The previous day, she’d worn a pink knit cap and scarf with matching lipstick, but that day her scarf was dark green and brought out the flecks of green in her eyes. Her lips were peach and glossy, and Josh looked forward to learning what flavor of lip gloss it was.
“Hi, there.” Hayley’s smile was wide.
They exchanged a warm embrace. Josh breathed in her sexy, floral, orange-blossom scent. It was temptation itself. He pulled her closer and folded her into his arms, cursing Alaska’s necessary winter parkas, which were too bulky to feel much of her curvaceous body beneath.
“Interesting way to start a date,” he murmured. “Trying to drive a guy crazy with how good you smell.”
She pulled back, her hazel eyes delighted by his compliment. “I started my day with a bubble bath.”
“Trying to put a certain image in my head, I see. You. Bubbles. Naked.”
“Best way to start the day,” she said. “So are you looking forward to a long afternoon of shopping?”
“Doesn’t every man look forward to a long afternoon of shopping?” He grinned. “I’ll tell you what I’m looking forward to—a drink before we start.”
“Sounds good to me.”
He put his arm around her as they walked inside. It felt natural, and by the way her smile broadened, he could tell she didn’t mind. While they waited to be seated, Josh helped her out of her coat, appreciating the reveal of a hip-hugging black cashmere sweater beneath.
Hayley caught his glance. “I suppose a turtleneck isn’t very sexy,” she said.
“Well, if your date wants to kiss your neck, he’s going to have a difficult time.”
“I’m not sure I should let a man kiss my neck on a first date. Or should I? You tell me, dating coach.”
“Probably not, but you should make him want to,” Josh said. “Early dates are all about the wanting.”
“I see.” She gave him a teasing look. “So in other words, I should play hard to get?”
“Not with me.”
She linked her arm through his. “Okay. No hard-to-get with you.”
It was midday, and Shackleton’s wasn’t busy. The hostess led them to the booths along the side and let them choose which of the four empty available booths they wanted. Josh chose the most private one.
As he slid into the booth opposite Hayley, the low-hanging spotlight above the table illuminated the amber glow of her hair. Her skin looked almost porcelain, like a doll’s complexion. He imagined how soft her skin would be, how willingly her plush lips would open to his kiss. Hayley was like a delectable dessert in front of him. Wait, he told himself. But he knew he couldn’t wait much longer to partake. She was too tempting.
“Let’s do a shot,” he said. “A pre-shopping shot.”
“Fine by me,” she said. “You’re in charge today, Josh.”
The way she said it made Josh think she wasn’t just referring to their drink order. He grinned.
When the waitress came by, Josh ordered two shots of tequila with beer chasers. Once delivered, Josh held up his shot glass. “Ready?”
Hayley put her glass to her lips and threw it back like a pro, slapping the shot glass on the tabletop when finished. “Whew,” she said. “That’ll warm the belly.”
He was impressed she hadn’t grimaced after doing the shot. Not many women were game like that. He raised the beer in tribute, and they drank.
“Denali’s beautiful today,” she said, looking out the window, which gave them a crystal clear view of Denali with its heavy winter mantle of snow. Sunlight sparkled off the fresh white snowfall from the night before.
“You’re beautiful today,” he found himself saying.
Hayley blushed. “Oh! Okay, um … thank you?”
“No, no, no,” he said. “You’ve got to own it. Let’s try again. Hayley, you’re beautiful. You’ve got this glow about you that’s … well, it makes a guy want to come close.”
“Thank you,” she said with emphasis, and then patted the bench beside her. “So come on over if you want.”
Oh, Hayley, he thought as he rose to join her. Trust me, I want.
“That’s good advice,” she said, tucking a stray piece of hair behind her ear “I didn’t have the nicest family, and I guess I’m still not used to compliments.” Then she cringed. “Too much? Was that too much for a first date?”
