Innocent Tears

by Iris Blobel

  * * *

  * * *

  Flynn sat in front of his desk and the many files, but couldn’t concentrate. Emma’s cold stare still gave him shivers. Boy, did he like and despise that woman at the same time. Yet every time he was near her, he forgot about everything and everyone around him, and he just wanted to touch her again. He turned and looked out the window, up into the grey Melbourne sky. Good grief! He enjoyed kissing her so much. Her beautiful warm mouth was so soft and her kiss so innocent. Taking a deep breath he stood up and walked over to the window. Usually the view across the river gave him a sense of calm, but today it didn’t work.

  His mind drifted off to thoughts of Saz. He had been tossing around the idea of taking Nadine to Launceston for a couple of days to visit Sarah’s grave, but hadn’t made up his mind yet. His stomach churned at the thought of never seeing her again. And he was afraid of any raw emotions surfacing, his or Nadine’s. Postponing was the keyword for him, but he knew he put it aside intentionally. Aware that he had to bring up the subject one day, he hoped that it would be better to find some common ground for more bonding first. More? Who was he kidding? He would like to even just have a little bit of bonding.

  Startled by a knock at the door, he turned around to see Joyce standing inside. A smile came to his lips.

  “How can I help you?”

  She stepped closer and placed another file on his desk. Sighing, she took in the pile of paperwork on his desk. “I feel it’s more a matter of what can I do for you.” She sat on the chair. “You look tired, Flynn. I thought it was all sorted on the home front.”

  He shook his head, gazed out the window, and slowly began to tell the story. “A few years back, Sarah lied to her parents so we could go camping for a weekend. She had organised her friend to be the decoy. We were both looking forward to spending some time on our own.” His gaze dropped to his feet. “Boy, I was excited. I drove to the next big town along the coast to get condoms.” He choked back a laugh and looked over to Joyce before he continued with his story. “I picked her up at her friend’s place and we headed off to a nearby place in the forest. Great place. I had been camping there a couple of times with my dad and knew she’d like it. It was a little creek in the thick of the bush. The edge of the water was flanked by mossy rocks.” He raked his hand through his hair. “Anyway, I pitched up the tent while Sarah gathered wood for a fire. I heard her calling and obviously ran over quickly, afraid she would’ve hurt herself. But it wasn’t her who was hurt. She had found a little injured possum out there in the bush.”

  Joyce leaned back into the chair. “I like her already.”

  He snorted. “So much for a romantic camping weekend! She fussed and hovered over that possum like a mother. I had to give up my pillow cover for it to sleep in.”

  “You didn’t take it to the RSPCA?” she asked surprised.

  He shook his head. “It was too late already, and remember, I had different ideas for the night than rescuing a possum.”

  Joyce laughed. “I can only imagine.”

  “Anyway, we did take it to the RSPCA the next day, after a night of nursing and looking after it. Needless to say, the box of condoms was never opened,” he added with a smirk.

  With only a few steps he walked over to his chair and sat down. He leaned forward and rested his elbows on the desk. “Nadine came home the other day after a day at the zoo. She did tell me about a few animals, but it was obvious that her mind was occupied by a little monkey who had fallen off the tree and injured itself. She asked me to ring the zoo the next day to find out if it was okay, to put her mind at ease.”

  Joyce couldn’t conceal a wide and delighted smile. “A chip off the old block it seems.”

  His mouth curved into a smile as he nodded. “Sarah always dreamt about becoming a vet.” He lifted his head to meet his assistant’s gaze and asked, “How many children do you have?”

  “Two.”

  He considered his next question. “Have you ever had the feeling you made the right decision, yet regardless of all logic, you’re still wondering?”

  “Many times,” she replied with a loving maternal smile. “Being a parent isn’t easy, and making decisions isn’t easy, either.” She paused for a moment before she continued. “But if you’re still wondering about your decision, it’s because your heart is talking to you and it wants to be heard.”

