A Clean Up Man

by M. T. Pope

“Man, you know you are not supposed to be talking on the phone and driving that truck at the same time,” I scolded him.

  “I know, I know. I got this. Hold on.”

  “Yeah, okay.” A few seconds went by and I assumed he was backing up and doing the right thing by not talking while doing it. I was glad that he listened. Freak accidents are not good for Blacks or Puerto Ricans, since some of them can pass for us on occasion. Carlos wasn’t one of them, though. That was why he was still working. A black brother would have gotten fired for the stunts he pulled.

  “I’m back. Mr. Safety.” He laughed. “I was calling you to invite you over to dinner at my mom’s. I got someone I want you to meet.”

  “Oh, Lord.” I spoke as I moved over into the middle lane of the highway.

  “What is that supposed to mean?” he asked. He had a slight tone.

  “Is this another one of your chicks?” I asked.

  “Kraig, this is the one for real.” I had heard this before. Carlos dated every ethnicity possible, but his favorites were the sistas. He loved him some black girls. He would quote “the blacker the berry the sweeter the juice” all the time. He watched too many Good Times and Sanford and Son reruns for me. “Man, she is fine as wine and so, so divine.”

  “All right, J.J.” I laughed. “Knock off the ghetto soliloquy. I get the point. She’s a bad mamma jamma.”

  This time he laughed. “Anyway, Kraig, can you make it?”

  “I don’t see why not. It shouldn’t take me all day to do this job. All I have to do is install a couple of cabinets and get the hell out of there. What time is dinner?”

  “Around eight o’clock.”

  “Cool, I’ll be there. Man, Carlos, she better not be pregnant.” I laughed real hard and hung up the phone. He called back several times but I just ignored him. I knew that would pluck his nerves. He was still the typical guy; pregnancy and marriage were relationship killers for him. When he said she was the one, it meant that she was good enough to meet his momma and maybe move in with, but marriage was out of the question. His ass doubled up on condoms when he had sex. He wanted a 199 percent chance of not being a father unless he wanted to be. I couldn’t blame him, because even though he was a college graduate he was not making money hand over fist. A baby would be a real hardship on him.

  Secretly, I always dreaded the days he told me that he found “the one.” It always meant less time with me. His friendship was a big part of my life. I knew that one day he would get married but I was praying for it to happen much later. His relationship status always made me reflect on the nonexistent one that I had. Finding the right man to settle down with was not easy. Well, I wasn’t really looking, either.

  Just like a woman, a gay man has a hard time finding a man who has his own and is willing to share his life and world passionately with a significant other. Most of the time, they ended up sharing their ass and dick with others. That was not what I wanted. I wanted a whole person just like everyone else. I had to admit that the episode in college still had me messed up in the head. I tried several times to have a relationship with a guy, but I ended up ending it, because I thought that the guy would discard me like homeboy did in college. Married men were easy. They were looking for a quickie and that was it.

  I knew it was many years ago, but that thing still vexed me. I always wondered what dude was doing now. Where did he live? Was he married with kids? Did he remember that night with me? Was he creeping on his wife? Did he have a wife?

  Forty minutes later, I pulled up to the house that I was working in today and parked. “You should be over that by now, Kraig. You are better than him. He was a punk.” I had to encourage myself from time to time, because that situation could really get on my nerves, being that I was the only one who knew about it, except for him.

  I got out of my truck, grabbed my tools and tool belt from the tool cabinet in the bed of my truck, and walked toward the house. It was a nice house indeed. It was a detached, semi-brick and marble stone house. It had a two-car garage connected to it along with a nice lawn and huge cobblestone walkway. I was impressed. They must have been making some money when they both were working. I was sure he was on disability or something now.

  I rang the doorbell and stepped back, waiting for someone to answer the door. They had a nice door as well: glass moldings were on the sides from the floor to the top of the doorpost. The door had small windows as well. I could see the man of the house wheeling his way to the door. I felt sorry for him because he couldn’t walk, but more because he couldn’t use his dick anymore. I was sure that he missed his sex life. His wife had to be distraught too. He looked like he was hung. What a waste to have to wash him up and have all of that dick just lying there lifeless. But this was just my assumption; I really didn’t know what was going on in their lives or bedroom.

