Hayley’s heart did double-time. When she was in Josh’s presence, it felt like a missing puzzle piece to her life. She couldn’t explain it, except that she must be more deeply in lust than she’d ever been before. No use thinking about a relationship, so don’t, she told herself sternly. But oh, she could think of other, diverting, short-term pursuits with the man in front of her.
“In the past I’ve preferred flings, yes,” Josh said at last, which didn’t quite answer her statement. “But you don’t do flings.”
For you, Josh, she thought, I just might make an exception.
Josh waited for Hayley to tell him, No, I don’t do flings, that’s that. But instead she said, “My flings have been more fun than my relationships, actually. But still, I want a serious relationship now. I need a serious relationship, even.”
She tucked her hair behind her ear in an almost self-conscious gesture. Beautiful earlobe, he thought, and imagined brushing her hair back further, exposing the creamy smooth curve of her neck, which he’d very much like to kiss.
“Is your biological clock ticking?” Josh arched an eyebrow. “Or was it sexist of me to even ask?”
“I’ve never even thought about babies, to be honest,” Hayley said.
Inexplicably, Josh was glad to hear it. He realized he’d never thought one way or the other about having kids, either. Hayley’s response changed his impression of her from a woman who had marriage-and-babies on the brain to one who simply knew what she wanted at this stage of her life, and took one thing at a time.
“Then why forever?” he asked.
“Josh, forever is the why.”
“So tell me about this ulterior motive you have for accepting my dinner invitation,” he said.
Hayley tilted her head and put a considering finger on her lips. “First you tell me what went wrong in your last relationship.”
Josh wanted to kiss those lips, nibble on that finger.
“Shannon failed the sleep test,” he said.
“The sleep test?” Hayley sipped her wine. “Do tell.”
“Well, my dad and I are both non-sleepers,” he explained. “We toss and turn all night. He told me the other day that you know you’ve found the right woman when you sleep well beside her. I had no idea that could be a thing because it’s never happened to me.”
As he said it, Josh took in Hayley’s warmth. It came through in so many ways—her personality, her smile, her rich auburn hair, which shone as if she were basking in sunlight. He imagined being in bed with her. Holding her in his arms, inhaling her summer-orange scent. He thought he probably could drift off to sleep quite nicely beside her … although there were other things he’d rather do with her first.
“You’ve never slept well beside a woman?” she asked.
“I’ve never slept well, period.”
“That’s tragic,” Hayley said. “I love my sleep.”
“I envy you your sleep.”
“Aw. I’d share it with you if I could.”
The sweetness of her words struck Josh’s heart like a thunderbolt. Was it possible he’d never before known a woman so kind? He couldn’t help but smile at her, and her eyes brightened in happy response.
“So …” he asked, “if you’d share your sleep with me, does that mean …?”
“Don’t get any ideas,” she said, but her tone was teasing, sexual.
“It’s too bad you’re not interested in a fling. I think the two of us could have a lot of fun.”
“Who said I wasn’t looking for a fling?”
“You did,” he said.
“That’s before I came up with my plan.”
Josh’s eyebrows went up. He liked the sound of that. “Now you have to tell me about this plan of yours.”
She took a deep breath and said, “Ok, so … it has to do with blind spots. I offer a service to my male clients called Blind Spot Boogie, during which they take me on a date, over the course of which I observe them and try to figure out a few less-than-flattering behaviors they engage in that might be holding them back from progressing beyond the first date. I help them understand why that is, and how to correct it.”
She told him about a recent session with a client—“I won’t name him,” she said, which made Josh think it was someone he’d know—and how oblivious the client was to the many things he did wrong with women.
“And the thing is—I need help with my blind spots, too,” she said. “I really do want to find a good boyfriend. Husband material, even. And I need a guy I can trust to help me see what I’m doing wrong—because, clearly I’m doing something wrong”
Josh had studied her as she talked. “Why the rush?”
