Mrs. Amazing and the Seed

by Julie Lavender

  “Why, it’s Mistress Bublem Eeb” exclaimed Mr. Keeze. “She’s one of my favorite Llopinators. Quite a daly, oh no, I mean, quite a lady. Greetings, Mistress Eeb!” “Mistress Eeb” seemed to move her mammoth body as if to offer a nod of response.

  As she hovered over them and landed, they could see jointed appendages with razor-sharp edges, which served as her landing gear. These extended down from her body and rested on the Sir Raneth and brushed up against the Microspangoria tubes on which the family sat, pasted to the Llopens.

  Suddenly, Llopens everywhere around them began to cheer with abandon, for now many of their peppy, tacky wee selves were sticking to the limbs of the Llopinator and, along with them, stuck the Faultsoms!

  “Here we go boys!” the Llopens cried.

  “We’ll soon be off!”

  “Let’s hit it!”

  “We’re on board now!”

  The Faultsoms were swimming in the chatter of the Llopens, trying to figure out what they were so excited about, when suddenly the family heard mighty whooshing, slurping noises coming from inside the creature that Mr. Keeze called “Mistress Bublem Eeb.” This was intermittently followed by what seemed to them to be the sound of pleasure. Yes, in between the slurping noises they heard a satisfied hum that expressed what they intuitively knew was delight. This was confirmed when they heard Mr. Keeze call out to her.

  “That’s it, Mistress Eeb, enjoy the Tenarc! I know you relish it so.”

  The air grew still for a few moments, and then, without warning, the creature to which their Llopens were now affixed took to the sky. Suddenly Mr. Keeze and the Faultsoms, stuck to their Llopens, were whisked away.

  “My favorite part of the job — this is!” they heard Mr. Keeze’s voice exclaiming,

  “Wee! Wee!” Chief squealed.

  “This is awesome!” Chance was exploding with excitement.

  “Wha-aa! Whooo hoo!” Charleston felt the thrill of the liftoff.

  “Wow, we’re flying!” Frank was in shock.

  Faye was starting to get queasy, “I think I’m going to be sick…”

  “Whoah…This is cool!” Constance called.

  It was quite a thrill at that. Constance, Charleston, Chance, Chief, Frank, and Faye were treated to the ride of their lives, as the Llopinator, Mistress Bublem Eeb, lifted off and maneuvered quickly from left to right, up and down, swooping and weaving in and out and around massive colorful landscapes that seemed to erupt before them out of nowhere. The creature had an agility and grace apparent to her passengers, even though they were merely microscopic specs caught on her landing gear.

  As the family was transported from one destination to another, intoxicating aromas like the one they had experienced just before Mistress Eeb first arrived were billowing around them and filling their senses with pleasure. It seemed to Faye and to Constance that the fragrances were like trails leading the Llopinator-thing to the glorious basins and summits of hues and textures that she made her way in and out of.

  Now and again, she would stop and slurp and hum and rejoice. The Faultsoms found themselves enchanted by the gigantic Mistress Eeb, and they felt a strange empathy with her, whatever she might be. Indeed, they discovered they had a capacity to perceive her feelings and even her personality. Years later, when they looked back on their fantastic flight that day, they recounted to one another how Mistress Bublem Eeb seemed to them to be like an endearing child, earnestly absorbed in the joyous business of exploring a backyard on a fine summer’s day.

  And what a day it was! They could hardly trust their senses. The Faultsoms were flying around spectacular mountains and valleys of the most vivid pinks, purples, golds, and reds. Sometimes they would land right in the middle of a canyon of saturated color and fragrance, and as they did, various troops of Llopens would disembark Mistress Eeb as they stuck themselves to the surface she landed on. Going on their way they would call out to one another:

  “It looks like this is where I’ll get off, lads…”

  “And us, too.”

  “Time to deploy! We’re off to Down and Dig!”

  “And to Generate!”

  “Ho, ho, yes — yes!”

  “Generate!”

  “Generate, that’s just what Xartief has charged us to do!”

  “Xartief be extolled!” They would exclaim among themselves.

