Married to the Marquess

by Rebecca Connolly

  “You waltz perfectly,” Derek breathed somewhere near her ear, his voice muffled by her hair. “If I didn’t know better, I would say that…” He paused suddenly, though his waltzing never faltered. She felt him shake his head, and bit back a smile when he said, “No, that would be impossible. You are clearly just that gifted.”

  She snickered softly and lifted her head. “I know how to waltz, Derek.”

  He pulled back and stared at her, his dance finally faltering, but somehow, he kept them moving in a semblance of the pattern. “You do?”

  “I have known how to for years now,” she admitted, unable to hold back her smile now. “I overheard some ladies talk about it ages ago, and they were so scandalized by it that I was fascinated. I went home that night and practiced alone in my room. I imagined myself to be quite graceful at it, but never had any opportunity to prove it until now.”

  Slowly, a disbelieving grin grew on her husband’s face until he was beaming. “Wait, I have a secretly improper wife? How delightful!”

  “Not improper!” she protested, pushing at his chest a little. “Just… a trifle daring. Secretly.”

  “Even better,” he said with a meaningful waggle of his brows.

  She laughed merrily and allowed him to sweep her into a grand waltz movement as he imitated a great swell of the music he had been dancing them to. She sighed and shook her head. “I’ve never told anybody that before. Just you. And… and I’m glad to have you know my secrets, Derek.”

  Slowly, he brought them to a stop, and looked down at her with the gentlest, warmest eyes she had yet to see him bear. “I want to know all of them,” he confessed, cupping her cheek with one hand.

  “So do I,” she whispered, wrapping her hand around his wrist and leaning into his touch.

  Accepting the unspoken invitation without hesitation, Derek bent his head and captured Kate’s lips with his own. Somehow, though he had kissed her often enough, this felt like the first time all over again to her. The same stuttering of her heart, the same trembling of her knees, the same war within herself to both move closer and move away.

  Only it was so very different from that first kiss that the two could hardly be related.

  There was passion and heat and need in this kiss. Gone was the hesitation, the uncertainty, and the nerves of before. Now there was confidence and delight, and though confusion still swirled around her as it had before, she was not tossed about by it.

  Never had anything ever felt so right, confusion or not.

  Again and again they kissed, and they were slow, deep, savoring kisses that made Kate feel as though her very bones were melting. In some small, still sentient corner of her mind, she remembered to be grateful Derek was a strong man, as he was all that held her upright. Tight in his embrace, wrapped about him, she had somehow ceased to exist and he and his fire were all that remained.

  She felt safe in his arms, in his hold, in his presence. Here was happiness and home and life. Here was where she belonged, where she was always meant to be. And where she yearned to remain. And if that did not scream love, she did not know what else would.

  She broke the kiss with a whimpering sigh, feeling that she ought to say something, anything. The moment was too much, too precious to leave things unspoken. “Derek, I think… I think I…” She looked up into his eyes, so full of warmth and understanding, of desire and pleasure, looking at her as if she were the only woman in the world.

  She couldn’t say it. The words were on the tip of her tongue, were swelling her heart until she felt certain it would burst, but she could not say it. She released a heavy sigh and leaned her head against his chin. “I’m so confused,” she whispered in a low, harsh voice as she tightened her hold around his waist.

  Derek wrapped his arms around her fully, and tucked her head beneath his chin. “I know,” he murmured, pressing his lips into her hair. “I know.” He released a slow breath himself, but said nothing further as he held her, comforted her, and waited for their pounding hearts to settle.

  Kate nearly cried at such tender attention. She loved him; she loved him, and she couldn’t even say it. He had to know what she was going to say, what she could not manage to get out. But he had said nothing, had not even looked disappointed or upset. And now he was holding her, knowing that she could not bring herself to say the words that were hanging unspoken between them.

  Perhaps somehow, the magic of the night would carry her thoughts to his heart, and he would feel them, would know just how much she meant them, though she could not vocalize it. Someday she would say them; she could not be a coward forever. However, he wasn’t saying the words either. Whatever he was feeling, there were no words to enlighten her.

  But here and now, in this moment, she thought she felt them. She thought she could hear him saying them to her as well. And if that were true, then she could wait. The words would come in time. So long as she could feel this way, she could wait however long it took.

  “Kate, something has been troubling me since last night.”

  Derek’s words brought Kate out of the daze of her thoughts as they ate breakfast together, and she looked at him in confusion. “What was troubling? I thought we had a marvelous time.”

  He actually blushed a little at the recollection. “We did. Apart from trying to get back through our hedge without bleeding, it was the best night I’ve had in a long time, and certainly the best dance I have ever had.”

  Now it was Kate’s turn to blush, which she quickly covered by shoving some more eggs into her mouth.

  “But besides that point, I tossed and turned all night over one little detail,” Derek continued, ignoring Kate’s sudden lack of table manners.

