by V. Vaughn
She gives me a skeptical look, but I think I’ve got her. “C’mon. You aren’t going to deny us fun, are you? You know your bunny will love it.”
She’s still hesitant, and I don’t blame her. Shifting together is intimate and requires trust. Especially when one is a vulnerable bunny. Trust isn’t something she’s willing to give me yet. But I try to convince her just the same.
“Look, I don’t have any expectations, Hillary. I just want to shift with a friend and play around in the woods.”
Finally, she nods.
I let out a, “Yes!”
She grins. “Just friends, Alec. Now maybe my bunny will shut up. Let me go get my things.”
As I move toward the front door, I recall how rambunctious her bunny can be. Hillary walks back to the kitchen, passing her co-worker along the way. I recognize Mandy from when Hillary and I came to the diner when we were in school.
I smile at her, and she comes over to me.
She gives me a serious stare. “I haven’t had a chance to say hello since you came home,” she says. “I’m Mandy. I’m not sure if you remember me.”
“I do remember. You used to give Hillary and me free pie on Sundays.”
She chuckles, but there’s a bite to it. “Oh yeah, I forgot about that.”
“The best pie in Wyoming.”
“I’ll have to tell Tony you said that.” She scans me with her gaze, making me think she’s got something she needs to say, and I can practically feel her motherly protector vibe radiate toward me. “You be careful with Hillary. Don’t go breaking her heart again.”
“I won’t. You have my word on that. I just want to be with her, however that happens.”
Her eyes narrow, then she nods. “All right.”
Hillary returns, and she looks from me to Mandy. “Something I need to worry about?” she asks.
Mandy shakes her head and slaps me on the back. “Nope. Just telling Alec how good it is to see him again. He’s been gone too long.”
Hillary looks at me, and I nod. “Yes.” But she doesn’t appear convinced.
As we walk to the door together, Mandy waves at us, but as soon as Hillary’s back is turned, Mandy points at her eyes, then at me. I’m watching you.
When we’re outside, I think about how Hillary is giving me a little of her trust, which can’t be an easy thing. I try to smooth the way as much as possible for her. “Do you want to go back to your place, since you back up to the woods?”
“Sure. Honestly, it’s been a while since I’ve gone bouncing through the woods. I think the last time I did I was with my friend Lexi at the falls. I slipped on the rocks and fell into the stream.”
The thought of her ever being injured fills me with dread. My bear rages at the very idea. “Were you okay?”
“Oh yeah, I was fine. Lexi dove in and saved me. I got my stupid big bunny foot stuck in some rocks.” She chuckles.
I try to laugh with her, but it’s like a lump in my throat. I know she’s okay, obviously, since she’s walking next to me unhurt, but just the mere thought of her in trouble and distress makes my stomach roil.
I don’t know what I’d do if Hillary got hurt. Over the time we were together, she gave me a few scares when her bunny would try to keep up with my bear, but I was there to protect her, to watch out for her. The big bear watching over his sweet little bunny. And she let me.
Guilt fills me, because where was that big bear when she almost drowned? “Well, thank god your friend was with you.”
“Yeah, she’s great. I’m sure you’ll meet her someday. She just married Tristan. Do you remember him?”
“I do. He’s Bruce’s best friend.”
She smiles up at me. “Right. You should’ve seen Bruce at Tristan’s wedding.” She laughs now. “He looked so uncomfortable in a suit.”
I laugh too. “I can imagine. Bruce is only comfortable in jeans and flannel.”
We’re talking easily, and it’s nice. This is a small step toward rebuilding our relationship. And I have hope that shifting together will take us even further.
Chapter 17
HILLARY
The walk to my place is only four blocks from the diner, and I live near a large copse of trees that eventually leads to the woods that surround the town. My stomach is in knots, while my bunny is ecstatic. She can’t wait to shift and to play with Alec’s bear again.
Am I really going to do this? Shifting with him says I trust him again, at least on some level, and I’m not sure I do. But it’s too late to go back. I’m past the point of no return.
