The Heart of the Mirage

by Glenda Larke

  He interrupted. ‘Yes, I remember. I was there when Temellin told us.’

  ‘Years ago, the then Mirager—a man called Solad—made some sort of bargain with the Mirage Makers.

  ‘That debt has yet to be paid. I think he promised them a Magoroth life, a living, unborn child, in exchange for shelter inside the Mirage for the Magor fleeing the invasion. They want a child to become one of them. A child who, when his mind is grown, will provide them with the strength to destroy the Ravage. I suppose I could be wrong in this, but I don’t think so.’ And I believe the Ravage hates me so much because it knows I am bearing such a child…

  He was silent for a while, absorbing all I had said with a growing horror. His mount, sensing his inattention, stopped, forcing me to pull up as well. ‘Sweet Elysium,’ he said finally, his voice hardly more than an appalled whisper. ‘Are you saying you think these Mirage Makers want your child, your unborn baby?’

  ‘Not exactly. I think they want—need—a Magoroth child, any such child. I think they believe the most, er, appropriate would be one sired by Temellin. It is, after all, the ruler who has the responsibility for Solad’s decisions and promises.’ I could have added: and what better than a child from the womb of Solad’s daughter, Kardiastan’s truly legitimate ruler?

  He stared at me, appalled. ‘You—you think they’re going to kill you to rip the child out of your womb?’

  I shook my head. ‘Under the terms of a covenant made way, way back with the Magor, the Mirage Makers are prohibited from the deliberate killing of humans. If the Mirage Makers could still kill, then I wouldn’t be needing to ride all this way to halt an invasion. The Mirage would do it instead—drown the legionnaires in a lake or drop them into a gorge or something. I have been hoping they may be able to hinder the advance of the Stalwarts without actually hurting them, but I’m not sure enough of that to leave it up to them. You see, the Mirage Makers are not human. They sometimes don’t understand just what is useful—or conversely, what is of a hindrance to us.’ My mount reached out to groom Brand’s animal with its feeding arms. I thwarted its intention by urging it into a walk once more.

  Brand hurried his beast after me. ‘What about the Shiver Barrens? They kill enough people—’

  ‘The Barrens are not the Mirage. The Barrens are a natural physical phenomenon caused by the heating and cooling of a certain kind of desert sand. The Mirage Makers use the Barrens as a barrier, that’s all.’ I paused, remembering. ‘When I was inside the Shiver Barrens, under the sands, I thought I caught a glimpse of the Mirage Makers; now I think what I saw was a mere projection. Another mirage, if you like, with no substance. The reality of the Mirage Makers is the Mirage, just what you see around you now—nothing else. This is the closest they get to having a body, a physical being.’

  He swallowed. ‘You went inside the Barrens? Ocrastes’ balls!’ He made a helpless gesture with his hand. ‘It seems I may as well have been asleep for all I have understood about what has been happening since we came to this place!’ He gave me an uneasy look. ‘Ligea, there is surely no way to remove a child from its mother’s womb without killing the mother.’

  ‘Not that I know of. However, my feeling is that the Mirage Makers take an intense interest in me because—because of my son. They might not kill me, but they might not save me, either; they may even have an interest in seeing Pinar catch up with us…’

  ‘So that she can kill you on their behalf?’ For a moment he was speechless, searching for the right words to express his outrage. Then he exploded. ‘Goddess damn them! They are a sly, shifty piece of worm-ridden dirt!’

  ‘I wouldn’t insult them too much, my hasty Altani friend. Their understanding might be a little unconventional, but I suspect they do hear every word we say. I could add, too, that Pinar’s death might serve the Mirage Makers just as well. She also carries Temellin’s child.’

  He was further incensed; this time—illogically—with Temellin. ‘That bastard. Vortexdamn it, Ligea, what do you see in that frigging whoreson? Never mind, don’t answer that. I don’t want to hear. And if Pinar’s death would suit the Mirage Makers just as well as yours, why don’t you let her catch up with you, always supposing she is following us, and kill her off? She’s no loss to the world, not even to Temellin. The woman’s a murdering vixen.’

  ‘Yes, she is. She’s also well on the way to madness.’

  He blinked. ‘You sound almost sympathetic!’

