Make Me Stay (Men of Gold Mountain)

by Rebecca Brooks

  But it was too late for second thoughts. She was here, the blueprints were rolled in her hand, and a brand-new deal was signed. One shot to convince him, she reminded herself. What would her father say?

  But she couldn’t ask herself that when what she was about to propose was nothing like the plan her father had. She was on her own now. She had been for the last three years, but it wasn’t until she’d stood in that office shaking Arthur Henderson’s hand that she truly understood it. She was the CEO, the one in charge. It was up to her to show Austin her vision and hope he’d understand the possibility she was laying at his feet.

  She turned to face him.

  “I’m sorry,” she said. “I know I don’t have a right to barge in here. I certainly don’t have the right to ask anything of you. So you don’t have to forgive me. But I still have to say it. I’m sorry.”

  Austin’s lips tightened. She couldn’t read his expression. She’d expected him to be angry, maybe even refuse to see her. She hadn’t expected this sadness, the pain in his voice when he said, “Were you never planning on telling me? Were you just going to leave without another word, whenever you decided to head back to work?”

  Sam stepped toward him but stopped before getting too close. She wanted to tell him she’d never do that, she’d never abandon him the way he’d been by his parents, coaches—everyone who was supposed to care for him when he was young.

  But of course she couldn’t say that. Because wasn’t that exactly what she’d intended to do? Maybe not in those terms, maybe not once she’d started to fall for him. But she couldn’t say it had never crossed her mind.

  “I don’t know what I was going to do,” she admitted. “Obviously this wasn’t something I’d planned. I really, really wanted to tell you—but at a certain point, I didn’t know how.”

  But wasn’t that another lie? A thing she was supposed to say even though time and time again she’d gone out of her way to keep the truth from him? She’d been so sure she’d done the right thing, or the okay thing, or at least not the most horrible thing by not disclosing who she was and why she was there. But seeing the look in Austin’s eyes and hearing the platitudes come out of her mouth…

  “No.” She shook her head. “You’re right. I’m past pretending—at least with you. I didn’t want to tell you. I was terrified you would find out. Because this time we’ve spent together, the way we are together—” She met his eyes. “I wanted you, Austin. Against my better judgment I wanted you, and I knew that if I told you who I was, you wouldn’t want me back. You and your friends would sit around talking about how much you hated me, how you’d fight me at all costs, and I’d never have a chance.”

  He blinked. “A chance at what, Samantha?”

  “Sam,” she said. “Please. The people who know me call me Sam. It’s only at work, in public, that I’m Samantha, and I don’t want to be that with you. I wasn’t making that up when I told you my name. It was the only name that fit from the moment I met you.”

  “Answer the question, Sam,” he said, and she was so relieved to hear that word come out of his mouth, the same name he’d cried when he was inside her, the closest to her that anyone could be, that it didn’t matter how distant his voice was, how closed off he was from her now.

  The force of the memory made her body pulse. It wasn’t fair how her heart could leap up on its own accord, oblivious to anything else. She had to remind herself to heel. This wasn’t the time.

  Yet desire was a wayward child, reaching up, yearning, unable to understand why it couldn’t have what was right in front of it. What it so desperately craved.

  “When I first met you, I’m pretty sure you knew exactly what I was looking for.” Heat rose to her face, but she didn’t stop talking. “You turned out to be more than a one-night thing, more than a pretty face and a few good laughs before I had to go. I know I blew it, Austin. I’m not going to pretend I don’t realize that.” She paused. “But I actually came here in person to show you something.”

  “The papers?” He pointed to the blueprints she’d brought in.

  “I might have at one point expected to give you a sales pitch. But there’s something else I want to share with you.”

  She unrolled the blueprints on the kitchen table, using water glasses to weigh down the sides. He stood next to her, looking over her shoulder. She brushed her fingertips over his where he rested his palm on the corner of the blueprints and pulled away quickly, embarrassed by her sudden lapse.

  “What is this?” Austin asked, like he hadn’t noticed her accidental brush even though she could tell by the strain in his voice that he had.

  “These are the basic blueprints for the original Kane expansion.”

  “Okay.”

  “There’s your house, the woods, and the boundaries for the proposed condo development.”

  He nodded, but he didn’t really seem to look. Sam pulled out a second sheet, a transparency, and unfolded it over the first. “This is just a sketch. I did it in the Hendersons’ offices, so it doesn’t look like much. I’m not an architect, I just hire them.” She tried to laugh at herself, but Austin’s expression stayed blank. “Okay, too soon,” she muttered. “But look, this is what I want to show you.”

  She was in business mode now, running through the plan she’d come up with just that evening. Not what she’d said to the Hendersons when she first pitched them about the sale, words written up and pored over by lawyers, developers, architects, planners until the sentences twisted and spun, turning meaningless in her mind. Not at all what she would have said had she ever had that official sit-down with Mr. Reede. These were words she’d come up with on the spot, when all of a sudden it had hit her what had to be done. These were words she meant.

