Country Secrets

by Caz May

  At the front desk after the nurse had been in to change the dressings on his wounds, Hunter is filling out the discharge paperwork, holding the crutches under his arms to support himself.

  I stifle a yawn, and shake my head realising the nurse is talking to me, "Ms Galison? You will need to drive Mr Mackenney home."

  “Hmm,” I yawn, a hand over my mouth.

  "Is that ok?" She asks me.

  “Yes, yes that's fine,” I say stifling yet another yawn.

  "So how do we get home? My Ute isn't here,” Hunter says to the nurse.

  “Yes, it is actually. It's parked out the front. The Sergeant drove it over from the scene last week.”

  "Ok thanks,” He says taking my hand, squeezing it softly as he laces his fingers with mine.

  We walk out together, Hunter leaning into my side for support, struggling with the crutches.

  Just as the nurse had said his Ute is right out the front of the hospital.I help Hunter in, clicking his seatbelt and throwing the crutches in the back of the ute before I jump in the drivers seat.

  I can feel his eyes on me and I have to take a deep breath as I start the engine. I can do this. I’ve driven his stupid manual car before, but in trying to get my feet to cooperate I stall the engine.

  Hunter lets out a laugh, "Can't you drive a stick baby?" He teases.

  "I can drive a stick just fine,” I reply reaching over to touch between his thighs teasingly.

  "Oh really?" He taunts me, his delicious smile and dimples spreading across his face, "Well to be honest baby the key to driving a stick is to go slow."

  I withdraw my hand from between his thighs and start the engine again.

  This time I edge the pedals out slower and we bunny hop out of the hospital car park.

  Once out on the open road back towards the farm I crunch the gears when changing them. Hunter laughs again. “I'm sure you know how to drive a stick baby. I'm just teasing you."

  "It's not funny,” I spit back in a mocking tone.

  "It is a little bit."

  He laughs again, harder but cringes when the pain in his ribs surfaces.

  "How about some music?" I ask flicking the radio on.

  As soon as the sound from the speakers fills the car I’m the one to break into laughter, as Hunter begins singing the lyrics to 'The Fighter' at the top of his lungs, surprisingly in tune and it’s pretty damn hot.

  I can't help but sing along with him. The words are exactly us, our whole relationship summed up in song. He grabs my hand and presses a kiss to it and raising his eyebrows teasingly he taunts me even more when he licks his lips.

  "Stop Hunter. I'm trying to drive,” I protest meekly, not able to honestly hide the fact that I don’t enjoy his teasing.

  "Lucky we're almost home then,” He taunts again as we reach the farm gate.

  Leaving the engine running I jump out to open the gate before driving in slowly so I don’t have to change gears.

  Stopping just by the farmhouse verandah, I cut the engine and run back to shut the gate before helping Hunter out.

  He doesn’t even let me grab the crutches for him, immediately pushing my body against the side of the Ute and leans closer to me for support in staying upright.

  ”Thanks for getting me home in one piece.”

  He breathes against my face. I can feel the rise and fall of his breath against my chest that’s pinned against his and can see the longing in his eyes that are locked on mine.

  "Are you going to show me how well you can really drive a stick now baby?" He teases, not letting me reply before pressing a hungry kiss to my lips, and running his hands over my sides.

  His touch sets my insides on fire and I grab his hair between my fingers as I urge him to kiss me deeper. I want all of him, want to taste him and devour him.

  I’m certain now that nothing will stop me from opening up to him again. Laughing against his lips, I pull back from from his kiss, realising that we’re standing outside in the middle of the day, and I’m kissing him senseless.

  Even though there isn't another person for kilometres it fees illicit and intoxicating.

  “It’s hot out here,” I say with a teasing tone.

  "You don't say. That was a fucking hot as kiss Savannah."

  "I think it's time to take this inside.” I wink at him.

  He grabs my hand and drags me to the farmhouse, urgently, struggling to walk but desperate to be inside.

  He utters a greeting to Blitz before yanking the farmhouse door open, slamming it closed and pushing me against it.

  He clearly doesn’t need the crutches. Demandingly he presses his lips to mine in a kiss that is fierce and urgent like he will never kiss me again. The fire in my body is moving lower and I moan against his lips, feeling desperate for his lips to return to mine when he breaks our kiss. He speaks with lust in his voice, "Oh Savannah you drive me fucking wild."

  His hands are running up my sides, his callous hands on my skin setting me on fire, awakening every nerve and making me feel more alive than I have in years.

  "I want you Hunter."

  “Mmmm," he moans clutching the hem of my t-shirt in his hands. His eyes are locked on mine, even as he lifts the t-shirt over my head, only breaking contact for the moment the fabric covers my face.

  Kissing him hard I fumble with the buttons of his shirt, helping him slide it off his arms, my lips not leaving his.

  Pulling back from the kiss he whispers in my ear, “Bedroom. You. Now.”

  His tone is carnal, like Tarzan and it sends a delightful shiver through my body.

  With my hand laced with his and his body leaning against my side we head to the bedroom. He falls against the bed, pulling me down with him, kissing my lips lightly before kissing my neck and down my body.

