Carpathian Vampire, When You've Never Known Love

by Lumi Laura

CHAPTER 21 Confrontation with Father Zosimos

  A couple of weeks later, Alex screwed up her courage, gathered Jaklin and Mikhail, and said, "I'm off to see Father Zosimos and would appreciate you coming."

  Her dreams lately had turned increasingly ominous. They were not just dreams. They were a separate reality, as if she'd stepped into an alternate existence, one that paralleled our own. In them she felt frightened and confused. Her cross seemed her only guard against the dreams driving her crazy. She hoped that getting a little support from a priest might make them go away entirely.

  "I won't let him bully you," said Mikhail, concern wrinkling his forehead. "These priests... I tell you. I have a little experience with them."

  The monastery was a five-minute walk toward the center of town. Mikhail sauntered quietly alongside Alex. Finally he said, "This is going to be a disaster. Priests are assholes. He'll mess up your life."

  "He's always been kind and understanding," said Alex.

  "He'll castigate all of us. Have us before some sort of inquisition."

  They entered monastery grounds from a tourist parking lot and walked through a roofed entry with two redwood gates that were already swung open, then through a gravel courtyard and up the steps into the new chapel. They found a monk in the far corner inspecting a painting of Carol I. Alex asked if he knew where they might find Father Zosimos.

  "And who may I say wishes to see him?"

  "Alexandra Eidyn," she said.

  "Oh, yes. We've been told to watch for you. Follow me, please." Alex thought he bore a close resemblance to Father Zosimos. Perhaps it was the attire.

  They left the chapel through the backdoor, crossed Monastery grounds to a row of rooms along the side of the square, past the old chapel. Mikhail pointed it out. He'd researched Sinaia on the Internet. It had been built in 1695 and was the founding structure for both the Monastery and the town of Sinaia, which grew up around it. Alex wondered why he knew more about her hometown than she did.

  They stopped outside one of the rooms, and the young monk asked them to wait there. He'd see if Father Zosimos was available.

  Alex felt displaced there at the Monastery. This was supposed to be holy ground, and yet, her own gazebo seemed more sacred. She looked at Jaklin and Mikhail. "I feel foolish," she said. "Wish I hadn't come."

  But the monk returned just then, and Father Zosimos was with him. "Thank you, Daniel," he said and dismissed him. "My dear young lady," he said. "What a pleasant surprise, and I see you've brought friends?"

  "Yes, Father. They are the dearest in all the world. I have something important to discuss with you, and I want them present."

  "Then let us find suitable quarters," he said. He led them away from the outside row of rooms and to another chapel. He entered and led them down the isle, footsteps echoing. He seated them in the first row and brought up a chair so that he might face them.

  Alex noticed that Christ's cross, large and intimidating, stood in the background behind him. The cathedral was deathly still, quiet. Their every word reverberated.

  He motioned for her to speak.

  "I've a confession," she started, and looked down at her folded hands. She pulled her cross from within her blouse, so that she might gain courage. "First I must tell you the humiliating news that I am pregnant."

  "And who is the father?" he asked, glancing quickly at Mikhail.

  "I've had a paternity check, and although it could be Mikhail, it isn't. The other sad news is that several weeks ago, I was raped. It was just before you came to test me for vampirism with the crosses."

  "My child, did your grandmother know?"

  "No one but me knows what I'm about to tell you. Perhaps you should just let me say it, and then you can do with me as you wish."

  "Please proceed."

  "We've all heard of the serial rapist that was murdered in the park. Well, it was he who raped me. Since the child does not belong to Mikhail, I can only assume that it must be the rapist's child I carry."

  "Oh, Christ in Heaven!" the priest exclaimed. "So unfortunate." He was visibly shaken.

  "It was I... who killed him," she confessed.

  "But that was a bear. No one of your stature could have mangled him so."

