Breathe Again

by Rachel Brookes

  With my hand clasped tightly in Savannah’s and my other hand protectively gripping Max’s, we walked along the pier looking like the perfect family we were. Everything was finally perfection with us. Even though our relationship was far from easy, it had made us who we were today. It had embraced our stubborn traits and made us work for every part of our relationship. It had made us uniquely perfect for each other, and through everything, I knew this girl beside me was it for me. There was no one else. She was the mother of my child, the owner of my heart, the perfect beam of light that lit up my darkened life.

  “Daddy!” Max’s voice ripped me from my thoughts.

  “What’s up, buddy?” I looked between Max and Sav, who was looking at me with an amused expression. Sav turned towards Tanzi and started laughing at something randomly before dropping my hand and walking towards a store hand in hand with Tanzi.

  “Uncle Jack said a naughty word.”

  “What? When? I am on complete Max watch when I am around him!” Jack’s shriek caused deep laughter to roar from inside of me. “Do you realize how hard it is not to drop the F-bomb?”

  “I heard him say a-s-s the other day,” I spelled out. “And he sounded exactly like Savannah with his Aussie twang. It was seriously cute. I couldn’t really discipline him for it, considering I laughed so hard.”

  “He is going to be the biggest ladykiller.”

  “Yeah, tell me about it.”

  “I’ve got a girlfriend,” Max suddenly announced. The three of us stopped mid-sentence and looked at the little boy smiling up at us. “Her name is Daisy.”

  Lucas laughed beside me and mumbled, “Exactly like his mother and father.”

  My laughter soon joined his. Picking up Max, I placed him on a seat at the table we were sitting at for lunch. “Where did you meet your girlfriend, Max?”

  Without missing a beat, he looked me square in the eyes and said, “In my dreams.” He nodded self-assuredly and looked between me, Lucas, and Jack with a certain grin. “That’s where you met Mummy.”

  “He did not just say that!” Jack roared with laughter across the table. My son was a fucking Casanova at three years of age. What hope did the future women of the world have?

  “Daddy teaches me a lot of things.” My eyes shot open at his words. Oh god, what the hell has he seen?

  “I’m sure he does, Maxey.” Jack laughed. “I’m sure he does.”

  “I might have to get locks on the bedroom door,” I muttered to Lucas.

  Max started talking to Jack about god only knew what, but by the constant laughter coming from Jack, I was sure I would be informed. Max had absolutely no filter, just like his aunt Tanzi. He said what he wanted, when he wanted, and with no consequence. He was going to be a danger to society when he was older, and I knew for a fact that my mom loved every minute of it. The words “Payback is a bitch” had been heard from her on more than one occasion.

  Savannah and Tanzi walked towards us, arms full of food and drinks. My eyes drank in Savannah.

  “You feeling good about this?” Lucas asked from beside me. I turned to him and nodded. The fact that I now classed him as one of my closest friends shocked even me some days. He was good to my cousin, he was protective of my son, and he loved my girlfriend like a sister. That was more than I could have asked for. And he knew some damn good surf breaks.

  My courage barged in as Sav sat beside me. I watched as she tended to Max, giving him half of his cheeseburger and ‘chips,’ as they both liked to call them. Oh, and of course his ‘chips’ had to be smothered with ‘tomato sauce.’ There was no way he would call it ketchup. Seriously, I could swear they were attempting to make me Australian.

  “Max, what’s this?” Jack asked, holding up the bottle of ketchup.

  “Tomato sauce,” Max said matter-of-factly.

  “No, remember what Uncle Jack taught you yesterday? Ketchup.”

  “Don’t teach my child American,” Sav laughed from beside me, throwing one of her fries at him. “He said flip-flops this morning, Jack. They are and will always be thongs.”

  “Do you really want him to be saying to some chick when he is eighteen, ‘Show me your thongs’?”

  “Point taken.”

  “But with parents like you and Tate, this kid is going to be a fucking heartbreaker. Wouldn’t surprise me if he pulled out lines like that.”

