Divided

by Kaesey Stobaugh

  Nate is already many steps ahead of me. He jerks me to one side so hard that I bite down on my tongue. I swallow a mouthful of blood as he grabs Mia’s arm with his free hand, shoving us both towards the ladder. All I can think about is my swollen tongue.

  “Go, Willa! Climb!” His shriek tightens my stomach, causing my breath to catch. I can spell out the panic with each word.

  Just as I ascend the first rung, my feet slipping twice before gripping the notch, the noise makes itself known. Soldiers, dozens and dozens of soldiers, come streaming out from all sides of the clearing like roaches. They surround us, our backs against The Wall. My hands automatically wind around Nate’s arm, clinging to him in a passive way. I won’t let them take him from me. I can’t let him move from my reach. I won’t lose him.

  A tall young man with the darkest hair I’ve ever seen and a pale angular face steps forward. The way he moves makes me want to hit him, and I’m not really sure why. Maybe it’s the attitude in his strides, like he doesn’t care to be here, he could be doing something more important. He certainly doesn’t care that he just ruined our lives.

  “Don’t any of you make another move or we’ll shoot!” He calls, his thick voice echoing through the wood.

  Nate looks absolutely ferocious but he stays where he is. I can barely think. What just happened? After all our planning, waiting, and dreaming could we have really been brought to a sudden and permanent halt just like that?

  I don’t know what we’ll do now, but I know what we won’t be doing. We won’t be escaping. We won’t have our freedom.

  “I’m so sorry, Willa.” Nate’s voice is only a whisper, an echo. It makes me shiver, and a terrifying feeling creeps in, like that may be the last time I ever hear his voice speaking my name.

  Chapter Thirty-Nine

  Nathan

  Night fell too quickly, the way I knew it would. I’m sitting on our log, waiting. It’s only been fifteen minutes but that doesn’t sooth the worried thoughts. What if she was caught sneaking out? What if she changed her mind? What if she’s having troubles with supplies? What if she got lost in the woods? What if she’s sick again? What if she decided she can’t bear to leave? My mind races with all the possibilities. I try to calm myself with different thoughts. I think about my day and how hard it was leaving. How hard it was walking down the dirt road for the last time. How hard it was lying down to sleep in my room for the last time. How hard it was walking away from everything I’ve known. How hard it was saying goodbye to my sisters and Gabe.

  I had spent a few hours playing with Gabby and Cinda. I took them on a walk and let them talk about whatever pleased them. I know Gabby could tell something was wrong just by my actions. She had asked me if I was okay and asked why I looked so sad and kept hugging the two of them. That’s something I’m always gonna miss…Gabby’s concern over me. She’s always been the one to notice when something was off with me. I’m going to miss her. And Cinda, that crazy little kid. A day will never pass when I don’t miss her happiness and joy, when I don’t miss her humor and the ability to change my mood with a simple smile. A day will never pass when I don’t miss her. I also kept my promise and showed Gabe how to clean his catches. I talked to him, asked him to take care of the girls no matter what happens to me. He agreed, of course, and really seemed to understand that I wasn’t going to be around much longer. I had a connection with him for the first time today. I know he has grown so much just by that one night. In a way, I feel like I left him a stronger boy and there’s no doubt in my mind that in a very short time he will grow into a brave man. I just wish I was there to see it. I love those kids with everything in me…but I’m ready to move on. I’m ready for a change. I’m ready for Willa and the path that we’ve chosen.

  I bend over to dig around in one of the four back packs I brought along until I pull out the necklace I bought for Willa in town. I looks better in the moon light than in the sun. The different colors of blue shine and sparkle as I rotate it in my hand. I wrap it up in a piece of cloth and shove it in my pocket.

  My heart stops –in a good way– when I hear the sound of my angel breaking her way through the thicket. I stand and wait for her to appear. When she’s finally visible, I can tell she’s hurting. I knew this was going to be hard on her but I didn’t think she’d be on the verge of a breakdown. She’s staring at the ground as she enters the clearing and before she can really look up, she’s in my arms. I wrap her up tight, keeping her safe inside me. It seems like forever ago when we first met. I remember her begging me to leave with her and never believing I’d really do it. But I’m glad I did. Everything is perfect. She is perfect.

