by Amy Cecil
Sainte looks up from his laptop and stares. “Damn, woman, you look good enough to eat.”
I smile. Even though I particularly don’t like him, sex with him is amazing and better than sex with Ice. And that’s sayin’ something.
“So you like what you see?” I ask, mimicking his earlier comment.
He chuckles as he gets up from the chair, and before I know it, I’m in his arms. My clothes and towel lie in a heap on the floor beside me, and he is kissing me. Fuck, he takes my breath away. He pulls my body close to his and deepens the kiss. And then, just as fast as I was in his arms, I am pushed away.
Wait, what?
“Sorry, I couldn’t resist,” he says as he turns away.
“You don’t have to stop.” I walk up behind him and wrap my arms around his waist. I may not like him, but I love having sex with him.
His hands grab onto mine at his waist. “I do. No sex for us right now. You need to stay focused, and so do I.”
I hear the disappointment in his voice, and I find I’m disappointed too. I step away, gather my clothes, and dress.
Sainte walks back to his laptop, powers it down, and closes the lid. Once I’m dressed, he asks, “You ready?”
“Yep,” I reply eagerly.
We walk to the door, but he stops and turns toward me. “Remember your promise.”
I nod.
He opens the door, and we step out. As we make our way toward the stairs, he lets me go first down the steps. Suddenly, I have this overwhelming urge to please him, to not disappoint him. I stop midway down the steps and turn back. “I won’t disappoint you.”
He smiles. “Good girl.”
That’s all I need to hear. I turn back and proceed down the stairs. I stop at the bottom of the steps.
Ice and Emma are sitting at the bar having coffee. Fuck! I’m not ready to face Ice right now. My behavior yesterday was completely uncalled for. Make amends, Honey. It’s number eight, my subconscious reminds me. Number eight of the twelve steps: make a list of all persons I have harmed and make amends. Subsequently, I remember number nine: make direct amends to such people whenever possible. This is so fucking hard.
I look up at Sainte, and as if he knows exactly what I am thinking, he nods. I step up to the bar. “Good morning.”
“Good morning,” Ice replies curtly. I expected that. I’ve seen him mad before, many times, but it was never directed at me like it was yesterday. And I know I fully deserved his anger.
Emma, being the gracious, caring individual she always has been, gives me a hug. “Good morning. How are you feeling?” Apparently, she is now privy to everything that happened yesterday in her absence.
I smile. “Okay, a little shaky, but doing okay.” I look at Sainte again for some kind of reassurance. God, I fucking hate this. He nods, giving me the encouragement I need.
I turn toward Ice. “Ice, I wanted to sincerely apologize for my behavior yesterday.”
“Thank you, Honey. I hope we won’t have any more outbursts like that again.”
I’ve learned through my past experience with rehab to not make promises unless I know without a doubt I can keep them. The best I can do is continue to strive to do what is right and not allow the addiction to consume me. So I give him the best response I can. I shake my head. “I’m working on it.”
“That’s good to hear.” He smiles, and a wave of relief washes over me. Ice has always been my savior. He’s my hero, and the last thing I want is to be in his bad graces. I know my behavior since Hawk died has pissed him off, but that smile tells me he has not given up hope on me. It means everything.
Chapter 13
Sainte
After Honey takes the first step in mending things with Ice, I go into the kitchen and pour two cups of coffee, then take them out to the bar. I hand her a cup and she moans. My dick immediately gets hard and strains against my jeans as I think about that kiss in her room a few minutes ago. I can make her moan. But, not only does Honey need to stay focused, I need to. Sex cannot be her way of coping with her addiction. As much as I want to be her new addiction and be balls deep inside her right now, I have to put her sobriety first. We will get through this, and then she won’t be able to walk for days. I guarantee it. Focus, Sainte. Focus.
I reach in my pocket and pull out a protein bar to hand to Honey. “Here, eat this.”
Her shoulders slump. “Do I have to?”
“Yes.”