“Maybe, but since this is both our first and last date, I think we should take things wherever they lead.” He thought briefly of his brother, who limited his relationships to short ones with definite end dates, and he understood the appeal. “And I want to know everything about you. Intensely.”
“You do, do you?” She snuggled closer into the arm he’d stretched across the back of the booth. “You know, that’s the first word that came to mind when I saw you at the Sled Dog. Intense. Which is kind of funny for a guy who insists he wants to be casual.”
“Maybe I want to be casually intense.” He sipped his beer. “Or intensely casual.”
“Aren’t those the same thing?”
“Maybe.”
“You want relationships on your own terms, that’s for sure,” she said.
He eyed her. “Is that a bad thing?”
“Not at all,” she said. “I do, too.” She searched his eyes. “So what’s the first word that came to mind when you saw me?”
“Soft.” He felt unexpectedly embarrassed to say it. Not embarrassed, exactly, but … well … vulnerable.
“Oh, yeah.” Hayley’s laugh was like a windchime, light and welcome. “You’re the guy who wanted to pet my sweater.”
“That’s right,” he said. “I’m that weirdo. So, tell me. What’s a typical question you’d ask a guy on a first date?”
Her eyes lightened, like they were playing a game and she was having fun. “What’s your spirit animal?”
He burst out laughing. “What the hell is a spirit animal?”
“Come on, play along,” she said. “What’s the first animal that comes to mind?”
“A wolf,” he said.
“Okay, let’s look it up.”
She dug into her purse for her phone, typed in her search parameters, and began reading out loud.
“Wolves are wild animals, beautiful creatures of mystery that cannot be domesticated,” she said, looking up at him keenly. She continued, “They have a sharp intelligence, a deep connection with their instincts. The wolf roams the wild with an appetite for freedom. At the same time, they’re aware of the importance of social connections.”
“That fits me to a T,” he said, surprised. “Maybe I am a wolf.”
“Sharp intelligence?” Hayley said, her tone teasingly doubtful. “I don’t know about that.”
“Hey.” Their legs were close under the table, so he knocked his into hers.
She did the same back, tilting her face up toward his, and damn, she was close enough to kiss. “Hey what?”
“Go on.”
“A wolf is a pathfinder by nature.” She leaned into him as she read, and he relished the feel of her body tucked into his and the intoxicating scent of her hair. “When a wolf shows up in your life, he will be your protector as you make your journey on a new, unexplored path, learning to trust your instincts as a wolf trusts his.” She looked at him, her jaw dropping slightly. “This is kind of amazing. You’re literally helping me find my dating path.”
Or not, he thought. The idea of setting her off on a dating journey that didn’t include him was more distasteful by the minute. You’re a wolf, dude, he had to remind himself. Roam free.
“What’s your spirit animal?” he asked.
“I have no idea,” she said. “I’ve really never thought about it before.”
He studied her, trying to think what animal she reminded him of. She was kind, which ruled out any predatory animals. Her spirit felt bright. Beautiful. Dancing on the wind. And her long black eyelashes looked feathery.
“Look up butterfly,” he said.
“Butterfly? You thin
k?”
“Let’s see what it says.”
Hayley read aloud. “The butterfly is a symbol of powerful transformation. Massive changes are afoot. Try not to control the change, but simply allow it to flow through and around you.” She looked at Josh. “This is kind of cool. I’m okay with all that. Transformation? Massive changes?” She continued reading. “Butterflies bring color and joy to your life, and remind you that life will cause you to change, but there can be beauty and elevation in the change.”
“You are a butterfly,” he said, because she indeed made his soul feel light. “You are color and joy.”
“Careful,” she said with a playful tone. “I might cause you to change.”
Unexpectedly emotional, he cleared his throat and took a drink of his beer. “So it occurred to me I might not be the best person to help you with this dating coach thing, because I’ve never had what you’re trying to get.”
She looked surprised. “You’ve never been in love?”