  The banter between Sav and Jack continued to fill the table as we all ate our lunch, but I sat in silence. Tanzi’s eyes flashed to mine over the table in silent encouragement, and I knew full well that she was reading me like no one else could. I nodded to her, telling her that it had to happen now.

  “Maxey, you stay here for a minute while Mommy and Daddy go up there, okay?” I swallowed hard and pointed to the Ferris wheel behind us. Savannah’s eyes widened in shock, but the smile on her lips showed her excitement. Why did I have to have a girlfriend who had no fear when it came to heights? Pushing back my chair, I stood and held out my hand to Sav, which she clasped tightly.

  “Why are you doing this to yourself?” She laughed as we walked towards the line. She took her hand from mine and wrapped her arm around my waist before nuzzling into my side.

  “It’s the thing you do for the girl you love.” I smirked. “Either that or I have a death wish.”

  Sliding into the seat beside her, I watched with petrified eyes as a boy who barely looked like he was old enough to work let alone be responsible for our safety closed the gate. I grabbed hold of the rail and rattled it to make sure we were secured in. Fuck, I hate heights. Sav slid on the seat so that she was facing me, her face calm and her eyes looking at me with happiness.

  “You didn’t have to do this.” She grabbed my hands, bringing them to her lips. “I could have gotten someone else to come with me.”

  All I could do was nod. Once again, my ability to speak had been thrown out the window as fear swept through me. With a jerk, we started the painfully slow rise from the safety of the ground. My eyes locked with Savannah’s in a desperate attempt of safety. I could feel the familiar tightening of my chest and the clamminess of my hands against my jeans.

  “The things I do for you,” I choked out and smiled slightly. “If this isn’t love, then I don’t know what is.”

  Sav’s attention moved from me to take a glance over the edge. She looked out over the Pacific Ocean as we slowly rose to the peak. The smile gracing her face was pure contentment. If I saw a smile like that on her face every day, then I’d die a happy man.

  The Ferris wheel came to a stop as we reached the highest peak. My fear of heights had been stolen by my nerves of the next words that would come out of my mouth. Grabbing both of her hands, Sav shifted in the seat so she was facing me. This was it.

  “Savannah Rae, my life changed the moment I first saw you in the lobby. You were the most beautiful girl I had ever seen and I remember that first moment like it was yesterday. You were so different from anyone I had ever seen and my urge to be near you was so strong. I thought that would be it. I thought we would have our moment in the elevator and that would be it, but then fate stepped in and you were my twin’s best friend.” I took a deep breath, knowing that it was now or never.

  This was a moment that had been coming for so long. I loved this girl more than I could have ever imagined, and now, as we sat at the top of the world, I hoped today would be the start of a whole new chapter in the book of Tate Connors and Savannah Rae. I dropped to my knee in the bottom of the carriage and looked up at her through hopeful eyes. Her gasp filled the air around us.

  “You made me become a man, Sav. You made me face everything head-on because I was desperate to be the man an amazing woman like you deserved. And until I take my last breath, I will continue to be that man for you. You own my heart completely. I love you like I’ve never loved before, I crave you like I’ve never craved before, and I am bound to you for life. Will you be bound to me for life, Sav? Would you take my name and be with me in every sense of the word? Will
you marry me, Savannah Maree Rae?

  Savannah

  Six months later

  I OFTEN felt like I was living a never-ending fairytale, a fairy tale that I was still in the middle of and one I never wanted to finish. It felt like an eternity since I’d left Australia for the first time, and thinking back to the girl I had been when I left caused a shudder to run through my body. The thought of that Savannah was like thinking of someone completely different. She was a stranger, a shadow of who I was today. I had been so utterly and completely screwed up, but I would never have realized that at the time. To me, I had been living the life. Screwing random men into oblivion, partying until the sun came up, drinking ‘til I passed out and forgot the world. That had been reality to me. Now I knew that I’d left Australia a shattered and broken young woman. I had been destroyed, hell-bent on self-destruction, and living the life I’d thought I’d deserved. Happiness had been a myth, a legend that I’d thought I would never meet, a legend I’d never wanted to meet. I had been a walking contradiction, a disgrace to my family, and a constant heartache to the only person who had truly accepted me—Mr. Davenport.