Maybe I always was.
When we arrive, my hands shake as I invite him in. I’m not sure why, it’s not like we haven’t done this before. Letting him into my space feels intimate, though, and as I lead him through the house to the back he looks around, taking in who I am now based on my things. The photos on my walls, the mess in my living room, and the dishes in my sink. His lips twitch up into a small smile as he touches the bear-shaped salt and pepper shakers on the table. They were a gift from him on Christmas years ago, and I never got rid of them. They’re great salt and pepper shakers.
I open the back door and we go out onto the lawn. And now my stomach clenches because we both need to undress to shift. I do it because I don’t like to get buried inside my clothes when I shrink down into a two-pound fluff of white fur. Alec needs to so he doesn’t rip apart his clothes when he grows in size.
Even though we’ve been naked together before—many times—I feel shy about undressing in front of him, and I wonder if maybe I should just let my clothes swallow me up as a rabbit and figure a way out. But that would be foolish, and Alec would know exactly why I did it. Quickly, I pull off my shirt and toss it to the side, then my bra. I keep my back to him as I undo my pants and take them off along with my underwear. Curious I peer over my shoulder as he undresses too.
Oh man. Here we go.
He’s not the least bit shy. His shirt comes off, and I marvel at the way his muscles ripple as he moves. I’ve always found him sexy, but he has definitely improved with age. Football has been kind to that physique of his.
It’s not fair how time seems to be kinder to men. They get more attractive, while women just… age.
I shake my head at myself, because the way Alec is looking at me tells me he doesn’t mind. At all. With his gaze locked on mine, he shucks his pants and stands there buck naked. Beautiful and divine.
I’m embarrassed by the way I’m gawking, and I turn back around to try to control my raging hormones. I think about our kiss the other day, and I heat up as I want a repeat performance. To kiss him. Touch him. Move over him. Under him.
I take a deep breath as my insides tremble with need. Jeez! I need a cold shower, or my bunny needs to jump into a cold pond.
Do it! Kiss him!
“No. Shut up!”
Alec chuckles. “Did you say something?”
I blush.
“Nope. Nothing. Now, are we shifting or what?” I ask as I crouch down on the grass, curling up to cover my nude body and to force the shift. It’s quick for me. It always has been. Probably because I’m so small, and it doesn’t take as much energy to shrink as it does to grow big.
Now a bundle of white fluff, I rise onto my hind legs and sniff the air, unable to stop my tail from twitching. I shake to get comfortable in my fur and with my animal form.
I hop around, ecstatic to be a bunny again. Everything is easier, less complicated, and being free to hop brings me joy. Sometimes it feels more normal to be a bunny than it does being a human. I try not dwell on that, though because it can be dangerous to get into the mindset.
I bounce over to Alec as he gets down on the ground to get ready to shift. He laughs as I hop on his bare foot and then hop away when he tries to pet me. It’s a game we’ve played before.
While I watch him shift, I notice his knee seems to cause him discomfort. When his back legs twist and reform, he lets out a little grunt. And when he’s finally a bear,
my bunny bounces up and down in place with her happiness.
I hop over to sniff him. He sniffs me back, and I think I see happiness in those big brown eyes of his.
I take off into the trees, and Alec lopes behind me. He could easily overtake me, but he decides to let me lead this adventure. It could be that his knee is bothering him and he couldn’t run any faster even if he wanted to. The thought makes me sad to imagine he’s suffering even in his bear form.
When we reach the meadow, Alec flops down in the tall grass and rolls around on his back. His joy matches mine as I wait for him to be still so I can hop onto him. I thump my back foot impatiently. When he tries to swat at me with his huge paw I leap up onto his back and onto his head. He makes a chuffing noise of laughter.
When Alec rolls to his feet and lumbers back into the woods, I follow with a good idea of where he’s leading me. It used to be our favorite spot to go together.