  The Faultsoms overheard the Llopen chatter and tried to make sense of it. They Wondered about the Llopens’ strange banter and about this “Xartief” they spoke of so exultantly. How odd this word made them feel when they heard it. There was a quickening in their hearts each time it was spoken, but they never had a moment to ponder the feeling. Especially not when they found themselves taking off again and noticing that most of the Llopens nearest to them had been left behind. When Frank saw this, his inner alarm bell began to ring and he began to worry. Were his wife and kids still on board Mistress Eeb?

  Desperately he tried to take a roll-call, shouting as loudly as he possibly could:

  “Is everyone still on this Eeb thing? Please tell me if you are here!” Frank could barely make out the voices that called back just as they began to take off.

  “I’m here, honey,” Faye called out.

  “Dad! I’m here, it’s me Dad.”

  “Me too…!”

  “Ith me, Papa!”

  Frank heard the responses of his wife and his three sons.

  Straight up they whooshed…up, up, and away. If they could have heard the screeching, terrified sound coming from below them they would have recognized that it Constance screaming with all her might.

  “Dad, I’m down here! Help! Don’t leave…I’m stuck here — I’m stuck! Don’t leave me! Please!”

  But Frank could not hear her voice, nor could the other Faultsoms. They were rising up and flying away…into the wild blue Wonder.

  Alone. Her family was gone and constance was alone — with a bunch of weird, annoying, overgrown lint balls who would not stop chattering and fussing. They reminded Constance of her immature, adolescent brothers at their worst. And if that weren’t bad enough, she was covered in their goop on some freakish island of pink, watching her family fly away on a creepy brown monster-copter!

  A wave of panic hit her as she stared up at the sky and caught her last glimpse of their Llopinator, Mistress Eeb, flying away. For a brief moment Constance thought there was something familiar about her. What did the creature remind her of? She wasn’t sure, but why did that even matter now? Constance was in the strangest crisis imaginable, overwhelmed and terrified. She started to cry.

  Rivers of tears flowed from her eyes, releasing the pent up anxiety and sadness she had held inside for months and spilling onto her Llopen, which seemed to lap up her tears instantly. She cried and cried, and the more she cried, the more she moistened the Llopen, causing it to swell in size around her, making her all the more miserable.

  “This is just horrid! My family is gone and I have no idea where I am. How could this happen? Oh, what am I noging do to? NO! What am I going to do?” Now she was really frightened, for she was starting to talk like Mr. Keeze and getting her words all fuddled. This really was a mess.

  She felt lost, trapped, and icky, and was just about to completely fall apart, when she heard a faint voice coming from not so very far away.

  “Now now, Amazeling Constance, do not despair.” It was the voice of Mr. Keeze, who had been fully occupied mediating a guffuffle that had broken out among the local Llopens. It seemed they were vying with one another for the opportunity to disembark and determine who got to stay and who should leave with Mistress Eeb.

  Constance continued her wailing as Mr. Keeze lobbed words of comfort her way.

  “Everything here happens just as it should, but never as expected, my dear. What would be the Wonder in that? You and I have things explore. Let’s get to it, shall we?”

  At that, Constance found herself lifted up and out of her Llopen, noticing that her panic and frustration were also
lifting as the gooey, globby stuff she was covered in mysteriously melted away. What a relief! But now she was floating down, around, and inside the bright pink landscape upon which Mistress Eeb had left her, and what a refreshing feeling it was! She was lighter than the air on which she was blown about inside the deep yawning cavern below her that sunk precipitously out of sight.

  Fascinating sculptures, what seemed like rock formations, and promontories reached out toward her from the walls of the canyon as Constance flitted past them, swirling lower and lower around a vast pipelike central structure that rose up from the bottom of the canyon and grew up and out of the top. In fact, Constance thought that this pole of sorts might have been the supporting shaft under Mistress Eeb’s landing pad in the center of the immense pink gorge.

  But there was no figuring out all of that now, for during her airy descent, Constance was filled with exhilaration as hues and shapes, light and shadows stimulated and overwhelmed her red puffy eyes. A joyously honeyed fragrance tickled her nose.

  “Haaaaaa…Heeee!” She heard the childlike squeals of Mr. Keeze rising around her as well.