She takes the protein bar, opens it, and takes small bites. She needs something in her stomach, or that coffee will make her feel worse. I know she had a banana earlier, but this will help.
“And here, don’t forget your vitamins.” I hand them to her, and she takes them without question.
I turn toward Ice. “Got a minute?”
“Sure,” he replies. “What’s up?”
“I did a little digging last night.” He nods and gets up from his bar stool, then kisses Emma on the cheek. Hobbes, who is at his usual post at Emma’s feet, looks up at him, moans, and lies back down. Ice rolls his eyes and walks toward his office.
I turn back toward Honey. “Will you be okay for a few minutes? I have to talk to Ice about some club stuff.”
She nods.
I look at Emma. “Do you mind?”
“Of course not,” Emma replies with a smile.
“You stay right here. Understand?”
She nods, and I follow Ice to his office. When I get inside, I close the door behind me.
“You sure she is okay to be left alone?” he asks.
“Yeah, I’m sure.”
“That’s what you said before,” he snaps.
“Fucking hell, Ice. You gonna always throw it in my face?”
He shakes his head. “No, sorry. Just having a bad morning.” He sits down, leans back in his chair, and asks, “Whatcha got?”
“Well, it looks like my suspicions were right. Tranquil Gardens is a front for some illicit activities, one being human trafficking.”
“Who are we dealing with?”
“I’m not sure. What I found was a parent company called Jadco. Jadco is tied to the Satans, but I don’t think the Satans own Jadco. I’m guessing they are just local managers or something of that sort. I think there is a bigger fish at the top.”
“Like who?”
I raise my eyebrows. “You really wanna know?”
“No, I just asked for the hell of it.” He’s such a fucking smartass.
“Obviously I don’t know exactly who, but it’s someone untouchable. He or she has taken a remote location like Edinboro and has planted what we all think to be an up-and-up spa. It’s the perfect hiding place for something like this ’cause nobody would suspect Edinboro to be a place where trafficking is on the radar. It’s too small time.”
“I don’t wanna bring this up to the club yet. Keep it on the down low for now. Keep digging and let me know what you find.”
I nod.
He looks toward the door and asks, “How’s things going with that?”
“Better. She’s got a long road ahead of her. I think she asked me to get her some coke about five times last night.” I shrug. “But that is to be expected. She’s starting to detox and feels like shit. You realize her apology to you was a big step?”
“Yeah, I know. I still don’t trust her yet to stay clean.”
I shake my head. “I don’t either. Which reminds me, I’ve left her alone long enough. We done?”
“Yep,” he replies as he stands from his desk. I walk toward his door, and he follows me out. I’d be lying if I said I was not pleased to see Honey and Emma talking quietly at the bar. She’s holding her cup of coffee as if it’s her lifeblood, but that’s okay. I’d rather her be addicted to caffeine than coke.
I walk up to the bar and place my arm around Honey. “Talkin’ ’bout me?”
She laughs. “As if.” At least she still has her sense of humor.
“Come on, Feisty Pants. We’re going for a ride.”
She stands from
her bar stool. “But I’m not dressed to ride.”
“Well, let’s fix that.” I smack her on the butt. “Get a move on and get upstairs and get changed.” She turns to head up the steps and realizes I am right behind her.
“Really, Sainte? I can’t even be trusted to change my clothes without you?”
I shake my head. “Nope. Glued at the hip, love,” I reply, and we continue up the stairs. When we get to her room, she goes in and rummages through her things to pick out some riding clothes. “How are you feeling?” I ask her.
She stops, takes a deep breath, and says, “Not great. I feel like a truck hit me, my stomach is queasy, and I want a hit.”
“I like the honesty. If you told me you were fine, I’d know you were lying, and that would not have been acceptable.”
“You forget, Sainte, I’ve been down this road before.”
“Yep, you have.” She quickly changes and is ready in about five minutes. I can’t help but smile. Honey is a no-nonsense kinda girl. She doesn’t spend hours putting on makeup or fretting over what she is going to wear. She never complains about her appearance. She is definitely my kind of girl: beautiful, smart, and low maintenance.