  I release her only to kiss her hello. She seems better now. She smiles her beautiful smile as she stares at me.

  “What now?” I ask with a content smile.

  “We have to wait for Mia. I need to say goodbye.” I nod. I was hoping Mia would tag along to see Willa off. It might make it easier for her. Plus, I have come to like Mia now that I’ve figured her out.

  “But let’s take our first step together.” I announce, as I take both our bags.

  I cross the clearing with her following close behind. I scale the ladder and carefully dump all our supplies over The Wall, watching where they fall. I spot my shotgun leaning against the fallen tree on the other side where our bags fall. I didn’t want to carry it over for fear that I might scare her with it. I’ll strap it over my shoulder when we’re up and over on my side, walking in the opposite direction of my home.

  When I turn back to Willa, tears are running down her face even though she’s laughing with anticipation. This is the perfect time, I think. With a few long sweeps, I’m at her side, wiping the tears from her face.

  “Here,” I say as I pull at the cloth that the necklace is wrapped in and put it in her hand.

  I watch as her face lights up and her eyes melt. She tells me she loves it. She admires it and holds it gently, like she would crush it if she tightened her fingers a bit.

  “It’s perfect. Thank you.” She says as she kisses me again. Like every other time she’s given me the privilege of holding her, it’s flawless and perfect until she pulls away to look behind her.

  Mia appears out of the darkness and walks to us so calmly and evenly it looks like her movements are rehearsed. But once I see her face clearly, I can tell she’s been crying.

  “Just tell me again that this is really what you want.” Her voice is shaking as she reaches for Willa’s hands. I force myself to disappear into the shadows again, giving her and Willa their time and space.

  “It is.” Willa replies plainly.

  She nods, staring at her for half a second longer before she turns to me, “It’s all up to you now. I’ll never know if something happens to her after this but I can trust that you’ll make sure nothing will?”

  I smile, leaping out of the shadows, “I’ll protect her with my life.” Glancing at Willa, I watch her blush.

  Then Willa and Mia embrace each other for the last time. I wonder again if taking Willa away from her home is really good for her and I have to remind myself that this is what she wants, what we both want. We’ve come too far to chicken out now.

  Willa releases Mia and takes two steps backwards, right back to me. Once she’s close enough, I put my hand back where it belongs; in Willa’s. Mia encourages us to take off, get a head start before Willa’s parents learn she’s missing and the forest is filled with soldiers. I know she’s right but once it’s time to leave, I can’t help but feel nervous and, in a way, afraid. Willa looks the same. I give her hand a gentle tug. She smiles at me and I return it. Slowly, we turn for the ladder and take the first step towards our fate. Here we go, I think, it’s happening. It’s finally happening. I’ll never again have to watch Willa leave me in the forest. I’ll never again have to worry about whether or not she’s okay and safe. I’ll never have to let her out of my sight again. She’s mine now.

  Suddenly, a tiny noise interrupts my thoughts. Willa hea
rs it too. We both freeze. It sounds like footsteps, quiet, stalking footsteps. The same footsteps I’ve made many times before in the forest when I’m hunting. The kind of creeping, haunting little noises I make when I’ve been watching and following a naïve animal. The footsteps I form once I have my unsuspected prey cornered. Once I know for sure I have a perfect kill shot. Kill shot… Kill shot!

  Without giving it another thought, I lunge forward, grabbing Mia by the arm and pushing both her and Willa to the ladder.

  “Go, Willa! Climb!” I order, surprised by how my voice echoes off the empty trees.

  She freezes as she stumbles back, running into the ladder. She quickly comes to and goes for the first step, but I know it’s too late. The prey was naïve, the hunters had their kill shot, and they fired.

  Before I can think of another escape route, they make themselves known. Dozens of soldiers come bleeding out of the darkness from every side. I leap back, pushing Willa against The Wall, Mia at her side. I feel Willa wrap her arm around mine, with her hand still locked in my other. Her fingernails dig into the veins of my bicep, causing a shiver of fear to run down my spine.

