“Hey!” she said with a smile as Cassie approached her, looking fashionably New York-ish even in Alaska, with a white cashmere scarf and matching knit hat, which nicely offset the black fur collar on her coat. Hayley handed her the cocoa. “You look so cute! Are you enjoying your first Golden Falls tree lighting ceremony?”
“I love it,” Cassie said, looking around at all the cheerful people. “I’m starting to get to know a decent number of people here, and they go out of their way to say hi when they see me. That would never happen in New York. There, it can take years to make friends because everyone’s too busy, and they’re not particularly friendly to begin with.”
“Everyone loves you because you’re a hero,” Hayley said. “People will never forget how you helped rescue those Boy Scouts on Denali.”
“I’m getting an award, did I tell you?” She blushed, but Hayley could tell she was proud, too. “I guess the mayor’s going to recognize me on Soup Day—whatever that is.”
“Soup Day!” Hayley smiled. “I love Soup Day!”
She explained it was a potluck soup and chili event held in the clubhouse of the skating rink on New Year’s Day. In addition to soup and skating, there was a reflection back on the previous year—births, deaths, deeds of heroism—and a looking forward to the future.
“Let’s walk around,” Cassie said. “I have a few minutes before I have to be back on the air.”
Sipping their cocoa, the two women wandered from booth to booth, checking out the goods being sold by the various community groups, after which Hayley steered Cassie toward the bonfire.
“Evan and I ended things,” she said as they walked.
Cassie gave her a sideways glance. “I wondered about those vibes at Thanksgiving. I’m sorry to hear that. What happened?”
“Josh happened.”
“Oh, shit,” Cassie said.
“Oh shit’s right.” She told Cassie how Josh had put up incriminating information at Singles Night, directly implying he had feelings for her. “And this is after he’d already met Evan and knew we were together and after he had several chances in which I basically offered myself up to him and he turned me down. So what the hell? Oh! And then he was being way friendly with Shannon Steele! It was like he wanted to ruin what I had and also rub in my face that he didn’t want me.”
“He’s an idiot.” Cassie shook her head. “And there’s Shannon right there. Let’s talk to her and find out what happened.” Not waiting for Hayley to agree, she called ahead to Shannon, who was already at the bonfire with two other people. “Yo, Shannon! Shannon Steele!”
Shannon turned and held out her arms to hug them as they approached. “Hey, you guys! Hayley, do you know these guys yet? This is my brother, Tom.”
“Nice to meet you,” Hayley said, shaking Tom’s hand.
“And this,” Shannon said, gesturing to the tall man next to her, “is Jack Barnes. Josh’s brother.”
“Oh!” Hayley said, surprised even as she saw the family resemblance. “The elusive Jack Barnes.”
“Oh, no!” He laughed. “Has my reputation preceded me?”
“A little bit,” she said. “I know your dad and brother. And Maggie, too.”
“Ah.” He nodded. “Well, I hope you haven’t heard too many terrible things about me.”
As the others in the group began chatting amongst themselves, Jack made a place for Hayley next to him. Looking to be in his mid-thirties, he was yet another handsome, tall Barnes man, with thick dark hair and honest brown eyes. Everything about him oozed strength—his jaw, his posture, his solid frame—and he looked richly dapper in a dark green Woolrich parka. His strong resemblance to Josh, and his close relation, made Hayley feel slightly nervous around him.
“Who’s taller?” she asked. “You or Josh?”
“Josh is taller by an inch, and he never lets me forget it.” Jack’s smile showed off his laugh lines, and it was disarming, making him look younger and kinder. “I promise I’m not as awful as my family makes me out to be. I’m actually a decent human being.”
“I’m sure you are,” Hayley said. “And I know how it can be with family stuff. I haven’t spoken to either of my parents in over eight years. Some things are unforgivable, but they’re between the people involved.”
“Amen,” he said. “So how do you know my brother?”
Hayley considered how much to tell him. She knew the relationship between the brothers was tense sometimes, but that was their issue, not hers. She decided to be open with him. Or open-ish.
