Falling Together (All That Remains #2)

by S. M. Shade

  “Where are we going?”

  “To a tree we like to…sit under,” he mutters. It’s too dark to see, but I know he’s blushing, and it’s sweet beyond words. They have a place that’s special to them. Oh, please let him be there.

  “Over here.” Airen points to a magnificent weeping willow tree. The drooping leaves graze the forest floor, creating a curtain that encloses the large circular area surrounding the trunk. We step between the branches, and Airen sweeps his flashlight back and forth quickly. Joseph sits with his back against the trunk, knees pulled up to his chest, his head hung low; a silent portrait of despair. He doesn’t even seem to notice our arrival.

  Airen reaches into a hollow space between two bulging roots and produces a lantern. Once it’s lit, the effect on the small space is stunning. Soft orange light throws dancing shadows on the emerald curtain, separating us from the world. A lush carpet of silky green moss covers the ground. Feeling like I’ve stepped into a fairytale land, I close my eyes for a second, inhaling the overwhelming scent of damp leaves and sweet smelling grass.

  “Joey,” Airen says softly, as we sit on either side of him.

  Joseph shakes his head. “I want to be alone.”

  “That isn’t going to happen.” Airen squeezes his shoulder. “You did so well, buddy. I’m sorry for what they put you through.”

  Joseph’s shoulders shake and he keeps his face hidden in his arms. “Why can’t they just love me?” he sobs.

  Oh God. I crush him in my arms, undone by his words. How many times had I cried out those same words? How many times had I written them? Agonized over them? Screamed them into an uncaring universe, begging for an answer, hoping it wasn’t because I was just too worthless to love. I know exactly how he feels and what he needs to hear, to understand.

  “You can’t change them, sweetheart, but you can keep them from changing you. Don’t doubt for a second what a beautiful, kind, and loving man you are. See yourself for the wonderful person you really are, and accept that they’re too damaged to do the same.” Airen stares at me pointedly, and I know he’s thinking I should follow my own advice. As though the difference between me and Joseph isn’t night and day.

  “I know that. In my head, I know they’re the problem, but…”

  “It still hurts,” Airen murmurs, pulling him close.

  He nods, sniffing. “I thought maybe they’d gotten over it, you know?”

  Airen keeps his arms locked around him and brings their foreheads together. “Maybe they’ll never get past it, Joey, but I know one thing. They do love you. They searched all this time for you, but they’re brainwashed. The roots are too deep, and they can’t see it any other way. But that doesn’t mean you have to suffer for it. If losing you and then finding you alive didn’t make them see, maybe nothing ever will. You don’t have to feel guilty for letting them go. It’s their loss. You deserve to be accepted and loved for who you are, and you have that. You have us.”

  Chapter Seventeen

  Airen

  Abby’s low soothing voice wakes me just before dawn, and I turn to see Joseph curled up between us in our bed. After the devastating day he had, he passed out as soon as his head struck the pillow.

  “Are you okay?” I murmur. What a stupid question. Of course he isn’t. He’s curled into a ball, sobbing softly.

  Abby shakes her head at me. “He’s not awake.” Oh Christ, he’s crying in his sleep. I’ve never seen anyone do that, and I’m at a loss of what to do. Should I wake him? Abby doesn’t hesitate, wrapping her arms around him, her chest against his back, she speaks softly into his ear. “I love you. Airen loves you. We’re right here. You’re so loved, sweetheart. Please don’t cry.”

  Seeing him like this, so deeply hurt by people who were supposed to love him the most, shatters something deep inside of me. I don’t know how to help him. Abby’s reassuring voice calms him, and his tears stop as his breathing becomes deep and regular. I meet Abby’s gaze in the gloom. “I could kill them for this.”

  “And they’d deserve it,” she whispers.

  Joseph seems a little better in the morning. I’m trying to convince him to go to town with me to refill our fuel containers when his father knocks on the door.

  “Dad,” Carson says warily, leading Joe into the living room.

  “Walker, go to your room,” Joseph orders. Walker nods, shooting a nervous look at Joseph before fleeing the room.

