Renegade Cowboy

by Sara Richardson

  A slow smile spread across his face.

  “I haven’t been up here in years.” She’d almost forgotten about it. But as soon as Levi drove around the corner, it came into view—the thermal spring-fed pond they’d all used to visit frequently in high school. The place where she’d had the most daring night of her life. Not that Levi knew about it. Her junior year, not long before Cash’s death, she and her friends had snuck up here to go skinny-dipping. Seeing as how they were all straight-A, rule-following goody-goodies, it had given them quite the thrill to think they were trespassing naked in the Cortez brothers’ backyard

  “We all had some good times here.” Levi parked the truck a ways off the shore.

  “I remember.” Completely enchanted by the reflection off the turquoise water, Cassidy pushed out of the truck and wandered down to the water’s edge. “This is where I tried my first beer.”

  “And if I recall, you spit it out.” Levi came to stand next to her.

  “You and Cash teased me about that all night.” She meant to sound offended, but she couldn’t hold off a smile. Around town, her memories of Cash were mixed—some happy and some painful. But here…there were only good memories. She walked along the shore a few feet. They used to come up here and build campfires, cooking hot dogs on sticks and then roasting marshmallows. The boys always brought beer, and eventually she’d developed a taste for it.

  A rummaging sound rattled behind her. Levi had climbed into the bed of his truck and was unpacking a couple of boxes and a cooler.

  She trotted over to see what he had. “What are we doing?”

  “Re-creating the magic.” He hopped down, his legs solid and firm.

  Cassidy peeked into one of the boxes. Firewood and newspaper. She reached over to open the cooler, but he swatted her hand away. “Why don’t you grab the chairs and blankets?” He nodded toward the two low camping chairs leaning against the truck.

  “Fine.” She grabbed the chairs and followed him down a small path to a rock fire ring surrounded by soft green grass.

  He set down his armload of stuff and crouched to position the logs and newspaper in the center of the rocks.

  She took the opportunity to sneak a look at his ass. Yep. She could understand Renegade Jeans Company’s interest in him.

  “Want to get the chairs set up?” he asked, glancing over his shoulder.

  “Oh. Sure. Yeah.” That damn blush wasn’t going to go away all night. Clumsily, she fumbled around with the chairs until she figured out how to unfold them and set them out near the fire pit. When she turned around, Levi was watching her, the fire already glowing behind him, amusement glinting in his eyes.

  “What?” she demanded.

  “Are you nervous, Cass?” he taunted.

  “Why would I be nervous?” She ducked away so he couldn’t see her face and parked herself in one of the chairs.

  Levi knelt next to the cooler and opened the lid. “Maybe because we’re finally alone.” His eyes rose to hers as he handed her a roasting stick. The same ones they’d used in high school, if she wasn’t mistaken. “Out here there’s no way for you to avoid me.”

  She harrumphed. “I haven’t been avoiding you. I’ve been busy.”

  “Well, I’m glad you’re not busy tonight.” He handed her a hot dog. Actually, it wasn’t a hot dog. It wasn’t the right color. She inspected it.

  “It’s organic chicken sausage,” he explained. “Everly gave it to me. Something about how deadly processed meat can be.”

  “Everly’s so great.” She skewered the meat onto her stick and held it over the flames. “I noticed she and Mateo seemed to be chatting a lot at lunch.” See? Even in the wilderness, she could find something to distract her from any meaningful conversation with him.

  Levi called her out with a look of exasperation. “Don’t you want to know what I wanted to talk to you about? Why I brought you out here?”

  “Sure.” She focused on holding her sausage exactly the right distance from the highest-reaching flame. She already had a pretty good idea that it had something to do with him and her and feelings. Lots of feelings…

  He looked at her over the crackling fire. “Do you ever feel like you’re standing still?”

  Oh yes. She’d become an expert on standing still. “That’s how I’ve felt for the last six years.”

  “And now you are moving on,” Levi said, watching her face carefully.

  “Yes.” Finally.

