Carpathian Vampire, When You've Never Known Love

by Lumi Laura

  *

  Come evening, Alex felt restless, and quite abruptly got up and went out the backdoor. She walked directly to the gazebo, but instead of Catalin, she found Alu Kard there, standing before it among the trees, his dark shape flitting about like a shadow in the breeze. Alex imagined that he could not actually enter the gazebo because it was in fact sacred ground. Why was he there so much? she wondered. But what really disturbed her was that she no longer felt afraid of Alu. In fact, he seemed a friend. She'd have to hide this change in attitude from him.

  Alu was dressed in black, with a cloak that concealed his thin, insect shape. His manner was slow, like a preying mantis. The black cloak seemed to Alex more for stealth than effect. When the wind opened it, she saw a thin red band along the inside at the waist.

  Alu started on her without salutation, as if it were a continuation of their discussion in his Throne Room. Alex wondered if thoughts of her had ever left his mind since they parted.

  "Our mission is to make the people of Earth immortal," he said. "We have no entry fee into worldly immortality, no confession or repentance, unlike this other so-called spiritual world you so desire. Give up this fear of moral turpitude and join us."

  Alex wondered why he was there, and then thought that maybe she held the key to him accomplishing some grand plan. Perhaps she was the one who could make or break his dream. "You shouldn't be here," she said. "I have no desire to talk to you."

  "You've abandoned your cross?" he asked with obvious pleasure.

  "They've taken it from me," Alex answered, feeling humiliated.

  Alu roared with laughter. "The most powerful weapon in the history of the world and in the hands of the only one who can actually wield it, and they take it from you. So typical."

  Alex got the irony and almost laughed herself. "I have committed a crime," she countered.

  "They've convinced you of that, have they? These imbeciles are not worthy of you. Join forces with us, and little could stand in our way of bringing immortality to the masses. We could create a new race of vampires that can live in sunlight. Remember how you felt in the cavern? Lust! Power! It is your destiny, Miss Eidyn. Join me."

  Alex was surprised at how tempting it was to just walk away with him. Everyone either condemned or questioned her actions, but here was the one being who cared not at all about her moral transgressions, and he commanded international legions. Yet, she couldn't bring herself to do it.

  "I want a better life, one that can't be attained here on Earth."

  He laughed again. "All the divine forces of the Universe, since Adam and Eve, have forever abandoned mortals in time of need, but still they grovel before them. The human race must evolve past this silliness," he said. "Humanity has pursued eternal life for millennia, and it's finally within reach."

  She noticed that he seemed to be including her among the humans. "But immortality isn't intended for here on Earth."

  Alu was indignant. "How do you know? Just because that's the way it has been? What do you know of eternal existence in the spiritual realm? If it's so great, why do they keep it secret?"

  Alex had to think about that one. She remembered Michelangelo's painting of God and Adam on the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel, their fingertips not quite touching. "It's just a matter of not being able to bridge the void between this world and the next, not until death."

  "Is it really? You've been there? Perhaps nothing exists beyond death for humans. Besides I received my immortality from a divine being, Prometheus, who wished humans to be immortal here on Earth."

  "I have seen the City of God. I saw it in a dream the night I killed a man. Life is tough here. People suffer. Why should I want to stay forever? Life in God's City was beyond imagining."

  Alu scoffed. "You had a dream. And you base your real, actual life on it?"

  "More than a dream. Besides, life here isn't easy for vampires."

  "We don't suffer. No disease."

  "Of course, we suffer. That's why we need blood."

  "A triviality. A little human blood now and then." He smirked. "Perhaps we'll solve that deficiency someday. And you believe souls don't suffer in the Afterlife?"

  "Perhaps in Purgatory. But it's a place of infinite justice. Once out of Purgatory, if you have to suffer it at all, you live in the one true utopia."

  "What about the Inferno? Have you not read Dante? Or, perhaps it's a gray world without definition, full of amorphous beings and muted desires and feelings, as the ancient Greeks envisioned. All you know of Paradise is what you've been told. But you do know what life is like on planet Earth. You've experienced it. Here the world is in Technicolor with ambitions and lusts. Why not stay for eternity instead of getting just enough to whet your appetite?"

  "You exclude love. What can you offer that provides meaning? Where does immortality in the real world lead?"

  She saw a light flicker over the Gazebo behind Alu. He jumped as if hit in the back, and turned to look.

  "Love is a torture they inflict on you. Don't let them deceive you," he said in hasty retreat. "Make them give up their secrets. They have no divine plan. Never have."

  As Alex walked toward the ruins, he shouted after her. "Eventually, you'll see I'm right. You'll come to me." He disappeared among the trees, taking a wide birth around the gazebo.

  Just as Alex stepped into the gazebo, Catalin appeared. "I've witnessed you speaking with Alucius of Kardacia, the original vampire. He's an evil being."

  "Yet, he claims his status was a gift from the divine."

  "So it was. Not all divine beings are moral creatures. Alucius is the source of Velinar's illness. Velinar thought she had learned his secret, and that she could deal a mortal blow to the entire vampire movement by instilling a little divinity in him. She let him suck a little of her blood. Instead of subduing him, Velinar was subdued herself, and their encounter invigorated Alu. As a result of her failure, the movement has become more powerful and threatens us all. He has amassed considerable power and influence during the three millennia he's been a vampire."

