Sainte: Knights of Silence MC

by Amy Cecil

  I start the car and begin to pull out of the parking lot. The white powder is calling to me, and I can’t wait until I get back to the clubhouse. I stop and stick my pinky finger into the bag and then stick it in my nose and sniff. It’s immediate. I feel better already. Even though I’m not happy at what I did to get it, it is still so worth it. I can breathe again.

  I pull out of the partaking lot and head back to the clubhouse. When I return, Emma is sitting in the kitchen waiting. “What took you so long, Honey? I was worried.”

  “It’s all good. I’m fine.” I say as I place the bags on the bar. I stopped at the grocery store on the way here so we could have a special dinner for the boys to welcome them home. Maybe, more importantly, to celebrate they made it home alive.

  “Honey, did you get my prescription?”

  “Oh fuck, Emma, I totally forgot about it,” I say as I walk past her nonchalantly. I rummage through the bags. “But I did get stuff for dinner to welcome the boys home.” I’m sure they are all sleeping now. Ice had called Emma last night to say they should be in around four in the morning. Nobody knew where they went, but I’m guessing it had something to do with Hawk and his killer.

  “But, Honey?” Emma asks, and frankly her whining is irritating me.

  “I said I forgot! Will you quit fucking harping on me!” I snap and begin to unload the groceries. Geez, what the fuck does she think I am, her damn errand girl? She is so fucking entitled.

  Emma takes a step back. “Oh, okay. Sorry.” She turns, grabs her purse and keys, and leaves without a word.

  A couple seconds go by, and Emma walks back into the clubhouse. What the fuck does her whiny ass want now? “Honey, how dare you speak to me that way? I don’t deserve your disrespect. I am Ice’s fucking old lady, and if I ask you to do something for me, you do it.”

  Well fuck, when did the bitch grow a pair? She picks up my keys and throws them at me. My reflexes are all fucked up, so the keys drop to the floor. She looks at me curiously as if she knows. “Now run down to the drug store and get my prescription. I’ll put the groceries away.” Naw, she doesn’t know. She’s too stupid to know a drug addict when she sees one. She’s probably never seen anyone on drugs in her perfect little sheltered life.

  I think about what just happened. I really shouldn’t have snapped at her. I overstepped. She is right. She is Ice’s old lady and therefore queen of this MC. She gets my respect whether she deserves it or not. I know it’s the coke talking. If I’m not careful with my outbursts, it won’t be long before they’ll know.

  I pick up my keys. “I’m sorry, Emma. I’ll head down there now,” I say apologetically. Great, she’s gonna stay pissed at me and probably tell Ice all about this little encounter. I’m so screwed.

  She doesn’t say another word and rummages through the bags. I turn toward the door and notice Ice standing there looking furious. Oh, fuck! Nope, she doesn’t have to tell him. He already knows, and he’s not looking pleased. He doesn’t say a word as I walk out the door.

  He knows. Oh fuck, what do I do now? It was so much easier when they were away. I look around to make sure he didn’t follow me out. I’m nervous and scared. The last thing I need right now is Ice’s wrath. I run to my car.

  I’m still jittery from the coke I had earlier when I get into my car. The last thing I should be doing right now is driving. I do know better. But I can’t go back in there and tell her I’m fucked up and can’t drive. You’ve made your bed, Honey, time to lie in it. I start the engine and try my hardest to focus. Backing out of the parking space, I cut the turn too closely and almost sideswipe Emma’s car. Fuck! Focus, Honey, you have to focus.

  I get out onto the road and drive toward the drug store. I think this is the way. Shit, I fucking can’t remember. Even though I second-guess myself, I continue driving in the direction I originally headed. It’s only a few miles down the road, no turns. I do remember that. About ten minutes later, I pull up next to the drug store. Thank fuck!

  I go in and get her prescription. The clerk gives me a sideways glance as I’m antsy. She can see I’m anxious to get the fuck out of there and does nothing to speed up getting me checked out. Finally, she hands me the prescription and I leave.

  When I get back to the car, I’m surprised to find it’s still running. Oh, shit! I immediately go to the door and pray it’s not locked. The last thing I need is to call someone to come with a spare key. Do I have a spare key? Thankfully, it’s not locked. I get in and proceed to head back.