“You’re going to laugh, but he was my dating coach.”
Jack did laugh. “My brother, a dating coach? First, what is a dating coach? And second, why do you need one?”
“Because I’m hopeless when it comes to finding love.”
Shannon, who seemed able to listen to numerous conversations at the same time, piped back up. “Now ask Hayley what she does for a living.”
“I’m a professional matchmaker,” she said in answer to Jack’s curious expression.
“I’ve heard of you!” His eyes lit up. “I’m good friends with Andrew Blake. He was my captain when I was a rookie. You did some kind of bachelor profile on him or something?”
“I did! Andrew’s a sweetheart. I did one of your brother, too. It’s going live first thing Monday morning.”
“Josh is looking for love?” he said doubtfully. “That’s a new one to me.”
“He’s not looking for love,” she said. “He was doing me a favor. See, I have this partnership with Devotion.com—you know, the dating website? I was already doing profiles on eligible single men here, but they wanted a profile on me, too, as the face of their new personal matchmaker service. Me, and my own love story success. Thus, why I asked Josh to help me with my dating issues.”
“I find this so intriguing.”
Shannon turned back to Hayley yet again, and this time gripped Hayley’s forearms.
“I didn’t sleep with Josh, by the way,” she said, loud enough for anyone in the circle to hear. Jack’s eyebrows rose, amused. “Cassie told me you were worried I might have.”
“Curiouser and curiouser,” Jack said, peering at Hayley.
“It’s not my business,” Hayley told Shannon. “You guys are welcome to do whatever you want together. Or not.”
“But you care, obviously,” Shannon said, her arms still on Hayley’s in an affectionate way.
“He ruined things for me with Evan Taylor,” Hayley said quietly. “He saw I had a chance with someone and he ruined it—so, no. I don’t care.”
“He’s so dense about stuff like that,” Shannon said. “We all know that.”
When she turned away again, Hayley was left facing Jack, and she looked at him and sighed, weary from the idea of having to explain things further. His kind smile told her there was no need.
“Can I buy you a fry bread?” he said. “I like to get one every year at this event.”
She smiled. “I’d love one.”
They walked together to the food truck and ate the warm sweetened bread during the Christmas tree lighting ceremony. Maggie showed up, tanned and happy from her trip to Florida, and joined their group. They sang Christmas carols, and as they sang, a light snow began to fall. It was a picture-perfect moment.
Family, Hayley thought, looking at the people gathered around the Christmas tree, smiling at Claire, who was standing with the mayor and Andrew Blake and the other members of the city council. These are my people, and this is my family.
It didn’t matter if she didn’t have a man who loved her. It didn’t even matter if her single status ended the potential windfall of business success a partnership with Devotion.com could win her.
She had her Golden Falls family, and that could be enough.
25
Josh drove to Hayley’s apartment as fast as he safely could, desperate to see her, desperate to ask her one simple thing.
He’d been out on the last long training run with the dogs in preparation for
the upcoming Akpaliki Taurtut race, working through a mental checklist of all the things he still had to do—pack the camping gear and drop it at the registration site, get the dogs’ veterinary paperwork ready for check-in, and get the trailer hooked up to transport the dogs to the start of the race. Normally, Bruce would do much of the prep work, but he was under the weather with a cold, cough, and low-grade fever. Josh ordered him to rest to better ensure he’d be healthy for race weekend.
When he got home from the run, Maggie had just arrived back from the Christmas tree lighting festivities downtown. She filled him in on everyone she’d seen, including the fact she’d come across Jack and Hayley hanging out together, laughing and eating Alaskan fry bread. They’d invited her to go for a drink with them afterwards at the Pioneer Hotel, but she was jet-lagged and said no, and they’d gone on without her.
No, Josh thought. No, no, no. Not going to happen.
He set out minutes later for her apartment, and when he arrived, he looked around. Jack’s truck was nowhere to be seen, but he could have parked elsewhere for the ceremony in the park and they could have walked back together from the Pioneer.