I spring after him, excited to go, and it’s not long before we come out of the trees and to a small waterfall with a hot spring below it. In the past, this was where we’d skinny dip as well. The water is always warm and soothing, and as naked teens we’d spend hours making out and exploring each other’s bodies.
Alec lays on the ground and shifts back to his human form. His skin is slick with sweat, and I can see the strain of it on his face, making me pretty sure it hurts his knee, but he masks it with a big grin.
“Want to go skinny dipping like we used to?” He asks as he walks to the edge of the pool and slowly lowers himself into the water.
I do. I’ve been having so much fun with him and his bear that I want to keep it going. As night approaches, a full moon already hangs overhead. And it reminds me of the good times we used to share. Sexy, romantic times that fill me with nostalgia as I think about them.
I probably shouldn’t, but I shift to my human form anyway to join him in the spring. The heat of the water seeps into my muscles, relaxing me, and I let out a sigh as if my troubles are washed away. The reservations I have about Alec seem to dissolve too.
Alec splashes at me, and when it hits me in the face, it’s as if we’re back in high school.
I glare at him, but I’m not mad. I’m in a playful mood. “You’re going to regret that.” I drag my arm through the water in a sweeping motion to cause a wave that splashes him back.
Instead of retaliating, Alec pulls me into his arms. My bare breasts press against his firm chest, and my breath catches in my throat. My body heats up in response to the touch of his skin, and my nipples harden with the desire that burns in me. He looks deep in my eyes.
Alec lets out a whoosh of air. “God, I’ve missed you.” He leans in and buries his nose into the side of my neck, inhaling me as one of his hands cradles the back of my head and the other clutches me around the waist to hold on tight. “Not a single day went by that I didn’t think of you. I was a fool to have walked away from you.”
“I—” I almost tell him it’s been the same for me too. But I can’t. I can’t keep the sliver of fear away, even if my physical need for Alec nearly overwhelms me. So much so that I don’t stop him when his mouth covers mine.
I not only let him kiss me, but I kiss him back, with the passion of yesterday as well as today. I want it just as much as he does, and I realize it’s time to stop denying the truth.
Chapter 18
ALEC
I can’t believe Hillary’s actually in my arms again. Her naked body pressed against mine as we kiss makes my heart sing with more than passion and pleasure. It’s like she’s a piece of me that’s been missing and we’ve finally clicked into place.
I feel like I’m being swept up into a dream. One that I’ve had many times over the years. She’s so soft, sweet, and sexy. Everything I remembered about being with her is only a hint of what I’m experiencing right now. This woman stole my heart in ninth grade, and it’s been hers all along.
Our kiss sends pleasure zinging through me like electricity, a bolt of lightning striking an expanse of unsuspecting ground. I let my hands roam across her waist and hips, reveling in the silkiness of her skin. I feather my fingers down one hip, and over the swell of her ass. The touch coaxes a small gasp from her mouth, and I tilt my head and deepen the kiss, sweeping my tongue over hers.
When I stroke the underside of her breast, she lets out a little mewl of pleasure and I want to hear more. To hear her panting and her cries when I bring her over the edge.
Hillary’s heart pounds beneath her chest as I tease her with my soft strokes, too afraid to go further. There is no mistaking the scent of her desire in the air. It’s intoxicating to me as a human and addicting for my bear. I move my hand up closer to her nipple, but she suddenly pulls away. She leans up against the side of the pool as her chest heaves with her breathing. Like a skittish little bunny.
I’m gasping for air too as I move back to give her more space. I’m so stupid. I moved too fast and scared her away.
“I’m sorry,” she says. “I shouldn’t have let it go as far as it did.”
“I would’ve stopped the second you asked me to,” I say, feeling like a bit of an asshole for pushing at all.
“I know. This is on me. Don’t worry about it.” She lifts herself out of the hot springs and sits on the edge. Her pink nipples are still hard, now likely from the cool air on her wet skin. “I got caught up in memories of the past, but it won’t happen again. It can’t,” she says as if she’s trying to convince herself more than me.