“No. I was thinking about it this morning. I don’t usually share much of my inner world, I guess you could say, and I think being vulnerable with a person is part of being in love, isn’t it? Feeling safe in your vulnerability?”
He felt vulnerable even suggesting it, but Hayley put a hand over her heart, as if touched.
“Lone wolf,” she said. “You stand apart from people and you protect them, but you don’t expect them to protect you. You don’t show them your wounds, but maybe they can’t heal until you do.”
Josh looked into Hayley’s warm, frank eyes. What he saw was receptivity. Without quite realizing what he was doing, he said, “I’ve seen a lot. Death. Senseless shit. Men and women have died in my arms, and there wasn’t a damn thing I could do about it.”
Hayley’s gaze was soft. She said nothing, but rather listened quietly, her hands clasped gently on the table in front of her.
“So yeah,” he continued. “I do have wounds. And that’s not something I want to inflict on anyone else.”
“That’s understandable,” she said. “You have your ways of coping, and maybe those ways aren’t compatible with a relationship right now. I get it.”
“Do you?” Josh had the sudden sense that he wasn’t the dating coach anymore, and he felt Hayley’s perception of his emotional landscape. That’s why she’s a good matchmaker, he thought ruefully. She’s a natural at finding out what people are seeking.
“But Josh,” she said, “We all have wounds. Nobody gets through life unscathed. Don’t give up on love. The right woman? She’ll be the salve, not the problem.”
You’re my salve, Josh caught himself thinking, and forced himself to stop that line of thought in its tracks. How had Hayley managed to get him to reveal so much? Confiding in her felt all too right, and that scared him. He needed to steer the conversation back to where it should have been all along: on Hayley and how she could improve her love life.
“And you?” he said. “I wonder if the butterfly gives enough of herself, or if she flutters away.”
“I definitely flutter away.” She sipped her drink. “I don’t trust men—I haven’t trusted men—to ever really be there for me. To want me, I guess.”
“Why not? You’re so—” He grinned as he came up with the right descriptor. “Goddamned want-able. So why would you think men don’t want you?”
She shrugged. “The usual bullshit. I’ve been cheated on by a few boyfriends. That, and a bad childhood, and being completely rejected by my parents … geez, no wonder I haven’t found a guy. I’m a total mess!”
“Hardly,” he assured her.
“Anyway, let’s get back to first date stuff,” she said. “Flirty and fun. Talking about emotional scars is neither of those things.”
“Okay,” he said. “As long as you realize this is the very epitome of fluttering away, and maybe that’s what’s holding you back from finding the love you claim you want.”
“Not just claim,” she said. Her tone was serious, but her eyes were full of light. “Trust me, Josh, I want love—a partner to go through life with—and I’m not going to stop looking until I find it.” She sat back a bit, facing him sideways in the booth. “So! How are you going to dress me today, dating coach?”
“In a way that makes me want to undress you,” he said.
Her laugh was low, a little throaty. “Good one.”
“Well, isn’t that what you’re going for? Sexy? How do you advise your female clients to dress?”
“I tell them to dress in a way that when they walk into a room, every head turns. The women should admire them, and the men should want to—” She stopped, blushed a little, and Josh knew exactly where she’d been going.
“The men should want to what?” he probed, leaning forward.
“I can’t say it in polite company.”
“Trust me, Hayley, I’m not polite company.” He dipped his head close to hers, inhaling her luxurious scent. “The men should want to what?” he said again softly.
Go there, he implored her silently, already aroused. Talk dirty to me, Hayley.
She blinked her delicate butterfly lashes at him, smiled in the innocently seductive way she had about her, and then cupped her soft hand around his ear.
“The men should want to fuck me,” she whispered.
All Josh heard was, Fuck me. Nothing about about men in general, only him in particular. Him right now. He’d take her right there if he could. He sat back, leaned away from her a little bit, and studied her. She gazed at him straight on and wasn’t at all embarrassed. The corner of her mouth was turned up in a knowing smile.