She blushed. “Do I seem rushed?”
She even said it fast. He laughed. “You seem rushed.”
“Well, I am,” she admitted. “Have you heard of Devotion.com? The online dating site?”
“Sure.”
“Well, they contacted me about my ‘Bring Your Heart to Golden Falls’ campaign and my business model, and they offered to partner with me. I’d get national advertising and exposure for my business, and it’s basically a huge break for me. But the problem is, they want me to be the face of this new personalized service they’re offering, and to do a high-visibility profile on me, my relationship, and my own success story.”
“Ah,” Josh said. “The problem being, you don’t have a relationship.”
“Exactly.”
“When’s the profile?”
“January.” She bit her lip. “So I don’t have a lot of time. I really need to get my act together.”
Josh processed her words. She wanted him to be her dating coach. You could get closer to her. It would be a good excuse. The idea of dating Hayley, even in an advisory capacity, was a tempting one. Then he realized her goal was a forever relationship, and his wasn’t. You’ll be setting her up for some other guy. That, he didn’t like the sound of. Not at all.
But he remembered all the nice things she’d done for him that day and realized how selfish he was being. Helping her as a friend was the least he could do.
Another thought occurred to him. “Why don’t I just pretend to be your boyfriend for the profile itself?”
Her eyes sparkled. “The thought had occurred to me to ask if you would,” she said. “But, no. For one thing, I do want a real relationship. And for another, how can I be credible as a matchmaker if I’m deceiving the world about my own story? Not to mention how it would look if—and when, this is a small town, after all—people found out. But it would be a huge help if you would just coach me a little to get me over whatever my hurdles are.”
He had to smile at her. He wasn’t surprised she refused to play a charade about her relationship status. He hadn’t known her long, but everything about her was pure authenticity.
Their dinner arrived then, Hayley’s plate of salmon and Josh’s monster bowl of chili, loaded with sour cream, green onion, sliced avocado, diced tomato and cilantro.
“What’s this?” Josh said, stunned by the dish before him. It was the biggest bowl of chili he’d ever seen in his life, and to get fresh avocado in November was a real treat.
“Hayley asked us to make your chili extra special,” the waitress said. “She said you might have had a tough day. So the chef made up a fresh batch of venison chili for you.”
“Well, thank you.” Touched, he cleared his throat. “It looks fantastic. Please thank the chef for me.”
He waited until the waitress was out of earshot, and then he locked eyes with Hayley.
“First hot chocolate, now this.” His heart lifted in admiration. “You’re so damned thoughtful.”
She laughed awkwardly. “Is that a bad thing?”
“No!” Josh leaned forward and took her hand across the table. He felt the soft squeeze of her fingers in response and felt a peculiar, almost protective desire to keep holding her hand and never let go. “You kind of swept me off my feet today, Hayley. You’re the real deal.”
&
nbsp; “So help me out.” She gave him a sweet smile. “Be my fake boyfriend for a few days so I can get myself a real one as soon as possible. Please?”
“All right,” he said. “Whatever you need.”
“Thank you, thank you!” Hayley took her hand back so she could clap her excitement. “I promise it’ll just be a one-day thing.”
“No falling for each other,” he said.
“Definitely not.”
Damn it, he thought, looking at her uninhibited wide smile. Half of him already had fallen for her.
“And I won’t try to change you, and there won’t be a messy breakup. None of the things you hate,” she said. “You’ll point out my blind spots; I’ll fix them; and then I’ll go on to live my happily ever after with someone else.”
Josh drank in the sight of her gleaming auburn hair, her full pink lips, the warmth of her eyes, and wasn’t at all sure this was a good idea. But he did want to spend more time with her. Could hardly bear the thought of not, actually.
“Will there be sex involved?” he asked. “I mean, you do want a full critique, right?”