  “Which was?” she asked when she managed to swallow.

  His expression turned very serious. “You said that you go out to that gazebo in the middle of the night alone.”

  “Yes,” she replied promptly. “It’s my escape. When I’m there, I can imagine myself as being anywhere but here, anyone but who I am.” She smiled softly at him. “But I don’t believe I will need to do that anymore.”

  That deflated him momentarily as he tried to remember how to breathe properly, and he returned her smile. But then he remembered his purpose. “Regardless, you go alone. How often were you doing this, Kate?”

  “Oh, I don’t know. Once a week? A few times a month? I never sat down and calculated.”

  Derek felt his blood begin to boil and he clenched his teeth. “That is not going to continue.”

  Kate stilled and looked at him sharply. “I beg your pardon?”

  “It’s not safe for you to go gallivanting off in the middle of the night alone, especially in London,” he gritted out, trying to remain calm.

  “Derek, I have never been caught nor seen,” Kate assured him, a small but bewildered smile gracing her lips. “My reputation has not suffered in the least for this.”

  “Hang your reputation, Kate! I don’t care half so much about that as I do for your safety and your person!” He ran a hand through his hair, the panic that kept him awake most of the night coming back to haunt him. “What if you were attacked? What if somebody took you? What if…”

  “Oh, don’t be ridiculous, Derek,” Kate scoffed with a snort. “I always carry a knife on my person whenever I go out.”

  That brought Derek’s tirade up short. She carried… a knife… on her person. He ought to say something rather indignant, such as “That makes no difference,” or “So do bandits.” But all that managed to come galloping out of his senseless mouth was a blurted, “Where?”

  Kate gave him a rather devious look, but didn’t reply. All she did was take his chin in hand, press a quick, but heated kiss to his unmoving lips, and flit from the room like a bird, saying something about having things to do today, and she would see him later.

  He sat at the table for quite some time after she had gone, mulling over their conversation. She obviously saw nothing wrong with her actions, and that worried him just as much
as her actions. The very thought of something happening to her made his blood run cold. Yes, she carried that blasted knife, wherever she kept it; and yes, he was rather curious as to location, but that was a quest for another day; but it could hardly matter, no matter how sharp or wicked a blade it was. Assuming she could even wield such a weapon.

  With a shudder, he admitted that she probably could, and rather well. If the woman could waltz in secret, who knew what other less than proper things she had knowledge and expertise in.

  He couldn’t make her stay, he would not. She was like a lilac, in truth; she had fairly blossomed once the pruning and taming had ceased, and he didn’t dare subject her to the same any further. But something had to be done, or he would be sitting watch outside of her door the rest of their married life just to be sure that she didn’t go alone. If only it were not so far away.

  A sudden idea struck him with such force that he sat back in his chair. He thought it through carefully, wondering if the idea were even a realistic one. A fairly scheming grin flashed across his face as he determined that not only was it plausible, it was necessary. It was something she would never in a million years suspect. Today was the two week mark, but this would take far longer than that, which brought a satisfied smirk to his face. Now he absolutely had a concrete reason to tell Kate he was going to stay. And after that… he was quite certain he would have confessed another.

  Laughing triumphantly, he jumped to his feet and dashed out of the room, startling the footmen and Harville, and, ignoring them all, he took his jacket and hat and swept from the house, humming his song to her from the night before, and relishing the thought of his task at hand.

  Kate would never expect this.

  It was just the thing to convince her to love him in return.

  For he was no longer falling in love with her. He already did love her. He was very fully already in love with her, loved everything good and bad that was her, and had no doubt he would continue to love her for quite some time after all of this madness was over.

  And he would do so quite madly, at that.

  Chapter Sixteen

  Kate absently hummed to herself as she wandered around her home after visiting with Diana and Mary Hamilton, which had been a rather delightful way to spend her morning. They had given her some rather enlightening news concerning her.

  During the party at Nathan and Moira’s when she and Derek had left so prematurely, the story went around that Colin Gerrard had not only managed to put a great hole into the Marchioness of Whitlock’s finest mourning gown, but had also, in the process, accidentally caused her to fall into the fountain nearby. Apparently, Colin was quite mortified about the whole affair, and according to a few of the sympathizing young ladies who had flocked to him in consolation, he had promised to replace it from the money in his own pocket.

  She could hardly wait to remind him of his vow.

  Diana had also given her all of the details surrounding David’s mysterious absence from town, which had caused more than a few tender hearted misses to be desperately forlorn. Rumors had been flying that his angry father the duke had raged with such a fury that David had been thrown from the house and sent off to a monastery in Calais, never again to look upon a woman. Others said that he hopelessly compromised a servant girl and had fled England to escape her seven angry brothers. But the majority of Society merely thought that the dashing Lord David was lying in wait for a new batch of young ladies to fall one by one to his charms.

