Myself and I

by Earl Sewell

  “I’ve been thinking about a lot of things, but to answer your question, yes, I have thought about you.”

  “That’s so nice to know.”

  “Keysha, why are you here?” His tone of voice was humorless.

  “I came to see you,” I said, trying to get him to loosen up.

  “Keysha, you’re lying, and I can tell.” Wesley called me on the carpet.

  “Okay, so I did come out here to see you for a specific reason,” I admitted. Wesley leaned back in his chair and stared at me critically.

  I took a deep breath before I began. I explained everything that had happened and how I believed Lori and Priscilla had been plotting against me and how I’d like for him to talk to Lori and get her to confess so that my name could be cleared.

  “Keysha,” he spoke softly, “give me your hands.” I placed my hands on the table before me and he placed his on top of them. “I can’t help you.”

  “You can’t or you won’t?” I asked because I didn’t like what I was hearing.

  “Think about what you’re saying. You’ve come all this way just to tell me that you want to use me.” I hadn’t thought he’d view it like that.

  “But it’s not like that, really,” I said, trying to convince him otherwise.

  “Yes it is, Keysha. I’m trying to help myself right now and you’ve got to respect that. I can’t help you with Lori even if I could. She has more twists in her personality than a tornado. She’s going to make a great politician one day. But Lori moves to the beat of her own drummer. She’s sneaky and treacherous, and I’m glad that I found the strength to get away from her.”

  “But I need you,” I whined.

  “I need myself, Keysha. I’m in a rehab facility fighting for my dignity and self-respect. I’m not going to go around trying to be a hero to every girl I meet. You’ve taught me that. I need to be my own warrior right now. I’m not going to involve myself in your drama, Keysha. Not this time.” Wesley paused for a long moment as he gazed into my sorrowful eyes. There was truly nothing left to say. He squeezed my hands, rose to his feet and left.

  twenty-one

  I stepped out into the sunlight, put on my sunglasses and tried to keep my emotions from getting the best of me. I got in the car and told the driver that he could drop me off where he’d picked me up. The thought of drowning myself once again entered my mind, because I thought it would be the quickest way to solve all of my problems.

  The driver dropped me back off. When I got out of the car I just stood still, unsure of what to do next. I glanced behind me and looked over at all of the squealing and happy children splashing around in the water and realized that I’d truly loved my job and missed it. I caught a quick glimpse of the lifeguard they’d replaced me with and became even more depressed. I decided to walk home. It would take longer, but I was in no rush to get there. I felt so drained, humiliated and defeated. I truly just wanted to crawl under a rock and die.

  By the time I made it back to the house, my feet were aching and I was thirsty. When I entered the house Jordan asked me to come up and have a seat. I walked up the steps into the family room and saw Barbara and Jordan waiting on me to join them.

  “Come on. Have a seat,” he said. I tried to read their body language to see if I could get a clue as to what was going on. “Barbara and I have been discussing you.”

  I took a few deep breaths and sat down. “None of this is my fault. You don’t have to send me off with strangers who want to psychoanalyze me and—” I choked up and couldn’t even finish my sentence.

  “Keysha, look at me.” Barbara tried to sound calm, but I could hear the cynicism that was there. I tilted my chin up and met her gaze. Just as she was about to say something the doorbell rang. Jordan got up and took a peek out the window.

  “It’s some girl,” he said. “Keysha, is this a friend of yours?” he asked, wanting me to take a look. I walked over to the window and nearly had a coronary when I saw who was standing there.

  “Priscilla Grisby?” I said, totally perplexed by her presence.

  “Well, tell her it’s not a good time right now and that she’ll have to come back.” Jordan was clear about what I needed to do. I walked down the steps and opened the door.

  “Yeah?” I asked, questioning why she was there.

  “Hey,” she greeted me. “Can I come in and talk to you for a minute?”

  “This is a really bad time right now,” I explained.

