious eye

  My eternal suffering at thy hand is plain upon thy forked tongue

  My sorrow for the love I still bear thee, shall go unsung

  “Sounds like they were betrayed by someone they shouldn’t have trusted,” he said, closing the book. “Feel better?”

  Her gut churned. She wanted to puke. She should’ve read the book, but Adriel would never do anything to harm her or her baby. He certainly wouldn’t hurt Cyrus in a futile attempt to get closer.

  Cyrus kissed her neck and chest.

  She turned to get out of bed. “I need to speak to Neith.”

  “Now?” He reeled her closer. “Do it in the morning?”

  She allowed Cyrus to slide her down in the bed. Her mind spun as he made love to her. Too distracted to enjoy it, she was grateful once he spent himself and rolled over to go to sleep.

  When she was certain he was in a deep slumber, she threw on clothes. She dashed up to the library and to Neith’s office.

  The lights were bright inside.

  Neith sat slumped in her chair, looking old and weary as if she hadn’t slept in days. She didn’t glance up from her desk as Serenity entered. “I hoped you’d come to your senses once you were no longer in Adriel’s presence.”

  Serenity moved one of the chairs a few feet back from the desk and sat.

  “But I’ve already given the book to a team to take from the island.”

  There was a way to keep her promise to Adriel and have her questions answered. “I’m sure you know the story well enough without the book.”

  Neith gave a slow nod. Fatigue or sadness dampened the ancient beauty’s spirit. There was no fire in her eyes.

  “Adriel was the one who somehow betrayed Bellona and Julius.”

  “Florian. His name was Florian.”

  Her heart fluttered. She had to know it all. The time had come, but what if knowing wrecked the chance at a different outcome?

  “Bellona started the Paladins. She had a vision of an exceptional warrior class that would change the history of Kindred.”

  Her ties to the Paladins stretched all the way to a past life. She stroked the tattoo on her stomach.

  “She excelled at recruitment beyond the walls of Sekhem, populating her ranks with the young and powerful, not yet entrenched in House politics. Bellona tried to recruit Florian. He proved a formidable challenge. She tempted him with her feminine wiles, but instead of converting him, they fell in love.”

  No. She’d prepared for deception and betrayal, not this. Anything but this. “What of Julius and Florian’s kabashem?”

  “Florian never met his kabashem in his past life. Just as I doubt Adriel will meet Evane in this one.”

  “And Julius?”

  The ancient beauty had a slack expression, opalescent gray eyes dull and distant. “Florian stayed at Bellona’s side, as her consort. They were very close. Nothing separated them. When she had her Whitescape, she hid it from him but dispatched spies to the colonies and Houses in search of her kabashem. Years passed with no news.”

  The story unraveled in a completely unexpected direction. Her heart sank as she listened, wishing she’d been able to let it go.

  “Florian somehow learned of Bellona’s deception. She swore she only wanted to meet her kabashem so their energy streams could merge, protecting her from the afflictions of sangre saevitas and the dark veil, then she would be rid of him by taking her own kabashem’s life to prove her love for Florian and opposition to redemption.”

  Bellona loved Florian first, enough to threaten the life of her kabashem. The horror of it chilled her soul.

  “Florian didn’t believe her and returned to his House. Aten.”

  Serenity twisted her hands, needing to hear the specifics on how it ended, dreading the details in between.

  “Years later, Florian asked to meet Bellona. At the rendezvous, he didn’t show. In his place he sent his younger brother, who’d been born in the years he’d spent away. Julius.”

  A sudden sharp pain struck Serenity’s chest. She stood, rubbing her sternum, and paced. They were brothers. It was too much.

  “It was a test. Florian wanted to see if Bellona would choose him over her kabashem and keep her vow.”

  An impossible choice. The inexplicable draw, the magnetic pull to one’s kabashem was the most powerful force she’d ever experienced. It was immediate, intense, electrifying. It was lightning and once it struck little else seldom remained. She knew what happened next.

  “Bellona failed Florian’s test.” Serenity leaned against the statue of Sekhmet. “She gave up everything for Julius, the Paladins, her fight against redemption, her first love.”

  “She came close to killing Julius more than once, but in the end, yes.” Neith shifted in her seat. “And once Florian realized he’d lost her, he sent a message to Sekhem, telling them of the Blessed couple’s whereabouts. Bellona quickly became pregnant, but they were hunted. They couldn’t stay on the run with warriors closing in at every turn.”

  “Did they know Florian had betrayed them?”