  Standing up over him, I shimmy my skirt over my hips discarding it to the floor and straddle him in only my lacy underwear.

  His eyes are full of longing as he runs his hands down my sides, causing the fire to burn everywhere he touches. I love the way his hands feel on me, on my skin as he assesses the curve of my hips.

  "Savannah you're so fucking beautiful."

  I lean over him and kiss him in response. Against my stomach I can feel his desire increasing and desperately my hands edge down fumbling with his belt. Cupping my face in his hands he deepens the kiss for a moment before he pulls away and takes my hands with his.

  "Slow down baby. I don't think I'm up to it tonight."

  His words hurt a little, but he’s right. There is no rush. We have all the time in the world.

  "Sorry baby,” he apologises.

  "It's ok. I got a bit carried away,” I say, matching his apologetic tone.

  "You know I want to be with you more than anything, yeah?"

  "I know, we don't have to rush."

  "Come here,” he says patting the bed next to him. I crawl up the bed to lay down next to him and he wraps an arm around me, pressing a soft kiss to my forehead.

  We lay in silence for a moment, just listening to each others breathing. It’s perfect but a thought comes to mind and I have to break the silence.

  “I was thinking I should organise to officially change my name."

  He looks over at me, an almost worried look on his face.

  “Yeah maybe. What would you change it to?" he asks like he honestly has no idea at what I’m suggesting.

  Without a doubt I’m Savannah Galison with him, I always had been but I don't want even that to be my name anymore.

  "I was thinking maybe Savannah Mackenney,” I say with a hint of humour in my tone, hoping that he won't take my suggestion the wrong way.

  He smiles at me. “I like the sound of that but maybe not yet baby."

  My heart sinks at his response that feels like a stab to the heart.

  Does he really not want me and love me as much as I think? As much as he’s told me he does.

  I shake my head, not really sure what to say in response, so instead I kiss him quickl
y before closing my eyes to go to sleep.

  Despite his response, here with him is exactly where I’m supposed to be and I don't doubt that soon my name will be Savannah Mackenney. I’m absolutely sure of it.

  (48) Hunter

  I fucked up.

  I upset her.

  The moment the words left my mouth and she pressed a chaste goodnight kiss on my lips, I knew I hadn't given her the answer she wanted. I was truly taken aback that she feels that way towards me, that she wants to change her name to Mackenney. It’s more than her saying 'I love you'. It’s a complete declaration of her love and my response to her was idiotic because it isn't what I feel at all.

  I’m absolutely head over boots in love with her.

  Fuck, I'd run towards a maniac with a gun to save her life, I love her that much, but I’m scared, overwhelmed with everything that has happened in the short time I’ve known her.

  My fierce protector instincts kicked in from the moment I found her in the spare room that first day and guilt plagues me still for the choice I made to not go into the supermarket with her.

  Now watching her sleep, holding her close I know I have to let go of that guilt, plus also the guilt of the past and focus on the future.

  Guilt always got to me, and in the past it held me back, making my heart ache from the loss that always followed.

  It all stemmed back to the day of my grandfather's death, his murder. I'd been too busy flirting with Addison, playing around out in the paddocks and I wasn't there to protect him.

  Granted it shouldn't have been my job to protect him, but with my father out droving and my Mum in the farmhouse with him and Quentin I should have been there, as the oldest son it was my job when my father was away to protect my younger brother.

  Mum can't even say the word 'killed' now, it’s an unspoken word. Quentin still has nightmares from what he saw that day, but he never speaks of them and it breaks my heart a little for him.

  When I'd thought Dante had killed Savannah, that was when the true guilt hit me, like all the guilt from my past collided with my present.

  I have to make it right, to right all the wrong of my past, all the wrong that Addison brought into my life.

  I don't hate her, I couldn’t ever but she turned my world upside down in the wrong way.

  I'd been so blind for years, even when we were together to how toxic our relationship really was and I can't even bear to think about my life if I'd married her. I honestly don't think she even knows the full story, yes, part of our breakup was her vindictiveness towards my choice to stay on the farm after Dad got sick, but I’ve never told her the whole truth.

  I don't know if i'll ever to be able to tell her what her family did to mine, as I only knew part of the story myself.

  Savannah grunts in her sleep. I don't want to wake her but I need some air as the thoughts of the past are becoming all consuming and I’m suddenly feeling even more guilty for not sharing my past with her, just like she'd openly shared hers with me.

  Carefully grabbing her arm from over me, trying to not wake her I roll out of the bed, tiptoeing down the hallway, stumbling a little on my feet to go and sit on the verandah seat.

  Blitz gives me puppy dog eyes, questioning my erratic behaviour since we'd come home earlier.

  Something has definitely shifted between Savannah and I, the longing and need between us is becoming more urgent and consuming.

  Being a hot blooded male I can't deny I’ve loved every kiss and touch we've shared but I feel like we’re moving to fast.

  Dante has not even been gone for forty-eight hours and she wants to change her name, it just seemed like all to much and I can’t quell the feeling of being in too deep, that the desperate consuming love I’m feeling for her is to good to be true.