  "Trust me on this, Father. The pain and humiliation he put me through triggered such rage that I became something other than Alexandra Eidyn. "

  "Oh, child. This is so difficult to believe."

  "But you see Father, I am a vampire, and I hunger after blood from time to time. I go out at night, when I can get away from Jaklin and Mikhail without their knowing, and I find someone to feed on. I've done it several times, and I'm afraid that I'm causing much of the hysteria now raging in Sinaia."

  She'd heard both her friends gasp at her revelation.

  Mikhail interrupted. "This is such a shock. Why did you not confide in us?"

  "I simply couldn't. I kept hoping it would go away." She still couldn't look her friends in the eyes.

  "But we could have been a comfort to you and helped you weather this storm," said Jaklin.

  "Sorry, but this storm is not temporary," Alex said. She felt so disappointed in herself.

  Father Zosimos started to speak but then fell silent. Alex could see tears in his eyes. Finally he spoke. "Were you wearing the cross?" he said. "You promised."

  "I was. Even when he raped me. Why didn't it protect me?"

  "He wasn't a vampire."

  "Yes, but he was evil."

  "The cross can protect your soul but not your physicality."

  "I had such great hopes for it." Alex still felt betrayed.

  "Enough! Please!" shouted Father Zosimos. "Perhaps the cross is deficient, as I suspected from its questionable heritage. Such profane things spoken here before our Lord in his own temple. I know these evil beings exist because I've seen them with my own eyes. But never would one enter such holy ground as this. Yet, you have."

  "That is the way I differ from normal vampires. I don't fear the cross." She knew this revelation sounded like callousness instead of piety.

  He shielded his face in his hands for a moment and then turned to Jaklin. "Have you seen any of this? Do either of you," and he looked a Mikhail, "know this to be true? Is she delusional?"

  "She is not delusional," said Jaklin, greatly offended. "Yet she only gives the sorry side of her condition. Just a few nights ago, we witnessed what is all but a miracle performed by Missy."

  "Missy? Who is this Missy?"

  "That's the name Alex gave to us as her own. We've known her as Missy from the first.

  "Go on. The miracle?"

  "We, the three of us, were taken to a home where Missy was requested to allow a vampire to bite her. This she did, and her blood cured this thing of vampirism."

  "And another also," added Mikhail. "She was a wonder. Even the two people, whose home it was, claim to have been turned back from vampirism by her. She has a gift. But these new revelations of rabid vampirism, and murder. I've heard none of this." He glanced at Alex but immediately averted his eyes, as if repulsed at the very sight of her.

  "And this relationship between the three of you, what is the nature of it?"

  The room fell silent, none of them wishing to tell their secret.

  Finally, Jaklin answered. "Mikhail and I love her," she said. "It's just quite simply true. We love her."

  "Is your friendship carnal?" the priest asked.

  "Yes, Father," said Alex. "I'm afraid it is."

  "Don't be afraid," said Jaklin. "Be proud. Our love is nothing to denigrate."

  Father Zosimos rose from his chair and paced a bit in front of the altar. He looked at them, opened his mouth, but no words came out.

  Alex spoke. "Yet another plus to this terrible affliction is that those off of whom I feed are inoculated from ever having the vampire's disease, even if bitten. The other man I bit the night I committed the murder, he was bitten again by a feral vampire but has not become one. I am not normal, not even as a vampire. It h
as to do with Velinar, the woman who bit me, that divine being."

  "Okay. That is enough. I get the picture," said Father Zosimos, finally finding his voice. "I have a tendency to be lenient with the human failings of Christ's followers, but this goes beyond anything I have encountered. Yet, this seems an absolute certainty. Your nature and the lifestyle you've chosen say to me that you must give up the cross. That which I gave to you should not bring comfort to one who practices such acts."

  "Oh, Father, I do so love this cross. Please don't take it from me."

  "Then promise that you will give up these two friends of yours, and that you will no longer feed off the blood of other human beings."

