Logan's Need

by Sloane Kennedy

  “Logan?”

  The voice sounded far away as he ran his thumb over the sharp little indentations and felt each one drag and catch on his skin.

  “Logan!” Savannah’s frightened voice broke through and he looked up at her. Her eyes, so much like his own, were filled with a mixture of fear and confusion. Everyone else was looking at him too.

  He turned his attention back to Savannah. “I understand now,” he said quietly as he glanced back at the knife. “I understand why you did it.” He heard her sharp intake of breath. “I didn’t really get it before – I didn’t understand how much you must have been hurting inside,” he said. He saw Shane clasp her hand again.

  Logan lowered the fork first, then fingered the knife once more before he lowered it as well. “God, I wish you had come to me,” he whispered.

  “Logan,” Shane said in warning.

  “No, Shane, don’t,” Savannah said as she squeezed his hand. She turned her attention back to him, tears swimming in her eyes.

  “I should have,” she agreed.

  “Maybe I couldn’t have fixed it,” he said. “But I would have tried.”

  She nodded, but couldn’t force any words out.

  “I hurt like that now, Savannah.”

  “Please tell me why,” she begged.

  “I pushed him away,” he said, the words catching in his throat. “I can’t tell what’s real anymore and what’s not. I don’t know if he can love me the way he loved her. If he can forgive me for the choices I made.” He looked up at her, tears blurring his vision. “But it’s like I can’t breathe without him,” he said as he wiped his hand across his eyes to clear them.

  “Are you talking about Dom?” Savannah asked gently. He nodded.

  “Son,” he heard from the other end of the table and he looked up at Shane’s father. “Life changes in an instant,” he said solemnly as he gripped his wife’s hand. He knew they were remembering the son they’d lost to suicide after they’d pushed him away in an angry moment. “If you love this man, you need to tell him so. Second chances aren’t guaranteed.”

  Savannah grabbed his hand. She pulled it up to her lips and kissed the back of it. “I love you so much. I wish I could go back and change things. I wish I could find a way to earn back your trust,” she said softly.

  He shook his head, but she spoke before he could. “I know you’ve forgiven me…us for keeping things from you,” she said as she motioned to everyone else at the table. “You’ve forgiven us, but you haven’t forgotten, have you?”

  “No,” he admitted. “I’m sorry,” he said softly. It was a brutal truth to have to admit to.

  “It’s okay,” she said, tears streaming down her face. “We’re going to prove to you that you can trust us again. It doesn’t matter how long it takes,” she said emphatically. “That’s what family does.”

  He nodded, then pulled his hand free so he could wipe the tears from her face.

  “I love you,” he said as he stood up and kissed her forehead. He looked around the table and saw that Riley was clinging to Gabe, silent tears streaming down her face. Shane’s parents were holding hands as they watched him with concern and Shane was rubbing Savannah’s back as she dabbed at her eyes with a napkin. When he asked, “Can someone give me a ride to the airport?” he smiled at the sound of every single chair scraping against the floor as they were pushed back. He really did have the best family a guy could ask for.

  Chapter 12

  Dom stepped back to check if the picture was straight. It was one of his favorites of Sylvie – taken days after her terminal diagnosis. She had asked him to take her to the Olympic Peninsula and they’d spent the day exploring the jagged rocks along the beach near the Cape Flattery Lighthouse. They’d taken Baby with them and he’d managed to snap a picture of Sylvie as she sat on the beach watching the sunset, the loyal dog sitting protectively next to her. The picture was actually from the back, so her face wasn’t even visible, but the setting sun had cast a mix of light and shadows that showed the strength in Sylvie’s small frame.

  “It’s beautiful,” he heard behind him and he closed his eyes at the combination of need and relief that went through him at the sound of one of only two voices that could bring him to his knees. He steeled himself against the emotion that went through him and stepped back from the picture, his fingers briefly skimming over the glass.

  He turned and faced Logan who was standing near the doorway of the bedroom. Seeing how beautiful and broken the younger man looked had him taking a step forward before he realized what he was doing. He covered his weakness by moving to the nightstand and putting down the hammer.