His heart raced. Hayley and Jack were a lot alike. He’d noticed it at the first dinner he’d shared with Hayley at the North Star Café, how similar she was to his brother. Both were bright, friendly, community-focused, and seen as emerging leaders in Golden Falls. And the thought of them together killed him.
Jack would never do something so stupid as to leave Hayley out in the cold, alone, in the snowy darkness. Jack would never tell a warm, loving woman like Hayley he wasn’t interested in a long-term relationship. And Jack sure as hell would never let a week go by without apologizing for a wrong he’d done her.
He ran up the stairs and knocked twice on her door. He fidgeted outside. Was she not home? Was she still at the bar with Jack? Maybe he should go over there. Plop down at their table and say hell no to whatever those two were thinking of doing.
He rapped again on her door, but in his mind, he was already halfway down the stairs on his way to the Pioneer Hotel. Of course Jack would take her there, to the classiest bar in town. He had an appetite for the finer things in life … as did Hayley.
When the door opened, she stood like an apparition before him. Her hair was up, its damp wisps indicating she’d just had a bath. She was barefoot and wore a short grey silk nightgown so sexy it broke his heart.
“Is my brother here?” It came out gruffly, more forceful than he’d wanted. “Maggie said you left the park with him.”
Saying nothing, Hayley sighed and stepped back from the doorway so he could enter.
Josh looked around to see if Jack’s coat or gloves were tossed anywhere, which they were not. Realizing he wasn’t there, Josh’s frantic heart calmed a bit. She’d been watching TV, a classic movie she’d paused to answer the door. A man and a woman in fedora hats stood frozen on screen, close enough to kiss, although it was clear from their painful expressions they wouldn’t.
“Is that Humphrey Bogart?” he asked.
Hayley nodded. “And Ingrid Bergman. Casablanca. 1942.”
“I’ve never seen it, if you can believe it.”
“You’re missing out, Josh.” It was clear to him she meant more than the movie. “The tragic consequences of love in wartime.”
“Aren’t you cold?” he asked, taking in all her creamy exposed skin. He entered the room further, got the soft blanket from the couch which she’d been cuddling under, and wrapped her in it. She stood still, without emotion, and let him.
He gripped the blanket so it stayed closed around her.
“You can’t date my brother,” he said. “You just can’t. It would kill me.”
“You can’t tell me what to do, Josh.” Her eyes were cool, concealing the anger her words conveyed.
She rejected the blanket he’d put around her. Shrugged it off and stepped away from him. Damn, she was alluring when she moved in that short nightie, its thin silk flowing across her skin, showing off the hint of her hipbones and the curve of her breasts. The lack of panty lines indicated she was naked beneath it, and what he wouldn’t give to make love to her once more. To take her right there. A yearning overcame him, and he followed her. Near the fireplace, she held her ground and looked at him with defiant, smoldering eyes.
“Maybe I can’t tell you what to do, but I can tell you what I want,” he said.
He heard her sharp intake of breath, almost a gasp, familiar from the two times they’d been together, and he knew she wanted him, too. When he reached behind her head and softly gripped the nape of her neck, tilting her lips toward his, she let him. He kissed her, hard, and she kissed him back. With his free hand, he teased a nipple with firm, circular motions. She moaned, moved closer, and clutched the lapels of his jacket.
“I can’t get enough of you,” he said, moving his lips from her mouth to her jawline and then to her neck, which was so soft he could only kiss it gently. And her earlobe … that he could nibble. And suck on. And—
All of a sudden, he felt her body tense, and she pushed him away.
“You know what? Stop.” She looked to be near tears. “You can’t have it both ways, Josh. You can’t have me and reject me at the same time. And you can’t ruin things for me with other men.”
“How am I ruining things for you?”
“You ruined things between me and Evan by posting what you did on the projector wall at Singles Night. He dumped me because of it. You knew perfectly well he’d know it was you saying those things, and that you were referring to me.”
She was right—he had known what he was doing and that it might cause problems. The truth was that seeing them together at the Sled Dog, laughing and touching and flirting and becoming a couple, irked the hell out of him. He should be the one making her laugh. He should be the one she looked to with teasing eyes. At the same time, he’d known how illogical his jealousy was. He’d walked away from her, after all.
