Coming Home for Christmas

by RaeAnne Thayne

  “Good work,” she said to her daughter, this child she barely knew. “I was honored to be on your team. You’ve got a great arm.”

  “I’m a pretty good pitcher,” she said.

  “Good?” Luke hugged her close. “She struck out thirteen batters in one game.”

  Elizabeth knew how good Cassie was. She had watched her from the stands in three games over the summer.

  Would she be able to continue her trips back to Haven Point, now that her identity was out in the open? Would Luke want her here? Once they divorced, would she be able to have any relationship at all with them?

  Would he allow her visitation? Maybe he would let the children come visit her in Oregon.

  The idea should have thrilled her but it seemed impossible right now, with Cassie’s hostility.

  “How is the Christmas program coming?” she asked as they were sipping their cocoa. The elementary school always did a big program on the last day of school, which was the entire reason she had been planning to come to Haven Point this weekend. They filled the school auditorium with parents and charged admission in the form of a canned good donation to the local food bank.

  “Fine. My group is awesome, anyway. We’re doing a special musical number while the fourth and fifth grades change places on the stage.”

  “I can’t wait. I’m so glad I get to see it.”

  Cassie looked torn for a moment, her gaze shifting between her and Luke as she fiddled with the candy cane she had used to stir her cocoa.

  Finally she faced Elizabeth, eyes almost defiant. “Are you any good at hair?”

  “Hair?” Elizabeth blinked, not expecting the question.

  “You know. Using a curling iron and stuff. Dad tries but he’s not that great, and I’m supposed to have an updo, like the other girls who are doing the song with me.”

  “I see.” Elizabeth sipped at her hot cocoa for a moment to gather her composure. Her daughter was asking her for help with her hair. It might have seemed a simple request to most people, but not to her.

  “If you can’t, it’s no big deal. I can ask Megan or my friend’s mom Devin.”

  “No. I would love to help. I’ll admit, I’m a little out of practice doing someone else’s hair, but I used to spend hours fixing my doll’s hair. I think I can remember.”

  “Okay. Good. Thanks. Can you do it after school on Monday? The show is at seven and I have to be ready by six.”

  “Yes. Of course.” If she had to, she would walk through the snow to be here.

  Elizabeth caught Luke’s gaze. The warmth there almost made the emotions swirling through her bubble over.

  Her daughter wanted her help. Something told her this was a huge step between them and suddenly Monday couldn’t come soon enough.

  Chapter Seventeen

  It was completely ridiculous for him to feel like he was heading out on a date, but Luke was painfully aware of his sweaty palms and the nerves in his stomach as he pulled up to the little house on Riverbend Road.

  He told himself he was edgy only because he had to go to a Christmas party with all the Haven Point Helping Hands, the most intimidating women in town. He knew that was a lie. Megan and her friends didn’t make him nearly as nervous as the idea of spending more time with Elizabeth when he was finding it increasingly hard to resist her.

  She would be leaving in only a few days, a reminder that seemed to cast a dark shadow on his thoughts whenever it popped in.

  They still had so many things to work out between them. All the details with the children now. Visitation, custody.

  He didn’t want to think about any of it, not when his feelings for her had become more tangled than fishing line that had been left over the winter in the bottom of the tackle box.

  That trip to Oregon a week before seemed like a lifetime ago. He had made it there in record time, fueled by coffee and anger and frustration.

  She intended to return to Oregon on Christmas Eve. That gave him only tonight with her and one more day.

  Could he persuade her to stay longer?

  He didn’t know but intended to try.

  She was making progress with Cassie. Their daughter had not completely come around, but he could see the signs that she was softening. She had asked Elizabeth to do her hair for her program the next day, hadn’t she? And she was making something in her room that he suspected might be a gift for her mother.

  Elizabeth couldn’t leave yet but he didn’t know how to persuade her of that.

  He would work on it throughout the party.

  He climbed out of his pickup truck and walked through the clear night to the door. Like she had previously, she opened it before he could ring the bell, as if she had been watching for him.

  Sweetly scented warmth poured out of the house, pine and cinnamon and vanilla, along with Elizabeth’s flowery citrus soap.

  Had it ever smelled so good when he and the children lived here? He seriously doubted that.

  “Hi. I saw you pull up.” She gave a smile that left him a little light-headed.

  He leaned in and kissed her cheek, if only to inhale more of that delectable smell. “You look beautiful.”

  Pink dusted her skin. “Thanks. I had to scramble to find something...appropriate for a party, since I never expected to be attending anything like this when I packed so quickly. Fortunately, a couple of the shops in town are within...walking distance. Linda Fremont’s store has improved...considerably.”

  She wore a formfitting, glossy black long-sleeve dress along with a pashmina in maroon and silver. She had lost too much weight since she had been gone. He had a wild urge to feed her some ice cream.

  “I hope this isn’t too terrible for you, tonight at Megan’s party. I know you don’t like being the center of attention.”