  “And you don’t want to take anything from your past with you.”

  Her heart softened as she gazed at his face. Would it be possible for her leave him behind after everything they’d shared? “I wouldn’t say that.”

  Levi handed her a plate and took one for himself. “Then what would you say?”

  The question pushed her to the edge. That’s obviously where he wanted her. She could tell him everything—how she felt about him, how she longed for him—and let herself fall. Or she could continue holding on to the ledge, protecting herself from potential pain.

  She bought time eating the nostalgic dinner he’d planned. The sausage was salty and seasoned. Even though it was fancier than the hot dogs they used to roast, it brought her back to those simple, carefree days.

  Cassidy finished eating and set the plate on the ground. The truth was that reliving the past with Levi made her never want to leave it behind. “I guess I would say that some things are worth taking with you. Some things you can’t leave behind. Like memories.” Like the people you’ve always loved.

  Levi set his plate aside too. “There are a lot of memories,” he agreed, giving her a meaningful smile. “What are some of your best memories, Cass?”

  She gazed over at the water’s glassy surface. It caught the sunset in a shimmering reflection. “We went skinny-dipping here once.”

  “Riiiiggghhht.” Levi laughed.

  “We did!” She wasn’t about to let him disregard her one naughty memory from high school. “Homecoming night junior year. Me and Jessie and Heather and Michelle.”

  “You mean you and the Math Club girls?” he mocked.

  “Hey,” she warned. “They were fun. And we did. We drove Heather’s dad’s Jeep up here after the dance, stripped off our dresses, and ran into the water.” It had been one of the highlights of her high school career. Of course, they’d run right back out of the water and quickly redressed, so the whole thing lasted only about three minutes, but he didn’t need to know that. “I swear. We did. You were probably making out with the flavor of the month at the time.”

  His jaw dropped. “You trespassed naked on our land? But you were such a good girl…” He said it like it turned him on.

  “I know.” The memory sparkled inside of her again, all those feelings, the thrill. “That’s what made it so exciting. We never did stuff like that.”

  “How come you didn’t invite me?” he asked, the fire making his eyes glow dangerously.

  “Cash would never have approved,” she said with a teasing glance.

  Levi didn’t tease back. His eyes had locked on hers with the same intensity that seemed to grip him right before he’d kissed her those few times. “I love you, Cass,” he said abruptly, as though he was tired of keeping it a secret. “That’s why I brought you here. That’s the only thing I wanted to tell you. I love you, and I think that means this thing between us would be worth the risk.”

  She gazed at him, unable to speak. Unable to draw in a breath.

  His expression was grim. “I had to grow up. It took longer than it should’ve, but now I know. I know that you make me want to be a better person. I know that I can’t imagine not seeing you again after you move to Denver.”

  Her eyes closed. She couldn’t deny it. The truth beat in her heart. “I love you too,” she whispered. “And it scares me so much.”

  He slipped out of his chair and knelt in front of her. His skin was rough and calloused with scars, but he held her hands tenderly. “You don’t have to be afraid of me.”

&
nbsp; “It’s not you I’m afraid of.” She could hardly whisper. “I’m afraid I won’t be able to do this. To be who you need me to be. To give you everything you need. I’m afraid something horrible will happen to you. Just like it happened to Cash.” Tears brightened the world, stinging her eyes with a lovely kind of pain. She was safe with him. She was safe to admit the worst. “Sometimes, I feel so empty. Like I’ve been living on autopilot.” And you couldn’t do that in a relationship. You couldn’t turn the feelings off and on…sometimes opening yourself fully to that love and sometimes closing yourself off. “You deserve more.”

  “I want you.” Levi stood and pulled her up. “Whatever that looks like. Whatever you can give.” He leaned down and pressed his lips to hers, capturing them in a sensual rhythm while his hand came up to rest over her heart. “You’re not on autopilot now,” he murmured against her lips.

  No. She wasn’t. Her heart had quickened, drumming a solid pulse throughout her body.