  A tall man comes out of the forest then, right in front of us. He doesn’t look like a soldier, but a leader. His jet black hair is slicked back with grease, his tight skin pale as I’ve ever seen. It almost looks like his face has never met the sun, so white, it doesn’t look healthy. His limbs are flimsy but his posture is perfect. Straight and lean, it’s obvious he’s no fighter. Nonetheless, his eyes are triumphal and his wicked smile seems to be dripping with blood. Just the sight of him makes me want to vomit; vomit and then punch him.

  “Don’t any of you make another move or we’ll shoot!” He shouts it at us with enough force that causes my heart to skip a beat. Still, something in his voice makes me believe otherwise.

  His threat and the fact that Willa and I are both screwed, it makes me defensive. Red rage is the only color I can see in.

  “I’m so sorry, Willa.” I whisper softly, so softly that it’s only barely heard in my own ears. I’m not even sure if she heard me until I feel her cling to me a little tighter.

  Mia pushes away from my shield over them to stand by my side. I feel Willa try to do the same, pushing forward to stand by my other side. I tighten my grip on her, keeping her hidden behind me. Once she realizes there’s no way I’m letting her out of my block, she gives up the fight. Whether that’s for her sake or mine, I’m not sure.

  The leader lets out a humorless laugh that quickly switches back to his victorious glare, “You should have stayed out of this mess your friends have created, Amelia Burnett. Now we have to dispose of you too.”

  Wait, how does he know her name? Have they met before? I risk letting the invaders out of my sight to glance questioningly at Mia’s face. She seems just as surprised by the remark as I am, even while she takes another few steps forward. She jerks away again when I try catching her by the arm. Stubborn, Burnett.

  “Please, just listen to me!” She shouts, as if they couldn’t hear her any other way, “They didn’t know what they were doing!”

  “Would someone take care of that?” He orders in a voice of annoyance.

  Red flags rise in my vision, even though I don’t understand what he means at first. It isn’t until I spot a soldier to his right step up, lifting his gun…aimed for Mia.

  “Willa, get down!” The words are unconscious as they escape my mouth in the same instant I’ve lunged myself forward, tackling Mia to the ground. As the next second that ticks by, the weapon fires twice. The sound of the blast echoes through the forest, followed by a shriek from both Mia and Willa. Assuming Mia’s okay, I jump to my feet. It’s begun.

  Two soldiers charge us, weapons at bay. This is it.

  My goals: keep them away from Willa and Mia: stay alive.

  When the first one reaches me, I surprise myself by my force. With one quick swing, my punch connects, sending the soldier to the ground. He’s not out. The other approaches, though I’m only aware of that due to the elbow thrown into the side of my head. I plunge my left shoulder into his gut, flipping him from his feet and onto his back.

  Suddenly, I’m on top of him, punching him over and over in the face and jaw. I never knew I had this sort of strength, and horrifically, as the shock of adrenaline wears off, so does the will to fight. I can feel him getting weaker though. I watch numbly as his eyes slowly roll back into his skull with each punch. Blood now runs from his nose and mouth. I’ve just killed someone.

  I can’t give it much thought though. I punch again, again, again, again, harder each time. I have to stop for a second, grunting and giving my wrist a quick shake before hitting him a final time. I reach for his gun, flipping it upside down and bolting it into his throat with all my might. He’s gone.

  I suppose all this has happened within a couple seconds, but I can’t be sure. My spirit is dying too quickly. I stare down at the bloodshot face. Who was he before? Where did he live? Who did he love? I didn’t want to kill him, did I? Did I even care a moment ago?

  I make a mistake, forgetting about the second one until he’s on top of me. The blow stings when he swings the butt of his weapon, connecting directing with the back of my head, but surprisingly, it didn’t hurt as much as I briefly expected. It does send me to the ground though, where I’m forced to eat a mouthful of dirt. I whip my legs around with all my might, flipping him right off his feet and landing him on his back. With the wind now knocked out of him, I see an opportunity by swiping his weapon and using his same strategy. Using pure will power, I assault him with it. He erupts with pain, cursing and screaming profanities at me with the fury of the devil on his side. I then find the ending point. Beating him in the head does the trick. Once. Twice. Dead.