“Let’s go.” We make our way down the stairs and through the clubhouse. Ice and Emma are sitting at the bar, and I holler at them, “We’ll be back in a couple of hours. Gonna go check some things out.”
Ice nods. He knows exactly where I’m heading.
We walk out to my bike, and I get on. I put my helmet on while Honey stands there and waits. I hand her the spare helmet, and she puts it on. “Hop on,” I say, but she hesitates. I start to say something smart to her and then I realize why she is hesitating. Hawk. I wait a couple of seconds and then say, “I won’t bite.”
She laughs and seems to have worked through what was bothering her. I’m sure it was because the last bike she rode on was with Hawk. She gets on and wraps her arms around me. I could get used to this.
I fire up the bike and start to pull forward. We pick up speed and make our way to the gate. The prospects see us coming and start to open it. By the time we get there, we have just enough space to whiz through. We get out on Highway 99, and I give my Harley the full throttle. The bike soars, and I hear Honey giggle. Ain’t nothing better than riding my bike. Well, okay, maybe one thing better. Riding my bike with Honey riding on the back.
I drive straight toward town and the Tranquil Gardens. When we get there and I park, Honey takes off her helmet. “Why are we here?” She hands the helmet to me and says, “Not a repeat of the last time we were here, I hope.”
I chuckle. “Oh, baby, you loved it and you know it. Remember, honesty is the best policy.”
She gets off the bike. “Yeah, whatever.”
I proceed to get off the bike, hanging both our helmets from the handlebars. “Really, Sainte, why are we here?”
“Club stuff I need to check on for Ice.” I walk to the door and turn back toward her. “Keep your mouth shut and let me handle this. If I ask you something, play along, okay?” she nods. She has no idea why I’m here, and she has a very curious look on her face, but she doesn’t say anything as we enter the spa.
When I step into the lobby, I notice the same girl who was here yesterday is here again. Perfect. I walk up to the counter. “Hey there, darlin’.”
She turns toward me and blushes. She remembers me.
“I was wondering if you could help me out.”
“Uh, yeah, sure,” she says nervously.
“I noticed the other day when I was here…” I turn back toward Honey and say, “By the way, my fiancée here thanks you for what you did for us.”
Honey opens her mouth, and by her expression, I get the feeling she is going to say something we both will regret, but she quickly checks herself and says, “So you’re the one that was responsible for that incredible massage I had the other day.” She wraps her arms around my waist. “I don’t know how to thank you.” She turns toward me. “Right, sweetums?”
It takes everything in me not to burst out laughing, and I’m afraid that if I respond, I won’t be able to hold the laughter back, so I nod.
Once I get my composure back, I continue. “Anyway, I noticed you have really late hours. I find it kinda odd for a day spa, hence the word day. It got me curious so I was wondering what type of services you offered in the wee hours of the morning.” I turn to Honey. “My lady and I may be interested in booking something private.”
“Oh, this place is crazy after ten at night. The later it gets, the more wild it gets,” she says.
“How so? We are looking for a special place for couples, if you know what I mean.”
She nods. “Oh, I know exactly what you mean. We have a whole downstairs area for just about any fetish or fantasy you and your lady might have.” She is not being very careful with her words, which tells me that in her mind, there is nothing to hide. But, she is also nervous. She keeps looking in the back as if she is afraid someone is going to come out.
“Do we need an appointment?”
She nods, and I look at Honey. “Well, what do you think, sweetums? Are you interested in exploring different things?” I use her choice of words.
“You know me, babe. I’m down for just about anything,” she says confidently. This conversation is making me want to lay her out on the counter and have my way with her. But I refrain. Focus.
“So when can we get an appointment?”
The girl pulls out a red book. The appointment book is lying on the counter, but I quickly realize it is for the daytime appointments. The red book is for the nighttime appointments. She flips through the pages. “Oh, wow. We are usually booked for weeks, but we had a cancellation for Friday night. Would that work for you?”
“What time?” I ask.
“Twelve thirty.”
