Just One Night?

by Carol Marinelli

  She was furious as she walked down the corridor but took a calming breath as she stepped into the room. Lucas was sitting with a teary Ruby, who had clearly been through the wringer. She looked so young and vulnerable and she should have had an advocate with her, a friend, anyone, but instead she’d faced it all pretty much alone.

  ‘It’s okay, Ruby …’ Isla said, but it was the wrong thing to say because an angry Ruby jumped to her feet.

  ‘No, it isn’t!’ Ruby said. ‘I’ve just been told that it isn’t all right …’

  ‘Ruby,’ Isla said, ‘I know it’s so much to take in.’ She just wanted to get her away from the clinic for a while, to talk to her without everyone hanging around. ‘Why don’t we go to the canteen?’

  ‘I don’t want to go the canteen with you, you stuck-up cow,’ Ruby said. ‘I just want …’ She didn’t finish but instead ran off. Isla went after her but she knew it was pointless.

  ‘She just needs some time,’ Darcie said when Isla saw her.

  ‘I know,’ Isla said, and looked at Darcie. ‘I should have been told. Just because you and Lucas aren’t talking—’

  ‘Hey!’ Darcie broke in. ‘Lucas did a CTG on a thirty-five-weeker at two and found no heartbeat. I’m going to deliver her tonight. He’s been brilliant, he’s been in with Mum and Dad all afternoon. Yes, we’ve had a row and we don’t get on, but my not telling him about Ruby had nothing to do with that. We were swamped. I had no idea Heinz was going to talk to her, I just thought he was looking through the scans.’

  ‘Isla—’

  Isla turned as Lucas knocked on the door. ‘Allegra Manos is here, she said you were to be paged when she arrived.’

  ‘Thanks.’

  ‘I’m sorry I didn’t let you know about Ruby,’ Lucas added. ‘I was in with a mum—’

  ‘Darcie explained.’ Isla let out a tense breath. ‘Sorry about that, Darcie.’

  ‘Apology accepted.’ Darcie smiled. ‘It’s just been one of those awful afternoons.’

  Not that the other patients could know that, so both Isla and Darcie pushed out a smile and went in to see Allegra.

  She looked fantastic and the baby seemed to be doing just fine.

  ‘Everything,’ Darcie said as she examined Allegra, ‘is looking great. The baby is head down and a nice size and there’s lots of fluid. How are the movements?’

  ‘Lots of them,’ Allegra said.

  Darcie spoke at length with Allegra about a trial of labour and told her that they would part insert an epidural. ‘It won’t stop you from moving around but it means that if we do need to move to a Caesarean then everything will be set up, so we can move quickly if we have to and you can also stay awake.’

  Darcie answered a few more of Allegra’s questions. ‘I’ll be seeing you weekly from now on,’ Darcie said as she stepped out.

  ‘All looks good.’ Isla smiled.

  ‘Can you let Alessi know that for me? I know he’ll be itching to find out. He’s doing his best not to ring for updates.’

  ‘I’ll let him know,’ Isla said, but when she paged him she got the head nurse in Neonatology, who said he was busy with an infant. ‘Can I pass on a message?’

  ‘It’s fine,’ Isla said. ‘I’ll try again later.’

  Much later.

  In fact, it was after eight when she made her way up to NICU and buzzed and was let in, and after washing her hands she was directed to Alessi, who was by little Elijah’s cot. ‘How is he?’ she asked.

  ‘Giving me far too many sleepless nights, but he’s doing a bit better,’ he said. He was putting an IV in Elijah’s scalp and Isla stood quietly as Alessi concentrated. There was a little picture attached to his cot of him and Archie lying together on what must have been Archie’s last day, and Isla tore her eyes from it as Alessi finished and peeled off his gloves. ‘Thank you,’ he said to the neonatal nurse who had assisted him. ‘Is this a personal visit?’ he asked as they walked from the cot.

  ‘Sort of.’ Isla nodded. ‘I’m just here to tell you about Allegra. All went well—’

  ‘We’ll go into my office.’

  Isla followed him in. ‘Your office is very messy.’

  ‘Because I’m never in it long enough to put anything away,’ he said, and as a case in point his phone buzzed and he answered it. ‘I’ll be out in a few moments.’ He then hung up the phone. ‘How is Allegra?’