  ‘I wouldn’t put it quite so strongly. I do pity her, though. Her instincts with regard to me were good, yet no matter what she did, she couldn’t get rid of me. Her husband loves me still. However, if I had to choose between the two of us, yes, I’d kill her if I could, and it wouldn’t particularly worry me to do so. Unfortunately, in any confrontation between Pinar and me, I would probably be the one to end up dead. Pinar is a Magoria with years of experience and training, and my sword can’t be used against her. She, however, can kill me from across a room with hers. If she’d really put her mind to it, I’d already be just so many bones scattered in the soil of the Mirage. So far she has been hampered by a need not to be associated with my death—but out here, with me an escaped prisoner—who will blame her?’

  ‘I still have my own sword. Hardly a patch on yours, I know, but why don’t we lay a trap for her? Kill her before she has a chance to get you?’

  ‘She’s a Magoroth, Brand. She has the power to sense the position of people around her. An ambush is not going to work.’

  He stared at me, aghast. He had finally absorbed the magnitude of the danger I was in. ‘Does she know about this child business?’ he asked.

  ‘I haven’t the faintest idea. I doubt she knows I’m pregnant.’

  ‘And Temellin?’

  ‘He knows about the bargain, yes. But I never did tell him I was pregnant.’

  I had never seen Brand so enraged. ‘He got two women pregnant at the same time, knowing one of them may have to be killed to save the Mirage and the Magor?’

  ‘That’s an oversimplification of the situation, and you know it.’

  ‘The situation stinks, Ligea, and so does Temellin.’

  I ignored that and said instead, ‘You may as well know another thing I’ve found out, which no one else realises. I’m not Shirin. I’m not Temellin’s sister. I’m his cousin, Sarana. Solad’s daughter.’

  His grip slackened on the reins and his shleth halted again. I felt his bewilderment. ‘But didn’t Temellin tell us she was—’ He gaped. ‘You’re the rightful—?’

  ‘Miragerin. Yes.’

  He rolled his eyes upwards. ‘Elysium save me. Ligea, all this stuff—it’s unreal. Magic swords and Mirage Makers and dancing sands, I don’t know how to deal with it.’ He sighed and added, ‘And if you are the Miragerin, why in all Acheron’s mists are you thinking of leaving Kardiastan?’

  ‘What difference does being the Miragerin make? In Magor eyes, I would still be a traitor. Worse still, the daughter of a traitor. I can’t explain who I am without revealing the extent of Solad’s treachery. He’s the one who betrayed Kardiastan. I’m the daughter of a man who sold his country and his people into slavery and humiliation and subjection—just to save me. They would never accept me, and I can’t say I blame them.’

  I shook my head at the accumulation of bewildering irony. ‘I revered Gayed, and have found him since to be a man who feigned affection for me so I would become the instrument of his revenge. I know now why Salacia was complacent about my presence. She knew, and revelled in the joke. And now, when I discover the lie and replace Gayed with my real father, what do I find? A man who loved me so much, he didn’t care how many people died and how many others suffered just to keep me alive. My life was bought with a pile of corpses and a tide of suffering that’s lasted a generation.’

  I turned to Brand, and the shleth took advantage of my inattention to start pulling leaves from a nearby bush with its fingers. ‘I could atone by giving up my life and my child, but I’m damned if I’ll do
that willingly. It’s just not in me. But I can try to stop the Stalwarts. And my only chance to do that is to stay ahead of Pinar if she is indeed following me. Or hope Garis manages to delay her.’

  He was thoughtful. ‘Once the Kardis find out you were telling the truth about the Stalwarts, they will forgive much. Especially if you turn the legionnaires back. You could return to the Mirage City. They can hardly blame you for what Solad did. You could claim your rightful place as their Miragerin.’

  ‘No.’

  He looked at me shrewdly. ‘You’re doing this for him. Denying your chance to have the kind of power you’ve always wanted, because it would be at his expense.’ For once I felt his emotions, and they were such a contradictory mix I couldn’t decide exactly what dominated. There was certainly plenty of rage, but I suspected most of that was directed at Temellin.

  ‘So what if I am?’

  ‘By the Goddess, you’ve changed!’ He shook his head in a sort of bemused wonder and then drawled, ‘Do you realise that in a couple of months you have managed to change your name three times? Ligea—Derya—Shirin—Sarana. Aren’t you overdoing things a bit, my dear?’