  “It won’t take long, I promise,” Priscilla insisted. Jordan overheard her and decided to handle the matter himself.

  “Look, young lady, Keysha is in a world of trouble right now, and it’s just not a very good time for her to have visitors.”

  “I know. And I’m partly to blame for what’s happened.” Priscilla looked pleadingly at Jordan. “Please, I think I can help clear her name and maybe even get the charges against her dropped.” When Priscilla said that I felt my knees go weak.

  “Well, in that case, do come in,” Jordan said, allowing her to come inside. Priscilla situated herself on the sofa next to me while Jordan and Priscilla sat in two chairs facing us.

  “This is sort of complicated, so I’m just going to start where I think it will make the most sense, okay?” said Priscilla.

  “By all means. Please tell us what you know. I personally think that Keysha put you up to coming here,” Barbara said, thinking this was just another elaborate scheme.

  “No, Mrs. Kendall. That’s just not true. Trust me when I say that I literally hated Keysha at one point. I’m the girl who ruined her prom dress.” Barbara’s entire facial expression changed when Priscilla admitted that.

  “Some of what I’m going to say is pretty graphic, so please bear with me,” Priscilla said nervously.

  “Trust me, at this point we can handle anything,” said Jordan.

  “Okay, first things first. Keysha didn’t do any of the horrible things that the police believe she’s done. She’s totally innocent.”

  “So what is this all about?” Barbara asked.

  “Well the truth is that the beef is over two boys.” Priscilla paused and took a deep breath. “When Wesley was in Indiana he met Lori, who in her own way forced him to get involved in a fight she was having with her boyfriend. She claimed that her thug boyfriend was trying to take advantage of her sexually, but they’d really had sex before. Lori then decided she wanted Wesley for herself even though she knew he was dating Keysha. She basically forced herself on him. When Wesley came back home he had no idea that Lori was moving back in with her father, who doesn’t live too far from here. Keysha had no clue how conniving Lori truly is, and neither did I until recently. All Keysha knew for sure was that Wesley appeared to be messing around with another girl, so she dumped him, which is exactly what Lori wanted. Then Keysha started dating Antonio, which made me hate her because I’m pregnant with his baby.”

  “Oh, wow,” said Jordan, who was completely blown away by what Priscilla was sharing.

  “I know. I’m going to be the poster child for why you should use protection when you decide to have sex. Antonio and I dated each other secretly because my parents didn’t allow me to date. Antonio got to the point that he completely ignored me in order to be with Keysha, but he didn’t know that I was pregnant. So on prom night I got so upset when I saw them together that I threw an entire bowl of punch on both of them. I ruined your prom dress, and I’m so sorry for that,” Priscilla apologized. I remained silent as she continued. “When Keysha found out about the pregnancy, she broke up with Antonio, which is what I wanted, so I could work on making him stand up and be a good father to our child.”

  “I can’t believe how messy this is,” Barbara whispered and swiveled her head disapprovingly.

  “I know. It’s not pretty. Then Lori and I met one day and she was asking about my baby and thought that it was so cool that I was pregnant. She was the first person who made me feel good about the mistake, and I guess I just needed that type of assurance becaus
e I was so afraid and she seemed so fearless. We soon discovered that we both hated Keysha because she’d dated both of our boyfriends. Lori really fueled the flames of hate when she made up lies about you trying to steal Wesley back and suggested that I keep an eye on Antonio as well. Lori just kept feeding me all of these lies about Keysha until I started to believe they were true. Then something horrible happened.” Priscilla stopped, opened her purse and pulled out a Kleenex to blow her nose.

  “I found out that Lori was not only dating Wesley, but she was cheating on him with Antonio.”

  “No way!” I looked at Priscilla with shock and awe.

  “Yup.” Priscilla held her head down. “It’s true.”

  “Well, how can you be certain?” Barbara asked.