I move closer to her. I can’t help myself. I feel her pulling away from me, and I don’t want that to happen. Not after having her in my arms again. “Why not? Why can’t it happen again?”
“Because you’re talking about leaving again, Alec. We’ve been over this.”
I frown, wondering how she got that from anything we did today. “I don’t understand. I never said I was leaving.”
“Coaching? You said you were thinking about it, and the last time I checked, we didn’t have an NFL team in Heartland.”
I shake my head and move closer to put my hand on her knee. “You and I were exploring options. I haven’t made any plans to leave. I don’t even know what I’m going to do tomorrow.”
She bites down on her lower lip. I wonder if it’s to keep from crying. The very thought burns, a smolder way down deep inside of me, and I want to hold her and make it go away.
“I can’t go on the rollercoaster of falling in love with you, Alec, just to have you leave me again. I just can’t do it. I won’t.”
Before I can say anything, she swings her legs out of the pool and shifts into her bunny. It’s so quick she’s just a white blur. I forgot how fast she could move. Place her on a football field in her bunny form and she’d kick Tom Brady’s ass ten ways to Sunday. Maybe mine too, but let’s not get crazy.
“Hillary, wait!” I reach for her, but she hops away before I can touch her.
I want to chase her, but a bear chasing a bunny isn’t fair. And it’s a horrible thing to do to her. Fight or flight—it will stimulate her natural impulses and make her run even faster. In fear.
Dejected, I sink into the hot water. My heart aches as if it’s cracking in two. We were so close to reconnecting, and then it was gone again. Dissipated like fog in the morning sunshine. Maybe I can’t fix our relationship. Maybe it really is broken, never to be pieced back together.
Sighing, I lean my head back against the edge of the pool. I can still taste her on my lips and feel her body pressing against mine. I pound my fist into my palm. Damn it! Why did I have to push her past a kiss?
Because she’s impossible to resist, my bear says. It’s true.
But not impossible to leave. I think back to when I got the call about my draft pick to Florida. Hillary was with me. It was on a Friday afternoon a few days before our high school graduation, and we were at the diner getting burgers. My cell phone rang, I answered it, and it was the assistant coach of the Dolphins. He told me I was on their list and that training c
amp would start in two weeks.
I remember being stunned, and when I told Hillary she was so happy for me. She even cried and hugged me. She told me how proud she was of me. I had worked hard for it. And she’d been at my side cheering me on the entire time.
We drove back to my place, and she was there holding my hand when I told my brother. There was a lot of celebrating that night, and Hillary had laughed and cheered and never once was anything other than excited for me.
As the day I was scheduled to leave neared, I could feel her pulling away. There were fewer smiles and hugs, and less celebration. I can’t remember if I ever asked her why or what was going on. I was so absorbed in my own happiness about this amazing thing that was happening to me I couldn’t see the signs. I remember being angry that she was being so mopey, wasting the time we had left.
I shake my head at myself and how self-absorbed I was. So incredibly selfish. So caught up in me, me, me.
Then the day before I was supposed to leave, we came here to the hot springs. I wanted to make love since I was leaving soon, but she wanted to talk. She asked me to stay in Heartland and not to leave her. Then she rattled off several jobs I could easily get and said we could get a place together and eventually get married.
I told her she was crazy to ask me that… That this was my dream come true and I wasn’t staying for any reason.
I rub a hand over my face as I recall how cruel I was. I should’ve asked her then to come with me. But I didn’t. It crossed my mind, but I thought she’d only distract me. I was such a fool then. And apparently, I still am. Because I managed to be the insensitive jerk once again.
I don’t know what the hell to say to Hillary. But I do know I’d better say something. Acknowledge that I’m hurting her, even though that’s the last thing I want to do.
I get out of the water, pad to an open area, and crouch down to shift. When I do, I realize the pain in my knee is better. The springs did me some good.
When I get back to Hillary’s, I find the lights are off in the house and my clothes are waiting for me, folded and sitting on the steps to her door. I suppose I should be grateful she didn’t make me hunt for them.