  “What do you want?” I snap, moving to stand in front of Joseph. This bastard is not going to fuck with him anymore.

  “We’re leaving.” He stares at me while I glare back, itching to beat his ass.

  “And?”

  “And I think Walker should come with us. He’s my grandson, and we’ll raise him right.”

  I’m stunned into silence. “You have ten seconds to get the fuck out of our house.” I’ve never been so angry in my life. The fucking nerve.

  “I’m talking to my son.” He turns to Joseph. “It’s obvious you’re a lost cause, but it isn’t too late for your son. Deep down you know this isn’t right and you’ll suffer. He shouldn’t have to pay for your deviant lifestyle choice.”

  My fist connects with his jaw before I realize it’s left my side. He stumbles back and nearly falls before bracing himself and regarding Joseph stoically, waiting. Abby grabs my arm. She’s strong for a little thing.

  Joseph trembles with rage as he faces his father. “Using religion to justify being a hateful bigot is a lifestyle choice. This is who I am. Unlike you, I don’t discard my children. I’d never hand my son over to anyone, least of all an unworthy prick like you. My son will grow up to be proud of who he is.”

  Joseph’s voice is hard and even as he continues. “You know, I hated you for a long time, but I’ve come to realize I owe you a debt of gratitude. When you threw me out, you did me a tremendous favor. You removed me from your toxic influence and spared me the possibility of becoming a narrow minded, self righteous, cold hearted bastard like you. You taught me what kind of man I never want to be. All you had to do was be yourself for me to strive to be the opposite. So, thank you for being a horrible warning.”

  Joe shakes his head. “I’m done with you.” He turns to Carson. “You don’t have to stay here, son. You don’t have to live this way. You’re welcome to come along with us.”

  I start toward him again, seeing red as he tries to lure away Abby’s firstborn, but she squeezes my arm and whispers, “Let him answer.”

  Carson grins. “I’d rather shit in my hands and clap, but thanks for the invitation.”

  Joseph jerks opens the front door and flashes a sarcastic smile. “Now, I believe my gorgeous man told you to get the fuck out.” Joe glares at all of us before he stalks out the door, leaving the room quiet enough to hear a mosquito sneeze.

  I grab Joseph and kiss him lightly. “Finally…you admit I’m gorgeous.”

  “Figures that’s the part you’d remember,” he says with a grin.

  “No, Joey. I’ll never forget how amazing and brave and strong you were.”

  “And I’ll never forget you sucker punching my dad in the jaw.”

  “Be glad your mother didn’t come. Abby would’ve laid her out.”

  Joseph grins at Abby and she joins us, wrapping her arms around us both. “Are you okay?” she murmurs.

  “I will be.”

  * * * *

  He’s not okay. It’s been a week since Joseph’s parents left, and he barely speaks to anyone except to snap at them. He’s so angry and he has no idea how to deal with it.

  “Stay with Abby tonight, Airen. I’d rather have a night alone.” Joseph pulls on a pair of shorts before scrubbing his wet hair with a towel.

  “No, you stayed alone last night.” He huffs and heads to the door to rouse Abby from the spare bedroom, but I catch him in the hall, jerking him back into our room.

  “Airen, goddamn it!”

  “Just stop.” I pin him against the wall. “I know you’re upset, but I’ve h
ad enough of this shit. This isn’t you.”

  “I’m not upset! I’m just not in the mood for your shit tonight. Get off of me!” He struggles to get loose and finally shoves me back. “Leave me the fuck alone!”

  When I reach for him again, he swings and punches me in the stomach. “Is that it? Are you done?” This time his fist connects with my right eye, and my grip loosens as a white light explodes across my vision, but I hang onto him. We’re ending this now. He grunts when I shove him back against the wall hard. “Feels good doesn’t it? Do it again.” My hands land forcefully on his shoulders, goading him. “Hit me again. Get it out of your system,” I bark. He shoves me hard, rattling my teeth and I return the favor. “You want to hate the world? You want to let them win?”

  “No! Get the fuck off me!” His voice is beginning to waver, and he isn’t struggling as hard to escape me.