“I don’t know if my fragile ego can handle you critiquing my boudoir techniques.” By the way she said it, he could tell she didn’t really have any such qualms. She playfully raised an eyebrow. “But then again, you are Mr. December … so … I’d have to say yes, there may be sex involved, if you play your cards right.”
“I will definitely play my cards right,” he said.
“Well, good,” Hayley said, an almost-wicked smile still playing at the corners of her mouth. “I want to be as thorough as possible.”
“Always,” he said.
With that, they dug into their food with the heartiest of appetites.
8
Hayley woke the next morning about an hour before her alarm went off. She’d told Josh they could put off the profile interview with him, and instead they’d scheduled their first faux-date for that afternoon. She could hardly wait for it to begin. But first, she had to squeeze in a morning of work.
She climbed out of bed, took a nice bath, dressed in her usual thick wool leggings and a long black cashmere turtleneck sweater, and walked the four blocks to the Roberts Staffing Agency. Hayley had her own small office there, which doubled in use for both her staffing agency work and her matchmaking business. She paid Claire a small monthly rent supplement to include the use of the agency’s kitchenette, conference rooms, office equipment, and receptionist for the matchmaking side of things.
The first thing she wanted to do that morning was touch base with Cassie Holt, for both personal and professional reasons.
“Hayley, hi!” Cassie said when she picked up the phone.
“Hey, Cassie! Do you have a minute?”
“I sure do. What’s up?”
“Three things,” Hayley said. “First, I want to thank you for sending my video to your friend at Devotion.com. She got in touch with me and—I still can’t believe it—they want to do a partnership for a new personalized subscription level they’re offering. I signed the contract earlier this week.”
“Oh, wow! Hayley, that’s awesome! I had no idea they were doing something like that. I just thought of Allison working there and figured she might be interested in your business model.”
“I’m totally thrilled about it,” Hayley said. “And they’re doing a profile on me as part of the whole thing, which means I need to get in shape pronto, so that’s my second question. I was wondering what you do for exercise?”
“Skiing and yoga, but I recently started taking spin classes to change it up a bit,” Cassie said. “Want to try a spin class with me? They’re hard, but they burn a ton of calories.”
“I’ll try one,” she said. Hard workouts didn’t sound fun, but if it meant burning a ton of calories, Hayley was willing to do it.
“I’m going to a class tonight after the six o’clock newscast,” Cassie said. “Want to go with me and then out for a drink?”
“I’d love to, but I have plans. Which is the other thing I wanted to tell you. I’m seeing Josh this afternoon. Like, as in kind of a date—but not really a date.”
“Oh!” Cassie said, her tone indicating her confusion. “You’ll have to explain that. Last I heard you turned him down because you’re looking for more of a relationship than he is.”
‘He’s going to do a Blind Spot Boogie on me,” Hayley said. “You know, like I did for Michael Driessner the other night? By the way, Michael’s absolutely hopeless. It was so bad that I would have refunded his money, but then he told me I suck as a woman!”
Cassie laughed. “You do not suck as a woman.”
“I know, but I figure a good dating coach really might be able to help me, and Josh is willing, so why not? He’s going to give me a few pointers, and then I’m going to put myself out there and really try to find a guy who’s looking for the same things as me. I have a business mixer tonight, actually, right after my date with Josh. I’m hoping to connect with someone there.”
“So … just between you and me. Are you going to have sex with him?”
Hayley didn’t know Cassie well, but she liked that they were cutting through the formalities. She was more and more certain they were going to grow into good friends.
“Maybe,” she said, but she meant definitely. When she’d gotten home the previous night, she’d opened her copy of the firefighter charity calendar and flipped straight to the last spread. She’d been fantasizing about Josh and his Mr. December hardbody photo ever since.
“Be careful,” Cassie said. “You might have a hard time walking away when it’s over. What if you have the best sex of your life with him, and no guy afterwards can compare? Wouldn’t that set you up for disappointment with your forever guy?”