  The door opened and he wheeled himself backward.

  “Good morning.” I greeted him as I walked in. I only glanced at his face, because I didn’t want to show the pity I had for him on my face. I made my way to the kitchen area. He trailed behind me.

  “When did the cabinets get here?” I asked as I walked in to see the cabinets that I ordered from Lowe’s a couple of days ago sitting in the middle of the floor. They were black, just like the wife wanted them. They had a huge kitchen and he was able to move around the kitchen with ease. He just needed to be able to reach the cabinets and the counters. Everything was lowered to accommodate him.

  “They came in yesterday.” He wheeled up to them and me and rubbed them with his hands. “These are pretty nice.” If I wasn’t mistaken, from the corner of my eye I could have sworn that he was looking at my ass. I shook it off. His handicapped ass couldn’t do anything for me but give me some head.

  “Yeah, they are impressive. Your wife has good taste.” Truthfully, I was talking about him, but he probably thought I was talking about the cabinets. I smiled and moved toward the old counters. I figured it would take me about six hours to lower the counters under the cabinets, remove the old ones on the bottom, and replace them with the new ones.

  “Don’t get me started on that frigid bitch!” His face was all twisted.

  My eyebrows rose as I turned to look at the expression on his face. It was all twisted up in disdain. “Her ass couldn’t get me hard even if I wasn’t paralyzed. Good thing my shit still works.”

  “Huh?” I looked at his crotch in curiosity.

  “Yeah, man, that ‘paralyzed from the waist down’ doesn’t apply to me. I just asked my doctor to tell my wife that bullshit. My legs don’t work, but my dick gets hard on the regular. Just never around her ass. I jerk off all the time when her ass is out of the house. I was drunk that night I hopped on my bike and drove off into the night. I was trying to get away from her hard-to-impress ass. Nag, nag, nag: that is all she did. This bitch had the nerve to tell me I wasn’t pulling my weight and I needed to get another job because she was pulling in more than me. I was pulling my weight, but her ass just wanted a man to pay all the bills and let her spend hers on herself. She even wanted to have a baby so she could get more money around tax time. The bitch is money hungry, man. All of them are.”

  “Wow.” That was all I could get out. I wasn’t ready for homeboy to drop all his business on me just like that. “That is some wild stuff.”

  “Yeah, man. My moms set us up when I was in college. Man, I knew I should have stood up to my mother and all her ‘she’s from good stock’ bullshit, but noooooo I had to tap that ass one good time with my ten inches of dick and it was all a wrap. That bitch attached to me like a leech. That shit wore off after college, though. Her evil ass started showing her true colors. Bitch stop giving up the pussy and the head and demanded I pay for it, or as she said ‘earn it.’ My dumb ass had to knock her silly ass up, now we got a one-year-old and I am married to this boss bitch in heals.”

  Ten inches . . . Ten inches . . . Ten inches. That was all that I could think about. He kept rambling on. My eyes wandered down to his
waist several times. I saw the bulge lying on his thigh. I turned around and grabbed my measuring tape out of my toolbox and pretended like I was measuring the cabinet in front of me. I measured out ten inches and felt my asshole throbbing. I was horny for sure, but I needed to get this job done. I didn’t want to add handicapped dick to my day, even though the thought of turning a handicapped man out was alluring.

  “Sorry to hear all about that, man. I’m sure it will get better. I need to get this job done so it can be done by the time your wife gets home.”

  “Fuck that bitch. Her ass won’t be back for another two days. I am going to jerk myself off until my dick doesn’t want to get hard no more. I am not even trying to risk getting hard around her ass.”

  “Okay, let me get this started. I have a lot to do in a short time.” I really wanted to go over to him and charm his snake but I knew that I needed to get on with the job and get the hell out of there before I was riding him in his wheelchair.