  Flynn took a deep breath and nodded. “I have a feeling my mute heart has finally found a voice. I’m just not sure whether we speak the same language.”

  24

  It was late morning the next day when Emma dropped off Nadine at Flynn’s apartment. But it was his mother who opened the door.

  “Nan? You’re home already," Nadine chirped.

  Emma stood back as Jenny stepped forward to pick up her granddaughter. Nadine greeted her with a kiss on the cheek.

  “Hello, princess. Yes, we came home earlier.” Jenny turned to Emma. “You must be Nadine’s friend, Emma.”

  “Yes ma’am.”

  “She’s my BFF,” Nadine said.

  Jenny’s eyes opened wide. “Bee-eff-eff?”

  “Hey, cupcake. How was your night at–” Carl stopped mid-sentence when he saw Emma.

  Jenny moved back and held the door open to allow Emma to enter. “My apologies. Do come in.” Then she turned to Carl. “This is my husband, Carl–”

  “And this is Emma, my BFF,” Nadine chirped.

  He shook Emma’s hand. “BFF, eh?”

  She smiled. “She’s just adorable. You’re very lucky to have her.”

  “Oh, I couldn’t agree more,” Jenny replied lovingly.

  They all walked into the lounge room where Jenny offered Emma a cup of tea. She declined as she gazed around. The last time she had been to Flynn’s apartment she had only seen the kitchen. It looked very upscale with the wooden floor and a white leather couch. Over in the corner was a big television, and envy crept up as she thought of her tiny old TV set. The shelves over in the corner were scarcely filled, with magazines and only a few books. There were a few photos, but from the distance she wasn’t really able to recognise any faces on them.

  “So, cupcake, what’s a BFF?” Carl asked.

  “Best friend forever,” she told her grandfather, and then went on to tell them about meeting Emma’s auntie, and the evening they all had spent together. Emma enjoyed listening and seeing her so happy. And it seemed so did her grandparents.

  “We agreed with Flynn to pick him up from the office and go out for lunch. Would you like to join us, Emma?” Jenny asked.

  Her heart sunk. Goodness gracious. No way. “No, but thanks. I still have a few things to get done back home.”

  Nadine came over and took her hand. “Please?”

  Emma smiled. How could she resist those beautiful green eyes? But she had to. “I’m sorry, honey, but I really have to go. But, as soon as I get a day off you’ll come over again, okay?”

  Nadine nodded, but tried again. “Just for a little while? I’m sure we’re going to have lots of fun.”

  I seriously doubt that!

  Emma’s mouth twitched into a little smile as she touched the girl’s nose with her finger. “Only for a little while, though.” And was rewarded with a hug.

  As they all walked down the hall towards Flynn’s office only half an hour later, Emma’s knees were turning into jelly. Why had she agreed to come along? She could’ve just said no. Easily! Who was she kidding? She had no hope in saying no to Nadine. Her stomach rumbled, but not from hunger. She had butterflies somewhere in the mix, also annoying her. This is not the time to get excited!

  “Hello, I’m Joyce,” she heard a lady introducing herself to Flynn’s parents. “Your son told me you’d be coming.” Then she came around her desk and kneeled down to talk to Nadine. Emma liked her straight away. The lines on her face were a document of many smiling moments. Her hair was casually tossed up into a little bun at the back of her head. Reading glasses dangled on an old chain necklace. And
the outfit was respectable, but the bright, red colours screamed, Hey, don’t you mess with me!

  “You must be Nadine. Would you like to tell your dad over the phone that you’re here?”

  A twinkle lit in Nadine’s eyes, but she turned around first to her grandparents for approval before she answered. “Yes, please.”

  Joyce stood up and turned to Emma. “My apologies.” She held her hand out and said, “You must be Emma. Nice meeting you.”

  Emma smiled as Nadine hopped onto Joyce’s chair and listened carefully to which button to push before she was finally able to say, “Dad, we’re here. And Emma’s come as well.”

  “Hello, Muffin!”