  "I feel myself falling under his influence," she admitted. "How has Alu changed?"

  "It's a matter of methods, I believe. Our knowledge of your world, his world, is not always transparent to us."

  "My sole protection from him was the wooden cross. Father Zosimos took it from me."

  "Oh dear Lord. How could this be?" Catalin said. "That cross was meant for you, and you alone. It's no ordinary cross. No telling the trouble that will come from this."

  "I feel as though I'm stripped of my soul. It was the one thing that held me together."

  "And perhaps you have been. That cross is the reason I've returned. It has an unparalleled lineage. Not only is it from Christ's cross, it is also from the Tree of Life."

  "What Tree of Life? Should I know of this?"

  "You do. The Tree of Life is in the Garden of Eden. After being evicted from the Garden, Adam had his third son, Seth, ask the Arc Angel Michael to bring him a branch from the Tree of Life, which he did. But by the time Seth returned, his father was dead. Seth planted it on his father's grave, and it grew into a magnificent timber. Solomon cut it down to build his temple, but found that it wouldn't maintain its shape, and he discarded it. Many generations later, the Romans used it for Christ's cross."

  "Then what Father Zosimos told of its history is true. But why would it adopt a vampire?"

  "Your cross is not an 'it.' A divine being radiates influence through the cross. And you are no ordinary vampire. I keep telling you this, but apparently it doesn't register."

  "How could it? How can anyone come to terms with being a bloodsucker? How could I be the bearer of such of a cross? I'm bisexual and involved in a profane relationship."

  "Your thirst for blood is not lust. It is a worldly necessity, life sustaining. And this love... Love is what God puts in your heart to work good in the world. If they share this love, then it is one of God's great earthly mysteries and must be honored. Unless, of cou
rse, you were to tell me that it's based on power and debasement."

  "Never would I wish my will upon them, but only seek their fulfillment and happiness. My greatest pleasure is just being in the same room with them. To have them touch me with kindness is the source of my contentment."

  "This then is true love, and the highest form of God's gifts. Not everything carnal is heavenly, and much of it is profane, but to touch with tenderness is divine."

  "That's not what Father Zosimos said. He took the cross from me because of it."

  "Oh, Marie!" said Catalin, throwing up his arms. "Such strange notions. We care less about carnal acts than the nature of love and compassion. We have our equivalent in the Divine World. Yours is but a metaphor of ours."

  "I've already lost Mikhail," Alex said. "He's drifted from me."

  "Love has its great moments, but also ebbs and flows. Yes, he may grow distant from you for a time, but if it is the love you've described, he'll return."

  Alex thought this sounded like wishful thinking. "But I have killed a man."

  "The Wrath of God can be a terrible thing. At times, he expresses it through a mortal. It is a great crime to take the cross from you over this, that which God himself has designated as yours."

  "My story has more tragedy that Father Zosimos has levied against me, and it breaks my heart to even say this again." Alex looked down. She couldn't bear to see his reaction and turned her back toward him. "I'm pregnant."

  "Heavens!" Catalin shouted. "Glory! An earthly immortal conceived?"

  "I carry the child of the man I murdered." She turned back, expecting an expression of horror, but instead, his face expressed wonder, amazement.

  "The rapist is the father? You know this for a fact?"

  "It's not my friend's, so it has to be the rapist's."

  "The gender, is it a girl?" If she didn't know better, she'd believe she saw fear in his eyes.

  "It is. Does it matter?"

  His voice was a whisper. "Oh, Marie!"

  "Father Zosimos suggests I abort it since it's a child of Satan. Otherwise, it must be put up for adoption."

  "This is no child of the Great Evil. Do neither. I'm not allowed to reveal all that I know of this. Perhaps another will come concerning your fate and that of the child. You're beyond my Heavenly Order in so many ways. Just realize that you haven't gone unnoticed, and that your plight is of great concern to all of us."

  "All of us?"

  "I can't say more."

  "Alu said you'd keep secrets. He said to press you. He's a great believer in life here on Earth. Eternal life."

  "Alucius knows nothing of life in the Divine World. You cannot depend on his guidance."

  "Then tell me, am I destined to live forever here on Earth and never get into Heaven?"

  "Nothing on Earth, even Earth itself, is eternal, although it may seem so to Earthlings. Divine life is truly eternal."

  "What happens to vampires? What is their ultimate fate?"

  "When a human becomes a vampire, the soul loses its tether to Heaven and resides solely on Earth. When a vampire dies, the soul evaporates. Nothing goes to Heaven. Just fades into nonexistence."

  "But I've turned some vampires back human."

  "Once again, their soul becomes tethered to the Divine World. Such a gift you have, dear girl! Imagine how we admire and thank you for that."

  "Yet your Church castigates me."

  "Truly regrettable."

  "Plus, I no longer have a presence in the Divine World. I'm an outcast."

  "Don't try to apply this to yourself. You know that you're not like other vampires."

  "Sure as hell not like other humans."

  Catalin smiled. "Certainly not. The reason you're now more susceptible to evil is that you've inherited knowledge and immortality. It's the effect of the Tree of Knowledge and the Tree of Life."

  "I am still human, then?"

  "I cannot answer."

  "Can't or won't?"

  When he didn't respond, Alex turned from him and left the gazebo.