  “They were unaware of his duplicity. When he offered to help them, assuring them safety at Aten, they accepted with all other options exhausted. Seeing Bellona and Julius together consumed Florian with a
n inexhaustible rage. He poisoned Bellona, killing the child in her womb. Then he confessed everything he had done to his brother. Julius killed him, and in his grief committed suicide not long after.”

  Serenity slid down the statue and sat on the floor. She shook her head, reeling from the magnitude of her mistakes in this life, as well as the one past.

  “You said we’re destined to repeat the same mistakes.” If it was true, at the rate they were going now, there was little hope for them.

  “Your souls are destined to be pulled into similar scenarios,” Neith said. “It is the only way to resolve the pain and errors of your former selves and find a way to change your fate.”

  Neith stood and ventured to the open air outlet. “Adriel has only known love for you, not a kabashem, in two lifetimes. This unnatural bond changes things for the worst. You both seek to rectify what went wrong in the past. For him, that was losing your love.”

  Serenity didn’t know Florian, but she knew Adriel, knew he wanted her happiness, knew he’d never hurt her or the child, but doubt lingered. “Am I safe around Adriel?”

  “With this bond, Adriel poses the second greatest threat to your life.” Neith faced her. “This tether between you puts you both at grave risk.”

  Serenity pushed off the statue to her feet. “Why didn’t you just have him tied up and taken from the island?”

  “I am confident he won’t hurt the child, which is my primary concern. The choice had to be his. It is up to the three of you to make different choices to change your fate.”

  Well wasn’t hindsight a bitch.

  “Adriel jeopardizes his life being near you. The tolerance in Cyrus wavers and your desire to protect them both could be your undoing.”

  Asking Adriel to leave now would only breed distrust and contempt. And Cyrus might still need him if there was war.

  “Use this knowledge to make more prudent choices. Let it be your guide in moments of weakness.”

  Providence had brought them all to this island. Their lives, their souls and their fates were tied.

  This was a second chance to get it right and not just for the three of them.

  She rubbed her belly.

  This time would be different. She swore it on her life.

  Chapter Forty-Four

  In a single day the island declined from a bustling complex of six hundred strong to one hundred and twenty-four. Neith pulled most warriors from the work details across the island to augment security. Only the essential workstations continued to operate with skeleton crews: the kitchen, orchard, laundry, trash and engineering.

  Sothis led the evening security detail. Her mother gave the warriors precise instructions not to discount the smallest abnormality and to sound the alarm if anyone was detected, even if it meant sacrificing a kill.

  In the mornings when her mother finished standing guard, she worked with Cyrus, giving him a Paladin crash course. Serenity was lucky to get Sothis for ten minutes after dinner. She had no idea when her mother slept.

  Neith kept Serenity close, instructing how to operate the library as though it were fully functioning, imparting her vast knowledge from a safe distance to keep the ancient beauty’s head clear as if doing some mind-to-mind download.

  The evenings with Cyrus were a bizarre combination of gut-wrenching tension, like they were waiting for a time-bomb to finish a countdown, and long nights of pleasure since their world might very well come to an end as Herut’s impending response loomed.

  The moon grew full and waned to a thin sliver of a crescent illuminating the night like a scythe.

  Each evening the nights darkened as they moved closer to the new moon and the time limit for Herut’s answer. Abbadon must have been struggling to find a way not to use the Book of Bylaws. It was the only explanation for the delay. If they were forced to attend the Pesedjet, Sekhem or Aten or the Sodalitas would be ready to strike before their grievance could be heard.

  Even if they had a chance to voice their complaint, they had no assurance the Great Council would vote in their favor. They needed five votes from all three Houses. They’d get all three from Herut. Without Nefertiti on Aten’s Council, she had no idea how they’d get four, much less five.

  It was more than a gamble. They were betting their lives, fixed-odds stacked against them a million to one. Everything hinged on Neith’s plan.

  A plan the ancient beauty kept to herself.

  Each day was like waiting for a guillotine to fall on their necks, but she couldn’t stop thinking about the Book of Destiny and Adriel. The past wasn’t destined to repeat itself. Yet the more she thought of Adriel, the more she wondered.

  “Feeling okay?” Cyrus asked, bringing her back to the moment.

  She looked at him, and then glanced around the dining hall, searching. People were seated at eight tables closest to the kitchen, the rest were empty. “I just have a headache.”

  “No surprise. All you do is worry. You even worry in your sleep. Now you’re waking up screaming from nightmares you can’t remember.” He rubbed her tight shoulders. “This pervasive tension isn’t good for you. It can’t be good for the baby. How about a proper massage later?”

