A Clean Up Man

by M. T. Pope

  “So how did you meet this Carla?” I looked at him skeptically.

  “Ironically, I was driving on the same patch of highway on I-695 that we had been on when we got that ticket . . . I mean, I got that ticket. I was actually driving really slowly this time. Her truck had gotten a flat and she was on the side of the road looking desperate. As I approached her I saw her struggling with a spare tire in her trunk. And you know our friendly Baltimorean motorists, most just sped right on by her, leaving her stranded. Anyway, I passed her like most, but pulled over and backed up to help her. I fixed the tire and we talked a little and we just clicked. We exchanged numbers and went on out first date last week.”

  “Wow, man, that is good.” I tried to be as enthusiastic about it as I could. It always lingers in the back of my mind that if he gets in a serious relationship we might grow apart. Everybody knows that when your friend is getting some good sex he forgets about his friends. I knew not to take it personal, because it is something that happens to everyone. “So what do you know about Carla?”

  “Well she’s an executive assistant at a law firm in the city of Baltimore. Her boss’s name is Shawn Black. I think she said he is a top-notch lawyer, too. She has no kids. She lives alone. Her parents live in another state and she has two older brothers and a younger one.”

  “She told you all of that?”

  “Yeah, man. We talked on the phone for over two hours a couple of nights after we met. I made the first move, but I was a little nervous because she had her stuff together. I was used to the usual around-the-way chicks. Carla has class and her own money. She is completely independent and I can tell she has respect for herself.” He was grinning again. I knew that he had already given her his heart. I just hoped she was honest about everything she said.

  Carlos spoke up. “I know what you are thinking.”

  “What am I thinking?”

  “You think I am getting involved too quickly. You are thinking she might be lying about everything and may be just like all the other chicks I meet and date. But, you are wrong. I really like her. And I don’t want to sleep with her. I want to get to know her first . . . That’s right, I’m changing it up and doing it another way. No sex.” He got really serious on me really quick. I had never seen him this serious before about a girl or even not having sex. This could be the one for him.

  “Carlos, I am proud that you have come to that decision. It’s actually a very good move on your part. I commend you.”

  “You sound like my muthafuckin’ boss and not my best friend.” He burst out into fit of laughter.

  “Nah, man. I’m trying to be serious.”

  “Okay, okay.” He nodded his head. “I know you are.”

  “Just take your time and get to know her like you say you want to do.” Saying that made me think about Jarrod and how I should have gotten to know him. I probably would have seen some type of signs that he was into men and shied away from him from the jump. Who knew, I could have been married with a family or something like that now, instead of sleeping with married men. But it was too late for the shoulda, woulda, coulda’s now. I couldn’t reverse what happened, but I sure could make his ass pay for taking away my choice.

  “I promise, I will.” He nodded his head like he was serious about his commitment to abstaining. “So what have you been up to?”

  “Well, nothing spectacular; just going to work and going home. Trying to make it do what it do.”

  “I know I am going to regret asking this, because I vowed never to talk about any of your sexual activities, but . . . are you seeing anyone?”

  “Well, I have a prospective significant other, but nothing serious just yet.”

  “So do you think that you will ever find the right ummmm . . . guy?” He was trying his best not to look awkward, but he did. A lot of straight men had a problem with even saying the word “gay” for fear of being guilty by association. I knew that Carlos wasn’t that way, but he still had a time with talking about it. I still did as well. Even with all of these modern things going on around us, being gay was still a taboo subject for a multitude of people.

  “Welllll, I really don’t know. I never really thought about it.” That was true. I never really thought of finding a man to settle down with. I mean, the thought had crossed my mind, but I never really gave it any more than a few seconds of thought and moved on. I didn’t even know if I could even function in a committed relationship with a man.

  “Do you think two men or two women should be able to get married?”

  “Damn, man, you really digging deep today, aren’t you?” I smiled, but I was serious.

  “I have been wondering about it and I wanted to ask you. I just didn’t know how to ask you about that type of stuff. Any of that stuff actually.”

  “That is something I don’t have an answer for.” I so wanted to tell him what happened to me in college. I wanted to tell him that this lifestyle chose me and that I didn’t choose it. But, what would he say to me to make me feel better? Nothing. And what could he do to change it? Nothing. So why mention anything about it to him or anybody for that matter. This was something I had to handle on my own. I knew that.

  “Oh, okay.” He spoke and then turned and looked out of his window for a few seconds. I tried to focus on my driving but my mind wandered on to the subject of my mother and the mystery of my father.

  “Carlos, you ever wonder where your father could be living?”

  “Now you are digging deep.” He smirked as I looked his way for a second and then back to the road again.

  “I’m just asking. You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to talk about it.” I looked at him and then focused my attention back on the road ahead of me. Traffic was getting thick and I had to pay attention.

  “Nah, man. It’s okay. I don’t have any problem with talking about him or the lack thereof.”

  I looked over at him again because he had paused and looked out of the window again. His chest heaved up and down a few times before he spoke again.

