by Emma Hart
ME: …Does pizza make you feel sick?
IVY: If it does, I might just let my grandmother kill me.
IVY: Why?
ME: I was going to get you pizza for after.
IVY: Oh. I have to work tomorrow night.
ME: In a bar? Is that safe?
IVY: OMG, I wish people would not ask me that.
IVY: Yes, it’s safe. I’m serving people cocktails, not glugging pure ethanol.
ME: Just checking.
IVY: Mm. I’m going to sleep now. I’ll talk to you tomorrow.
ME: Check in when you’ve told your grandma so I know if you’re still alive.
IVY: If she hasn’t broken all my fingers.
ME: I hope you’re joking.
IVY: So do I. Goodnight.
***
Anna’s gaze followed me as I walked across the kitchen to put two slices of bread in the toaster.
“Spit it out,” I said, pushing the lever down.
“How are you feeling this morning?”
“Like I wish I’d never let you stay here.” I grabbed the butter from the fridge. “How are you?”
“Wishing I’d drowned you when we were younger,” she replied dryly. “Seriously, Kai, how are you? You had a shock yesterday.”
I peered over my shoulder at her. She looked genuinely concerned about me, so I blew out a long breath and said, “It’s going to take me a few days to fully come to terms with it, I think. But I’m fine, sis, really. I just need to be there for Ivy right now.”
“I understand that.” She wrapped her hands around her coffee mug and leaned forward on the island. “You have to look after yourself, too.”
“I know, and I will.”
“You should ask her out, you know. When this has settled.”
“Anna…” I sighed, flipping my toast and pushing the lever back down for another minute. “I said last night that wasn’t an option. Just because I have feelings for her doesn’t mean I’m going to take advantage of this situation. I regret ever telling you that.”
“You only told me because I was setting you up.”
“With your friend whom I hate.”
“Po-tay-to, po-tah-to.” She waved her hand in the air dismissively. “I thought she wasn’t real until yesterday, not gonna lie.”
I popped my toast and put the slices on the cutting board. “I think your break-up has made you go crazy.”
“No. I’m sane now. I was crazy when I dated that wild motherfucker,” she asserted, blowing on her coffee before she took a sip. “What are you doing today?”
“Working.” I motioned to my outfit with the buttery knife and took a big bite out of the toast.
“Wanna get dinner somewhere?”
I chewed. “We could go to Bronco’s bar? That’s Ivy’s parents’ bar and she’s working tonight.”
Anna wrinkled her face up. “You want to go to her parents’ bar? After she’s told them you got her pregnant?”
I shrugged, tearing off another bite of toast. “Neutral venue and all that,” I said through a mouthful of food.
“Fine, we’ll go there.” She rolled her eyes so hard they almost took off and went into orbit. “But if her dad punches you, I’m videoing it and putting it on the internet.”
I shoved the last bit of toast in my mouth, grabbed my keys and phone, and shook my head as I headed for the door. “Try not to eat all my food!”
“No promises!” she sang as I shut the door behind her.
I paused in the hallway, glancing at Ivy’s door. I wanted to knock and see if she was okay, but I also didn’t want to wake her up. It wasn’t massively early, but if I were asleep right now, I wouldn’t want to be woken up.
I hesitated for one more second before I pulled out my phone and texted her to ask if she was awake. Her reply came quicker than I expected.
IVY: Yes. I apparently needed to pee three times before six a.m. No more water in the bedroom at night.
ME: I suppose this is the kind of TMI I should get used to.
IVY: You betcha. ;)
ME: I’m in the hall about to leave for work. Do you need anything?
IVY: Are you going to ask me every single day?
ME: Probably. Get used to it.
IVY: That’s sweet.
I waited for her to text back, but the click of her lock sounded instead of the ‘ding’ of my phone.
She appeared in the doorway, smiling. “I’m fine, thank you. Next time, just knock instead of standing out here like an awkward turtle.”