  “Don’t worry about me. I’ll be...fine. I’m looking forward to seeing old...friends. I only hope this is enough to put the rumors to bed about my premature demise, once and for all.”

  “I hope so, too. Thank you for going through it.”

  “Of course. I’m just sorry we have to do this. That people ever...thought such terrible things.”

  He shrugged. “People will say what they want. Even after this week and all you’ve done to make sure everyone in town knows you’re back and why you left, some people will still talk. There’s nothing we can do about that.”

  “I suppose you’re right. I’m still...planning on taking a DNA test when we can arrange it. I still wish there was...something more I could do to fix it all for you.”

  The regret in her voice prompted him to make a confession. “To be honest, the part I hated the most wasn’t what people said about me. It was not knowing what had happened to you. I hated thinking you were out there somewhere. Thinking you were...dead.”

  To his dismay, his voice caught on the last word. He cleared his throat but it was too late. She caught the emotion and gave him a swift look.

  “Luke,” she said, her voice filled with regret and compassion and sorrow, and he couldn’t resist the fierce impulse to wrap his arms around her and hold on tight.

  “I missed you so much,” he confessed gruffly. “Every morning for years, I woke up and looked over to your side of the bed, expecting to find you. Then I would remember and the world fell apart all over again.”

  “I’m sorry,” she said, her arms trembling as she held him tightly. “So sorry. I don’t know what to do except to...to tell you over and over how sorry I am.”

  Was it possible that they could work their way through this? For the first time, Luke began to feel the beginnings of hope, the first glimmer that after a long and difficult storm, the sun just might be coming out.

  She cared about him. He had seen it in her eyes over the past few days as they had spent more time together and shared memories and laughter and time with their children.

&nbs
p; Could they rekindle the love they’d once had? Something told him it would not be that hard. He had never really stopped caring about her. He missed her every day, even when he had hated her for leaving.

  He was still hurt that she felt she had to leave, that she hadn’t turned to him for help. He wasn’t sure he could ever get past that. He was starting to understand her actions a little better. Desperate and afraid, she had felt she had no choices left.

  He knew he wasn’t without blame in the whole situation.

  He had been supportive of her grief after her parents died, had tried to be encouraging and understanding when she struggled with postpartum depression after Cassie. She had been getting better, almost to her old self, when she insisted she wanted to try for another child. He never should have agreed, especially when he was not wholly confident that she had returned to full mental health.

  Of course, that would have meant no Bridger and the world would have been without one amazing kid.

  If only Luke hadn’t fallen asleep that night or had chosen to stay on the inflatable mattress they kept in Bridger’s room. She wouldn’t have hit rock bottom and wouldn’t have been tempted to hurt herself and their baby and subsequently wouldn’t have felt she had to escape into the night.

  They had all paid a price for that decision she had made when she felt desperate and cornered by her own demons, but he was beginning to see that Elizabeth had been the one to pay most dearly.

  While he had known the joy of watching their children grow up and start to become their own people, she had been alone and in pain.

  He leaned down to kiss her forehead, marveling again that her skin tasted the same, despite the years and her injuries and all the reconstructive surgery. She was still his sweet Elizabeth.

  “I wish we could stay here all night, just like this,” he said. It was nothing less than the truth. He found a peace in her arms that he had missed all this time, as if his crazy world could be still for a moment and take a calming breath.

  “That would be...fine with me,” she said with a sigh that sent delicious shivers rippling down his back. “Except I promised Megan and I would...hate to get on your sister’s bad side.”

  He smiled at her dry tone. Both of them knew she had been on Megan’s bad side since she left town. His sister was loyal to a fault.

  “Good call. Neither one of us wants that. Where’s your coat?”

  He helped her into it and ushered them both out into the snow, which was about six inches deep now.

  The inn was only about a half mile from the Riverbend Road house, halfway between there and his own house. He and Elizabeth were both quiet, both wrapped in their thoughts as he drove.

  When they arrived, he could almost see her battle armor clicking into place. As he helped her from the vehicle, she lifted her chin, threw back her shoulders and walked toward the door with determination in her lopsided gait.

  She did not want to be here any more than Luke did, but she was putting herself through the ordeal for him.

  He was beginning to think his wife was one of the most courageous women he had ever known.

  And he didn’t know how he was going to live without that courage when she returned to Oregon and her stately home on the beach.

  * * *

  She couldn’t remember when she had been so tired—and that was saying something, since she was always tired.

  Fatigue seemed to weigh on her shoulders now like a heavy blanket, so heavy she wasn’t sure how much longer her spine would be strong enough to keep her upright.

  She had told her story at least a half dozen times. Everyone who had known her when she lived here before was curious about what had happened to her. She could tell some weren’t sure what to believe.

  How could she blame them? Her journey had been so convoluted and circuitous that she wasn’t sure she would have believed it herself, if she hadn’t lived through it.

  She had a feeling most of these people never believed Luke guilty of any involvement in her disappearance. Megan wouldn’t have kept them as her friends if they did. But she knew these were the influencers in town who would do their best to get the word out to everyone else.