“Are you saying I shouldn’t sleep with him?” Hayley said. “Because he was Mr. December in the firefighter calendar, and I’ve seen enough of his body to know I want it.”
“They had Cody chop wood bare-chested. He was May.” She sighed happily. “The man has damn fine muscles. Anyway, Josh is one of Cody’s good friends, and he’s a really great guy. But I give no guarantees about you riding off into the sunset with him.”
“Don’t worry, I’m not going to let myself fall for him.”
But she was going to seduce him, or let him seduce her—one way or another, they were going to have sex. Just talking about the possibility had made up Hayley’s mind. No strings attached, so why not?
“What are you doing for your date?” Cassie asked.
“He’s taking me clothes shopping. Too many people have told me lately I need to spice up my wardrobe.”
“I love a man who’ll take me shopping,” Cassie said. “Listen, I’ve got to run, I have a deadline for the news at noon.”
“Thanks for the advice,” Hayley said. “I promise I’ll take it. It’s going to be just for the sake of education. Nothing emotional.”
“Sounds like a plan,” Cassie said. “Have fun with Mr. December!”
Josh spent the morning working with two of his dogs, Smudge and Chance, training them to be lead dogs. Training entailed hooking them up to the sled and running them in a circular route he’d made with the snow machine, teaching them their gee and haw commands—right and left directions—complicated only when Smudge, the younger of the two, went after a wild turkey, or Chance stopped inexplicably.
Afterwards, he took a full team for a twenty-miler. A couple hours in the fresh air with a light snowfall, combined with his excitement about seeing Hayley later, made for a good run. As he managed the sled, Josh wondered how he could best give Hayley the advice she felt she needed to find her forever love.
From what he knew of her so far, he thought she was close to perfect already. She did tend to dress too conservatively, like a woman older than she was and with far fewer physical assets than she had, but that was an easy fix with the shopping trip date. Hayley had already proven she wasn’t shy when the subject of sex came up, and that was hot, becaus
e it implied she wouldn’t hold back in bed. A woman who knew how to work her body, to give and take carnal pleasure—that would be a must-have if he ever was tempted to settle down.
Plus, she could carry her own in a conversation and didn’t come across as needy. She wasn’t self-absorbed, and when she smiled, she made a guy feel like a million bucks.
As the wind whipped his face and the sled swept across the clean surface of the snow, Josh considered what Hayley might say if he signed up for her blind spot analysis. He’d never yet had any complaints in the bedroom department. But he needed lots of time alone, with his own thoughts, and women said that they never knew what he was thinking. That he didn’t let them in.
Yet he was social, too. He loved hanging out with his friends and fellow firefighters—going to the bars, helping on weekend work crews, having barbecues and poker nights. At the same time, he did tend to be inflexible with his schedule—his job required forty-eight-hour shifts, and the dogs required daily feeding and training at specific times. So while he made time for girlfriends, he couldn’t and didn’t want to be at their beck and call. That’s probably it, he realized. I’ve never put a woman first. Never fully confided in a woman, never made too much of an investment. And I never really missed her when she wasn’t there.
On that cold, clear morning, all these things felt like failings. He liked to tell himself maybe he’d just never found “the one,” but what if he had and he’d never fully seized the potential of a relationship? Plenty of women he’d dated had confided in him and had made themselves vulnerable—and he’d encouraged it. He loved getting to know a woman, but had he ever let one get to truly know him? No, and why hadn’t he? What was he afraid of?
More importantly for the day’s purpose—did Hayley let herself be truly known?
Josh resolved to find out.
9
To start off their shopping date, Josh and Hayley agreed to meet at Shackleton’s, a trendy bar at the Nanook Valley Mall. They arrived at exactly the same time and even got held up at the same stoplight side by side. Josh glanced over at the short sound of a friendly honk, and his heart skipped when she waved and smiled at him. He parked right next to her Subaru and opened her door for her.
Bring Your Heart (Golden Falls Fire Book 2) Page 7