  “Well, Felipe, my father, was the world to me, up until he left us a year or two after we moved here. In Puerto Rico, my dad was like a king, or at least that is the way I saw him. But when we moved here he did a jack-in-the-box and popped right out of my life. My momma would always say that he would come back when he found himself. I didn’t know what that meant at six and I still don’t know now. I always wondered how a man could just up and leave his family. I mean really just leave.” My focus was still on the road, but my heart was with Carlos right now. I knew what he felt, because I felt it too.

  “I mean, Kraig, he just left us. Thank goodness my mother had some skills with laundry and sewing and all of that, because he left us high and dry and with very little money in the bank. Everything was in his name: the house, bills, and all of that, so we just had to keep it all. That shit was hard on my mother and she struggled hard to keep it together. Under-the-table jobs and all, just to keep our little family together. There were many times that all we had to eat was rice and beans. I can’t begin to tell you how many nights I went to bed angry because he wasn’t there to hold my crying mother at night. I would hear her through the walls and go in and hold her like my father was supposed to be doing. But he wasn’t there where he was supposed to be. So, no, I really don’t think about him. And the only time I do, I hope he is somebody’s bitch in prison or lying in the gutter, covering himself up with the curb, because that is all that he deserves for leaving us in a cold world like he did all alone and defenseless.”

  “Damn!” was all I could get out. I shook my head in astonishment, because I had never heard Carlos speak like this about anyone. He had a deep-seated resentment and I couldn’t blame him.

  “Yep . . . my thoughts exactly.” He looked straight ahead with an emotionless face. His story almost made me want to cry for him. I had never heard it in such detail before and with so much pain wrapped up in it.

  “So what do you have planned for the ticket hear
ing in a couple of days?”

  “You still worried about that?” I answered a question with a question, because I didn’t really want to divulge any details of my plan. I really thought it would scare him if he knew my plans. It probably would scare any straight man, and maybe a few gay ones too.

  “Yeah, Kraig.” He huffed a little. “This got my job tied up into it. Jobs are hard to come by right now and I like this one. It is a good paying job and it supports me and my mother. Feel me?”

  “Carlos, man, I got it. Don’t even worry about that. I assure you that you will have your job. You trust me?”

  “Yeah, but . . .” He looked scared. Like a man who was about to lose everything again.

  “Have I ever let you down when you really needed me?”

  “No, Kraig, I’m just worried, that’s all.”

  “I understand that, but I am telling you as your best friend that I got you and you don’t have to worry about the ticket.” I was 95 percent sure about the success of my plan. I believed that there was always room for error.

  “All right . . . okay. I hear you. Just don’t do any illegal shit. And don’t tell me about it if you do. I don’t even want to know how you going to ‘get it done.’ I want to be innocent for real.” He laughed, but I knew that he was serious. I couldn’t say that I blamed him, either.

  “So, what’s going on with the picture of your father? You get it back yet?”

  “Nah, I have to go and check it out in a day or two. I hope that this picture gives me some answers, because, dude, I will be feeling about my father much like how you feel about yours.”

  “I hope so too,” he chimed in. After a few more seconds of silence, Carlos’s phone rang and he picked it up. I didn’t have to be a brain surgeon to know that it was Carla on the phone. For most of the ride he talked to her and when we got to our destination he ended his phone call with a bright smile on his face.

  “You got . . . you got it bad . . .” I sang the lyrics to Usher’s hit song as we walked into the rental office for the park.

  “I was going to let you win a few races, but after that comment your ass is grass.” He laughed. I laughed too because I knew that today would be a great day with my best friend. I lived for these moments. I was a friendship and family man for sure.

  After a few seconds in line, we paid for our four-wheel ATVs, signed the injury waivers, and then made our way toward the small warehouse where they stored the bikes and ATVs.

  We picked our vehicles and speed off like bats out of hell.

  “Dude, this is the shit,” I yelled at Carlos who was a few feet away from me. The hills and terrain were ideal for rough riding and we loved every minute of it. We stayed for all of four hours and by the time we had left the sun began to go down. We talked about it the whole way home and we planned on doing it again.

  Chapter 15

  Shake It Off

  I woke up this morning, two days after me and Carlos went to the ATV park, and fixed me some scrambled eggs, French toast, and some turkey sausage with a glass of red Kool-Aid. I needed plenty of energy for the day that I had planned out. I had two things on my list today. The first one was to go by the picture restoration place and see what was going on with my picture, and then I was off to court with Carlos to get this ticket thrown out. Carlos lied and told his boss that he had a doctor’s appointment so that he didn’t have to let him know that he was going to court for a traffic ticket. Knowing Carlos, he was still panicky about the whole situation. He didn’t say it but the three phone calls this morning let me know that he was. Again, I couldn’t blame him. His job was on the line.

  This was how our last three conversations went....

  “Hello,” I answered the phone, knowing who it was.

  “So you still are going to come, right?”

  “Yes, Carlos.”

  “You are going to meet me there?”

  “Yes, Carlos.”

  “Twelve o’clock sharp, right?”

  “Yes, Carlos.”

  “Are you sure this is going to go away, Kraig?”

  “Yo, chill out and relax. I will be there.”