  She could endure any amount of scrutiny if it would make things easier for him here in town after she left.

  “How are you doing?”

  She looked over at Megan’s question and found her sister-in-law holding out a charming little Christmas mug full of mulled wine.

  “I’ve had more...enjoyable holiday parties. And I was...in a coma for one of them.”

  Megan’s laugh seemed to take both of them by surprise.

  “You probably forgot how intimidating folks in Haven Point can be.”

  “I did,” she admitted. “But it’s all...coming back now.”

  Megan’s mouth pursed as if she wanted to say something else, but she seemed to give herself a little mental head shake.

  “Thank you,” her sister-in-law said, her voice stiff but without the animosity Elizabeth had heard there since returning to town. “I know this hasn’t been easy for you.”

  “I want to help Luke however I can,” Elizabeth answered.

  “I know he appreciates it,” Megan said. She looked around the room. “I know not everyone has been kind about you turning up out of the blue. People will come around.”

  Would Megan? Elizabeth wondered with deep sadness for the friendship she feared she had lost forever.

  “I’m not here to win any...popularity contest, only to convince everyone that I left on my own and Luke had nothing to do with it.”

  “I have something for you,” Megan said after a moment. “I was going to wait until after the party but I’m not sure when I’ll have another chance. I would like to give it to you now.”

  Elizabeth blinked, not sure what to say. A gift from Megan was something she never would have expected. Her sister-in-law still held deep anger at her for leaving town, abandoning her family and consigning Luke to be the victim of rumor and innuendo. Why would she be giving her a gift?

  “Thank you.”

  “It’s not much,” Megan warned. “Come with me. It’s in my office.”

  Her sister-in-law led the way. Elizabeth followed, not knowing what to expect when Megan handed her a blue-and-silver gift bag with snowflake tissue paper.

  “You don’t have to open it now if you don’t want to. You can take it back to the house and look at it later.”

  “May I?” Elizabeth asked, intrigued.

  Megan shrugged, her usual brash confidence nowhere in sight. If Elizabeth wasn’t mistaken, she would have said her sister-in-law looked uncomfortable.

  Elizabeth’s hands were a little more unsteady than she would have liked, which she chalked up to the stress of the evening and the fact that she hadn’t eaten much since breakfast except a few vegetable appetizers.

  Growing more curious by the moment, she carefully opened the bag and withdrew another square present that was wrapped in more tissue paper and tied with a blue ribbon. Her hands were ridiculously shaky and she really hoped Megan didn’t notice.

  It was a book, she quickly realized, her heart pounding. She opened the cover and instantly felt tears begin to burn.

  “Photographs. Oh, Megan.”

  Her sister-in-law had filled a photo album with photographs of the children at different stages of their lives. Hundreds of them. All the things Elizabeth had missed.

  The first page was of Christmas, probably the first one after she had left. Bridger and Cassie looked to be about the ages she remembered, Bridger chubby and cute and Cassie with that bossy tilt to her head.

  She quickly flipped through and saw their ages progress. She registered one of a toddler Bridger, arms outstretched as he tried to balance himself. Another of Cassie wearing a backpack and a gap-toothed smile and holding a sign that read First Day of Kinderg
arten. The two of them on a fishing trip in the mountains, both showing off strings of trout.

  There were more. Pages of them. She wanted to grab the entire book and hold it close to her chest.

  Heart pounding, unable to believe the magnitude of the gift, she lifted her gaze to her sister-in-law.

  Megan shifted, her cheeks rosy. “It’s not much.”

  “Not much.” Elizabeth could hardly get the words out. “It’s everything. I don’t...I don’t know how to thank you.”

  Megan was a brilliant photographer, had even displayed her work at an art gallery, Elizabeth had learned in her time back in Haven Point. In the few images she saw, Megan’s skill showed through. None of them were elaborate or staged, only candid shots of the children going through their everyday lives, but they were perfect.

  She wanted to sit in this office, lock the door behind her and spend hours staring at each picture.

  “I made copies of as many candid photos as I could find. I have more but these are some of my favorites.”

  “Oh, Megan. This is a...a priceless gift. I...I can’t thank you enough.”

  The tears she had tried to contain began to trickle down. Her makeup was going to run but she didn’t care. No gift had ever meant as much.

  “It was Luke’s idea,” her sister-in-law said briskly. “We have home video as well, but I didn’t want to bombard you with everything at once.”

  “No. This is...this is perfect. The best gift I’ve ever received.”

  “I’m glad you like it.”

  Megan’s features seemed to soften a little. Was there some chance she could find peace with her sister-in-law?

  She took a chance and approached the other woman.

  “You didn’t have to go to all this...work but I’m so very...happy you did.”

  She hugged Megan, and after an awkward moment, Luke’s sister returned the hug, though she quickly stepped away.

  “Feel free to hang out for a while in here and look at the book, if you want.”

  Oh, she did. More than anything. But she was here tonight for Luke, not to rediscover her children. “I want to look at it...later when I have time to pore over every...page.”