  As usual he managed to drag a reluctant chuckle out of me. I said, ‘Let’s gallop again. I really don’t want to confront Pinar.’ I slapped a hand down on the neck of my mount and, startled, it leapt away up the track.

  As I rode, I wondered if Brand was right. I wasn’t sure I was as altruistic as he thought. True, I didn’t want to come to the position of ruler at Temellin’s expense, any more than Korden had. To strip the man I loved of everything he had been raised to believe was rightfully his would be to castrate him, to take away his reason for living. I loved him too much to do that to him. But there was a selfishness in my reluctance too. Once Temellin found out I hadn’t lied about the Stalwarts, there was always the possibility we could get together again, that he might forgive me my deception. I could tell him I had decided that being closely related to him didn’t matter after all…I was never one to close doors behind me if it were possible to leave them ajar.

  On the other hand, if I took away Temellin’s mandate to rule, I would be slamming a door and probably locking it as well, because part of him would never be able to forgive me.

  Besides, I wasn’t convinced I wanted to be Miragerin anyway. What joy would there be in ruling a country that didn’t want me? Especially when the seed of a much better idea was already rattling around in my thoughts…

  That evening, when we pulled up to water our shleths at a roadside pond, Brand said, ‘We have to stop, Ligea. These beasts are ready to drop and I’m not much better. Vortex only knows how you feel.’

  ‘Don’t coddle me, Brand.’ I smiled at him. ‘That’s one sin you’ve never been guilty of yet, so don’t you dare start now just because I’m having a baby. But I agree with you: we’ll stop here for the night. There’s plenty of grazing and water.’ I slid off my mount and started to unsaddle.

  I had just finished hobbling my beast when a startled exclamation from Brand had me whirling, with my sword already halfway out of its scabbard. In the moments it had taken me to attend to the shleth, a building had appeared beside the pond. It was a solid structure of grey stone, three storeys high with several turrets and some pine trees on the roof.

  ‘Where in the name of the Goddess did that come from?’ Brand asked in consternation.

  ‘I imagine that’s a gift from the Mirage Makers for tired travellers,’ I replied, amused.

  He gaped. ‘Isn’t it a mite, um, large for the two of us?’

  ‘I suspect the Mirage Makers have always been a little confused about the needs of humans. You only have to look at the Mirage City to see that.’ I picked up my saddlebags. ‘Shall we see if they have thought to supply any furniture? The idea of a pallet is very tempting.’ I rubbed my buttocks ruefully.‘Two months in prison doesn’t do much good to muscles.’

  There were pallets, an abundance of them. There was also a surfeit of more trivial objects that weren’t of the slightest use: toys, candelabra (but no candles), a spinning wheel, a small boat, enough saddlery to outfit a legion. Brand shook his head in bewilderment. ‘Mad,’ he muttered. ‘Quite, quite mad.’ He turned his attention to preparing a meal, while I went outside to ward the building. I could not keep Pinar out, but I could fix it so I would be warned the moment the Miragerin-consort entered, if indeed she came at all.

  Later that night, it was the breaking of that ward that woke me, sending a searing pain through my hand from my cabochon. The stone had flared and was still glowing its alarm. Quickly I crossed to Brand on the other side of the room and shook him awake. ‘Someone’s here,’ I murmured.

  I raised the cabochon to my ear, listened—and my heart sagged within me. It was Pinar.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE

  Pinar was not alone; Garis was with her.

  Brand wanted to sneak away immediately, but I disabused him of the notion such a feat was possible. ‘She already senses me,’ I said. ‘We move from here, and she’ll know. My only chance is to talk, to try to show her—’

  ‘Talk? Are you crazy? That woman is beyond reason!’

  I turned from him, strapping on my sword, knowing the truth of his words, fearing I was going to die.

  ‘You can’t do this! Will you risk your life so casually?’ he raged at me. ‘His son—?’

  ‘The child will not die. He will live forever.’

  ‘As what? As some creature that is not human? Without body, without soul?’ He shuddered. ‘I would not wish such a fate on my worst enemy, Ligea.’