  This wasn’t her father’s vision anymore, but her project through and through. She’d picked it up when she became CEO three years ago, but she had the power to shape it any way she saw fit. It was a tremendous responsibility. She could fail completely and disgrace not only herself but her father’s memory and the company name.

  Or she could be the one to change everything for the good.

  Sam pointed to the changes in the roads, the sections of land, the areas where Gold Mountain would expand. “I don’t understand what I’m looking at,” Austin said, running his finger south from the serpentine line Sam had drawn to represent the main road running up to the lodge. “This whole area where Pine Point is—why isn’t there anything drawn over that?”

  “Because that’s going to be left as it is.”

  “That’s where we went on the snowmobile,” Austin reminded her.

  “I know,” she said softly. As if she could have forgotten how they’d stood just that morning looking over the world.

  He drummed his fingers on the table. She recognized the gesture as a sign of the energy that came up inside him and needed somewhere to go. It made him ski, run, work himself ragged. She recognized it because it was the same force that kept her in the office, working, thinking, making things happen. Making plans real.

  She willed him to understand what she was showing him. She begged him silently to say yes, even before she’d fully explained what she meant.

  “The sale with the Hendersons is done, Austin,” she said. “I finalized it today.”

  Beside her he seemed to deflate, his size and strength and fortitude unraveling before her eyes.

  “But it’s not the deal that was in the papers,” she went on. “It’s not the deal that’s on this blueprint.” She pointed to the first sheet she’d unrolled, the one below the transparency she’d laid on top. Saying this out loud was making her legs shake. What the hell had she done?

  Austin stared at her. “Are you telling me you bought all this land but aren’t going to do the planned expansion?”

  Sam pulled out two chairs from the table. “Sit,” she said, as though it was for his benefit and not because she was afraid she was going to tumble right over. Austin seemed to waver for a moment, as though still
unsure about being next to her, but in the end he did, looking the table, trying to make sense of what she’d put down.

  “Kane Enterprises now owns over fifteen thousand acres in the Gold Mountain ski area,” Sam explained. “The only areas that are larger in the state of Washington—and in most of the country—are government lands.”

  Austin let out a whistle. She thought he looked almost afraid of her then, fidgeting in his chair, not meeting her eyes. And she supposed he had good reason to be. The thought of what her company now owned made her a little afraid of herself.

  “It’s going to be the third-largest ski resort in the U.S.,” Austin said quietly, parroting the stats that had been circulating around the state. “More than enough to keep up with Whistler. Dwarfing anything outside Utah and Colorado.”

  Sam nodded. “Exactly.” She paused. And then, when she was finally ready, she said the words that had been drilling through her brain the entire drive to Austin’s. “And I want you to help me do it right.”

  Austin’s leg stopped jostling midair. “What are you talking about?”

  “I once asked you what you’d do to this area if you had unlimited—or, okay, nearly unlimited—resources. If you had the backing of a company like Kane.”

  “That was just joking around,” Austin said. “I didn’t even know you were—”

  “Serious,” Sam interrupted, because she wanted him to know that she was. “I know, again, that it was wrong not to tell you. I understand if you feel like I took you for a ride. But you opened my eyes to everything around here, and when I asked if you had a plan, something you’d want to do, you didn’t hesitate. You said yes, because as much as you love it here, you know you could do something with the infusion of money and resources the mountain is about to get. And you know what you’re talking about. You’ve studied this, you have ideas for what would work best, what people here need.”

  Sam was getting excited now, her voice rising, the telltale spark she got when she grabbed hold of an idea and couldn’t let it go. It didn’t matter that Austin was looking at her like she was out of her mind. She knew she was right—she knew this could happen.

  She also knew she didn’t want to do it without him.

  “I’m not talking about us,” she continued. “I want to be clear I’m not asking anything from you, or expecting anything in return for what I’m offering. We have our differences. I’ve made my mistakes. I’m sorry for what I did, but now I’m asking that we put that behind us.” She plowed through the speech, no matter that the words cut like daggers into her heart. “This isn’t about what happens between us personally. This is purely business.” She looked at him to make sure he understood.

  “Okay,” he said, taking it in. “If it’s not about us, then what is it about?”

  “I want you to be my business partner. I’m asking you to take the lead on this development plan.”

  “You’re crazy,” he said right away.

  “No. I’ve thought about this, and I know it’s the answer Gold Mountain needs, and Kane Enterprises, too. I’m still spearheading the project, but you’d be the consultant—not in an office in Seattle, but out here. Your hours, your goals. Name your price. I can pay you whatever you want.”

  Austin rolled his eyes. “This isn’t about the money, Sam. I’ve already sold you what you wanted. You can’t just buy me off.”

  “I’m not buying you off. I’m hiring you for your services. You’re experienced, you’re qualified, you’d be great for the team. It’s not every day someone comes along and gives you free rein, along with whatever salary and benefits you’re looking for. Think long and hard before you turn this down just because you’re mad at me. We can leave our personal issues outside of this. You don’t have to talk to me about anything beyond business. But I want you on board.” She risked a grin. “And I should warn you, I have a habit of getting what I want.”

  Austin exhaled slowly. “I see that.” But he didn’t get up, or walk away, and he didn’t demand that she leave. That at least was a promising start.