  “Hellooooo there, Lady Lyste, with your terriiiific Mistag on top! Mistress Eeeeb dropped us off upon it!” he shouted to the imposing center pole as he floated around it.

  “Fa—vor—ite part of the boj—no the job thissss issssss!” He delighted. “Oh the joys of unlocking the Wo—nnnn—dddder of it all!”

  “Oh Mr. Keeeeezzzeee! I’m sooo glad you are heeeeeere…,” Constance called out, her stomach jumping into her throat, as she floated through the air. “Ooooohh ohheeee!” she cried in nervous excitement.

  They were flitting here and there like feathers riding a down draft. Before they reached what looked to be the very bottom, Constance suddenly felt herself being sucked toward a gargantuan bulge at the base of “Lady Lyste,” the center pole they had been floating around. She let out a scream as she felt herself rushing toward it fast and faster. Within moments, Constance was a hair’s breadth from colliding with the bulge!

  “Brace yourself, Constance!” Mr. Keeze shouted. Then he addressed the looming, bulging structure.

  “Make way! We are coming in, Madame Yorav!”

  But before “Madame Yorav” could respond, Constance felt herself making contact with her. To her surprise, instead of feeling her body burst into a billion little pieces, she felt herself plunge deep into the giant bulge.

  “Hoo hooo! Constance, you’re inside Madame Yorav! I’m right behind you!” Mr. Keeze whooped.

  Now, as they both penetrated more deeply, the journey felt rubbery and smelled musty in some way. Constance had a sense of fluid and fiber, as though they were traveling through sinew or vegetation. Whatever they were inside of was definitely alive. She found herself slowing down until at last she was standing next to Mr. Keeze under a gigantic teardrop-shaped pod that hung above them. They were staring up at its round opening as their chests were heaving. After he had recovered sufficiently, Mr. Keeze managed to wheeze out:

  “Well, my dear Constance, we are here inside Madame Yorav and about to enter Lady Uveol through this portal,” Mr. Keeze said, as he pointed up to the round hole above them.

  “You will remember that you and your family were inside Sir Raneth and have seen his Microspangoria production facilities in which our Llopen friends are created. Well now, we are here underneath lovely Lady Uveol and we will explore her inner chamber…where things are begun. Oh, my gars and starters, no…my stars and garters…how thrilling this will be! I am still not getting the names right in your language, but not to worry, all will come round in the end. The point, my dear Miss Amazeling, is that here inside a magnificent Megaspangorium we will witness a glorious beginning and with it, the fulfilling of Lady Uveol! My favorite part of the job, this is! I delight so in witnessing The Romance of Xartief.”

  Now that she could see Mr. Keeze again (which was quite comforting), Constance noticed he was puffing out his chest with pride and wiggling his mustache with no small amount of satisfaction over the prospect of showing her what was coming next.

  “Lady Uveol, may we come through your portal and enter your inner chamber?” Constance thought Lady Uveol graciously agreed to his request, but she wasn’t quite sure how she knew this. It was just a sense she had, but, come to think of it, ever since she had arrived in Wonder, Constance could perceive things about everyone or everything they encountered. That was just normal here.

  Now, Constance and Mr. Keeze rose up and through the portal above them and into the inner Mega-whatsis Place and came to rest upon a surface that felt soft and kind of bouncy. The egg-shaped chamber was dim, but there was a glow all around them. Constance sensed that this was a glow of expectancy, as if something truly splendid was about to take place.

  Music began to fill her ears. It commenced with an almost inaudible whisper of voices layered, one upon another

  “Sporocytesporocytesporsyte…” sang one voice.

  “Meiosismeiosismeiosismeiosismeisis…” sang another.

  It sounded like she and Mr. Keeize were in the middle of a forest breeze, hearing the flutter of the leaves.

  A lilting melody arose above that and was thereafter accompanied by harmonies and rhythms, which increased in volume until the chamber was awash in sound. If the music of the Microspangoria tubes from which the Llopens emerged was earthy, rhythmic, and tribal, this music inside the Megaspangorium chamber was refined, stately, and graceful. It caused Constance to sway lithely, back and forth, and then to dip up and down, from time to time, into a little curtsy.