  ‘Who are we to say it would not be a better existence than the one we live? We have no concept of what it’s like to be a Mirage Maker, Brand. My son might save this land, might save these entities that are the Mirage, and the bond between Magor and Mirage Makers will be strengthened. Do you think I want to do this?’

  ‘And what of you? Vortex, Ligea, what of you?’

  I turned back to him. I wanted to scream at him, to say: I want her dead! Of course I do! I want her child sacrificed, not mine, not me! Oh, Goddess, Brand, I don’t want to die—I just don’t know how to save myself…

  Instead, I said, ‘What of me? Perhaps this way of dying will give my life some meaning. And Garis could see that my son goes to the Mirage Makers. Tell him, Brand, if I don’t have the chance. And as for the Stalwarts, do what you can to persuade the Magor they are coming.’

  He was incredulous. ‘Is this really you, Ligea? I never thought I’d ever listen to words of defeat from your lips. Fight the bitch!’ He took up his unsheathed sword.

  ‘Keep out of this, Brand,’ I warned. ‘You cannot fight anyone of the Magor. She will not harm you if you stay out of it.’

  ‘And what sort of a man do you think I will be if I stand aside and let the woman I love be killed, and then allow her body to be mutilated?’ he asked, enraged.

  I had no time to reply. The door opened and Garis stepped into the room. His arm was no longer in a sling, its recovery hastened, I assumed, by the Magor ability to aid healing. He was followed by Pinar. The Magoria’s sword was already drawn and glowing, adding to the light I had coaxed out of my cabochon.

  Garis spoke first, anxiously apologetic. ‘Sorry, Shirin. I couldn’t stop her.’

  ‘What do you intend, Pinar?’ I asked quietly. ‘I’m sure Garis has told you of the way my honesty was tested—’

  ‘A fraud!’ she snapped. ‘He’s a child, easily deceived by sleight of hand. And who’s to say the text was accurate anyway? I’ve never heard of such a test!’

  Garis opened his mouth to make an indignant retort, but I stepped in first. ‘I’ll undergo the test again, if that will help you believe the truth.’ Even as I spoke, I knew Pinar would never acknowledge the truth, no matter how large it was written. I turned to Garis, although I knew it was useless to ask for his help. He would never be able to bring himself to raise a hand against Pinar, one of the original Ten and the consort of his Mirager. I said merel
y, ‘If I die here, Garis, it will be up to you to stop the Stalwarts. And there will be another task for you that Brand will explain.’

  He gave a strangled gurgle. ‘Die? No one is going to die! Pinar just wants to take you back.’

  Brand was scathing. ‘Look at her, you mash-brained witling! Does she look like someone about to act as an escort to the woman she considers her worst enemy?’

  Garis took one look at Pinar’s face and said, ‘Miragerin, please think. Temellin will never forgive you if you harm Shirin—’

  ‘He’s never forgiven me anyway,’ she said venomously, ‘for not being her. She’s won against me every time. Even when she was warded, she went on winning. Well, this is one time I’m going to win. And this will be the time that counts.’

  ‘Murder me, and not only will you have to explain my death to Temellin,’ I said, ‘but you will have to explain why you also killed his son. I, too, am bearing his child, Pinar. Would you kill your child’s brother?’ I was gambling that she didn’t know about the details of Solad’s bargain, but it was a stupidity anyway; an appeal to a woman who was beyond appeal, a woman whose mind was so fettered with jealousy nothing mattered except vengeance.

  Even as I spoke, I knew I had lost. I didn’t need Brand’s wince, and his agonised, ‘Mistake, love, mistake,’ to tell me.

  Rage boiled inside the Miragerin-consort. Her sword flared to white brilliance, spilling out of the blade.

  ‘Pinar!’ Garis cried, his anguish swamping us all, but it was Brand who moved to fling himself at her. He hit her with the impetus of his forward rush and knocked her off-balance. The beam of power she had been about to direct at me hit the ceiling, crumbling wood to splinters, and showering us all with wooddust. Garis shoved Brand aside and tugged at Pinar’s arm, shaking her. ‘Pinar, for Magor sake, don’t—’

  ‘Leave me be!’ she shouted, heaving him out of her way. She made a wild shot at me and I ducked and rolled. Several stones were blasted from the wall and fell to the ground outside.