In Smoke And Ruins

by Gina Shafer

  “Uh… three years, I think. I ain’t sure. The days kinda blended together after a while. Then the others started showing up. Except June. She was there before me.” The moment that name leaves Beckett’s mouth, I glance at Lincoln. His entire face stills and goes white, but it’s quick. Blink, and you would have missed it.

  “Did you just say June?” he asks so gravely, everyone in the room freezes.

  “Yeah, I told ‘em yesterday. There was BB, Tristan, and June. All of us trapped, moved to a thousand different locations, and ain’t never fed right.”.

  “What did she look like?” Lincoln asks impatiently.

  “Who, June?”

  “Yes!” Lincoln shouts, exasperated.

  “Hell, I didn’t pay much attention. She was redheaded, round brown eyes, soft skin. Didn’t belong there, that’s for damn sure,” Beckett replies.

  “What’s it to you, Lincoln?” Elijah asks. Lincoln’s eyes find mine, and I lower my head, ashamed that I didn’t mention this to him yesterday. I meant to, I really did. But I didn’t know what to say, and I couldn’t think about Beckett any longer than I had to.

  “Ask Karina. She’ll tell you,” Lincoln spits out, turning his back to me.

  “Karina?” Elijah asks.

  “June is his daughter’s name,” I squeak out, the guilt coating my voice like honey on dirt.

  “Shit, Lincoln. That’s her? The girl you’ve been looking for?” Soren rushes up to Lincoln, placing his hands on his shoulders like this is the best news he’s ever gotten.

  “Wait just a fucking minute. You both knew about this?” Elijah says through his teeth. His hands find his hips, and I get the sudden feeling I’m being reprimanded by my father. I flick my eyes to Beckett’s, and I want to shrink into the rug when his eyes meet mine.

  “I’m sorry. I didn’t know what to make of it when I found out,” I say. “I should have said something.” I make sure that Lincoln knows this apology is for him too. He nods once, still angry, but I know I’m forgiven.

  “Is this what we do now, keep secrets?” Elijah asks, his voice breaking on the last word.

  “I’m sorry, Dad. Lincoln didn’t want anyone to know. He didn’t even want to tell me, but I wheedled it out of him. He thought if any of us were taken, they could use that information against him.” Soren says. Elijah takes a deep breath and then releases it.

  “How do we find them?” Elijah moves his eyes to Beckett, who looks completely bored with the string of apologies being thrown across the room.

  “Beats me. I’m assumin’ you just look for Vara. She wasn’t ever gone for long when she left us,” he says.

  “Why did she let you go?” Marcel asks, pointing at Beckett.

  “Shit, y’all just think I know everything, don’t ya? She didn’t tell me shit. Only that she had a surprise for me. If I was good, she would let me live, let me keep my fire. She said I was part of a bigger plan.” Beckett throws back the last bit of alcohol and then drops the empty bottle on the rug at his feet. He steps over it, swaying a little, and leaves the room.

  The others are quiet for a while, but after a beat they take his cue, pick up and get to work for the day.

  Elijah announces to the group. “All right, guys. Listen. Reach out to everyone you know. Our first priority is keeping the unburnt just that… unburnt. Get your feelers out there. We’re looking for Vara and anyone who might have information about her.”

  Lincoln moves past me, and I grab his arm. He stops, anger still present in his eyes.

  “I’m sorry, Lincoln, really,” I tell him. If you would have told me six months ago I would be apologizing to a demon, I would have told you where you could stick one of my swords. But now… all I feel is sorrow for a man whose daughter was taken from him and held at the mercy of Elijah’s crazy ex-wife.

  “I don’t need your pity, so wipe that look off your face. I just need you to help me find her. Got it?”

  “I will,” I promise, releasing his arm. I pull my computer back into my lap, fading into the world at my fingertips. I plan to dig through every tunnel I can find for any shred of information that could help us.

  “Maybe it’s time for you to take a break?” Elijah says, warm and soft, near my ear.