  ‘Fantastic. It’s all progressing well. The baby is head down and engaged and Darcie will be seeing her weekly from now on.’

  ‘She still wants a trial of labour?’

  ‘She does,’ Isla replied. ‘Darcie has gone through it all with her and Allegra will have an epidural placed just in case a Caesarean is needed.’ She perched on the edge of his desk. ‘What time are you finishing?’ she asked, knowing that he should already be off now.

  ‘I’m just waiting for some results to come in on Elijah.’

  ‘I thought he was doing a bit better?’

  ‘He is,’ he said. ‘I just want to check his labs.’

  ‘Who’s on call tonight?’

  ‘Jed,’ Alessi clipped.

  ‘Can’t Jed—’

  ‘Isla, please don’t,’ Alessi warned, because this really was his tipping point. ‘I work long hours. If it doesn’t suit—’

  ‘Oh, please.’ She simply laughed in the face of his warning. ‘I’m not some needy miss, worried that you’re going to ruin dinner if you’re late home.’ She pulled him towards her and started to kiss his tired mouth. ‘And I’m not trying to come between you and your premmies.’ She locked her hands behind his neck and looked into the blackest, most beautiful eyes she had ever seen and was as honest as she had ever been. ‘I don’t care if you’re here till five in the morning just as long as you need to be here, Alessi … I just happen to care about you. If you were one of my staff I’d have sent you home about three hours ago. In fact, I’d have told you to take tomorrow off, too.’

  ‘I’m not one of your staff.’

  ‘Lucky for you.’

  Alessi looked at Isla. He loved how she’d bypassed his warning, how she’d admitted she cared, so he told her the truth.

  ‘I can’t send Donna and Tom home with no baby.’

  ‘And you’ll do everything to see that you don’t,’ Isla calmly assured him. ‘But Elijah’s going to be here for weeks, maybe months …’ She could see the wrestle in his eyes. ‘I’m not going to push it.’ She gave him another quick kiss and jumped down from the desk. ‘I’m heading home. Stop by if it’s not too late.’

  ‘Is Darcie on call tonight?’

  ‘Nope.’ Isla headed for the door. ‘I doubt she’ll drop dead with shock—half the hospital seems to have worked out that we’re on.’

  They were on.

  Alessi knew that when at ten, instead of crashing in the on-call room, he was driving to Isla’s. It had nothing to do with the promise of sex. He would probably be kicked out for snoring, he was so tired. It was balance, it was her, it was the calm of non-judgment and the freedom of choice along with cool reason.

  ‘I’d just about given up,’ Isla said, answering the door in her dressing gown, her hair wrapped in a towel.

  ‘Jed might call,’ he warned her. ‘I might need to go in.’

  ‘That’s fine,’ she said. ‘Do you want something to eat?’

  ‘I had something earlier,’ he said. ‘I’d kill for a shower, though.’

  He’d been to the apartment a few times but never while Darcie was there. She was tapping away on her computer while watching a movie and didn’t seem remotely fazed to see him here.

  ‘Help yourself,’ Isla said, opening her bedroom door.

  Alessi did.

  To shampoo, to conditioner, to Isla’s deodorant.

  ‘You smell like me,’ Isla said as he joined her in bed and then kissed him. ‘You taste like me, too.’

  Alessi really hadn’t come here with sex on his mind and that became more apparent as their kiss deepened. ‘I didn’t bring
anything …’

  ‘Alessi.’

  ‘Can we lose the condoms?’ he asked. ‘I don’t care what tests, I’ll do them, but …’

  They were just so completely into each other that this conversation had only been a matter of time but Isla was grateful for the very small reprieve he had just given her.

  ‘Yes …’ She knew she should tell him there was no need for tests on her part and she would, Isla decided. She was moving closer and closer to opening up to him, just not now. Now she could feel his exhaustion, now it was so easy to be bold, to just move her lips from his mouth and kiss downwards, to hold him in her hands and feel him grow.

  For Alessi it was heaven.

  Her tentative lips did not alert him to her inexperience. Instead he just revelled in her slow explorations and the trail of her damp hair down his body.