  “What are you doing here?” he forced himself to ask.

  Logan stepped further into the room, his ragged features drawn tight as he drew his arms around his body as if he were cold and was trying to warm himself. Dom automatically reached to flip the switch that would close the glass panel door behind him that he’d opened earlier when he’d arrived at the island house. It wasn’t particularly warm outside, but the air had been soothing somehow.

  “Where are the rest?” Logan asked as he motioned around the bedroom.

  “Still in my study where you left them,” he said. “I’ll find other places for some of them and put the rest in a photo album,” he answered flatly. He hadn’t given the pictures much thought after he had smashed them the night of the funeral. The night he’d welcomed Logan into his body for the first time. Silently cursing himself, he shook off the memory.

  “Where’s Cade?” Dom asked.

  Logan shrugged. “I’m not sure. I didn’t let him know I was coming back early.” He flinched when Logan stopped next to him and studied the picture. The close proximity was brutal on his senses so he pushed past Logan and went to the other side of the room to close the box of nails he’d left sitting on a chair in the corner.

  “Why are you here?” he asked again.

  “You weren’t at your apartment so I figured you’d be with your brother or you’d be here,” Logan said quietly.

  “Vin’s not back yet,” he said, his anger growing. “Answer the fucking question. Why are you here?” He tossed the nails down on the chair and turned to study the other man.

  “Where’s Eli? And Baby?”

  Dom bit back a growl and said, “I found Eli’s mom and pulled some strings to get her a green card. She arrived this morning. I put her and Eli up in a hotel ‘till I can find them something permanent.”

  “And Baby?” he asked.

  “I gave him to Eli. He needed him more than I did.” Logan nodded and Dom heard him chuckle softly. “I don’t want to see you, Logan,” he said, his need knotting in his gut.

  Logan turned to face the water, his back stiff. “Tell me how to stop and I’ll go.”

  “Stop what?”

  “Loving you,” Logan whispered. He turned to face Dom, his expression pained. “Tell me what I have to do to stop this endless ache I feel for you.”

  Dom’s world shattered at the words and he stepped back. “No,” he said automatically, angrily.

  Logan closed his eyes. “I kept waiting for another letter from her,” he said, motioning to the picture of Sylvie. “I kept waiting for her to tell me it was okay to love you.”

  Dom felt like his chest was going to explode. His knees actually started to buckle and he put his hand on the wall to keep himself upright.

  “You have to go, Logan.”

  Logan ignored him and continued. “I kept thinking I needed other people to approve of what I felt for you because I didn’t trust myself anymore. I couldn’t see past my mistakes and choices to see what you see in me. I couldn’t believe that maybe you could love me the way you loved her.”

  “Jesus,” Dom said, his body starting to shake.

  Logan was looking directly at him now. “But you did, didn’t you?”

  “Yes,” Dom managed to rasp out.

  “But I’m too late. I hurt you too much,” he said quietly.

>   “Yes, damn it!” Dom shouted.

  Logan turned away as a small gasp of breath escaped his body, then he nodded and walked towards the door. A few seconds and this would be over for good. Dom knew there would be no coming back from this. He just had to hang on for a few more seconds.

  ***

  Logan bit down hard on his lip as he walked past Dom. He’d known this was a possibility and had accepted it when he boarded the commercial flight earlier tonight. His encounter with his family had left him drained, but the hope that he could get Dom back in his life had kept him moving forward. Walking away was probably one of the hardest things he would ever have to do in his life, but he owed Dom that. His fear and lack of trust had destroyed any chance of a relationship and it was unfair to ask Dom to take yet another risk on him. He forced his eyes to stay on the floor as he passed Dom, and he was proud of himself for holding the tears that threatened at bay.

  As he reached the door, he heard shuffling from behind him, then felt himself being pulled back.

  “No,” he heard Dom say as the man closed his hand around his arm. “No, no, no,” Dom repeated before he turned Logan around and covered his mouth with his own. Logan cried out at the feel of Dom’s lips against his, then let the tears fall as Dom’s tongue stroked his in greeting.