“I didn’t want to wake you if you were asleep.”
“Don’t worry about it. If my bladder has any say in the matter, I won’t sleep for the rest of my life.”
“Are you sure you don’t need anything? A breakfast sandwich? A breakfast burrito? Lemonade? Coffee?”
Her face wrinkled at the mention of coffee and she shuddered. “If you bring me coffee, I swear to God, I’ll throw up all over your shoes.”
“Sorry.” I winced. “I forgot about the coffee thing.”
“It’s fine.” She rubbed her hand down her face. “Um, no, I’m good, honestly. Thank you. It’s sweet of you to ask.”
“Well, I got you pregnant. I figure the least I can do is get you food.”
Her lips tugged to one side. “I won’t argue that. I do like free food.”
“Yeah, it’s the way to your heart. I remember.” I winked. “Are you working tonight? Me and Anna were going to come to the bar for dinner.”
“I’m working if Grams doesn’t kill me, so don’t count on it. Also, have you thought this through? My parents know you, and when they find out you put a bun in my oven, I’m not sure they’re going to want to see you. Much less in their bar.”
“Don’t worry,” I replied dryly. “Anna has already promised to video it if your dad punches me.”
“Oh, well that’s okay.” She grinned. “I need to take a shower and brace myself for Hurricane Grandma. And yes, I promise to text you if I need anything.”
I returned her smile. “All right. I believe you.”
“Good. It’d be a long eighteen years if you didn’t.” On that note, she shut the door, but that didn’t stop me from hearing the ringing of her laughter on the other side.
I pinched the bridge of my nose and shook my head, laughing silently.
Something told me it was going to be a long eighteen years anyway.
And I was all right with that.
CHAPTER FOUR – IVY
“You’re what?” Mom stared at me across the living room, and Dad shot his arm out to stop her from exploding from the sofa. “Ivy Rose Stuart! Tell me it isn’t so!”
Well, this was going well.
Not.
“I’m pregnant,” I repeated. “Six weeks. Ish.”
“Ish? Ish? You don’t even know!” She sagged back in the chair. “Have you told your sister yet?”
“Why would I have told Holley? I only found out this morning and I haven’t seen her in three weeks! She’s busy getting the bookstore ready for reopening.”
Grandma Rosie muttered the rosary under her breath, rubbing the beads that were ever-present around her body. At least I thought it was the rosary—for all I knew, she was speaking genuine Latin and praying for me.
Both were equally feasible.
“Who did this to you?” Mom demanded. “Oh, God, he left you, didn’t he? He doesn’t want a child!”
“Why is that your first reaction?” I shot back. “He did not, thank you very much! He’s extremely supportive and intends to be there the whole way.”
“You say this like you’re not in a relationship!”
“Of course she isn’t!” Grams dropped her beads and threw both her arms in the air with such vigor I thought she’d throw her back out. “If she were, don’t you think we’d know? The gossip mill in this silly little town would tell us everything! Nothing is secret here, Jasmine, nothing!”
Oh, yay.
I’d awakened the beast.
>
“She’s twenty-six, single, and now she’s pregnant! From a one night stand I’d bet! Or worse, a Scientologist!”
“Where would I have met a Scientologist in bumfuck, Montana?” I asked incredulously. “Now you’re just being ridiculous.”
“And a little bit racist, Mother,” Mom said.
“Technically, it’s not racist. Prejudiced, mostly.”
“You be quiet, Ivy,” Mom snapped. “You’re not a part of this conversation.”
“Actually, I am the conversation!”
“Everyone needs to calm down.” Dad stood up and held out his hands. “Rosie, that was highly prejudiced. God would be ashamed of you. Be quiet.”
Grams sat upright. “I’ll tell you who God would be ashamed of! Your whore of a daughter!”
“Hey!” I shouted.
“Mother! Do not call her a whore!” Mom said at the said time. “I will not have that in my house!”