  Isla tasted him for the first time, loved the feel of his hand on her head and the gentle pressure that pushed her deeper. Selfish was his pleasure and that she revelled in. She could feel his occasional restraint, when he tried not to thrust.

  Then there was the turn-on when he stopped trying and just gave in. The power, the feel, the taste, the rush of him coming had Isla come, too, at the intimate private pleasure, and then afterwards, feeling him relaxed and sated beside her, it was the closest she had ever felt to another person.

  And Alessi felt it, too, for there in the dark, as pleasure receded, a deeper connection flowed in as she lay in his arms.

  ‘I was wrong to accuse you of holding back when there are things that I haven’t told you.’

  Isla looked at him as he continued speaking.

  ‘Talia was pregnant.’ It was with Isla that he shared for the first time. ‘When she told me I asked her to marry me and we decided to tell our parents about the pregnancy after the wedding.’ He liked it that her face was still there, though her smile had gone, and he liked it that she didn’t ask questions. ‘We had a big dinner at the restaurant on the Saturday …’

  He tried to explain better. ‘In Greek families you establish a connection before the man asks the woman’s father, so even though we weren’t officially engaged, it was a given that it was to come. On the Wednesday Talia missed lectures. I went over to check if all was okay and it was clear she was unwell. I thought she was losing the baby. I wanted her to go to hospital but she told me there was no need …’ He watched Isla’s slight frown. ‘She told me then that she’d had an abortion that morning.’

  ‘Without telling you?’

  ‘Yep. She thought I would try to talk her out of it. She said that she wanted to have children one day but that she knew she couldn’t study to be a doctor and be a teenage mum … Alessi turned from Isla and looked back at the ceiling. ‘I get that, I understand that. I get that it was her body …’

  ‘It was your baby, though?’

  Alessi nodded and he waited and hoped for Isla to share.

  ‘Go to sleep,’ Isla said, and Alessi smiled into the darkness.

  If it took for ever he would find out what went on in that head, and then he smiled into the darkness again. ‘Jed and I have swapped. I’m working this weekend.’

  ‘But you’re already on call twice next week,’ Isla pointed out sleepily.

  ‘I know,’ Alessi said, ‘but it will be worth it to have next weekend off. You know what next weekend is?’ he checked. ‘Valentine’s Day. The anniversary of when we first met.’

  ‘And?’

  ‘I have plans for us.’

  ‘Such as?’

  ‘You’ll find out,’ he said. Yes, he’d had plans when he’d swapped the work arrangements with Jed—an intimate meal with Isla, perhaps a night in a gorgeous hotel, but right now those plans were getting bigger and he gave a wry laugh.

  ‘Hopefully it will end better than the last one.’

  CHAPTER TWELVE

  IT WAS THE promise of the weekend and the fact that her period was due that had Isla knocking on Darcie’s office door on the Monday morning.

  ‘Hi, Darcie …’

  ‘Hey, Isla.’

  ‘I was wondering …’ Isla started, but then she changed her mind. She would make an appointment with her GP, Isla decided, and turned to go. Except her period was due any time and for it to be safe she’d need to start the Pill on her first day. She also knew that she needed to have her blood pressure checked and things … So Isla took a breath. ‘Have you got a moment?’

  ‘Sure,’ Darcie said. ‘I’ve got precisely six.’ She frowned when Isla didn’t smile. ‘I’ve got all the time you need, Isla. Is everything okay?’

  ‘Oh, it’s not a biggie,’ Isla said. ‘It won’t take long. I was just wondering if you could write me a script for the Pill …’

  ‘Sure,’ Darcie said. ‘Have a seat.’

  Isla did, though again she was tempted to change her mind. ‘What do you usually take?’ Darcie asked, pulling out a blood-pressure cuff. When Isla didn’t immediately answer, Darcie said, ‘Sorry, Isla, but I’m not just going to give you a repeat without checking your blood pressure.’

  Isla nodded. She knew that Darcie was thorough and was starting to realise what a stupid idea this had been as Darcie quickly checked it. ‘All good.’ Darcie nodded. ‘So, what are you on?’

  ‘I’m not,’ Isla said.

  ‘What type of contraception do you usually use?’

  ‘Condoms,’ Isla said, and then cleared her throat.

  ‘Okay,’ Darcie answered carefully. They both knew that condoms weren’t the safest of choices.