  “All right . . . All right. Catch you later.”

  I hung up the phone.

  “Please let this work out,” I prayed. “He will never let me live this down and I know that I couldn’t look at him and his pitiful face knowing that I let him down.”

  I went up to my bedroom to make sure that I looked all right and to make sure I had on my “get him, boy” cargo khaki pants that fit snug around my ass and a V-neck shirt that showed off my pecks a little. I had on some rugged Timberlands to give it that street edge that I needed. I knew that Officer Faggy was going to be a tough pull and I needed to pull out all of the stops. I even had my mother braid my hair in some cornrows. I sprayed on some UR by Usher and put on a jean jacket that I got from J. Crew and was out the door. Times like this I wished I had another vehicle instead of my truck, but I was good regardless and I knew it.

  It was ten forty-five in the morning when I left the house and I knew it would only take me fifteen minutes to get to Catonsville and get my picture. I called the shop and the phone was busy every time I called, but I went by the shop anyway.

  I pulled up to the shop at eleven on the nose. As I got out of my truck I noticed a guy around my age getting out of his truck and walking toward the same establishment I was headed toward.

  “Good morning.” I spoke politely.

  “Hey.” The other guy spoke back like he wasn’t in the mood to talk.

  “Is the owner going to be here today?” I inquired.

  “My father had a mild heart attack last week. He won’t be back for at least a few weeks.” He unlocked the door and went in the shop.

  I followed him, curious whether my picture was fixed. I didn’t want to be insensitive but I had to ask about my picture. “Do you know if he fixed my picture?”

  “Nope.” His one-word answers were killing me.

  “What do you know?” I was a little peed off and it showed.

  “I know this picture shit is for the birds. I am a Realtor, not whatever he does in here.” He sounded like a spoiled brat.

  “When I need a house then we can talk about you. Right now I need to know where my picture is located.”

  “Look, homie . . .” He paused and looked at me. “Didn’t you hear me say this is not what I do?”

  “Look . . .” I paused and breathed out a frustrated breath. He was plucking my nerves. “All I want is my picture. Can you find it for me?”

  “That’s not going to happen today. I don’t know his system . . . if there is one. I’m just here to make sure everything is cut off and that this old place doesn’t burn to the ground. My father is old and forgetful and I am just trying to look after his prized possession.”

  All that I heard while he talked was “blah, blah, blah.” I didn’t really care about all of that. I just wanted my picture.

  “I hear that.” I said it like I actually cared.

  “He couldn’t care less about his son who stood by his side and cared for him and makes sure he is all right, since my mother died. But, nah, he was worried about his shop.” He went on and on with his tirade. I tried to stay focused, but I was fighting a losing battle. Again, all I wanted was my picture back.

  “Well, you only get one father and one mother. Be grateful you still have him around,” I said, trying to shut him up. “You could be arranging his funeral now instead of checking in on his shop.”

  “Yeah, you right.” He calmed down quickly.

  “So you said about a few weeks and he will be back?”

  “Yeah, Pop is a fighter. Check back in a few weeks.”

  “Okay, I will.” I turned around and exited the shop. I hopped in my truck and sat there for a minute. People just don’t know what a privilege it is to have both parents in the same household nowadays. I pulled off and headed toward the courthouse on Wabash Avenue.

  I sat in my truck and breath
ed another long, hard breath. You know the type of breath: one of those breaths that meant that your life might take an ugly change in the next few minutes. I felt guilty for letting Carlos think that this was all about him and not about my revenge plan, but I had to take this opportunity to kill two birds with one stone.

  I exited my truck and headed across the parking lot toward the courthouse. I kept going over the plan I had in my head, but I also prepared for the chance of a change in plans. I knew that it was now anything goes to get Carlos off and my plans pushed ahead.

  Walking up to the front door of the courthouse, there were people scattered and some in groups, smoking cigarettes and drinking coffee, waiting for their turn in front of the judge. I saw more men than women and that was not shocking. I walked in the front door and got scanned by the security that was at the door and made my way upstairs to the courtroom that was assigned to traffic violations.

  As soon as I walked in I looked at my watch; it was eleven-forty. I found Carlos in the back row of the courtroom and made my way next to him. He was dressed in a suit and tie. I laughed to myself as I sat down. You would have thought he was going up for parole or something. His facial expression was so serious and sullen.

  “Hey.” I nudged him with my elbow as I sat down next to him.

  “Hey.” He looked at me quickly and back at the front of the courtroom. A guy just got handed three points on his license and I knew from the look on Carlos’s face that his worst fears looked like they were edging closer and closer to him.

  I looked at my watch again and decided that now was the time to make my move. I just hoped my timing was good.

  “I’ll be right back.” I patted Carlos on the leg.

  “Okay.” He spoke with little emotion and he barely turned his head toward me when he spoke.

  I got up to walk out of the courtroom. The room was filled with all races of people, with different looks on their faces ranging from fear to anger. The air was thick with tension, which made leaving a lot easier, because I was tense enough with the trick I was about to try to pull off. A couple of people stared at me as if I were bolting from the courtroom, but I knew that I was moving with a purpose.