“She is a whore!”
I bristled. “Yeah, well, Jesus wasn’t even Joseph’s son, so I guess I keep good company.”
“Why you little—”
“Ivy, do you have to agitate her? You know she was just in the hospital,” Mom said, watching as Dad restrained my grandmother from… well, I’m not sure what she intended to do to me, but she didn’t need much restraining.
She was old, after all.
“She was in the hospital because she couldn’t poop. Which, incidentally, is the last time I saw my sister,” I shot back. “How did we get from me being pregnant to this? Does nobody care about stressing me out? I’m only carrying your grandchild.”
Mom clapped her hands to her cheeks. “Oh, my gosh! That didn’t even cross my mind!”
Great.
She rushed over to me and wrapped me in her arms. “Sweetheart, are you okay? Really? Are you sick? How do you feel? When did you find out? Do you need anything? Oh, my gosh, come and sit down. Simon, get her some water.”
Wow.
Talk about whiplash.
I was bundled into a comfortable armchair as my mother continued to pepper me with questions—all the questions except the one I was waiting for.
Who’s the father?
I answered each one diligently, smiling at Dad when he gave me the glass of water she’d ordered.
Unsurprisingly, it was Grams who asked the million-dollar question.
“Well? Who did this to you?” she demanded, smacking her dark red lips together.
“First, he didn’t do this to me,” I replied. “It was a consenting act between two people which means we’re both responsible for this baby.”
She snorted.
Dad shot her a dark look. “Well? Are you going to tell us?”
I took a deep breath. “Kai.”
Mom frowned. “Your neighbor?”
I nodded. “We’ve been seeing each other,” I said, the lie spilling easily from my tongue. “It’s serious.”
What was I saying?
Grams looked down to where I was fiddling with my fingers. “Serious enough that he’d marry you?”
I heard myself saying, “Yes,” before I knew what I was saying.
Both of my parents looked at me with the same shocked look. “You’re engaged?” Mom asked. “To Kai? Your neighbor? And nobody knew?”
“Tori knows,” I lied, crossing my toes inside my boot in lieu of my fingers. Must text Tori. “But that’s it. We were going to come clean soon, but it never seemed like the right time. Until now.”
Grandma Rosie sniffed, her disdain clear to see in the wrinkles of her nose and her clenched fingers. “I want to meet him,” she demanded. “I want to meet the ruffian who defiled my granddaughter!”
“Not with that attitude you’re not.”
“Why you—”
“She’s right, Rosie,” Dad said, diffusing the situation once again. “Perhaps you should calm down before you meet the boy. Who, for what it’s worth, I think is a very nice young man.”
“Even after he got your granddaughter up the duff?”
“Even then,” he replied. “They’re clearly in a relationship—” Whoops. “—And while we all know you would have preferred her to get married before she had a baby, sometimes things don’t work out that way.”
“And, technically, it’s your fault,” I said to Grams. “I missed my pill because you were constipated but insisted you were dying.”
She balked at the suggestion, pressing her perfectly manicured yet wrinkled hand to her red, silk shirt. “Excuse me? Are you really blaming me for this?”
“Yes,” Mom and I answered at the same time. “I am,” I continued. “It’s not my fault you couldn’t tell the difference between appendicitis and constipation. Which, I know from experience, are very different pains.”
Grams sniffed, clearly offended that I had the gall to blame her for my current situation. “I’m not talking to you until you’re married.”
“Good. I’ll postpone my wedding indefinitely, then,” I drawled.
You know.
The wedding that wasn’t planned.
Or happening.
Not even close to happening.
Shouldn’t be too hard…
“Oh, no, you’re not.” She got up, glaring at me. “You’re getting married before you have that baby. No grandchild of mine will be a bastard, do you hear me, Ivy Rose Stuart? No bastards in this family!”
I couldn’t not hear her.
The dead bodies six feet under in the cemetery across town could hear her.