  Everyone looked towards the door where Flynn stood, leaning against the frame with his arms crossed. He stared at them all with an amused smile before he stepped closer and kissed his mother’s cheek and then shook his dad’s hand. Emma felt his stare on her and wished even more now that she had said no to the invitation. He gave her a nod of acknowledgement and then shifted his attention to his daughter.

  “How are you? Did you have a good time at Emma’s?”

  “Yes,” she replied with a lot of enthusiasm. “We made a rainbow cake, which was really yummy.”

  Again, Emma felt his stare, but still couldn’t look at him. Why was he so stubborn? Why couldn’t he understand that he was the girl’s father and Nadine needed him? Why on earth does he have to look so deliciously good, especially in that suit? Emma looked around. She needed a cold drink or at least a seat! When she finally lifted her head to meet his gaze, her hot flushes were met with an icy stare. Was that just because she had declined his dinner invitation?

  * * *

  * * *

  Flynn quickly sorted the paperwork on his desk and thanked his assistant for her help before he followed everyone to the lift. He wasn’t happy at all that Emma had joined them for lunch. His jaw tensed as he stole a glimpse of her. Though he wasn’t really sure why he was angry with her, his blood was near the boiling point. Yes, indeed, she had been helpful, and yes indeed, he would have been lost without her a few times, and yes, his heart skipped a beat every time his eyes caught hers. Was that it? Was he angry that she made him think about her almost nonstop all day, yet she refused to listen to him, yet there she was having dinner with his family? He raked his hand through his hair and followed everyone into the lift. The scent of her skin — sandalwood? — teased his nose as he stood close by.

  “Flynn!”

  He startled and looked over to his mother.

  “Are you okay?”

  His eyebrows shot up as he shrugged. “Of course I am.”

  “I asked you whether you’re happy to go to the pub at the corner of Main Street.”

  “Sorry, I didn’t hear that. I promise to leave work behind. Now body and mind are present.”

  Jenny turned to Emma. “He works too much,” she said and smiled.

  Emma replied with a smile and a nod. If only they knew that she was the cause of his inability to concentrate on his work.

  They took the tram and after only a few stops arrived at the pub. Flynn wasn’t really hungry, but everyone else seemed in good spirits. They entered, took their seats, and ordered.

  Jenny placed Nadine on her lap and casually flipped through the menu before she addressed Emma. “So, Emma. Nadine and Flynn have told us how helpful you have been the last couple of weeks. It’s nice to finally get to know you a bit.”

  Flynn stared at her. Good grief, why couldn’t she understand Nadine needed a proper home?

  “It’s a pleasure looking after her. We’re always having fun.”

  “Emma wants to take me to the beach with the penguins one day,” Nadine added.

  Emma smiled. “It’s beautiful down there. Little penguins emerge from the water and waddle across the beach to their sand dune burrows. I’m sure you’ve heard of it.”

  Jenny nodded. “Actually, I don’t want to impose, but I’ve always wanted to go there as well. It might be something we all can do before we head back north.”

  Flynn could only imagine Emma’s thoughts as her smile disappeared. Something outside the window seemed to momentarily hold her focus. He had to talk to her. He had to make her understand.

  Still in thought, he heard her saying, “That’d be lovely. I’d enjoy that. Whereabouts do you live up north?”

  Yes, she always agreed. It was in her nature to say yes. He slowly shook his head. After all the years of solitude, he’d gotten all hyped up for a woman who couldn’t say no, except to him.

  The conversation went on with Jenny talking about their move from Tasmania to the Queensland coast, the warmer weather, and even though they were missing their friends, they had never regretted the move. Carl added that he not only missed his friends, but the football as well, and he was glad he was able to come south once in a while during the footy season to watch a game with Flynn.

  Flynn’s mouth tugged into a smile. Yes, he enjoyed those visits as well.

  “Do you like football?” Carl asked.