  “Be pissed, Joey. You have every right, but do something with it. Take it out on me if you have to, but get it out.” My gaze locks with his, and he glares at me, breathing hard, his whole body trembling. “You’re okay,” I declare emphatically. He shakes his head, and I wrap my arms around him when he starts to sob. I don’t know how long we stand there before I lead him to the bed.

  “I want to hate them.”

  “I know, but you’re better than them. You don’t have it in you to hate. I’ll hate them enough for both of us.”

  “I wish I was like you.” His voice is small.

  “Mean like me?” I grin and pull him down to lie beside me.

  “A fighter like you. Like Abby.”

  “Don’t say that. I already have a black eye. Besides, the last thing Abby needs is two of me.”

  “I need you,” he murmurs.

  “You have me, Joey.” His lips meet mine, soft and smooth. Abby is right, he has the sexiest lips. His kiss is imploring, almost needy as he reaches for comfort and reassurance. He needs me. I push him back onto the bed and my hands cradle his face while I kiss him with every ounce of my strength.

  A moan rattles his throat when I bite his lower lip, before licking down his neck to his chest. His skin is salty, and he smells like the spicy body wash he’s so fond of using. He rolls me and licks across my nipple before nipping at it. The sting makes me hiss, his responding growl lighting a fire at the base of my spine as his hand slides between my legs. His moves are frantic, almost desperate. I shove him off of me and pull off his sweats and underwear before pinning him back down on the bed. When he attempts to roll me again, I flash him a wicked smile. My palm lands sharply across his hand when he reaches between my legs again.

  “No. You’re mine, tonight.” He moans and gasps when I take him in my mouth, teasing and licking him until he’s writhing beneath me.

  “For fuck’s sake, Airen!”

  “Shut up.” His skin is hot beneath my palms when I roll him onto his side and grind my hips against his ass, letting him feel how hard I am before I slide a lubed finger between his cheeks. It’s fucking hot, the way he grunts and presses back into my hand when I add another finger, then another. When I graze his gland, he moans so loud I can feel his chest vibrate.

  “What do you want, Joey? Tell me what you need,” I whisper, working my fingers into him and kissing the spot between his shoulder blades that makes him shiver.

  “Fuck me.” My fingers stroke firmly over that sensitive spot and he yelps.

  “I didn’t quite hear you,” I tease.

  “Fuck me!” He slides his leg up when I slip behind him. After lubing up, I press against him firmly.

  “You lead. I don’t want to hurt you.”

  “You won’t. I’m ready,” he pants. I rub myself over him a few times before pushing just inside. He hisses and takes a deep breath. My lips are at his ear and my hand strokes down his hip, soothing him.

  “Relax for me, Joey. Let me in.” Groaning, he pushes back into me until I’m completely sheathed in him. “Christ, you feel so fucking good,” I moan. It’s so different, scorching hot and tight as a fist. “Are you okay?” Sweat pops out along my forehead and upper lip as I restrain myself from fucking him senseless.

  “Yes, go fast.”

  “I don’t take orders.” I bite his shoulder while I slide out and press back in slowly. “Does it feel good?” I murmur.

  “Yes,” he moans as I do it again…out and in…excruciatingly slowly. “Airen.”

  “Hmm?”

  “Please.”

  “Oh, I love it when you beg.” I grip his hips and increase my pace, finding the perfect angle to strike his gland every time. “If you don’t stop with those noises, I’m going to come,” I warn him. His deep chuckle is cut off as he comes hard with a long drawn out groan when I roll his balls between my fingers. He fucking loves that. When he clenches around me, I’m shoved into an orgasm so fast and hard it’s almost painful.

  We lie together, my face pressed against his sweaty back while we recover. “You okay?”

  “Mmm.”

  “Answer me, dimples.”

  “I love you.”

  “I love you, too.”

  * * * *

  The last few weeks have been relatively quiet compared to the months before. We have had so much shit piled on us it’s amazing we’ve managed to dig our way out. Hand over hand, we’ve climbed our way to the top of the heap. Now we only have to rinse ourselves off and start again.

  Joseph and I spend the morning on the lake, fishing and soaking in the silence. When we come home at lunchtime we’re met by Abby’s sour face. “Where are the kids?” Joseph asks.

  “They went to Julie’s.”

  “Have they had lunch?” I ask.

  “No, Airen, I made them forage for nuts and berries.” Joseph glances at me, raising his eyebrows, but wisely decides to keep his mouth shut. He grabs a jar of peanut butter from the cabinet and cuts two slices of bread from the loaf on the table. After opening a jar of peaches and pouring himself a glass of iced tea, he sits at the table to eat. Abby sips a glass of lemonade while I root around in the fridge.

  “Where’s the ham?” I ask, shifting the containers aside.

  “In the smokehouse. I told you we were running low,” Abby snaps. What the fuck?

  “Why are you so pissed?” I demand.

  “I don’t know, Airen. I guess I thought you could feed yourself for one damn meal.” Lemonade sloshes over the rim of her cup and splashes on the floor when she slams it down on the counter. She snatches the towel from my hand when I move to wipe up the spill. “Don’t bother. You don’t want to break your record of two years without cleaning up.”

  Fine. Fuck it. I don’t know what her problem is, but I’m not going to stand here and take her shit anymore. “I’m going to shower, then I’ll meet you in the shed if you want to go change the traps,” I tell Joseph. Nodding at me, he glances at Abby, probably expecting another snotty remark, but she averts her eyes.

  Cool water flows through my hair, washing over my scalp and taking the heat of the day down the drain. It’s a fantastic feeling, and not even Abby’s bitchy attitude can ruin that few minutes of bliss and relief. I don’t know what’s up her ass today, but I’ve learned that demanding an answer just makes things worse. When she’s pressured, she digs in her stubborn heels and there’s no arguing with her. We just end up screaming.

  Joseph is still at the table when I return to the kitchen, while Abby reheats a bowl of stew from last night’s dinner. Her face is pale, and she looks exhausted. Why didn’t I notice that before? Without a word, she turns and wraps her arms around my waist, leaning her head on my shoulder. I automatically embrace her and a small grin appears on Joseph’s face.

  “What’s wrong, darlin’?” I ask, threading my fingers through her hair.

  “I’m sorry. I had no reason to talk to you like that.”

  “It’s okay. Just tell me what’s bothering you.”

  Her chest expands on a deep sigh. “I’m just…hormonal. I’m having a hard time this month. My mood is all
over the place, and my back is killing me, but I didn’t mean to take it out on you. Julie’s keeping the kids tonight, and I know it’s our night together, but trust me, I won’t be good company. You and Joseph take tonight.” Backing away from me, she picks up the bowl of reheated stew and sets it on the table. “You guys eat. I need to lie down for awhile.”

  I catch her in a hug before she can escape, and she clings to me with a low hum. “What can I do, sweetheart?”

  “Stay away from me so I don’t eviscerate you with my super bitch powers. I’ll feel better tomorrow.”

  “I’ll check on you in a little while.” She nods, and Joseph comes around the table to hug her.

  “Who loves you, ladybug?” he murmurs, kissing the top of her head.

  “You and Airen, even when I’m a bitch who doesn’t deserve it.”

  “You always deserve it.”

  “Notice he didn’t argue over the bitch remark,” she says with a giggle, winking at me with her face resting on his chest. Christ, she’s an emotional pendulum. I don’t know whether to hug her or douse her in holy water.

  “Abby, you know I don’t think…” Joseph protests, and she laughs, interrupting him.

  “Relax, I’m just teasing.”

  After Abby heads to bed, we dig into the leftover stew, and I throw a piece of bread at Joseph, grinning when it bounces off his forehead and lands in his bowl. “You sure clammed up fast, you chickenshit. What did you say to her while I was in the shower?”

  Dimples crease his cheeks while he scoops up the bread with his spoon and takes a bite before answering, “I didn’t say shit, and neither did she. I wanted you two to work it out.”

  “She apologized.” I’m still a little stunned.

  “I guess she felt bad.”

  “How the hell are we supposed to know how she feels if she doesn’t?”

  He snorts. “You’re asking me to figure out the workings of the female mind?”