“Hayley, I—” He paused, helpless to explain himself.
“Don’t even,” she said. “Don’t make any excuse for your behavior.”
“I was going to say I’m sorry.”
“It doesn’t matter if you’re sorry—you still ruined things!”
“I just … I wanted you to know that letting you go wasn’t easy. But I shouldn’t have projected it onto a wall in front of your new boyfriend.”
She snorted dismissively at his words and then crossed the living room, going to her bedroom. Josh watched longingly as the swish of her short slip teased him, invited him to follow. He stayed put, though, and when she came back a few seconds later while pulling a matching robe over the nightie, keeping her distance, he understood he’d been right to tamper his desire. She locked eyes with him as she tied the sash of the robe around her waist and gave him a little smile, almost as if it was against her better instincts.
Home, he thought. This was what being at home with Hayley would be like, her walking around barefoot in a silk nightgown, giving him a smile as she closed a robe around her, knowing he’d want to open it immediately. Even when they’d argue, he’d want to open that robe.
He moved toward her, hoping to finagle a way to do just that, to express with his body what he couldn’t with his words. He stopped a few feet away from her. Feeling the awkwardness of his bulky jacket contrasted with her lack of clothing, he took his jacket off, tossed it on a chair, and felt his chest expand as he faced her. Blood rushed to other parts, too.
“I’m sorry I was selfish,” he said. “I’m sorry I put it up for your date to see. And most of all, Hayley, I’m sorry about what happened on the trail, that I left you there by yourself.”
Anger, then lust, then anger, then lust cycled through Hayley’s gorgeous hazel eyes. He took a step closer, hoping her lust would win out. He wanted his hands on that silk. He wanted her on top of him, in control. She might spurn him at first, ride him for her pleasure alone, but eventually she would soften toward him and the wisps o
f her hair would tickle his face. Her lips would find their way to his, and they would taste like honey and Hayley and everything good.
But unfortunately, her lust did not win out.
“You left me alone in the woods,” she said, her tone punctuated by accusation. “Do you know how scared I was? I haven’t been alone in nature ever, because I’m terrified of getting lost, Josh. Terrified. Unreasonably so.”
“I had no idea,” he said. “Why didn’t you say something?”
“You said in the profile interview you’d take a woman on a sled ride as a test.” Tears pooled in her eyes. “I guess I thought you were testing me, and I wanted to pass the test.”
His heart squeezed in exquisite pain. How could he have been such an idiot?
“Hey, hey,” he said softly. “Don’t cry.” He saw how she was shaking, and he pulled her to him and cradled her face in his hands and wiped her tears away. Her skin was smooth and warm, soft to the touch. “I promise I wasn’t testing you.”
“Maybe not consciously, but you’ve been testing me this whole time. You test all women, looking for reasons why they’ll never be right for you.”
Her words stung, but he pushed them aside, buried them in the deep recesses of his heart, along with all the other uncomfortable truths he tried to ignore.
“You were safe.” His hands were on her shoulders now, tantalizingly close to the flimsy spaghetti straps of her nightie, which would be so easy to slip off. “I knew nothing would happen to you, and it didn’t. Hayley, I’d never let anything happen to you.” He meant it. He felt protective of her. Possessive. He moved a thumb under one of her spaghetti straps and pulled it off her shoulder. “I keep people safe—it’s what I do.”
He felt her resistance to him wavering as she drew her body into his touch.
“You say I don’t reveal myself to men,” she said. “Well, here’s a revealing story. When I was a kid, eight years old, my mom was throwing one of her massive parties, raising money for some charity, drinking cocktails and hobnobbing with her rich friends, completely neglecting my brother and me like she always did. My older brother went off with his friends and left me alone upstairs. I had math homework due the next day—I was never good at math—and I needed help with it. My dad works in finance, so I knew he could help me.
Bring Your Heart (Golden Falls Fire Book 2) Page 22