  Ten minutes later, I pull into the parking lot at the clubhouse. I can’t help the sigh of relief that escapes me. I was so worried that if I got pulled over, the fucking cop would know I was high. Now it is time to face Ice.

  It’s now close to four, and I really need to get dinner ready. I walk inside the clubhouse and nobody is around. Oh, thank fuck. I run up the back stairs to my room and pull my stash out of my purse. After taking another hit, I feel better immediately. What happened to once a day? my subconscious reminds me. Fuck you! I answer back.

  I hide the bag in my dresser drawer, then go into the bathroom and check my face to ensure there is no evidence lingering. Once I am sure I got everything, I brush my hair and leave my room. I’m ready to face them now. I can breathe again.

  I get down into the common area, and still nobody is around—well, except Hobbes. That damn dog. He’s lucky he’s so cute. He’s sprawled on the couch on his back, feet straight up in the air. Silly dog. He looks so freaking adorable, and I can’t help but go over and rub his belly.

  When I’m done loving on Hobbes, I walk into the kitchen. Emma and Sainte are sitting at the kitchen table. Where’s Ice? I wonder. Oh, I’m sure he’ll come find me. He is not going to let me get away with talking to Emma the way I did. “Hey,” I say as I step in farther.

  “Hey, Feisty Pants,” Sainte says. He fucking knows I hate when he calls me that, and I know he does it just to get a rise out of me. If I could only show him it doesn’t bother me, he would stop. But I can’t.

  Emma must still be pissed at me ’cause she doesn’t even acknowledge me.

  Sainte looks at her and then me. “Aw, did my two best girls have a fight?” He’s such an ass.

  “No,” I reply and make my way to the fridge to get things ready for dinner.

  Sainte’s phone beeps. He looks down at it and says, “Emma, your man wants to see us both in his office.”

  She gets up from the table, and they both leave without another word.

  What’s up with that shit? Ice was my man first, but everyone here seems to have forgotten that. Including him. I continue to get dinner ready. Looking back at the entrance to the kitchen, I can’t help but wonder what’s going on.

  Chapter 5

  Sainte

  Emma and I walk across the common area to Ice’s office. Hobbes—who is lying on the couch snoozing—wakes up, jumps from the couch, and follows us. When we get to the door, I knock.

  “Come in.” Ice says.

  Emma and I walk in, Hobbes following close behind.

  “Really, Emma?” he asks, looking at the dog and then back at her.

  She smiles sweetly but doesn’t say a word. She sits in one of the chairs across from Ice’s desk, and Hobbes lies down and curls up at her feet.

  “Look at it this way, Ice. She’s always got a bodyguard.”

  “Yeah, but he’s not supposed to protect her from me.”

  She giggles and leans over to pet the dog. She’s got both of them trained exactly how she wants them. I chuckle.

  After I sit, she asks, “Is something wrong?” She looks at Ice and then me. Neither of us say anything. “Guys, come on. What’s going on?”

  Ice stands from his chair, comes around to the front of his desk, and leans against it. “I need to tell you something,” he says, and from the sound of it, he sounds as if he has some great confession to tell her. Why the fuck is it so hard?

  “Ice, you’re making a big deal out of nothing. Just tell her.”
I’m frustrated. He’s worrying her for no reason.

  He shakes his head. “Fine.” He takes Emma’s hand, “Darlin’, I need to tell you about Sainte and his connection to you.”

  “Oh God, Caden, please don’t tell me he is my long-lost brother. I think I’ve had enough of long-lost brothers to last a lifetime.”

  I can’t help but laugh, and Ice throws me an angry stare. Emma laughs too, and he shoots her the same look. Sometimes, he just has no sense of humor.

  “Oh come on, Ice. That was funny.”

  “Whatever.” He walks around to the other side of his desk and sits. “Emma, you and Sainte are cousins. He is your father’s nephew.”

  Emma looks over at me. “You are? Why didn’t I ever know you?”

  “Well, darlin’, in my younger days, I spent a lot of time in juvie. The last time I was at your house, I was eighteen. And that time, I got myself in a lot of trouble and ended up doing real time in jail.”