  “Oh, trust me, Mrs. Kendall, I’m very certain. What Lori didn’t know is that her ex-boyfriend back in Indianapolis had given her a sexually transmitted disease called chlamydia. She slept with Wesley and gave it to him.”

  I had a sudden flashback when she said that. I remembered the day when I was talking to Wesley at the clubhouse when he mentioned having a burning sensation. I did understand enough about sexually transmitted diseases to know that infected boys feel a burning sensation when peeing. “She’s right,” I said, supporting her claim.

  “After Antonio slept with Lori, we slept together and had unprotected sex because I figured…” Priscilla began crying again “…that I couldn’t get pregnant twice. I never once thought he’d give me a sexually transmitted disease.” It took a moment for Priscilla to gather herself.

  “That bastard Antonio had the nerve to say that I’d been messing around on him. I had to remind him that I’d been going to my prenatal visits and was perfectly healthy until I had sex with him. He finally confessed that he’d been burning but was too afraid to go to the doctor. He admitted that he started having problems after he had unprotected sex with Lori.”

  “So what does all this have to do with Keysha and her case?” Jordan asked unsympathetically.

  Barbara jabbed him in the ribs with her elbow. “Jordan, calm down. I’m sure she’ll explain.”

  “I was angry and I was hurt,” Priscilla continued. “My life is so screwed up right now. My dad is disappointed in me, and my mother is at a total loss for words.”

  “I know that feeling,” I said placing my index finger to my forehead.

  Priscilla glanced in my direction, then turned back to face Jordan and Barbara. “The other day Lori came over to my house. I let her in because I secretly planned on doing something to her but I didn’t know exactly what. She had no clue that I knew she’d been screwing around with Antonio. The only thing she talked about was how she’d gotten even with Keysha for screwing up her relationship with Wesley. She was proud of herself for what she’d done. Now that I think about it, she was just incredibly jealous of you, Keysha.” Priscilla turned to face me once again. “She went into a trance when she talked about how she’d finally gotten even with you after the fight you guys had.”

  “Wait a minute. When were you fighting, Keysha?” Jordan asked.

  “It wasn’t a fight. It was self-defense. She came up to me one day when I was standing at the bus stop and slapped me, so I hit her back,” I explained.

  Priscilla pulled out her cell phone. “Look, I recorded her talking about how she’d finally got even with Keysha by leading the police to believe that Keysha was the one responsible for all the vandalism. She even got Antonio to go along with her.” Priscilla pressed Play on her cell phone and sure enough, there was Lori clear as day, bragging about what she’d done.

  “Yeah, I got even with that trick Keysha. I set up her up real good. I got the police thinking all kinds of crazy stuff about her. All I had to do was call them and tell a big ole story about how I saw Keysha trashing an empty house and how I saw her going around the party asking other people to help her break into the place.” Lori laughed. “I even got Antonio to say that she’d asked him as well. Isn’t that cool, Priscilla? I am so slick that I ruined her life without even touching her. That’s what she gets for always sticking her nose in other people’s business.”

  When the one-minute clip stopped, Priscilla said, “If you give me your information, I’ll forward it to you so you can share it with the police.”

  “So, you’re only telling us all of this because you want to get even with Lori,” Barbara surmised.

  “No.” Priscilla shook her head and waved her hand. “I’ve known this for a few days and I wasn’t going to say or share any of it because I didn’t want to see the father of my child in jail for lying on Keysha.”

  “So why the change of heart?” Jordan asked.

  Priscilla sniffled and then exhaled. “Because I was so mean to Keysha. I treated her like crap when she got the lead part in the school play, I ruined her prom, and despite all I’d done to make her life miserable, she jumped into the swimming pool to save my life and the life of my unborn child. It was such a selfless act, and I never even said thank-you. I feel so guilty about that.” Pricilla’s lips began trembling and she couldn’t hold back the flood of tears that immediately followed.

  I sat there in shock. I felt as if I’d just been struck by a bolt of lightning and was paralyzed. It took me a minute to realize that Priscilla was actually a very nice person. I repositioned myself on the sofa and embraced her.