  ‘Look, sorry, Darcie, I should have gone to my GP. I just—’

  ‘Isla, it’s fine.’ Darcie interrupted. ‘I’m not just going to write out a script, though, if it’s something that you haven’t taken before.’

  Isla nodded.

  ‘Have you any history that I should know about?’

  Isla shook her head.

  ‘Blood clots, migraines …’ She went through the list of contraindications.

  ‘Nothing.’

  ‘Good.’ Darcie smiled. ‘When did you last have a smear test?’

  Isla sat there, her cheeks on fire.

  ‘Sorry, I keep forgetting I’m in Australia,’ Darcie said into the silence. ‘When did you last have a Pap?’

  Isla had never had a Pap because she’d never been sexually active.

  ‘It’s been …’ Isla gave a tight shrug. ‘It’s been a while.’

  ‘I’m not going to tell you off for leaving it too long,’ Darcie said. ‘Let’s just get it over and done with. When is your period due?’

  ‘Today or tomorrow.’

  ‘Have you had any unprotected sex?’

  ‘No.’ Isla shook her head, but more to clear it. What the hell was she lying for? ‘Once,’ she amended. ‘But he …’ She let out a breath in embarrassment. God, no wonder the patients loathed all the questions. ‘He withdrew.’

  ‘Did you do it standing up?’ Darcie grinned as she teased. They’d both heard it all before and knew that withdrawal was far from safe.

  ‘I’m not pregnant,’ Isla said. She knew that she wasn’t—her breasts had that heavy feeling they always got when her period was near. Not that it put Darcie off.

  ‘Fine, then you won’t mind peeing in a jar to put my mind at ease. Then I’m going to do a Pap and give you a work-up and get all the boxes ticked so you can hopefully forget about things for another couple of years.’

  ‘You don’t have time.’

  ‘I just made time.’ Darcie smiled. She was a thorough doctor and refused to be rushed by anyone, especially her patients, and a little while later as she looked at the pregnancy card on the desk before her, a patient Isla suddenly was.

  ‘Isla,’ Darcie said, and Isla watched as she pushed the card over to her.

  Isla stared at it for a long moment. There were possibly a thousand thoughts in her head but not a single one of them did she show on her face. She just looked up at Darcie.

  ‘Can we leave the Pap for another ti
me?’ Isla said, her voice completely clear, her expression unreadable.

  ‘Of course, but, Isla—’

  ‘Can we not discuss this, please?’ Isla stood. ‘Just …’ She turned as she got to the door. ‘You won’t tell anyone …’

  ‘You don’t have to ask me that, Isla,’ Darcie said, and Isla nodded. ‘But if you want to talk any time, you can.’

  Isla muttered brief thanks and headed out to her department, and for the first time ever she left early.

  She lay on her bed and just stared at the ceiling and all she felt was stupid, naïve and embarrassed at having got pregnant her first time.

  It was all she could manage to feel as she lay there.

  When the phone bleeped to indicate a text, she knew it was from Alessi but she didn’t even look at it.

  She simply could not bear to think of telling him or even attempt to fathom his reaction.

  Far worse than his anger would be duty.

  Isla lay there, recalling his words—how he’d done the right thing by Talia, how he’d offered to marry her as soon as he’d found out.

  She didn’t want that for either of them.

  They’d been going out for a couple of weeks, which surely meant, given his track record, that they had just about run their course.

  Isla tried to comfort herself, reminded herself that the reason she’d been going on the Pill in the first place was that Alessi himself had wanted to move things forward, to lose the condoms.

  On the proviso that she was on the Pill, though.

  Isla felt a tear slide out and she screwed her eyes shut.

  She heard the door open and Darcie come home and Isla wanted to call out to her, she wanted to sob, hell, she wanted to break down and cry.

  But she didn’t know how to, scared that if she let out a part of her fear then the rest would come gushing out.

  Secrets she had sworn never to reveal.

  CHAPTER THIRTEEN

  ISLA DIDN’T HAVE to try too hard to avoid Alessi.

  That night he was too wrecked to even drive home so he sent a text to Isla to say he was crashing at the hospital. About two seconds after hitting ‘send’ he did just that in the on-call room on the unit.