  She looks at me confused. “You couldn’t be much older than Caden…”

  “Just by two years.”

  “Well, that would have made Caden sixteen. I would have been ten. I should remember you.”

  “Yeah, you should, if you had been home. Your mom didn’t want me to come, but your dad couldn’t say no to my mom. Your dad always liked having me around. Your mom, not so much. So your mom took you away that weekend because she didn’t want you associated with someone like me.”

  “Oh.” She looks over at Ice and then back at me. “So what were you in jail for the last time?”

  “Involuntary manslaughter.”

  She takes a deep breath and leans back in her chair. Before she can speak, Ice chimes in. “Emma, that last weekend Sainte was home, he covered for me and kept me out of juvi.”

  “What happened?”

  “Ice and I had always been good friends. Before I started getting in trouble, I used to come visit all the time, but you were so young, it doesn’t surprise me that you don’t remember me. Right before I came to visit the last time, I had just gotten out for doing some petty theft thing, and I had just turned eighteen.”

  “I dug into my stash of fake IDs, and we hit one of the bars in Waterford. I figured small town, low profile… what could happen?” I shake my head and smirk. “If I only knew.”

  “What happened?” she asks again.

  “We got into a fight. The other guy started it, but unfortunately, he died a few days later, and I was arrested for manslaughter.”

  She looks back at Ice. “Why didn’t you get arrested? Or did you?”

  “No, darlin’, I didn’t get arrested thanks to Sainte. When they tried to take me in, Sainte stepped up and told them he had no idea who I was and that I had nothing to do with the fight. They believed him.”

  “Oh my God.” She sighs. “Why would you do that?”

  “Because I had already been through the system, in and out of trouble. I didn’t want to see Caden get caught up in all that.” I rake my hand through my hair. “Besides, I should have been smarter about the whole thing anyway and never should have let the guy get under my skin.”

  “So how did you end up with Michael Vitali?”

  I laugh. “My dad, your uncle, was one of his dad’s attorneys.” I sit back in the chair. “My dad used to talk about the Vitali family as if they were some type of royalty. He always left me in awe of them. Even when I got older and knew who and what they really were, I still wanted to be a part of it all. So when I got out of jail, I approached Michael and told him he needed an enforcer.” I shrug. “And the rest is Vitali family history.”

  “Enforcer?”

  I laugh. “Don’t go there, Emma. That’s a question you definitely don’t want to know the answer to.”

  She heeds my advice and looks at Ice. “I always wondered why you had sent for him after you were arrested. Now I understand.” She turns back toward me. “So you two have always kept in touch?”

  “Yes, I was the reason Michael and Ice met and formed the alliance they have now.” My phone beeps. Once I get it out of my pocket, I look down and see it’s Michael. Holding my phone up and turning toward Ice, I say, “Speak of the devil.”

  “I’m sorry, darlin’, but we need to take this call,” Ice says.

  “Oh, okay,” she says as she gets up. She kisses Ice on the cheek and whispers, “I love you.” She turns toward me and says, “From the minute you arrived, I felt a connection to you. I’m glad you’re here, Sainte.” Emma scurries out of his office, Hobbes following close behind her. I return to the phone.

  “Hey, Mikey, what’s up?”

  “Sorry to bother you. I just wanted to check in and see how Ice was taking the news about Romeo. I promised him he could have Romeo, and I feel bad.”

  “Actually, I haven’t had a chance, but no worries, I got this.”

  “Thanks, man. I owe you. Let me know if there is a problem.”

  “You got it.”

  Michael disconnects the line.

  “What was that about?”

  I hesitate. “Well, I didn’t get a chance to tell you yet.”

  “What?”

  “Romeo is dead.”

  “He what?” He leans forward in his chair. “He fuckin’ promised me.”

  I nod. “I know, I know, but shit happened last night.” I proceed to tell Ice everything Michael told me earlier. When I’m done, I finish by saying, “It couldn’t be avoided.”

  He sits back down. “Yeah, I get it. But fuck, I wanted the pleasure of seeing the life leave his eyes. It’s his fault Hawk is gone.”