  Moving to the States had been the best damn decision of my life.

  What I hadn’t expected when I arrived in the bright lights of Los Angeles was to find love, to find my second chance, to find the other broken, fractured part of my heart. Tate Connors, my stubborn, frustrating, and amazing savior. To find a partner who loved me for all of my faults, who loved me for all of my scars, and who understood loss like I did was something I could never have imagined finding. Never in my wildest dreams had I thought I’d be lucky enough to find the one.

  And now today I was going to become Mrs. Tate Connors.

  As the sunshine of California beamed through the house, I was feeling like I was Cinderella living a crazy fairytale, getting ready to meet my prince charming. I was so lovesick that it was pathetic.

  The moment Tate had asked me to marry him, everything had fallen into place. I had no idea he was going to do that, and to be honest, he’d shocked the life out of me. But there had been no other answer I could give him. Of course it had been a giant yes.

  And that was when the craziness of planning a wedding started. I felt like the past six months had been the craziest ride of my life. Tanzi had gone straight into complete wedding-planner mode the moment we’d gotten off the Ferris wheel and announced our engagement, and since then all I’d had to do was say yes or no and she’d gotten things organised. She had been incredible, and I couldn’t have asked for a better maid of honor. Well, besides the three a.m. calls when she got a brilliant idea about flowers or cakes.

  All I wanted was a twilight beach wedding, something simple yet elegant, with Tate, Max, and me, surrounded by our family and friends, and that’s what we were getting.

  “Sav, where are you?” Mr. Davenport’s strong voice rumbled through the living area. Wrapping my satin bride-to-be dressing gown around me—a gift from Tanzi and Ali—I walked out of the bathroom and grinned at him. “Well how’s the wife-to-be going?”

  Walking towards him, I stood on my tiptoes, placing a light kiss on his cheek, and couldn’t wipe the smile off my face. “I am feeling good. I don’t think it’s really hit me yet what today actually is.”

  “Are you here on your own?” he asked, looking around the empty room.

  “Tanzi and Ali have gone to the liquor store. They forgot champagne.”

  “Well, I just wanted to come here and tell you something, but I don’t want you to freak out, okay?” His face looked panicked.

  “You cannot start a conversation like that. Has Tate decided he doesn’t want to marry me? I knew this was too good to be true. Seriously, could he not have come and told me himself? I am going to kill him!” I groaned in frustration, collapsing on the couch and dropping my head into my hands. Worst-case scenario swamped me.

  “Savannah!” His voice rose to grab my frantic attention. “Calm the hell down. Tate is coming. You are getting married today.”

  Raising my head, I looked at him sheepishly. “Well what do you have to tell me?”

  He swallowed hard, his eyes darting away from me quickly as if he were nervous. Mr. Davenport never got nervous—ever. What the hell was going on? “I’ve met someone.”

  Did I really just hear that? I felt my lips curving into an excited smile.

  I taunted, standing from the couch and walking towards him. “Say again?”

  “Jesus, Savannah. I know you heard me.” He ran his hands frustratingly through his hair and groaned. “I’ve met someone and I’ve invited her today.”

  I barreled into him, my arms wrapping around him tightly as I nearly squeezed the life out of him. His soft laughter rang through my ears. I had been waiting years for this moment. Mr. Davenport finally had a lady friend! Shit! Tanzi would be devastated.

  “What’s the lucky lady’s name? Where is she from? How did you meet her? Why the hell are you only telling me now? Tanzi will be crushed!” I breathed out at a hundred miles an hour.

  “I feel like I’m being interrogated,” he scoffed and sat on the couch, grabbing my hand and pulling me down beside him. “Her name is Georgie, she is from England, I met her at a Beautify function, and as for Tanzi, I am sure she will get over her insistent love for me. The reason I haven’t told you about Georgie is because I wanted to make sure it was serious before I introduced her to my family.”