I turn to Honey, and she nods. “Book it.”
“Name please?” she asks.
Before I can answer her, Honey chimes in. “Benson. Nick and Amanda Benson.”
The girl giggles. “I thought you two were engaged.”
Oh, fuck. But again, Honey fixes that problem. “Go figure us both having the same last name. You know, sweetie, Benson is such a common name. Hell, we could be Smiths or Jones.”
The girl laughs and notes our names in the book. “You are all set. Please plan to arrive by eleven forty-five. We’ll see you both tomorrow night.”
“Thank you,” I say to the girl, and we turn away to leave.
“Mr. Benson!” the girl calls. “Mr. Benson!”
Oh, fuck. That’s me. I turn back. “You need to have this to get in.” She hands me a red key. “Because of the late hour, we lock our doors past ten, so you need special access. And enter through the red door on the side of the building.” I take the key and Honey, and I leave.
Once we’re outside, Honey begins to talk. I shake my head. “No, not now,” I say. I get on my bike, put my helmet on, and start the engine. Honey gets her helmet on and gets on the bike. I back out of the parking space, and we make our way back to the clubhouse.
When we get back and Honey dismounts from the bike, she stands there tapping her foot until I cut off the engine. Once it’s quiet, she asks, “What was that all about?”
“I’m acting on a hunch. Tomorrow night, we’re going to be a couple in love looking for… what did she say? Something different?”
Her hand immediately goes to her hip and she stomps her foot. “I’m not sleeping with you again, Sainte. If this is some ploy for you to get back in my pants, it ain’t happening.”
I can’t help the grin that crosses my face. “Remember the part when I said if I tell you to jump, you ask how high?”
She shakes her head. “That did not include sexual favors!” She argues.
“Yeah, keep telling yourself that, darlin’.” I laugh as I get off my bike, hang my helmet, and walk inside the clubhouse, leaving Honey still standing outside.
Chapter 14
Honey
> That man is so infuriating! I stomp inside the clubhouse and slam the door behind me. Ice, Emma, Sainte, and Rebel are sitting at the bar, and they all look up. Oh, fuck! I have to behave. “Sorry, didn’t mean to slam the door.”
Sainte laughs at me again, which is pissing me off. I swear, one of these days, I’m gonna get payback.
“Just so you all know, the door slamming is my fault.” He comes to my rescue before they all think the worst. It only pisses me off more.
I walk up to the bar, and for the first time since we left for the spa, I think about getting some coke. Riding on Sainte’s bike and the whole time we were there, I didn’t think about it once. Now that I am back, and Hawk’s absence is staring me in the face, I want it. Fuck, I don’t just want it. I need it. I have to keep myself occupied.
“Whatcha all doing?” I ask, my voice a little shaky.
“Just hanging around, nothing going on. It’s been a quiet afternoon,” Emma answers.
“Well, I guess I should go start dinner.” I start to walk toward the kitchen, but Sainte grabs my arm.
“Nope, Emma is cooking tonight.”
“But I’m fine. I can handle dinner,” I say in protest.
He pulls me close and speaks a little lower. “You are not fine. I could see the change the minute you walked into the clubhouse.”
“It will help if I keep busy.”
He shakes his head. “No, it won’t.” He pauses and looks at Emma. “Besides, Emma’s already started dinner.” He releases his hold on me and says, “I need a few minutes with Ice. I’m sure Emma can use some help though. Why don’t you hang out here with her, and I’ll be back in a few. Then we can work through this.”
I give him the evil eye, but I know I can’t win this fight, so I nod. He stands from the barstool, and he and Ice walk toward Ice’s office. I wonder what that is about. Probably the spa, I would guess.
When the boys are out of earshot, Emma turns toward me. “Come on, Honey. I could use some help. It’s getting harder and harder being on my feet and all.” She struggles to get off her barstool but manages to touch down with both feet. Hobbes gets up and stands next to her. That damn dog is devoted to her. I wonder if he is over protective with her because she is pregnant. Do dogs sense those things?