  “I know, man, but the consolation is Romeo is lying in fragments in a trash bag somewhere.”

  He smirks. “Yeah, that is a nice thought.” He hesitates and then says, “So, while we are here, what do you make of this whole Honey situation? That girl has been with this club for years now, and she has always been the first one up. It’s not like her to sleep late.” He pulls out two cigars and hands me one. He lights his and then hands me the lighter. “And, I walked in on her and Emma earlier today. She fucking snapped at my girl. I wanted to throttle her, but I waited and watched as Emma set her straight.” He shrugs. “I have to say, I was pretty damn proud of my girl.”

  “Let me see what I can find out.” I take a hit on my cigar. “Can I ask you something?”

  “Yeah, what?”

  “Do you think that Hawk’s dying drove her to start using again?”

  He smirks. “I was thinking the same thing, and if she is, God help her. That is one thing I will not tolerate here.”

  “I know. Let me talk to her.”

  “Fine.” He takes another hit of his cigar. “Fuck, we haven’t been home twenty-four hours and shit hits the fan.”

  Chapter 6

  Honey

  “Dinner’s ready,” I call toward the common area of the clubhouse. Ice and Sainte emerge from his office and walk toward me. “Emma and I are gonna have dinner at home tonight, Honey, but thanks.”

  “I fuckin’ made dinner for everyone!” I snap.

  Ice grabs my arm. “What the fuck did you just say to me?” His eyes narrow as he glares at me. Oh fuck, he’s pissed.

  I stumble. “I’m sorry. I just prepared a special meal to welcome you all home.”

  “Don’t you ever talk to me like that again,” he demands and then looks at Sainte.

  Sainte nods. What the fuck is that all about?

  Ice and Emma leave, and the rest of the boys—Rebel, Ryder, Spike, Doc, Tiny, Dbag, and Sainte—make their way into the kitchen and sit at the big dining table in the center of the room. All through dinner, the boys talk about shit stuff like the latest Harley that just came out. Some of them want new bikes, while others are happy with the ride they have. It’s all nonsense to me, and I find I can’t wait until they all leave the kitchen so I can have time to myself.

  When dinner is finished, the boys disperse, except for Sainte. What the fuck does he want?

  “You feelin’ okay, Feisty
Pants?” he asks as I clear the table. He picks up some plates to help.

  I drop the plates I am carrying down on the counter next to the sink and say, “Will you please stop calling me that?”

  “Truth hurts, darlin’,” he says as he sets the plates next to the ones I just set down. “You didn’t answer my question.”

  “I’m fine, Sainte,” I say, irritated. Why won’t he just go away? Now that he is SA, there is no chance in hell of him leaving. He’s a part of this club, and I just have to get used to it. But it doesn’t mean he has to be in my face twenty-four seven.

  He shakes his head. “You’ve been a little snappy lately, and we’re all worried about you.”

  “Well, stop worrying. I’m fine,” I snap.

  He stands next to me. “Look at me.” I know that if I look at him, he will see in my eyes that I am high. I ignore him. He grabs my chin and turns my head toward him. He stares down, and the snarky smile he had earlier turns into a frown. He knows. “I knew it.”

  “Oh fuck, Sainte, it was just one hit,” I lie. “Please don’t tell Ice or the others.” I plead with him.

  “Yeah, today. But Emma says you had been sleeping late the entire time we were gone. According to the boys around here, you are always the first one up.”

  “Emma is a busybody little tattletale. She wouldn’t know someone on drugs to save her life.”

  “Calm down there, darlin’. She’s just worried about you. Contrary to what you think, Emma loves you. Ice too. They both care about you a great deal.”

  “Yeah, if they cared, I’d still be with Ice, and Emma would be long gone.”

  “Are you still fucking harboring over that? Get over it, darlin’. I told you and I believe Hawk told you as well: Ice was never the man for you. Your man is standing right here.” He points at himself. “I’m just waiting for you to wake up and realize it.” He takes my hand and leads me to sit with him at the table. “Now tell me, how long have you been using?”

  I start to cry. “Since the funeral,” I lie. I can’t let him know how long it’s been. I thought I was being so careful, but the last few days I have been hitting more, and it’s been more difficult to hide.