  His arms encircled her, pulling her in. “How did you feel when you went skinny dipping that night?”

  She leaned into him. “I felt free. Alive.” That night, it seemed anything was possible. They’d been so brave. It was how she’d pictured herself being in the future—unafraid of venturing outside of her comfort zone. But that was the last time she’d felt that way. A month later, her brother died, and responsibilities weighed her down.

  “Don’t you want to do it again?” Gazing into her eyes, he stepped back and pulled his T-shirt up and over his head and then dropped it on the ground.

  She did her best not to react, but her eyes widened and her lips parted. He was exquisite. Lean muscle, chiseled detail, broad chest and pecs. The sight was even better than the pictures that were plastered everywhere online. “I thought they’d airbrushed you.”

  His head tilted. “Say what?”

  “Those pictures they’re always posting on the Internet. Of you without…um…your…um…shirt,” she stammered, suddenly embarrassed to admit she’d been gawking at him for the past six years. Though with that body of his, it was kind of hard not to.

  “You thought they Photoshopped me?” he repeated in mock disbelief.

  “Well, yeah.” She thought they did that to everyone. She eyed his chest again. Apparently they didn’t have to with Levi Cortez.

  He inched closer, the look on his face almost predatory. “You looked at pictures of me online?”

  “Darla forced me to.” Staring at hot men online was one of her friend’s favorite pastimes. Of course, she’d looked him up on her own a few times too. Only to see his stats on the circuit, of course. Not that he should be privy to that information.

  “Did you like what you saw?” he asked in a husky voice.

  One of her shoulders lifted in a pathetically weak shrug. “Kind of.”

  He inched closer. “Do you like what you see now?”

  Her gaze trailed down his body. Before she knew what she was doing, her hand brushed his chest and worked its way down his abs. “Mmm-hmmm.”

  “Want to see more?” He kicked off his boots, and his hands went to his silver belt buckle.

  Whoa. She blinked hard. Wait a minute. Was he stripping? She shook herself awake. “We can’t go skinny-dipping!” She backed away from him, nearly tripping over the chair in the process.

  He unclasped his belt. “Why not?”

  “Well…” Staring at his chest, she struggled to come up with one logical reason. Rational thought, rational thought…there had to be one in there somewhere. “What if someone else shows up?” Like Dev? “It’s indecent exposure.”

  Levi laughed. “It’s private property. No one will show up. Lucas and Naomi hardly ever leave the house anymore, and Lance and Jessa are in Denver for the night.” He pulled her into his arms. “So it’s just you and me, baby.”

  “And maybe bears.” She glanced around nervously.

  “They’re not gonna bother us. Trust me. We’ll make too much noise.” He took another step back, undoing the button fly and shoving his jeans down his hips slowly, like he wanted to torture her.

  He was. Torturing her. Oh my stars. She was in trouble. The man wore black boxer briefs. Tight black boxer briefs that hugged his hips…that hugged every impressive inch of him. Her knees faltered.

  He stepped out of his jeans, kicking them aside before backing down to the water’s edge. He waded in up to his ankles. “Water’s pretty warm. Wanna feel?”

  “Yes.” The word sighed out of her. She wanted to feel more than the water. She wanted to feel the thrill of his touch. She wanted to feel him.

  She wandered to the shoreline, her legs already weak. Levi met her halfway. He knelt and slipped off her boots and socks. Then he stood and brushed her hair off her shoulders before sliding her shirt over her head. He lowered his lips to hers, warm and consuming, kissing her deeply as he unclasped her bra and slipped it off her shoulders. With his eyes focused on hers, he unbuttoned her jeans, sliding them down her hips, taking her underwear with them.

  Holding on to his shoulders, she stepped out of her pants and kissed her way down his chest, catching the waist of his boxers with her fingers before pulling them to the ground.

  She touched him, grazing her hands along his hips. His body was hard and alert. Beautiful and strong.

  When her eyes found his again, she realized he was watching her. “You are the sexiest woman alive,” he uttered, tracing his finger from her collarbone to her belly button.