  There he was. Adriel came out of the kitchen and placed a platter of food and clay pitcher at a table. She was relieved to only glimpse him at dinner since he started working in the kitchen, but his absence didn’t bring solace. His complexion had grown sallow and dark circles formed under his morose eyes. He looked worse than Cyrus had when she and the baby were draining him.

  “That sounds nice,” she said.

  He cupped her face, commanding full attention. “The more time we spend together the further away you seem. You’re quiet and pensive all the time. Standing right in front of me, looking at me, your mind is somewhere else.”

  Hugging him, she buried her face in his chest. “No more worrying for the rest of the evening. Let’s eat.”

  They went to Nakia’s table where Caelius and their warriors ate.

  “Cyrus, Serenity,” Caelius said in acknowledgement as they sat.

  The others removed their swords from the table and nodded hello. The warriors had swords with them at all times. She’d even seen a couple take them to the showers.

  She rubbed the leather hiding the blade strapped to her wrist. Cyrus had insisted she carry her crossbow as well. The quiver he had made held the bow and bolts and fit comfortably on her back.

  A pitiful frown hung on Nakia’s face as she mouthed something silently to herself, playing with her food.

  Adriel and Lazarus joined their table. Serenity stiffened. They usually kept their distance at mealtime. Not that it made things easier, only more awkward. They hadn’t spoken since that night in Neith’s office. Adriel sat next to Nakia, across from Serenity, but made no eye contact.

  Serenity poured Cyrus a bowl of soup, wanting to meet Adriel’s eyes, just for a second. The sharp decline in his appearance was more than a little troublesome. Spero, Ptolemy and Micah finished their food and collected their swords.

  “Nakia!” Caelius banged his fist on the table. The warriors stopped. Everyone stared. “Stop. Mumbling.”

  Spero looked to Cyrus.

  “It’s fine,” Cyrus said. Spero nodded and left with Ptolemy and Micah.

  “You won’t see me in private and now you won’t allow me to speak at mealtime.” Her small voice quivered.

  “I don’t see you in private because you go too far. And you may speak at meals, but I ask you to refrain from indecent speech.”

  She dropped her spork and looked up at him. Tears cradled her eyes. “Why won’t you make love to me?”

  Cyrus choked on his food. Serenity did her best to hide a smirk. Adriel stared at his plate.

  “This type of conversation is inappropriate.” Caelius poured more wine in his cup.

  “Don’t you want me? Doesn’t your body feel the same need that mine does?”

  “I have no need of a child. You shouldn’t speak of such things.”


  “I’m sixteen, practically a woman, and you said we might not live through this.”

  Despair plagued them all, but Serenity had to survive for Cyrus and the baby. Any other thoughts she couldn’t allow.

  “It was weak of me to say such a thing. We’ll prevail.” He guzzled his wine and poured another cup. “When you grow into the body of a woman, we’ll discuss it then.”

  “Oh Cae, once I’ve become a woman there shouldn’t be any need for discussion. You should rip off my clothes and ravish my body,” she said, clutching her chest.

  A low growl erupted from Caelius and he gripped the edge of the table.

  Nakia’s bottom lip jutted out in a pout and she leaned away from him against Adriel’s arm. “Ralph loved Meggie since she was four,” she uttered in a trembling voice. “Their love is so much like ours. And even though the great Cardinal De Briccarsart made vows to God, he broke them all because he loved her. If a cardinal can break his vows to make love to the woman who captured his heart, why can’t you make love to me?”

  Caelius glowered at Nakia. “What are you talking about? What new filth are you reading?”

  Serenity lowered her gaze and put a spoonful of soup in her mouth.

  “The Thorn Birds. It’s so much better than Romeo and Juliet. Ralph and Meggie make love and have a baby instead of dying.”

  “I’ve lost my appetite,” Cyrus said. “Serenity, you don’t seem to be very hungry, perhaps we should leave.”

  Her mate knew the book was only one of two that she’d packed.

  “Where did you get it?” Caelius reached over Nakia and grabbed Adriel by the collar. “I told you not to bring her any more magazines or books from the mainland.”

  Serenity glared at Caelius. One good whip of her energy pool would set him straight. If only her ingenium was working. Lazarus poised to act, fists tightening.

  “Let the boy go.” Cyrus stood and placed a hand on Caelius’s forearm.

  “How can you of all people protect him?” Caelius asked.

  “I’m protecting you, not him. Let him go.”

  Caelius released him and Cyrus sat back down.

  “I gave the book to Nakia,” Serenity said.