  “I love you so much,” Dom whispered against his lips. “So much,” he said again as he pulled Logan against him, his grip around his waist almost painful. And then his lips were on his face, those heavy hands holding his head as he kissed away the dampness at his eyes, then found his way back to Logan’s mouth.

  Logan tore his mouth free and reached his arms around Dom’s neck and just held him. “I love you, Dom,” he said as he clung to him and buried his face against Dom’s skin. His whole body shook with how close he’d come to losing this and he felt Dom soothing him with long strokes up and down his back. “I’m sorry it took me so long to tell you.”

  “Shhhh,” Dom said as his lips peppered his forehead with light kisses. His anxiety melted under Dom’s calming touch and he reached up to fasten his mouth on Dom’s. They kissed languidly, like they had all the time in the world. But the desire kept building to that familiar ache and he heard Dom groan against him as their cocks brushed against one another.

  “I need you, Dom,” he whispered as his hands searched out the warm skin of Dom’s abdomen.

  “Yes,” Dom said against his lips and then reached for the hem of Logan’s shirt.

  ***

  Dom’s eyes settled on the round scar on Logan’s chest before he dropped the shirt he’d taken off him to the floor. He stroked the scar with his finger over and over, then locked eyes with Logan.

  “That was one of the worst days of my life,” he admitted as he caressed the raised skin. “There was so much blood,” he said softly. “And I leaned down to listen to your heart and there was nothing.” His voice caught as he remembered the terror that had gone through him. He felt Logan hold him tighter as if trying to comfort him.

  “Your lips were cold when I gave you my breath.” He traced Logan’s lips with his thumb and smiled when Logan pressed a small kiss on it. “I was so scared. And then you took a breath.” He leaned down and kissed him hard and fast before he pulled back again. “And when the doctor came out and said you were going to be okay…” He shook his head, unable to finish the sentence.

  Logan pulled Dom’s head down so their lips were almost touching. “Make love to me, Dom,” he breathed and Dom trembled when those perfect lips brushed his. He grabbed the back of Logan’s neck and held him there as he poured all his emotion into their kiss. His tongue played with Logan’s before he tilted Logan’s head back and ran his lips along the hard jaw before settling on Logan’s rapidly beating pulse. His hand skimmed down Logan’s strong back and rested on his lower back and he heard Logan moan when their hips came together. He found that sensitive spot at the base of Logan’s neck and sucked hard, then soothed the area with a lick. Logan’s skin was hot beneath his tongue as he kissed and licked his way across the well-defined pectoral muscles, stopping briefly to give extra attention to the bullet scar.

  Logan’s hands were on the move too as they reached under his shirt to dig into his upper back. Dom released Logan long enough to pull his own shirt off and the other man took full advantage of his distraction by latching his mouth onto one of Dom’s nipples. Lust spiked through Dom at the sensation and then his hands were on Logan’s head as he found the other nipple and gave it the same treatment. “I need to taste you again,” Logan muttered as he surged up and walked Dom backwards till his legs hit the bed. Logan followed him down to the mattress and made love to his mouth for several heart-stopping moments before he slid to his knees on the floor. Soft lips fluttered over his abdomen as Logan worked off his shoes.

  Stretching his arms above his head, Dom reveled in the feel of Logan’s lush lips loving and teasing his tight skin, alternating between light kisses, wet licks and the occasional nip that had Dom’s cock pushing at the confines of his jeans. Logan’s hand rubbed the hard length through the fabric before working the button and zipper free and pulling his pants and underwear off. Dom tensed as he waited for those magic lips to touch him, but they didn’t. Before he could look up, he felt Logan capture his thighs and push his legs up. Hands separated him and he felt the cool air waft over his hole before Logan’s hot tongue covered it and licked softly.