She shuffled off out of the living room, leaving me with my parents. Both of whom were eyeing me speculatively, as if they didn’t quite know what to bring up first.
The pregnancy, or the fake engagement I’d somehow talked myself into.
“Well? When is Kai going to grow a pair and talk to us?” Dad finally asked.
“Actually, he offered to come with me right now, but he has to work so I said no,” I replied, setting that record straight. “He and his sister will be in the bar tonight for dinner when I’m working.”
“So we’ll see him tonight?” Mom raised an eyebrow.
“Yes, but please be nice to him. We only found out yesterday and it was a shock for us both. Don’t…go all Hulk on him.”
Dad’s eyes sparkled. “What makes you think I’d do that?”
I pursed my lips. “Dad.”
Mom swatted at him. “Simon, you know full well what she means. Remember Cory Jenkins? In high school? You almost approached the poor boy with a damn gun when he came to take her out.”
I sighed. “He never did ask me out again. Not that it was a bad thing. He was a terrible date.”
Mom snorted and patted my hand. “Sweetheart, we’ll wait until you bring Kai over to us. You can take a break when he comes in, okay?”
“Hold on, Jasmine, she’s not having breaks every ten minutes just because she’s pregnant. My grandmother—”
“Helped a cow give birth to a calf while in labor herself with Great Aunt Trudy,” I finished for my dad. “Yes, yes, we all know about the miracle that is Great Grandma Elizabeth.”
“Not to mention I never suggested she had a break every ten minutes, neither did she,” Mom said with a stern look in his direction. “But it’s very early days and she will tire easily. If she needs five minutes to sit down, she’ll get it, just like Wendy did when she was pregnant last year.”
Dad looked between the two of us, and I shrugged. I think I’d caused enough drama in my family today, so when he sighed and mumbled something about hoping the baby was a boy so some testosterone would be reintroduced to the family, it was a relief to laugh.
All things considered, that could have gone so much worse than it did.
“Are you coming to the bar with us?” Mom asked, standing up. “You don’t have to work, but your shift is soon, and you’re dressed for work.”
“I figured this would take longer to get Grams to disappear than it did, so I came prepared.” I grabbed my purse. �
�Is Hugo in the kitchen yet? I’m hungry.”
“He’s there,” Dad said. “What do you want? I’ll call him and see if he can start something for you.”
“Ooh. Um…” It was hard to choose when I didn’t know what would make me feel sick at the drop of a hat. “Maybe just a burger and fries.”
“All right.” He pulled me into his side and kissed the top of my head when I stood up. “Go wait in the car. We’ll drive you. You can eat, then take a nap in my office before your shift.”
I smiled weakly. “Thanks, Dad.”
“You’re welcome, sweetie. I remember how much your mother slept when she was pregnant with you. And my God, she snored like a freight train falling off a cliff.”
“I heard that!” Mom called, appearing in the doorway while she fixed her earring. “If you aren’t careful, Simon, I’ll put you on a freight train like that.”
“No, you won’t.” He winked at her. “You wouldn’t find anyone else who’d put up with your bedroom kinks.”
I shoved my fingers in my ears. “La la la la la!”
My dirty parents both laughed, and Mom said, “You’ll get it in fifteen years. Go wait in the car.”
I didn’t need to be told again. I took the car keys from her and darted outside before they went any deeper into their bedroom activities and slid into the backseat of Dad’s Audi.
After a deep breath, I pulled my phone out of my purse and moved into damage control mode.
ME: Tori, if anyone asks, me and Kai are engaged and you’re the only person who knew okay thanks LOVE YOU BYE
I flipped to my conversation with Kai.
ME: Heads up, my family thinks we’re engaged and my grandmother is demanding we get married by the time the baby comes
Unsurprisingly, Tori was the first to respond.
TORI: Gotcha. Let me know when you figure how he proposed. I guess Holley doesn’t know.