  As much as I want to lean into it, I don’t. “I can’t. I feel like I’m close to something,” I tell him, not lifting my eyes from the computer in my lap. I’ve finally broken into a top demon’s computer, and I can see every move he’s made for the last month. I know for damn sure he’s contacted Vara at some point.

  “Can I help?” he asks. Then I realize that there’s a small hint of anger laced on his tongue. The emotion he’s unable to fully hide seeps out like water through his fingers. This makes me look up. When I meet his eyes, I know that he’s still upset that I didn’t come to him with what I learned about Lincoln.

  “I’m sorry,” I tell him.

  “I’m not mad,” he says defensively. I glance around the room, realizing how late it’s gotten and that everyone has obviously gone to bed except me. “Oh?”

  “I’m not. Really. I’m just… I don’t know what I am, okay? On one side I completely understand, but on the other…. You had so many moments to tell me. Why didn’t you?” The anger that earlier coated his tongue has been replaced with sadness. He’s referring to Lincoln and his daughter.

  “I don’t know,” I tell him, because I don’t.

  “I’m not mad,” he says again. “I just want us to stay connected? We’re in this together. And we’re stronger together,” he says, and I agree. We should be working to stay together; share information so that whatever outsiders want to tear us apart will have hell trying.

  “Can I please help you with something?” he asks, and I realize now what he means.

  I get so stuck in what I’m working on at times, it’s easy for me to shut people out. I’ve probably been shutting him out all day without even realizing it. He knows I’m not going to bed, so he joins me in what I’m doing.

  “Sure,” I say, scooting over and giving him space to view the computer screen.

  “What are we looking at?” he asks.

  “Do you see that calendar?” I point to the white box on the screen, and he nods. “I’m searching through any appointments this demons has had over the last month. Now, do you see the email box?” Another nod. “This is giving me his emails, contacts, and any other communication he’s sent.”

  “Really?” Elijah asks.

  “Yes.” I smile.

  “Have you found anything?”

  “Not yet. I feel like this guy was shady. He’s deleted everything that isn’t generic, so somehow they’ve gotten wind that we’ve been hacking them. Or maybe they make a point of not holding anything incriminating in case they’re hacked.”

  “Frustrating,” Elijah says.

  “You’re not kidding.” I laugh, though it’s not funny.

  “Can you retrieve deleted information?” “That’s what I’ve been trying to do all day.” I huff out a breath and close my eyes, leaning my head against the couch cushion. It’s only now that I have my eyes off the screen that I feel his closeness and his fingers caressing my thigh.

  “I’ve been distracted for a few days,” I whisper, my eyes still closed.

  “It’s understandable. You’ve gone through a lot, learned things you didn’t know.” His voice is closer now, his breath falling gently on my cheeks like a soft fog. I feel his movement, and he’s slow bringing his hand up to carefully brush my hair off my forehead. When I open my eyes, his face clouds my vision.

  “You are so beautiful,” he breathes, and his studious gaze makes me shy even through his compliment. He moves the computer off my lap and puts it on the coffee table.

  “I’m serious. You. Are. Beautiful. And I’m not only talking about your face or body.” He uses his hands as punctuation, slowly grazing my face and then trailing down, down, until he lands on the area behind my knee. He wraps his fingers around my leg and tugs me so that
I’m straddling his lap.

  “The way you get lost in your work, the way you wield your swords, your compassion, your ability to put others first, your fierceness and your tenderness—those are the things that make you beautiful.”

  “I can feel my head growing already.” I laugh, though I’m not quite sure why I’m so uncomfortable with his praise.

  “As it should.” He smiles.

  “Elijah—“

  “No. You’re not going to argue with me over what makes you beautiful. Everything you do makes you infinitely more beautiful to me. Do you understand? I’m the one who loves you, who sees you for not just what you are, but for who you are. I know you. And you’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen, ever known, ever made love to. It’s you. It will always be you. And you don’t get to argue.”

  Instead of waiting for me to answer, Elijah crashes his lips to mine. As we move together, our lips telling the story of our love much better than words ever could, and I realize what he’s trying to tell me. I break away from him, catching my breath.