  “Oh God,” he yelled and he shifted up and grabbed his legs so he could watch what Logan was doing to him. The position was awkward and he could only hold it long enough to watch Logan flick his tongue back and forth over the wrinkly skin a few times before he collapsed back on the bed, his hands biting into his legs as he pulled them further up to give Logan more room to work. His body trembled and twitched with every brush of Logan’s mouth. Then he felt slick liquid land on his hole – Logan’s saliva he guessed – and his whole body tightened at what would come next. But it wasn’t the long fingers he had expected. No, Logan’s curled tongue was pushing against him, working the saliva inside with each nudging probe.

  “Open for me,” Logan whispered before he was pushing again and Dom forced himself to relax and then he was bearing down and he felt Logan’s tongue breach him. He shouted as he was licked from the inside and then grabbed the comforter in his hands as Logan began fucking him with his mouth. It was agony and ecstasy combined and he cried out at the loss when Logan pulled free of him. And then the heat was back, wrapped around his dick as Logan sucked him down and swallowed. He lowered his legs and leaned up on his elbows so he could watch that beautiful mouth work up and down his length. Spikes of pleasure went through him as Logan hummed around him before drawing off so he could dribble more saliva onto Dom’s length.

  Logan’s eyes found his before he sucked him in again, and this time those pale blue eyes held him as Logan bobbed up and down on him. The sensation was too much and Dom began thrusting into that hot, lush mouth over and over. Logan didn’t try to even stop him as he slammed against the back of his throat once, twice. It was only his need to be inside Logan in another way that had him stopping and sitting up. He grabbed Logan by the neck and pulled him up so he could reach his lips. Their tongues battled as Logan climbed up his body and settled onto his lap. But kissing wasn’t enough for Dom and he stood, taking Logan with him, before he flipped them so Logan’s hard body was beneath his.

  He pinned Logan’s wrists to the bed and held him there as he rubbed his cock against the steely hardness that was still trapped beneath the fabric of Logan’s jeans. He kissed and licked his way down Logan’s body and stopped when he reached his hips. Straddling Logan’s lower half, Dom reared back so he could study the man beneath him.

  “You’ve lost weight,” he muttered as he ran his fingers over the slightly protruding ribs.

  Logan watched him quietly, solemnly, his hands still resting beside his head. His eyes were open to Dom completely, no longer shuddered or haunted or unsure. God, he loved this man, Dom
thought. Not just his stark beauty, but the strength and kindness in him, the selfless love he had for his sister and the friends he’d made into his family.

  Dom leaned back over Logan and kissed him softly. “I’m going to take care of you,” he said softly. “We’re going to take care of each other.”

  Logan smiled, then kissed him back. The passion that had slowed came back in full force and Dom pulled back and worked the rest of Logan’s clothes from his body. He popped off the bed and scrambled around the nightstand drawer until he found the bottle of baby oil he was looking for. He turned back to Logan who had already pulled his legs up to give Dom access to what he needed. Dom felt his whole body go hot at the sight of that little hole waiting for him and fumbled to get the baby oil open.

  ***

  Logan watched with a mix of amusement and desire as Dom worked the cap on the small bottle open and slicked up his finger. But all his humor fled when those fingers touched him and Dom’s mouth closed around the head of his dick. He wasn’t sure which he wanted more – the probing fingers or the suction that threatened to blow the top of his head off. He felt Dom lick the slit on the head of his cock and then his tongue trailed down to his base. The tip of a finger rubbed over him as Dom sucked one of his balls in, then the other. Logan groaned when he felt oil being directly applied to his opening and then the fingers were back. Dom kept alternating the torture on his balls before one finger slid all the way inside him.

  “Fuck,” Logan muttered as the finger pulled out, then plunged back in. On the next pass, a second finger joined the first and Dom’s tongue drifted down to lick the skin around his hole as the thick fingers fucked into him over and over.

  “Hold yourself open,” he heard Dom order and Logan instantly reached down with his hands to separate the globes of his ass. Dom used his now free hand to grab Logan’s cock and stroke it as his mouth and fingers worked in tandem to loosen him. Logan pushed and squirmed around the digits that twisted inside of him and he shouted when a third finger was added. And then Dom finally brushed his prostate and Logan nearly wept at the shockwaves that went through him.