  “Cool, man. Let me go check on my daughter.” He wheeled away and I breathed a sigh of relief. I got to work on what I needed to do.

  Eight hours later, I was cleaning up my mess in the kitchen and getting ready to take my butt home. I walked around the house to let dude know that I was finished. I heard his daughter crying earlier and he came in to grab a few things for her about three hours ago and I hadn’t seen him since.

  I quietly walked into their huge living room. There was a black-and-white sectional with a matching ottoman and coffee table in the room. It looked like the wife loved money and she had great taste. There were art and figurines all over the place, plus a huge plasma television on the wall.

  “Hello.” My voice was barely above a whisper, because I peeked out a covered crib located in the corner of the room. He was a couple of feet across the room at a computer desk. It looked like he was asleep. There was some porn playing on the screen. It was gay porn, too. I walked up on him to tap him on his shoulder and noticed that his dick was out.

  “Oh, shit!” I covered my mouth and backed up. I looked at the computer screen, which showed two dudes going at it hard. I couldn’t help but get sexually aroused. Looking at his dick and at the screen, I decided, against my better judgment, to pull my dick out and get a quick nut in. I reached out and over homeboy’s shoulder to get the lotion that was in plain view. I prayed that he didn’t wake up.

  “What are you doing?” He grabbed my arm and startled me in the process. My prayer wasn’t answered.

  “Uhhh . . .” was all that I could get out. How in the hell was I going to explain reaching for some lotion to jerk myself off? I looked down at his dick and some drool dropped from the sides of my mouth. “Nothing, man, my hands were ashy. I needed it for my hands.” I backed up from him, scared that he was about to go off. There wasn’t much he could do in the wheelchair but I was scared nonetheless. He turned his wheelchair around as I backed up.

  “I’ll tell you what you were about to do.” He smiled. “You was about to come over here and wrap your mouth around my meat.”

  “Nah, no, I wasn’t.” I forgot that my dick was still out. I tried to put it away but he stopped me.

  “Don’t put it away.” He wheeled up to me. “I always wondered what it was like to suck another brotha’s dick.” He smiled.

  I looked over in the corner at the baby’s crib. Even though it was covered, I still didn’t want to do anything like that with a kid in the room.

  “Don’t worry, man, she’ll be asleep for a while.” He smiled. That didn’t make me feel any better. He lifted my dick into his mouth and began to suck. For a first timer he was pretty good. After a few seconds, he pulled away.

  “Now it’s my turn.” His dick was hard as brick and at full length. I did the unthinkable and certainly the unmentionable. I reached down and grabbed the base of his dick and licked it up to the top and back down again. His moan was low and gravelly, but he didn’t get loud with it. A few more licks and I started to go deep on the dick. I was good but I wasn’t going to try to take all of him down my throat. I didn’t need a sore throat, because I knew Carlos’s mom was going to be throwing down in the kitchen tonight.

  I bobbed up and down for several minutes, trying my best not to get him too excited. I didn’t want him to wake up his sleeping daughter. A few minutes later, he pulled my head up off his dick.

  “I want to fuck you.” He grinned real hard and reached around and grabbed my ass.

  “Man, that’s not a good idea. I got to be going.” I got up off of my knees and turned away. He grabbed the back pocket of my pants and pulled me back over to him. His arms were strong as shit. It must have been from all the jerking himself and the wheeling himself around.

  “Don’t worry, dude, I will take my time. I know you want it.”

  I shook my head in shame, because this was one of my lowest moments. But there was that thrill once again, pushing at me to do it.

  “C’mon, son. This won’t take long. I just want to see what it’s like to do a guy. You’re not going to rob me of that experience?” he asked like he was going to meet the president or something.

  “All right, just a little bit,” I said, cursing myself in my head. Momma definitely didn’t say there would be days like this.

  I pulled out a condom from my toolbox and eased it down on his dick. The extra-large Magnum condom only went down three quarters of the way on his dick. The ho in me was getting excited and turned on.