  Now my head is throbbing and everything starts to spin. I can feel blood running down one side of my face, hot and sticky as it drips down the collar of my shirt. The hit I took is starting to react. I stumble, my legs wobbly under my body.

  I risk turning away from the intruders and their snake like leader –who seems to be sending more fighters my way– to assure myself that both Willa and Mia haven’t been approached. I swing my body towards them, gripping my knees with both hands to keep from falling forward. Locking eyes with Willa instantly, she gazes at me in shock and horror. I hold her gaze for what feels like a long time. What does she think of me now? Does she still think I’m worth the sacrifice? Does she still love me from the inside out?

  Before I can really register anything, or even give Willa and Mia some kind of word of warning, three more soldiers come at me. I watch as they charge. Think, Nathan, I tell myself, you gotta think about it.

  One reaches me, gun raised in an attempt to assault me with it. I put some force into my impact, throwing myself into the soldier closest to me. Kicking him once in the gut with the heel of my boot, he somehow gets around me, or maybe there was another one behind me. He sends me spiraling back with a brick for a fist to the jaw. Another blow to the chest and I’m on my back.

  These guys are made of steel! Their thick facial skin already has my knuckles bleeding from the first one I killed. They’re all so hard and sickly. It’s like their faces are complete masks. I’m not even picking up on any kind of personal appearance traits. They all look exactly the same, as if even their faces have been dissected to match. No emotion, no pain, no guilt, nothing.

  I start spitting up blood then. I can feel it running down the corners of my mouth. All I see is red. Burning red. I feel myself becoming weaker, my eyes rolling back. You’re done, Nate, I hear a voice in the back of my ears, you tried, but you’re done. She’s going to have to understand that.

  Through the ringing in my ears, my blackening hearing picks up something bloodcurdling. I turn my head as much as I can to the right. Mia is on the ground, two soldiers lifting her up and heading for the woods. Willa is still up against The Wall, watching as the soldiers ascend to her next. She looks brave, even as the tears roll down her
cheeks. Her eyes are on me. She makes no effort to escape the nightmare in front of us. She knows there’s no point. We’ve already lost.

  I find my second wind. Staggering to my feet, everything is scarily starting to leave me as my vision spots and spins. I can still make Willa out though. She still doesn’t move towards me. She only watches my face. That’s all we have left to do.

  “Careful, now!” I hear a voice from somewhere faraway, “I need them both alive!”

  Before I can think, I’m struck again in the back, sending me to the ground.

  “Nathan!” I hear a lovey voice cry. I look up just in time to see her get punched in the face and fall to the ground. My heart stops. I leap up again only to get hit again. I let out another cry.

  “Stay down, you fool!” The threat from the soldier is only slightly heard.

  I watch in blurry understanding as my helpless Willa is carried away. Anger fills up inside of me again. I make another stupid move; getting up. The same result; getting struck down. Now I can’t move. My whole body throbs with pain. I feel hot, thick blood running down every part of me. The smell is numbing.

  Suddenly, it’s quiet. I’m alone…I think. Have they left me for dead? I hope so. Now everything is white with patches of red. I try to talk, to beg, to cry. Where’s Willa? Where is she? What have they done to her? How could this happen? How could I let this happen? Why her? Why couldn’t they kill me and leave her alone?

  Every beautiful moment is playing back to me like a screening. It’s like a kaleidoscope of memories coming back. My sisters, my brother, my parents, and her.

  I hear myself breathing heavily. Heavy turns to panting and panting turns to gagging. I can’t breathe. I can’t move. I can’t hear. I can’t see. I can’t feel.

  Everything’s white now. No more red. That must mean the dying process is over. Now I’m dead. That wasn’t so bad. Easier than I thought it would be. Easy, but miserable.