  Obviously, none of the stories were true. Kate didn’t even blink at overhearing them. She snickered a little, but other than that, it was just the sort of tosh and bother that one should never pay any mind to. But as David was family to her now, she thought she needed to know the truth. Derek had not been especially forthcoming, but then, the details of anything between himself, his father, and his brother had always been a difficult and private subject in his mind.

  Diana had no such restraint.

  It didn’t take long at all for her to lay out the whole story. The duke had received a letter from the family estate in Scotland. Apparently, someone had been stealing the sheep from the tenants, which was causing a great stir, as it was the main source of income up there. Owing to the fact that something needed to be done about it, and that David was showing no inclination towards marriage at present, and given the fact that Diana had announced her being with child, the duke had decided that, rather than creating a rather violent dissonance between his family right when something so joyous would be occurring, he would send David to investigate the problem.

  Kate was surprised by the decision, but saw the wisdom in it immediately. David would be away from his father’s overbearing rule and doing something productive in the process. But surely the duke had not come to this rather prudent and uncharacteristically lenient resolution all on his own.

  When she had suggested it, Diana had smirked and confessed that she may have had a little bit to do with it, and, had not the letter come on its own, she would have created a scenario to ensure a similar outcome. “David can hardly get into trouble up at the Scotland estate,” Diana had assured her. “It is too far from anything to even be remotely tempting.”

  Kate doubted that David would be without temptation at all, as it seemed to follow him everywhere, but she said nothing.

  After he finished in Scotland, Diana went on, David would make trips to each of the other estates to ensure that all was well and see to any needs that ought to be addressed. That would certainly keep him out of London for some time, which was really all he needed. And the duke had sworn not to do anything about a marriage before David returned, and especially not without his consent.

  So it seemed that all was settled in that quarter for the time being. David had been so keen to leave that he had done so almost immediately. Kate was profoundly grateful for that. Perhaps now Derek would be able to turn his attention to other matters.

  Like their marriage.

  She continued humming to herself as she walked along the gallery. Things were looking so promising for them, and she hoped that soon enough she would feel brave enough to confess to Derek just how much he meant to her. She would even ask him to stay with her, to not go back to the country unless she was going with him.

  A scant five paces later, she realized what it was she had been humming all morning. It was the song Derek had been singing to her last night. It was the song they had waltzed to in the moonlight.

  It was their song.

  She would never forget how she had felt in his arms, how she had wished that they could have danced forever in that mystical world they had shared for those few minutes. No more would that gazebo be her spot alone; now it would be theirs. It would always remind her of him.

  He had said she could never go alone again, and that suited her just as well, as she didn’t think she would ever want to go there alone again. But she couldn’t tell him that, it was too bold. She had merely laughed it off and kissed him, her first time initiating, however brief it had been.

  But it was not enough. She had to prove to him that she loved him by action, as she was unable to by words.

  The melody of his song floated through her mind again, and she smiled slowly. She could do something, something that would mean a great deal to him, something that only he would understand.

  She would write him a song. But not just any song. She would write his song.

  And when it, and she, was ready, she would play it for him.

  And he would know, at last, that she loved him.

  With a firm nod, she whirled and dashed towards the stairs. There was work to be done, and she had no idea how much time she had to do it in.

  Kate was lost in her thoughts later that night as she watched the flames dance about the logs in the grate. Something was wrong. Derek was being secretive, standoffish, and distant. Dinner had been so silent and uncomfortable between them, and with things feeling so right of late, it terrified her. Perhaps he did know that tomorrow marked
the end of their deal and that he could leave whenever he chose. Perhaps this had all been nothing but a trick, and she was to be left the fool for all to see.

  But how could he have designed the moments between them? How could the emotions and heat and sensations been falsehoods, nothing more than cold calculations to entertain him? He was better than that. He would not be cruel, but perhaps in his efforts to be friends, he had led her too far, and now was regretting doing so, and was pulling back to spare her.

  Yes, he would do that. But it would not spare her, it would only hurt all the more. Better a cruel design against her than an accidental misleading. One was his fault; the other was hers.

  She had spent the better part of the afternoon working on her song for him. It was taking longer than she had planned, as putting into music all that was Derek was quite nearly an impossible task. She was pleased with what she had so far, but she could hardly play him something that she had not completed.

  If he stayed, she would finish it. If she found him still here in the morning, then she would know that she had not been mistaken, and that her efforts and emotions had not been in vain.

  If tomorrow he were here still, she would know if he might love her.

  She swallowed hard as a few tears started to work their way towards the surface. Oh, how she hoped he would stay.

  She heard the floor creak behind her then and she hastily blinked back any hint of tears, then, once she was certain her appearance was in all respects normal, she turned. Derek was coming towards her, looking mostly back to his usual self. She felt her shoulders sag just a touch in relief.