  Running my hands through my hair I curse out loud causing Blitz to look up at me and give me a stink eye look.

  "Sorry buddy, I've fucked up."

  He turns his head, looking at me, searching my face for answers.

  "I love her buddy, but I can't marry her, can I?"

  God, whats wrong with me? I'm asking my fucking dog for advice.

  I have to tell Savannah the truth about the past, the reason for my reaction. If I want to make her realise how much I love her and to be open to correcting my stupid comment, I need to open up and be open to actually making her mine completely.

  I know I also have to tell Addison the truth about what I know about our families past in the hope it will take the guilt away, to make her see that no matter what she might think there is no way I can ever be with her.

  Even though I’d desperately loved her to the point of asking her to marry me, we were never meant to be. Our families were never meant to be united.

  It’s uncanny that the present always makes you realise how the secrets of your past could hold you back from opening up to your future and as though my future knows exactly that, the door creaks open.

  Turning towards the door I find Savannah standing in the door jam, in her underwear, rubbing her eyes sleepily.

  She looks absolutely breathtakingly beautiful and my heart skips, looking at the hurt still present in her eyes from my stupid comment.

  "Hey baby, come sit with me. We need to talk.”

  (49) Savannah

  Waking up in the dark in Hunter's bed I panic when he isn't lying beside me.

  For a moment I think that the past days with him have all been some crazy dream, that it isn’t real that Dante is gone.

  That I'd practically thrown myself at Hunter, making out with him like a desperate school girl, a love drunk fool.

  But when I pinch my arm I’m very much awake and I know it isn't a dream.

  The way my body feels on fire and is aching for Hunter also tells me that the kisses we've shared are definitely not in my head. There’s no way my mind could make me feel the desperate hunger and need I feel for Hunter. I do know one thing that has me scared though, that I’d stupidly told him I want to be 'Savannah Mackenney’.

  I'd practically proposed to him without actually asking the question directly and he rejected me. It didn't seem like him at all, his reaction so unloving, it gave me a sense that something is bothering him or he’s hiding something from me.

  Getting out of the bed I stumble through the house in the dark to find him.

  He’s nowhere to be seen inside and it crosses my mind that maybe he'd gone out droving without telling me, but his hat is still hanging on the hallway stand, his boots still by the door and he never leaves without those.

  Still wondering, I open the door to see if Blitz is around.

  It creaks when I open it and I’m shocked to find Hunter sitting on the love seat only in his jeans.

  He looks up at me and his face is full of pain.My heart constricts when he speaks softly, "Hey baby, come sit with me. We need to talk."

  What good ever came from those words? He’s going to break up with me, he’s going to rip my heart out. How could I have been so stupid? I knew this was going to happen.

  I go to sit beside him, and he reaches out to put his arm around me trying to pull me closer but I shrug him off.

  "Don't touch me Hunter,” I spit at him angrily.

  "Oh Savannah, please I'm sorry ok,” he says, sadness evident in his tone.

  "Just say it Hunter. You don't want me. You don't love me.”

  Standing up, he balls his hands into fists showing me he’s angry at my words.

  “How can you fucking think I don't love you? I never said that."

  I bite down on my lip, not knowing what to say to him.

  "You...you said that I shouldn't change my name to Mackenney,” I say, feeling as though I’m about to burst into tears.

  "Yes, and I meant it, but not for the reason you're thinking Savannah."

  "So you do want to be with me?"

  "Of course I do Savannah. I fucking love you."

  "But?"

  He sits back down, not meeting my eyes, his head in hi
s hands.

  "You might not want to be a Mackenney when I tell you the truth."

  I lift his chin with my finger, pressing a kiss to his forehead.

  “I highly doubt that Hunter."

  I can see tears stinging his eyes, the obvious pain of a secret that’s plaguing him.

  "Hunter, please talk to me,” I coerce.

  He grabs me almost forcefully, pulling me against his chest, his breathing deep and almost tortuous.

  "The obstetrician, Addison, you know she's my ex-girlfriend yeah?"

  “Yes, but what's she got to do with this?"

  "Her grandfather did a terrible thing when we were younger."

  "Hunter what are you saying?"

  "He killed my grandfather Savannah."

  My mouth is agape, as the shock of his words hit me. I have no idea what I can do to offer him comfort, so instead I just wait a moment until he speaks again.

  "I..I was out in the back paddock with Addison, fooling around...and Dad was out droving..” he pauses, his face constricting like it’s painful to tell the story.

  I squeeze his arm in comfort.

  "And he came into the farmhouse screaming something about my Dad and his daughter."

  "I don't understand."

  “I...I don't know much...I just know it was him. My grandfather was at the kitchen table and he shot him fatally straight between his eyes."

  Instinctively I place my hand over the bullet wound on his chest, as he draws in breath thinking about how he could have met the same fate at the hands of Dante.

  "But you and Addison were still together after this?"

  "She doesn't know. Her grandfather didn't mean to kill mine. He was after my Dad."

  "Oh Hunter, and after this your Dad fell ill?"

  "Yeah. It was all kind of swept under the rug. I don't even think my Mum knows the real reason he killed him."