  I unzipped my pants and pulled them off, totally going against my rules; I never fully undressed in a house I was working in. I let dude play with my ass and asshole a little bit before he spit on his dick for lubrication. He put on the brakes to his wheelchair on so we wouldn’t move when we started. I backed up and he eased the head of his dick into my ass. He pushed down on the lower part of my back to get his dick in me. I held on to the sides of the wheelchair so that I could brace myself. Minutes later, I almost had all of him in me. I was in a little pain and I knew that his dick wouldn’t be an easy fit.

  “Ahhhhh . . . Yeahhhhhh.” I started working myself up and down on him and the more I worked the more of his dick was being thrust in me. I had to hold my breath a little with each pump, because his dick was so big that if I coughed I would have surely spit up some dick. It felt like he was in my stomach. The whole time I was fucking him I watched the crib in the corner of the room. I was going straight to hell and I knew it. But, that didn’t stop me from twisting around in the wheelchair and facing him. It was a cramped spot for sure but I did what I did best. I worked that shit out. Ten minutes later, we were both sweating and I heard him starting to grunt. Usually when a man comes he thrusts harder, but since dude’s legs were numb that didn’t happen. He just came and lay there. I pulled myself off of him and put my pants back on.

  “Damn, that was good.” He was breathing hard. I looked at his deflating dick and shook my head again. Was it really worth it? was what I asked myself as I picked up my toolbox and headed toward the front door. Hell yeah!

  “Dude, can we do this again?” He was still facing the opposite direction.

  “Man, I don’t think so. That is just not a good idea.”

  “So you saying the dick wasn’t good?”

  “No, I didn’t say that. It was on point. I just think you need to do the family thing. Leave this stuff alone.” My conscience was speaking now. It always did after situations like this one.

  “Man, I got this family thing. I’m talking about my dick right now. I need tight ass like yours every so often to do some things with. Feel me?”

  “Man, I’m not a home wrecker. I don’t do relationships with married men.”

  “Man, I’m not talking about a relationship. I just want a jump off every now and then.” By this time he was turned around, facing me.

  “I think you need to tell your wife the truth and work this out. She couldn’t be all that bad,” I reasoned.

  “Dude, I don’t want any part of her. If it wasn’t for my daughter I woul
d have been gone. I just need you to help a brother out every so often.”

  “I’ll think about it, but don’t call me, I’ll call you.”

  “All right.” He looked disappointed, but I knew that this was a one-time thing. Well, I hoped so.

  “I need to clean up real quick.” I looked at him and waited for instructions.

  “Down the hall and on your left.” He pointed.

  I followed instructions and quickly went into the bathroom to get freshened up. I was out of the house in less than seven minutes.

  I loaded up the bulk trash that was in the kitchen into the bed of my truck and pulled off, never looking back.

  Chapter 6

  Momma Mia!

  When I got in the house at about six-thirty, I was completely drained. Not to mention the fact that I was literally stretched in my nether region. I ran a bath real quick while I pulled out my attire for the evening. I knew I had to soak for at least a half hour in some Epsom salts to get the soreness to go away. I also had to ponder what I was going to do the rest of my life.

  I definitely couldn’t keep sleeping around like I did. It just wasn’t a good look for me. I had to admit that this last one was one for the memory banks. It sure was going to help me get through some lonely nights, especially when it was just me and Vaseline Intensive Care lotion: my real best friend.

  Bzzzzzzzzzzzzz. I heard my phone ring from my bedroom. I had it on the toilet seat next to the tub. I didn’t want to miss any calls. There was always the risk of me dropping it in the water, but I took my chances.

  “Yeah,” I spoke into the phone.

  “Are you going to be on time?” Carlos asked.

  “Nah, man, I’ll get there when I get there.” I chuckled.

  “Stop playing, dude. I really want you to be on time.”

  “Carlos, have I ever been late to one of your momma’s fantastic meals?” I asked him.

  “No,” he answered meekly.

  “All right, now beat it.” I laughed. “I got to get my shit right if I’m going to take your girl from you.”