  “No one’s ever accused me of that before.” Usually she was either tromping around in her EMT uniform or at home studying in her yoga pants.

  “I’ve thought so for a long time,” he insisted, examining her closely. “A really long time.”

  She smiled, going for that seductive blend of sly and sweet. “It’s no secret that I’ve been admiring your body for a while too.”

  “Come on.” He held her hand and led her into the water, moving slowly until they’d waded in all the way up to their waists. It was warm and calming, just like she remembered.

  “We were so scared that night…” She laughed, reliving the squeals and the splashing as she and her friends sprinted out of the water and hurried to put their clothes back on before they got caught.

  “And what about tonight?” Levi drew her closer, holding her body against his, and she took it all in, the feel of his skin, the orange reflection of the sky dancing on the water’s surface.

  “Tonight is the most beautiful, perfect night,” she murmured, reaching up to touch her lips to his. The fears and hesitations that had held her back burned up in the desire that blazed inside her. She wanted this. Wanted him.

  “It’s about to get better.” He whispered the words against her neck as he lifted her into his arms. She wrapped her legs around his waist and let him carry her deeper into the pool.

  Holding on, she kissed his neck, licking and biting his skin, earning a low growl. “Not sure I’ll be able to hold out this time,” he rasped.

  “I won’t let you.” She brought her face level with his and shot him a meaningful smirk. Tonight wasn’t about her. It was about them, about their past and their future, about living this present moment as fully as they could. And she intended to make it very, very good for him.

  He kissed her again, hard and possessively, his tongue seeking hers.

  Without breaking away from his mouth, she groped her hand down his body until she found what she was looking for.

  “Fuck,” he uttered, nearly breathless as she teased him with a firm caress.

  “Say that again,” she panted into his ear, lowering her other hand too.

  “Fuck, Cass,” he moaned helplessly. Lowering his head, he kissed his way down to her breast and toyed with her nipple, until all she could do was gasp. One of his hands supported her backside while the other moved between her legs. “Uh, uh, uh,” she taunted, pushing away from him. “I thought we were only going for a swim.” If there was too much touching, he’d have her crying out his name i
n a matter of minutes, and she wanted to drag this out as long as possible. Kicking her feet, she pushed into a back float and drifted away from him.

  He stood and watched her as though completely mesmerized. “Normally I’d love to sit and watch you swim naked.” Greed flashed in his eyes. “But tonight that won’t be enough.” He dove under the water’s surface.

  Cassidy bolted upright, her feet sinking slightly in the soft sand. She turned in a slow circle. “Where’d you go?” She scanned the water but couldn’t see anything with the dusky shadows.

  A splash sounded behind her, and Levi broke above the surface, wrapping his arms around her waist. “I like it when you tease me,” he murmured in between kissing her neck. “Damn, Cass. I can’t get enough of kissing you…of touching you.” His hands wandered higher, cupping her breasts.

  “I hope you never get enough.” She turned to him so she could look into his eyes, so he could see all of her, everything she’d hidden from him before. This was what had been missing from her life. Levi. He made her want to feel again.

  “I need you inside me,” she murmured, her body strengthening in a surge of passion. Levi made her feel invincible. She couldn’t wait, couldn’t spend one more minute without that bond between them, without giving him everything she had.

  “Yes.” As he urged her back to the shoreline, he kissed her, taking tastes of her lips, her neck, her breasts. “Wait here,” he uttered when they’d reached the shallow water. He broke away from her and jogged over to the box he’d set on the ground earlier.

  Laughing, she watched him tear things out—more newspaper, a lighter, and finally a large, soft blanket.

  He rushed back to the water, and she met him at the edge.

  “We could go back to Lance and Jessa’s place if you want.” He pulled her against him and wrapped the blanket around them both.

  “No.” She slid her hands down his body. “Now. Here.” In this place where they’d shared so many good memories. “No more waiting,” she whispered, drawing his lips back to hers.