  “Always?” I ask.

  “Is there longer than forever?” He tilts his head.

  “Does that—?” I start, but the words die before ever reaching my tongue when Elijah pulls something from his pocket. Something small, folded in velvet fabric. “Hold out your palm.”

  “But—”

  “Karina, please hold out your palm.” He laughs like my reaction is funny.

  I move my hand, seemingly in slow motion, quivering like he’s about to place a bomb in it, and he sets down the velvet. It’s heavy, weighted with something.

  Elijah unfolds the cloth, revealing the most beautiful piece of jewelry I’ve ever seen.

  “I don’t understand,” I say, unmoving. It’s a lie though. I do understand. I understand completely. This is Elijah’s way of promising forever.

  “I said always, didn’t I?”

  “How long have you had this?” I ask.

  “Does it matter? Didn’t you know from day one?”

  “I—” I’m about to deny loving him at first sight, but I realize he’s right. The feelings were there from the first time we kissed. Hell, even from the first time I saw him in the shower. When he turned, and I saw the sadness and confusion in his eyes, I knew I loved him. Lincoln had just told me Vara was a demon and had been working against the Sicarri the entire time she was with Elijah. I wanted to protect him from that, but I also, selfishly, wanted him to know.

  “I get it,” I tell him, closing my eyes and my fist, tightening over the ring in my palm.

  “You do?” he asks, gripping my thighs. He’s anxious to see if I will accept it, accept his love, and his promise for always.

  “This thing between us, it’s much more than we can explain,” I say, and he nods. “It’s just… more. I understand that it’s always. Even if it’s not forever.” In this line of work, you never know when it could all come crashing down.

  “Put it on?” he asks, grasping my closed fist and gently uncurling my fingers.

  “I can’t,” I tell him, scooting away and thrusting the jewelry at him.

  “Why?” His face falls.

  I want nothing more than to wipe that look away with a kiss, but I can’t. “I—I’m afraid,” I whisper, unable to meet his eyes.

  “Of what?”

  “What is there not to be afraid of?” Tears fill my eyes.

  “Karina, please look at me,” he begs. I barely see him through the tears that blur my vision. “I’m all in with you. Please tell me you understand this?” he asks, wiping away the tears the spill over onto my cheeks.

  “But…you were all in with her too,” I say. As soon as the words leave my lips, I regret them. I wish I could take them back, like they were connected to my tongue by a thread, and I could ravel it back up and tuck those words away.

  “I have no idea what to say to that, baby,” he admits, sighing. “I won’t deny that when I was with Vara, I never expected that to change. But it wasn’t because of her. It was because of who I am and what I wanted. I wouldn’t even consider breaking my family apart, because of how important it was to me. Things are different now, I don’t have to tell you that. But I want you to know that nothing, and I mean nothing, will ever change the way I feel about you. We have a connection that’s deeper than anything I’ve ever felt before.”

  I let him tug me on top of him. I’m still raw, but I’m softening as I hold my hand out again, letting him undo my clenched fist once more.

  “I have nothing for you,” I whisper as the metal glides over my skin. It’s warm from the heat of Elijah’s hand. As I bring it closer, I realize that there are tiny purple gems glistening from the delicate flowers carved into the band.

  “I only need you.” He tilts my chin toward him with his fingers.

  The look on his face, I mean… there’s only so much a girl can take before she’s putty in a man’s hands. So I kiss him. I kiss him with everything I have, until we’re both out of breath, panting like we’ve both run for miles.

  “Take it off,” I whisper against Elijah’s ear, tugging on his jeans.

  Here?” he asks, his voice low. Everyone’s asleep. There’s little chance of anyone walking in on us, but there is that chance.

  I put a finger to my lips, indicating I’ll be quiet, that it’ll be our little secret. He doesn’t waste any time grabbing me by the waist and setting me on the couch next to him. In an easy move, he removes all of his clothes and stands before me, beautiful, male, and so turned on.

  “You next,” he says, holding out his hand, but I don’t take it. I wrap my hands around him instead, guiding his dick into my mouth, wrapping my lips around him before he realizes what I’m doing.