  "I cannot give them up. They are a compulsion. And the drinking of blood is not a choice. It's a directive from my physical wellbeing. I have no more control over it than I do breathing."

  "These persons you suck on, do they voluntarily give up their blood?"

  Alex looked away. "No Father. I take it by force."

  "As I thought. And this carnal relationship with your two friends?"

  "I love them both so completely that I would give them up no more than I would Christ."

  "Is it not lust that drives your need? Is it not the carnal part of the relationship?"

  "But the true essence of my feeling for them is the love and compassion they show me. Their great kindness and affection. Their concern. That and their sympathy for all things that live on this Earth and the love of life here."

  "Are they practicing Christians? Are you a practicing Christian?"

  "No, Father. Not in the sense that we belong and participate in the Church. But the way they live their lives is the true path shown by Christ's life and teachings."

  "Yes, well the carnal nature of your relationship would seem to show a different side of that story, wouldn't it? One of your lovers is a woman."

  "Perhaps, Father."

  "The cross, child. I'll have it back."

  "But Father. It's the only protection I have from being consumed by hideous dreams. Giving it up will break my heart and leave me vulnerable."

  He reached out his hand.

  Sadly, slowly, Alex lifted the golden chain from around her neck and over her head. "You'll have to take it from me," she said, "for I cannot give it up of my own freewill."

  With that, he grabbed it, but she would not turn loose.

  "I wish I'd left it at home," she said.

  They struggled.

  "Please, Father."

  "Relax your fingers."

  She did and felt her cross leave her possession. She cried. Again, she experienced an encroaching darkness of the soul, dark shapes flitting about her.

  "Here's my question," she said, tears streaming down her cheeks. "I feel that I should have the child. I don't want to end its little life. It is half me, after all. Yet, how can I have the child of a serial rapist? I lament that Bunică is not here to advise me on this."

  Zosimos expression softened. "That would have been a wonderful thing. She was a great believer in the lost and forsaken people of the world." But Zosimos shook his head, and his expression changed, sympathy evaporating from among his deepening wrinkles. "You intend to carry it fullterm?"

  "I've weighed both sides of the argument many times," Alex said. "I'm looking to you for guidance."

  Alex saw darkness in his eyes and regretted coming to him. He seemed aloof. "To hear that you, an unholy vampire, wish to carry a child of rape and murder full term is a concern. It is not God's child, and to end it would not in itself be murder. It is a child of Satan. I must say that if you do carry this child to full term, you cannot raise it. It should be given to a proper family, unless it's a vampire."

  Now that she had his opinion, her own surfaced. The thought of giving up the child was a grief she could not bear. "Oh, no, Father. I already have a great affection for the child. I love her. She is my daughter. Surely that will be my continual act of contrition, to see to her wellbeing always."

  "But it is not your comfort and desire that should be considered in this but only the welfare of the child, the best situation for the child, if it is indeed a child. Surely you can see that being raised by a vampire, and particularly one involved in a ménage à trois, is not in her best interest? And if it were a vampire?"

  "This child, regardless of the father, will be the only child I'll ever have. I've always wanted children, and regardless of the father, this is my only chance."

  Alex broke. Something inside her seemed to crack open and all the grief flowed out. She sobbed. Like gusts of a hurricane, the misery of the soul pounded her. Her very bones ached.

  "I came to you for help. I've not suffered any of this by choice." She creaked to her feet and looked directly at him. "Your council has failed me."

  With that, she walked away from the priest, and they left the cathedral. Outside, the sun was too bright for Alex. Jaklin held her all the way home and shielded her from the sun with her jacket, but Mikhail was distant, quiet, and kept a pace behind them.

  "I  can't believe it can be this bad," he said. "You're a vampire. We're in love with you. I'm so messed up with you two that I don't know if I can live without you, either of you."

  I'm losing him, Alex thought. He is such a fine young man, and I've lost him.