  “I can’t wait to meet her,” I admitted softly. I had been waiting for him to find someone special for years. Yes, he dated but he had never introduced me to any of them—not one. It was only ever him and me.”I can’t believe I’m—”

  “Savannah, we are back!” Tanzi shrilled, breaking my conversation with Mr. Davenport.

  He stood from the couch, kissing my forehead before walking towards my gawking best friend. Seriously, her obsession with Mr. Davenport was becoming concerning. She fired him a wink before rushing to the kitchen, and the clink of glasses indicated that I was about to be drinking my first glass of champagne.

  “I’ll leave you girls to get organized. I’ll be back soon.”

  The afternoon was spent in a rush of makeup, flowers, champagne, and laughter. Having Tanzi and Ali excitedly chatting and getting eager by the second as they fussed over my hair and makeup made me forget the nerves that were quickly growing within my butterfly-infested stomach. I was getting married today. Savannah Rae was getting married.

  “Let’s get you into this beautiful dress.” Ali reached for my wedding dressing hanging from the mirror in Tate’s and my bedroom. Slipping my robe off my shoulders, I stood in the middle of the room in only my new baby pink lingerie that I had been given on my hens’ night.

  “I still find it so amusing that you call a bachelorette party a hens’ night. You Australians crack me up,” Tanzi laughed as she took me in. “You are a vixen, Miss Rae. My brother is going to die when he sees you in this.”

  “I am hoping I won’t be in it for very long once he sees me. I plan on consummating this marriage in every way imaginable.” I chuckled at the look of disgust that swept over Tanzi’s face. “Your brother’s self-imposed ‘one week of no sex before the wedding’ has almost killed me. I’m sorry, Tanzi, but your brother needs to be between my thighs and fast.”

  “Fuck, Savannah. Do you seriously need to say that?”

  “It’s payback for all the Mr. Davenport comments you make.”

  “Okay, you two. Let’s get Sav into this dress. It’s almost time!” Ali’s calming voice broke my amused gaze at Tanzi as I looked towards the dress Ali was holding.

  The satin material slid down my body, caressing my curves perfectly, shimmering over my hips, and falling to the floor. With shaking hands, Tanzi zipped me up and then they both took a step away and focused solely on me.

  “Do I look okay?” I asked nervously after neither of them said a word.

  “You are absolutely breathtaking,” Ali whispered as Tanzi gasped and a single tear ran over he
r cheek. “I am going to quickly see if everything is okay with the boys and I’ll be back to get ready and then watch you marry my cousin.”

  Ali left shortly after, and I helped Tanzi into her dress in complete silence. The perfect pink Grecian dress clung to her perfect hourglass body and made her gorgeous blue eyes pop. Her chocolate brown hair fell over her shoulders in a waterfall of loose curls. She looked like a goddess.

  “Can you believe you are here?” she asked softly as I placed the necklace I had purchased her around her neck.

  “Never in my wildest dreams did I think I would get married. Love, babies, and marriage weren’t in my cards,” I admitted, offering a smile as she turned around towards me.

  “I couldn’t ask for a better girl for my twin.” Her voice cracked under the honesty of her words. Her eyes bored into mine as tears taunted the edges, begging to flow over her cheeks, and soon I felt my own tears forming under the intensity of the moment. “I’ll be honest with you, Sav. I was terrified when you two started dating. I was terrified because I had finally found the best friend I had been craving my entire life. The moment we met, I felt like I had not only gained a best friend but I had gained a sister, and I was terrified my brother would screw it up for me. It was selfish, I know.”

  Tanzi breathed deeply and grabbed both of my hands in hers. “But then I started to witness the most amazing thing. I witnessed my brother growing, loving, and becoming completely devoted to someone in a way I could never have ever wished for. You changed him, Sav. You made him come alive. You made him open his heart and become the man I always knew he could be. You make my brother happy, and for that, I will be forever indebted to you. I thought I had lost Tate, but you found him and gave him back to me. Are you ready to become, Mrs. Tate Connors?”

  “I’ve wanted this from the moment your brother said I had a nice arse.”