“Polite company, my ass,” he said. “You’re trying to get me all riled up.”
She raised her eyebrows. “Is it working?”
Faux first date propriety be damned—he couldn’t wait to kiss her any longer. He brought his hand to the back of her neck, guiding her closer, and Hayley’s lips opened for him. They were soft. Welcoming. Wanting. She tasted of tequila and beer and a summer day that never ends.
“You tell me,” he said.
Her hand moved across his thigh and stroked him through his jeans. She opened her mouth further, deepening the kiss. Deepening the stroking. Passion ignited as their tongues explored, and minutes might have passed, or hours. Josh forgot where he was for a moment as she ratcheted his desire to an almost unbearable level
“I’d say it’s working,” she whispered.
She withdrew her hand and placed it on his thigh. He took her hand in his and brought her close, so her chest was against his.
“Trust me,” he whispered in her ear, enjoying the feel of the little shiver she gave when she felt his warm breath. “Men want to fuck you, Hayley.”
“But do you?” she whispered back, making him shiver when she softly bit his earlobe before taking it into her mouth and suckling it.
He almost couldn’t stand how bad he wanted her. He felt that only with her would he be complete. It was like he’d been waiting for her and her kindness and her kiss his whole life.
The thought scared him. He pulled away and took a long, steadying drink of his beer.
Hayley watched him with an amused smile. “Got any feedback for me? Any techniques I should improve so I can land the man of my dreams?”
Josh was rattled. He was feeling things he hadn’t been expecting to feel—a compatibility, a wanting. A vague jealousy at the idea he was supposed to help her fix whatever her perceived flaws were and then just turn her over to another man so she could fall in love with him and get her happily ever after. He had an inkling that maybe he wasn’t ready to let her go after all, and instead wanted to keep her for himself.
That maybe the lone wolf no longer wanted to be so alone.
10
Hayley left Shackleton’s with Josh feeling like they’d done a deep dive into getting to know each other. Certainly, he’d gotten her all lusty and sexy-feeling, which was the right frame of mind for the kind of shopping she’d be doing. She was ready to try on what
ever Josh suggested, and she planned to study his gorgeous brown eyes as they expressed what he really thought about the clothing she tried on.
Although it was the only true shopping mall within a hundred miles, the Nanook Valley Mall was still small, with fewer than seventy stores. It was laid out in a cross pattern with a center food court and a coat check, where Josh and Hayley dropped off their bulky parkas.
“Okay,” Hayley said, spreading her arms. “Make me sexy.”
“Sexier,” he corrected her and glanced around. “Where do you usually shop?”
“Um … the Gap?”
“Gap’s the opposite of sexy.” He glanced at a familiar pink storefront and smiled. “How about starting with Victoria’s Secret?”
She already wore alluring undergarments; she considered them one of life’s indispensable little luxuries. But of course, Josh didn’t know that—yet.
She punched his arm playfully. “You’d like that, wouldn’t you?”
“I would indeed.”
“Sorry, but I think we’re going to have to start with what people actually see first.”
“Let’s pick an occasion. An event you want to look good for. What’s the thing tonight?”
“A business mixer,” she said. “It’s not fancy or anything, but there might be new people there.”
He put his arm around her as they began to walk. “You do know you’re already sexy, right?”
“The goal is to get every head to turn,” she reminded him as she leaned into him, loving the feel of walking together. “At this point, that’s not happening.”
“Well, my head turned when I saw you for the first time at your Singles Night.”
It had, and she’d never forget the way it had made her feel—like they belonged together. Like she was his. Damn it, Josh. Why aren’t you available?
“You and nobody else,” she said.
“I doubt that’s true. Hey, how about that place?” He pointed ahead to a store called Venus and Vixen.
Bring Your Heart (Golden Falls Fire Book 2) Page 8