  “You’re so welcome,” I whispered to her as I cradled the back of her head and rocked back and forth with her as she let out all the pain, hatred and guilt she’d been carrying around in her heart.

  twenty-two

  Jordan, Barbara, Mike and I took great pleasure in presenting the recorded evidence to detectives Crane and Rosati. They both looked superstupid to me when they heard it, but they did offer their apologies and assured us that once again the charges against me would be dropped.

  Even after all she’d gone through with Antonio, Priscilla still wanted to give him another chance for the sake of their unborn child, which Antonio finally admitted was probably his. I told Priscilla that I’d like her to become friends with Maya and me, and she welcomed the invitation.

  It didn’t take long for things to return to normal. Everyone was talking to each other again, and Jordan finally got his prized car returned to the garage where it belonged. It was pretty banged up, but Jordan was confident that once the dents were pulled out and the car got a fresh paint job it would once again look perfect. They also stopped talking about sending me to reform school and Mike to a therapist. Mike and I were both happy about that.

  After the police dropped the charges, to my utter shock, Detective Rosati paid a personal visit to the head of the park district, who happened to be an old friend of his from high school, and asked if there was any way I could get my job back, because he felt responsible. Lucky for me they still hadn’t found anyone to replace Maya, and I was offered the chance to come back under her work schedule, which of course made me very happy.

  It was now seven o’clock on a Saturday night and no one was at the pool except me. It had been a hectic day, but I’d had a lot of help from my little stalker, Alex, who was now more determined than ever to make me his girlfriend. But I enjoyed every minute of it. I hadn’t spoken to or seen Jerry and I really didn’t want to for that matter. I assumed that after the wild party he and his brother had had that he was on total lockdown for the summer, and that suited me just fine.

  Wesley’s father had stopped by the pool earlier and given me a handwritten letter that Wesley had asked him to give to me. I read it, and the first thing he asked was if I was still in hot water. Although he couldn’t help me, the fact that he still cared meant a lot to me. He also said that he was more determined than ever to get his head screwed on straight.

  “He told me to tell you that he says thank-you saving him,” his father told me.

  “I didn’t do anything, though,” I quickly explained.

  “You told him what he needed to hear, Keysha. Sometimes a person doesn’t realize h
ow powerful their words are.” His dad smiled. “I want to thank you for whatever it was that you said that made him see the light.”

  I glanced at the letter and then back at his father. “Tell him I said to call me when he gets out.”

  “I sure will,” said his father before turning to leave.

  Maya was doing as well as could be expected. She complained constantly about not being able to bend her knees when she used the restroom, but she was somehow making it all work. Misalo would sneak over to her house while her parents were at work to spend time with her. Although Maya wasn’t supposed to have company, she let him in. I knew she was going to go against her parents with it came to her boo.

  For the first time in my life I felt at peace. Swimming was so incredibly relaxing. I could glide through the water as if flying through air. I could clear my mind and hear myself think. I never thought I’d ever hear myself say that I loved swimming or that I loved myself.

  I decided to go for an evening dip. I walked down to the deep end, mounted the diving board and walked to the edge. I glanced down at the clear water, smiled at my wavy reflection and dove in. It felt fabulous to spend time with me, myself and I.

  READING GUIDE QUESTIONS

  In what ways has Keysha changed since you first met her in Keysha’s Drama?

  Why do you think the supporting characters in this book were so quick to believe all the lies and rumors that were going around about Keysha?

  If Priscilla were as mean to you as she was to Keysha and needed help to save her life, would you have helped her? Why or why not?

  For many African-American teenage girls getting their hair wet is a huge issue, so learning how to swim, which is a lifesaving skill, is oftentimes avoided. Discuss the reasons why you think African-American girls should learn how to swim and ways to manage their hair.

  Why do you think Antonio wanted nothing to do with Priscilla when she told him she was pregnant?