  She walked him through the sketch again, pointing out her initial ideas and reminding him of the issues he’d brought up. When Sam handed Austin a pen, he uncapped it and immediately began sketching, laying out the crossroads for a new intersection south of the mountain slope. “I’ve always thought this is the kind of area that could have something,” he said as he drew. “It’s not going to bring the same kind of congestion as piling it all on the mountain road, and the flatlands will help contain the runoff.” He paused. “At least I think. I’m not a builder.”

  “That’s okay, we hire those. You come up with the vision, then consult with them about how to implement it. Same thing for the condo developers.”

  “You’re serious about this,” Austin said in wonder.

  “Four-point-seven billion dollars, Austin. I may think nothing of a two-hundred-dollar pair of gloves, but once we’re talking that many zeroes, yeah. I’d say I’m serious.”

  “But here.” He pointed to the place on the map where his house was.

  “That’s your land. Those are your woods.”

  “No,” he said. “That’s the woods I’m selling you.”

  “I already talked to Steven. He’s not doing anything with the documents. We won’t countersign.”

  “Don’t be absurd.”

  “Austin, why would you sign such a thing? You don’t want to sell. And I’m not going to ask you to.”

  “It doesn’t matter,” he said. “The money, the acres—take what you want. You should have what you need.”

  She frowned at him. “Don’t tell me you did this because you gave up. Because I’m trying to tell you this whole development is going to be different than anything we’d talked about.”

  “I know,” he said. “I hear you. But don’t you get it? I’m not giving up anything.”

  Now she was confused. “Steven told me you agreed to sell the land. Did I misunderstand?”

  “I did agree. I faxed him the paperwork this evening. I’ll use Jesse and Sue’s lawyer to finalize the deal. But I’m not giving up. I’m making a choice to do something important for you, Sam. Because you want this, you need it for your company, and I’m not going to stand in your way. You don’t have to come back with a different plan or some crazy offer to consult. I just want you to be happy. Even if I can’t have you.”

  This time she did rest her hand on his, feeling the strength of him before she pulled away.

  “Steven called me when I was already on my way back from the Hendersons, heading over here to see you again,” she said.

  Austin looked confused. “You mean you wanted to see me even when you still thought I wouldn’t sell?”

  “This isn’t a ploy, Austin. I told you, we can develop Gold Mountain in a way that grows the ski resort, helps the town, and keeps more land intact. I know I’m supposed to tell you that you don’t have to decide anything now, take some time to think on it, but I can’t. Say yes, Austin. Tell me you’ll do this with me.”

  She spoke with utter conviction, and yet she was still surprised when he looked her in the eyes and said, “Anything to make this development work is something I want to be involved in.”

  “Not just involved in but leading.”

  He looked down. “I’d have to get used to this whole you-in-a-suit thing.” He gestured to her outfit.

  She laughed. “This isn’t even a suit.”

  “Whatever. It’s not snow boots.”

  “You wouldn’t be in the office—I give you special dispensation to wear whatever you want.” She paused. “Especially if it’s that tight racing suit.”

  Oops. She hadn’t meant to blurt out that last part.

  She thought he’d laugh, but instead his eyes narrowed. “Will everyone in the office be mad if you bring me in without consulting them? Do they even know you’ve changed all of this?” He fingered the transparency laid over the original blueprint.

  “No, they don’t know. No, they won�
��t be happy. And no, I don’t particularly care.” Sam grinned.

  “Yikes,” he muttered.

  “We can talk all we want about team building, but the truth is that this is a top-down company. And I’m at the top. I didn’t necessarily want it, and when my father signed everything over to me before he died, I insisted I wasn’t ready. I don’t care what Samantha Kane said in interviews—the real me didn’t want to be in charge. It felt like somebody else’s role.” She looked past Austin’s shoulder, out the window where a light snow had started to fall, white flakes catching the porch light he had turned on. “I guess it felt like that was my father’s job, taking care of everything.”

  She looked at him again. “But what I realized while I was here is that this is mine now, and I can shape it however I want. We don’t have to do things the same way they’ve been done for generations. My father wanted this land, but he’s not around anymore to dictate what we have to do with it. If people who work for Kane aren’t happy with the changes, there are a lot of companies that will take them with this name on their résumé. But I’m trusting that there are going to be more people who want to see what we can do up here and will want to be part of the company that transforms this region for the right reasons, and in the right ways. I know, it sounds so idealistic.” She waved a hand as though brushing away an objection, even though Austin hadn’t said a thing.

  But a weight was lifting that she hadn’t even known she’d been carrying—the weight of being half herself, one part of her more fully Sam than she ever was in Seattle, but another part, a part that was just as important and true, locked behind the screen she’d put up for him.

  Now she had a chance to tell him everything, to be fully present sitting in his kitchen with her whole life in his hands, and rather than be terrified like she’d been when she walked in, she felt almost glad. She only wished it hadn’t taken her so long to get to this place with him, and that rather than yell and push each other away, they could have come to this honesty before everything went and crumbled in their hands.