  She shook her head. “I don’t know much about AFL. Although I was born and raised here, Dad’s family is from Ireland, and he was more into soccer than footy.”

  Carl’s brow pulled into an insulted frown. “Flynn has to take you to a game next season, love. It’s a must if you live in this town.”

  Emma’s expression turned into a grin.

  “What did you mean, your dad was more into soccer?” Jenny asked.

  It took her a moment to comprehend the question before she replied. “Mum and Dad died a few years back.”

  Jenny placed her hand onto Emma’s. “I’m so sorry. How are you coping?”

  Emma shrugged. “I’m doing okay.”

  Flynn followed her gaze to Nadine. His girl was bored. Or was she uncomfortable with the conversation? He would really have to make an effort to figure out a way to understand her.

  They changed the subject to a more accommodating one for Nadine as they talked for a little while until Emma had to leave.

  Emma stood, said her goodbyes to Flynn’s parents, and gave Nadine a hug before she took her jacket to leave. Flynn took her to the door and thanked her for coming. When she handed him a few dollar notes from her handbag, he searched her face for some sort of emotion, for anything but her resentment against him.

  “This one is on me. I can finally repay the favour,” he said.

  But she would have none of it, and shoved them into his jacket pocket.

  Scratching the back of his head, he quietly asked. “Please, tell me why you’re so angry with me.”

  “Asks the one with the icy stare.”

  He looked down at his feet. “I’m just all over the place at the moment. I’m sorry. You’ve been such a great help, I wish you–”

  Avoiding his gaze she replied, “I’m not angry. I just don’t agree with your decisions. I’m concerned about Naddie, but I suppose bottom line is, it’s none of my business.”

  He found himself tenderly tracing a line to her chin. “Emma?”

  She didn’t move away and with only the tip of his finger, he lifted her chin slightly. But she didn’t give him a chance to say what he would have liked to say.

  “Please, don’t call me again. It’s not good for her to have a friend here in Melbourne who she wants to stay close with.” Then she turned and walked off. His gaze followed her for a while and then he stared up at the sky. “A bit of help would be appreciated. Or at least a little guidance?” he said.

  25

  The next Monday morning, Emma sat in the hotel café considering what to have for breakfast. She smiled as Frank approached her table.

  “You look awful, Em.”

  She turned her smile into a fake grin. “Thanks. No wonder your girls can’t wait to move out.”

  He laughed. “Breakfast as usual?”

  “With a kick, please.”

  When he came back with the tray of breakfast, he sat down opposite her and poured the tea.


  “Thanks,” Emma said quietly, as Frank picked up a cup and had a sip.

  “Tell me, Em. What’s bothering you? It’s written all over your face.” He lifted his arm and checked his watch. “And make it snappy. Shift is over soon.”

  Arching an eyebrow, she replied, “Wow, Frank. Thanks.”

  His mouth cocked into a smile, and he winked at her.

  She sighed. “I’m completely lost. I have no idea what to think or what to believe, let alone who to believe.”

  He took another sip. “And I have a feeling you don’t really want to be found.”

  Emma looked at him. “Beg yours?”

  Frank shrugged. “I don’t know, Em. You’ve been friends with Jacqui from more or less the first day you shared a shift. Very good friends.” He lifted his head to meet her stare. “Why would she lie to you?”

  “She told you?”

  “The subject came up, as there are a few here who are concerned about you.”

  Her eyes widened. “Concerned?”

  Frank rubbed his nose with his finger. “We know Jack. We know about at least two past girlfriends who left him because of his… let’s call it temper.”

  “He hasn’t got a temper,” she replied too quickly, and made a move to stand up.

  Frank leaned over and gently held her wrist. “Em, darling. Trust me, please. I haven’t got one reason to lie to you, but two reasons to worry about you.”

  She frowned. “Two?”

  “My two daughters.”

  With sagging shoulders, she sat down again.

  “If my daughters should ever end up with someone like Jack, I hope from the bottom of my heart that there’s someone out there to warn them.”