  “Oh, Karina.” He groans, his knees shaking with pleasure. I smile around him, loving the sound of him falling apart and relishing the fact that I’m the one who gets to see him like this. At that thought, I glance up, watching his eyes on me, seeing the desire there. I work him with my mouth and my hands until I feel him growing even harder.

  “Fuck,” he moans, throwing his head back. “Karina, I’m gonna come if you don’t stop.” He breathes, clenching his jaw. I let go, leaning back and grabbing the hem of my shirt before pulling it over my head. My pants are next, and before long, I’m naked in front of the man I love.

  “Lie down,” he says, and though he hasn’t touched me, I feel him all over me. Every spot he touched while we were kissing is on fire, begging for his hands, his mouth, anything. Eager to feel him, I lie down on the couch, melting into the soft cushions.

  “Not that way.” He smiles, and desire pools so deep in my belly, I nearly come at the sound of his voice. I flip over on my stomach, and I feel his weight on the couch as he leans on his knees behind me.

  His hands are the first things to touch me, and I almost jump at the sensation. He caresses my hips, pulling them up so I’m raised on my knees. Then he moves up my back, leaning against me. He wraps his fingers around my chin from behind, tugging so his lips can meet mine but just barely.

  “I love you,” he says. “But I don’t want to be gentle with you right now,” he admits, kissing my cheek.

  “Well, don’t then,” I tell him, glancing behind me.

  He lines himself up with me, and in one quick motion, he’s inside me. Loving me from the inside. I throw my head back when he thrusts, and he kisses my back as I arch, licking the beads of sweat from my skin. The gems in my ring glint in the light of the fire, and suddenly I’m overcome with emotion. Tears fill my eyes, threatening to spill over.

  “I love you,” Elijah whispers against my skin over and over again, until his voice is hoarse. He reaches between us, finding my sweet spot, and I fall against the couch, my muscles like jelly.

  “I love you too,” I say in a moan as I flex around him. He pulls out, quickly turning me over so I can see his face.

  “You’re beautiful when you come,” he says, and then he kisses me while slipping his cock back insid
e me. He continues thrusting, kissing me, licking me, never breaking contact with my skin. I wrap my arms around him, holding him close as he spills inside me.

  He lies against me for a bit as our breathing slow. He shifts after a while, tucking himself into my side. I reach up and cover us both with the blanket hanging on the back of the couch. It’s wrinkled and bunched up, but it’ll do.

  “I forgot we weren’t alone,” he says.

  “So did I.” I laugh.

  “I guess the only person I wouldn’t want hearing is Soren, and I sent him and Willow off for surveillance with Xo earlier,” he tells me, and then he wraps his arms around me, nuzzling deeper.

  “Surveillance for what?’’ I’ve missed most of the day, buried in my computer.

  “One of the villages for the unburnt. The Sicarri keep getting complaints that there are people disappearing from the outskirts. The demons obviously can’t enter because the area has been spelled, but we think they may be luring people out just far enough to grab them.”

  “Do they all have enough tiger’s eye? Should we find a way to send some?” I ask. Tiger’s eye will keep the demons from stealing their bodies, rendering them useless to demons while it’s on them. But, that won’t stop the demons from killing them, stealing their fire, their light… their magical power.

  “We’re already on it. Marcel is sending some people from the warehouse down there tomorrow with more of it.”

  “Good,” I say, but I know it’s just a temporary fix. “What about—”

  “Karina, do you mind if we talk about all this in the morning? I know it’s a pressing matter, but I’d rather not discuss demons after what we just did. I’d rather just lie here, pressed up against my beautiful, naked wife.” He gives me a quick kiss on the forehead, and not long after, I hear soft snores against my ear.

  I’m not sure if I’ve taken a single breath since. I mean, I probably have, or I would be passed out. But what I’m trying to say is I haven’t felt myself breathing. My entire body feels numb, except for the finger that Elijah’s ring is wrapped around. It’s like all the nerve endings that normally pepper my skin have all migrated to that one spot.