  What did this remind her of? She let the sound of this mystical music roll around inside her head until it retrieved the memory of a familiar song from home. Ah, yes, that was it! This music reminded her very much of the courtly Baroque dance piece Faye had played repeatedly for Constance while she read her history books of the same period.

  What did Mom call that dance? A passacaglia? Yes, that was it. What a weird name! So, words in her world could be just as weird as those in Wonder, Constance concluded. At any rate, that was what the music in the chamber sounded like to her: a courtly Baroque dance. And indeed, what unfolded before Constance and Mr. Keeze was elaborate, elegant choreography.

  “The dance of the Cluine,” Mr. Keeze whispered reverently as he waved his hand up with a flourish. Just so, the movement began with a single glowing, floating sphere. The sphere appeared above them on the opposite side of a translucent membrane within a womblike sac. They were peering through a window at a very privileged sight. The sphere seemed to gracefully curtsy and then divide in half, becoming her own dance partner!

  Together, the two spheres moved elegantly about one another, bowing and then dividing to become four “Cluine,” as Mr. Keeze called them. As the visitors watched the display, three of these orbs faded and then disappeared from view, leaving a soloist swaying before them.

  It was this remaining ball that began to grow and enlarge. It floated inside the membrane sac that now filled Lady Uveol’s entire Megaspangorium chamber. Inside the sac, the soloist divided again and again until Constance could see eight glowing Cluine dancing together. They moved in sync, with one another. Two of the Cluine orbs came from opposite ends of the sac and joined as one, floating into the middle. Three other of these orbs rose and hovered at the top of the sac, and one very special rosy-colored sphere settled gracefully at the bottom of the chamber inside the sac, attended to by two sister orbs.

  So it was that the Cluine finished their dance and positioned themselves for the final bow. Each of them had morphed and matured as if they were changing their garments to prepare for an opulent coming-out party. It was a truly captivating sight, for there could not have been any more courtly a dance than was this one. Everything about it made Constance feel a sense of vital purpose, beauty, and order in all she surveyed.

  When the dance ended, the special rosy Cluine positioned at the bottom center drew Constance’s undivided attention. She felt at once that this part
icular orb bore the countenance of a shy and blushing bride. The Bride took her place as the music ended, accompanied by her two orb sisters. It was then that Mr. Keeze pointed to the final arrangement of the lights and marveled.

  “Ah, the Cluine have completed their dance of transformation. Now Lady Uveol has been prepared!”

  As Constance looked on, it seemed like everything around her radiated with anticipation and possibility. Lady Uveol’s womblike sac had indeed been prepared for something, enlivened by the exquisite dance of the beauteous Bride and her Cluine sisters. How strange and how lovely an occurrence this was!

  Constance and Mr. Keeze continued to peer through the translucent membrane of the sac before them and they could see that The Bride was positively incandescent, having turned a deep hue of pink. She curtsied modestly, as did her attendants.

  “Xartief be extolled!” she exuded.

  “Xartief be extolled, indeed!” Mr. Keeze echoed.

  In fact, all around them, Lady Uveol’s chamber quivered reverentially at the sound of the word, “Xartief.”

  “There it is again!” Constance puzzled. “What is it about that word?”

  Before she could ponder the thought, Mr. Keeze declared, “Now we await The Negreation, oh no…that’s not it…we await The Generation — that’s it, The Generation!”

  At the mention of this, The Bride orb seemed to blush all the more as her attendants modestly retreated. At this moment, when Constance could hardly contain her curiosity about what would happen next, Mr. Keeze plopped himself down upon the floor of Lady Uveol’s inner chamber, and in mere moments, proceeded to…doze off!

  “Oh brother! What in the world is he doing? This place can be so contchumate-ing…no! It’s consternating! Just so frustrating!” Constance muttered to herself.

  But before she started to come unglued, she deposited herself beside Mr. Keeze with resignation and proceeded to fall, almost immediately, into a sound sleep. There Constance sat, leaning upon her companion, breathing heavily and dreaming of dancing spheres of light, as a haunting voice whispered: