Country Secrets

by Caz May

  “It's my job Savannah. But you were damn lucky that fire didn't take hold and the firies got out here so quick."

  Her face is emotionless, her whole body shaking. I can't even begin to understand what she'd gone through.

  Hugh had gone back over to the other firefighters to see what was happening.

  Again I call out to him, "Hugh man, hows it’s going with the fire?"

  "All clear man. Fucking lucky."

  "Damn right, could we get some medical assistance for her?"

  "Yeah no worries,” he replies, before grabbing a first aid kit from the fire truck.

  Returning to Savannah, he cleans up the rope wounds and bandages her ankles up. She writhes at the pain, still shaking in terror.

  “Are you bleeding anywhere else?” Hugh asks her softly.

  She nods but she doesn’t need to tell us with words. It’s written all over her face and from what I’d seen on the back seat I know anyway without her having to use words to tell me.

  “Was an ambulance dispatched Hugh?”

  “Nah, didn’t know any people were involved.”

  “No worries. I’ll take her in the patrol car.”

  “No worries mate. See you back in town.”

  Carefully I help Savannah walk to the patrol car, letting her lean on my shoulder with my arm around her waist for support. Every step putting pressure on her ankles she sniffles trying to hold back the tears from the pain. I help her slide into the front seat, picking up her legs gently before closing the door.

  My heart is truly aching for her.

  The whole way back into town she sobs. It’s my job to ask what had happened but it’s clear she’s in no condition to do so. Nothing like this has ever happened in Ridgehope and I’m completely in the dark about how to be professional about it, but also show genuine care.

  I look across at her and say, “It’s going to be ok Savannah, I promise.”

  I can only hope that I’m not making a promise I can't keep.

  (35) Hunter

  I'd stumbled out the pub about an hour after my talk with Addison, having had a few to many whisky’s. I needed to sober up so as to get back home and collapse in bed, to wallow in my sorrow from losing the woman I love.

  It seems like the world is against me and I’m going to be doomed to be with Addison, in a loveless relationship, at least from my side.

  The song that was playing in the pub, 'You are the reason,' keeps repeating in my head.

  Savannah had become my reason for living, for breathing and she’s gone.

  Other than her there’s only one person I need to see right now and punching myself in the stomach, in an attempt to sober up I slowly walk to the rest home.

  The doors open and Maggie at the desk gasps in shock when she sees me.

  "Hunter, you look terrible. Is something wrong?"

  "I just need to see Mum,” I say, trying not to slur the words.

  "Visiting hours are over honey."

  "Please Maggie. I need to see her."

  "Hunter I’m sorry we can't allow that."

  No! I need to see her. I'm quite literally dying here.

  "You don't understand Maggie, I'm dying. I need to see my mum."

  She looks at me concerned. Probably wondering if I’m really dying. I know I’m not but the pain is real and my heart is constricted for sure.

  “Ok, Hunter. Go on through but don't tell anyone I let you in."

  I bolt down the hallway to my Mum's room, knocking violently until she meekly says, ’come in’ and when she looks at me as I open the door the pain on her face breaks my heart even more.

  "Hunter sweetie, whats wrong?"

  "Savannah."

  "What about your dear girlfriend sweetie?"

  Hearing her say, 'girlfriend' literally yanks at my heart.I clutch my chest and fall on my knees in front my Mum's feet.

  I’m not much of a cryer normally but the tears that had been threatening to fall for hours break through and I’m sobbing into my Mum's knees.

  She kisses my hair and lifts my head up to look at her. “Hunter my dear boy. This doesn't seem like a mere breakup."

  I shake my head, wiping the tears away with my sleeve.

  "She's gone Mum."

  "I don't understand what you mean Hunter."

  I have to break through the grief and tell her.

  "You know the fundraiser night, when I brought her to see you?"

  “Yes, dear, did something happen then?"

  "No, not really but she freaked out because she thought she saw her ex-husband in the crowd."

  Mum nods, so I continue, "Turns out she did, as he came to get her in the Supermarket earlier."

  "So she's gone back to him?"

  I shake my head, the tears threatening to break through again. “

  No Mum. Did you hear the fire truck sirens earlier?"

  “Yes, dear, no doubt a bushfire."

  “Yes, Mum a bushfire lit by him. He killed her Mum."

  God, those words hurt like a bitch, more than that, there are no words.

  The shock that crosses my Mum's face is indescribable. She pulls me closer to her, rubbing my hair to try and soothe the pain.

  Abruptly she stops and asks, "Sweetie are you sure he?"

  She can't bring herself to say the word 'killed'. We both know the shock of that word in our family but I don't want to think about that now.

  Her words hit me though and I shake my head. I don't know if Savannah is gone. I just presumed and I've not heard anything from Quentin so maybe it’s a case of no news is good news.

  Soothingly my Mum says, "Well honey get out of here and go find out. And tell her you love her.”

  ~ ~

  In obvious no condition to drive and to clear my head I run towards the police station, scanning my surroundings as I run. In what I first think has to be the most cruel but amazing mirage a police patrol car is driving into town, driven by my brother with Savannah in the passenger seat.

  I have to be dreaming and if I’m dreaming, then running out in front of the car would be a good decision, not a damn stupid one.

  So I do it.

  I run out onto the street, waiting and hoping for Quentin to realise it’s me who’s running out in front of the car, waving my hands in panic.

  He screeches the car to a stop, mere centimetres from my feet.

  “What the fuck Hunter?” he curses at me through the open window.

  "Why didn't you call me and tell me, Quentin?”

  "Because I had to make sure she was alright first. I'm taking her to the damn hospital."

  He isn't going to tell me this time that I’m not allowed to go with him; he’d have a better chance of seeing pigs fly.

  Walking to the passenger side I yank the door open.

  “This time I'm damn well coming with you."

  "Just get in before I say no,” he squawks at me.

  I slide into the back seat and my heart lurches seeing how much pain Savannah is in. She turns to look back at me, and smiles through the pain. I lean forward, lightly caressing her cheek.

  “Oh Savannah, I'm so sorry."

  She presses a kiss against my hand taking me by complete surprise when she speaks, "It's ok."

  It isn't ok. It’s far from ok.

  I don't even want to think about what he might have done to her for her to be in so much pain.

  “It's not ok Savannah. You’re obviously in pain baby.”

  She doesn't take her eyes off me the whole few minutes drive to the hospital, the pain and trauma evident in them.

  Quentin cuts the engine when we arrive, and we are both at her door helping her out of the car to take her inside.

  She leans on our shoulders between us, writhing in pain with each step on her badly bruised and cut ankles.

  My heart is breaking for her.

  I sit with her in the waiting area whilst Quentin fills the emergency nurse in on the details.

  I can't really hear much of their
conversation, but one word sticks out and it cuts me deep inside.

  'Rape'. How could he have done something so vile to her?

  I pull her against my body and kiss the side of her head. I really want to tell her 'I love her’ just like my Mum had said to, but it isn't the right time.

  A nurse comes up to us, bending down in front of us.

  "Savannah, we're going to admit you, just to check your wounds and do some tests for the police. Is that ok?"

  She nods a 'yes' and squeezes my hand that I hadn't realised she'd taken in hers.

  Helping her up I lead her to the exam bed, lifting her up by the waist and setting her down on it.

  The nurse comes in, handing her a gown to put on. She grabs my hand again when the nurse asks if she needs help.

  "I'll just be outside the curtain baby. Let the nurse help you."

  Waiting outside the curtain is torture, as all I can hear is her sobbing from the pain and I just want to take it away, by wishing I could turn back the clock on today and start it over.

  I would have gone with her into the supermarket and taken the low life down, but as much as I want to I can't change what has happened.

  I just need to be there for her, to love her.

  The nurse comes out addressing me sternly, "She's in a lot of pain. The doctor will be here in a moment."

  “Thanks," I say slipping back behind the curtain. Seeing her back in a hospital bed again breaks my heart into pieces.

  Again a part of me feels guilt for putting her there but I know that it isn't really my fault.

  It’s the fault only of the low life she calls her ‘husband’, an absolute tool I don’t know, but who’s obviously not worthy of being called a ‘husband’ to anyone let alone someone as beautiful as Savannah.

  At the bed next to her I take her hand lifting it and pressing a kiss to it.

  God, I want to tell her I love her so much.

  (36) Savannah

  Doctor Rivnay appears around the curtain with a look of concern on his face. Hunter had been so sweet, but I could tell he was heartbroken for me and that he heard Quentin say words to the nurse that he didn't want to hear.

  I have no idea how I’m going to begin telling him what Dante had done to me, but I have to. The way he’s looking at me makes it clear how he feels about me and I know I feel the same about him but after what I've just been through it’s going to be incredibly difficult to express it to him like he needs me too.

  Part of me wants to run again, to escape from the hurt I'd experienced in Ridgehope, but it’s only because I'd see the pain every time I step foot in the supermarket or every time I went to the to oval.

  It would surround me, but more than ever I need to brave and overcome the fear and pain.

  Granted I’m also torn between wanting to let Hunter in and wanting to run.

  After what I’d been through, I should be traumatised, barely able to function, move or speak, but I’ve been through it all before.

  Dante taking me for himself, tying me up as he forced himself on me, not caring how much pain he inflicted.

  The only thing that was different this time was being in the boot of the car, able to smell the smoke and hear the hiss of fire looming.

  I was terrified for my life, feeling as though the scars and pain would never leave, but at the same time I knew the moment Quentin found me in the boot, the way he looked at me with genuine concern that being in Ridgehope with Hunter is where I’m supposed to be.

  He makes the pain fade away just with one look at me, that shows me how much he loves me.

  The trauma of the day is coursing through my body, the physical pain almost unbearable, but I’d learnt to block out how Dante had made me feel.

  I wouldn’t have been able to get through a day if I focused on everything Dante put me through, both physically and mentally, not only this day but all of the days before I left.

  Lying in the car boot, terrified for my life, I’d thought back to all the good times I shared with Dante; the first time I’d seen him in the bookshop, our first kiss that was so sweet and how he never seemed to pressure me at first.

  I thought back to how everything suddenly changed the first time he hit me, the slap across my cheek for embarrassing him in front of his friends.

  Maybe I should have run then, and saved myself from the pain.

  But then I wouldn’t be here, I wouldn’t have found Hunter, the man who makes me feel like I could love again, who could take all the pain and trauma of my past and today away with just one look into my eyes.

  Doctor Rivnay is speaking and I have to focus on his words, even though my head is spinning with thoughts of the past.

  "Savannah we need to take a swab for DNA testing."

  I gasp, looking back towards Hunter.

  "Let the doctors do what they need to baby."

  Him calling me ‘baby’ makes me feel better, it doesn't cut deep like when Dante said it.

  Hunter’s tone is caring, loving and makes me feel like his arms are around me.

  "No!" I scream out, realising what that means.

  "Savannah, it's important we do this,” Doctor Rivnay points out.

  Violently I shake my head, screaming out, “No! I know who it was. What he did!”

  Doctor Rivnay appears shocked, "Oh so you can identify the perpetrator?"

  This is going to be incredibly difficult. I hate how he makes it seem like it isn't a big deal, and the word perpetrator is so clinical.

  Saying the words I need to are made even more difficult with Hunter sitting beside me still clutching my hand.

  “Yes, it was my husband Dante Haslett."

  Saying husband, saying his name makes my heart constrict in pain. The expression on Doctor Rivnay's face changes to concern again when he speaks, "I'm so sorry, Savannah. I'll get the nurse to check the wounds on your ankles and we will let you go with Mr Mackenney. Is that ok?"

  I nod a yes as I would have done anything to get out of the hospital again, except take the swab test for the police.

  Doctor Rivnay starts to slide the curtain back. “You will need to give an official statement about what happened but maybe tomorrow. Speak to Constable Mackenney."

  Hunter squeezes my hand.

  "Oh Savannah, I can't believe he did that to you. I'm so fucking angry at myself."

  "Don't be. It's not your fault. I don’t want to think about it.”

  “I know baby. Are you sure you’re ok?”

  “I can’t say it doesn’t hurt like hell, and yes I was terrified, but…” I pause sighing deeply.

  “Oh baby, I can’t stand seeing you like this. How can you block out the pain?”

  “Because I have to Hunter. I couldn’t even breathe if I didn’t block out everything from today or the past years.”

  “How are you so strong in the face of something so traumatic?”

  “Because I learnt to be. And in that car boot I blocked out the pain and thought about seeing you again. It was the only thing that made me hold on until Quentin found me.”

  He presses a kiss to my forehead, about to say something else when the nurse comes back in. She doesn’t say anything, just looks at me with genuine concern on her face as she dresses my ankles properly with tight bandages. The cuts are not deep enough for stitches but truly hurt like knives have been dragged across my skin.

  She hands me some clothes to wear, grabbing my discarded clothes from the floor and putting them in a plastic bag. I know what they were taking them for and feel glad there’s another way to test for DNA than swabbing me when I’m clearly bleeding and in obvious pain.

  I wave Hunter out of the room for the nurse to help me dress.

  “Ms, I think i’m bleeding, could I have some pads?”

  “Did the doctor not check for bleeding?”

  “No, I didn’t want him to.”

  “No worries, lovely. I understand, this must be very traumatic.”

  “Yeah,” I say softly, as she turns to the dr
awers on the other side of the room, handing me a packet of pads.

  “Take them all sweetie. And please look after yourself. Hunter will take care of you, so let him in.”

  I smile at the nurses sweet statement. I have no doubts that Hunter will look after me. He’s the complete opposite of Dante, and has a bit of a protector instinct that makes me feel safe with him.

  The nurse helps me dress, holding me up as I stand on my aching ankles. She helps me slip some new underwear on, sticking a pad onto it, before I slide the knickers up my legs.

  I’m definitely bleeding, and it seems a lot heavier than I would have thought given that I’d never bled any other time Dante had his way no matter how forceful he was. I shake the thoughts away when Hunter returns after I’ve dressed with a wheelchair for me.

  I don't deserve him. Why does he love me?

  It had felt so good to talk to him. It was the only good to thing to come out of the whole ordeal.

  He helps me into the wheelchair and we proceed out to the nurse station for discharge. I watch him as he signs the papers and the nurse hands him a jar of painkillers. Her instructions to him sound like mumbling and without realising I’m doing it I press a hand to my forehead to quell the pain of the headache that has surfaced.

  I really just want to go back to Hunters and collapse in his bed.

  I feel safe there.

  ~ ~

  Even though I’d just spoken to Hunter and now want to tell him everything I don't have the words.

  The silence in the ute on the way back to his farmhouse could have been stifling, but at the same time it isn't.

  Being in Hunter's presence makes me feel protected and I don't really want to think about the what if's, but I can't help but let my mind wander to them.

  What if had Hunter been in the supermarket with me? What if Quentin didn't come to rescue me?

  I shake my head to shake away the thoughts. It’s all too much to think about, making tears sting my eyes. The pain is overwhelming me, my ankles throbbing, cramps in my belly and the feeling as though blood is gushing out even though I know it isn’t.