The Wonderful LitRPG Wizard of Oz (LitRPG Classics Book 1)

by Oisin Muldowney

  No one did so much as look at the travelers at first, except one little purple china dog with an extra-large head, which came to the wall and barked at them in a tiny voice, afterwards running away again.

  “How shall we get down?” asked Dorothy.

  They found the ladder so heavy they could not pull it up, so the Scarecrow fell off the wall and the others jumped down upon him so that the hard floor would not hurt their feet. Of course they took pains not to land on his head and the hard circlet. When all were safely down they picked up the Scarecrow, whose body was quite flattened out, and patted his straw into shape again.

  “We must cross this strange place in order to get to the other side,” said Dorothy, “for it would be unwise for us to go any other way except due South.”

  They began walking through the country of the china people, and the first thing they came to was a china milkmaid milking a china cow. As they drew near, the cow suddenly gave a kick and kicked over the stool, the pail, and even the milkmaid herself, and all fell on the china ground with a great clatter.

  Dorothy was shocked to see that the cow had broken her leg off, and that the pail was lying in several small pieces, while the poor milkmaid had a nick in her left elbow.

  “There!” cried the milkmaid angrily. “See what you have done! My cow has broken her leg, and I must take her to the mender’s shop and have it glued on again. What do you mean by coming here and frightening my cow?”

  “I’m very sorry,” returned Dorothy. “Please forgive us.”

  But the pretty milkmaid was much too vexed to make any answer. She picked up the leg sulkily and led her cow away, the poor animal limping on three legs. As she left them the milkmaid cast many reproachful glances over her shoulder at the clumsy strangers, holding her nicked elbow close to her side.

  Dorothy was quite grieved at this mishap.

  “We must be very careful here,” said the kind-hearted Tin Woman, “or we may hurt these pretty little people so they will never get over it.”

  “I wonder if their jewelry is lootable or just painted on the china?” mused Scarecrow.

  A little farther on Dorothy met a most beautifully dressed young Princess, who stopped short as she saw the strangers and started to run away.

  Dorothy wanted to test Scarecrow’s theory, so she ran after her. But the china girl cried out:

  “Don’t chase me! Don’t chase me!”

  She had such a frightened little voice that Dorothy stopped and said, “Why not?”

  “Because,” answered the Princess, also stopping, a safe distance away, “if I run I may fall down and break myself.”

  “But could you not be mended?” asked the girl.

  “Oh, yes; but one is never so pretty after being mended, you know,” replied the Princess.

  “I suppose not,” said Dorothy.

  “Now there is Mr. Joker, one of our clowns,” continued the china lady, “who is always trying to stand upon his head. He has broken himself so often that he is mended in a hundred places, and doesn’t look at all pretty. Here he comes now, so you can see for yourself.”

  Indeed, a jolly little clown came walking toward them, and Dorothy could see that in spite of his pretty clothes of red and yellow and green he was completely covered with cracks, running every which way and showing plainly that he had been mended in many places.

  The Clown put his hands in his pockets, and after puffing out his cheeks and nodding his head at them saucily, he said:

  “My lady fair,

  Why do you stare

  At poor old Mr. Joker?

  You’re quite as stiff

  And prim as if

  You’d eaten up a poker!”

  “Be quiet, sir!” said the Princess. “Can’t you see these are strangers, and should be treated with respect?”

  “Well, here’s respect; though not what you might expect,” declared the Clown, and immediately began waving his arms and muttering.

  “Are you casting a spell?”

  “What you say is true; I’ve just cast Glue!”

  “Don’t mind Mr. Joker,” said the Princess to Dorothy. “He is considerably cracked in his head, and that makes him Chaotic Neutral.”

  “Oh,” said Dorothy. “But it does seem as though he has stuck my feet to the ground.”

  “Mine too,” said the Tin Woman.

  “My paws are all stuck hard,” added the Lioness.

  “As are my shoes.” Scarecrow lifted a straw leg out of his shoe.

  Even Toto could not move and he began to bark.

  “Oh dear,” answered the china Princess. “You might have frightened him.”

  “Dear Mr. Joker,” said Dorothy carefully, “please undo your spell. We don’t mean any harm.”

  The Clown leaned forward and gave a knowing wink. “Player characters just want gold; NPCs rarely get to grow old. You can stay there all day, until Mr. Joker is safely away.” With that he gave a skip and turned to leave.

  A strum of a chord on a lute caused the Clown to stop.

  “A Clown of china is a wonderful being…” sang Scarecrow, utilizing his Bardic performance for the first time since being Cursed.

  Mr. Joker looked back over his shoulder.

  “Whose clever tricks are well worth seeing…”

  Mr. Joker turned back to face the party.

  “His rhymes are fun; his rhymes are witty…”

  Mr. Joker took a step towards them.

  “And his friends of china are terribly pretty.”

  Mr. Joker looked at Scarecrow and his smile was genuine and warm. With a gesture, the Clown ended the Glue spell and the relieved party moved southwards.

  “Good-bye Mr. Joker; goodbye Princess,” said Dorothy.

  “Good-bye,” replied the Princess.

  Mr. Joker doffed his hat.

  They walked carefully away through the china country.

  “What Bardic performance was that?” asked the Tin Woman.

  “Remove Fear.” Scarecrow replied, placing his lute over his back once more. “It seemed that he wasn’t really a hostile mob. And I don’t think he had any loot. So I thought I’d act on the information the Princess gave us.”

  “Well done,” said Dorothy and if Scarecrows could blush, this one did.

  As they travelled, the little animals and all the people scampered out of their way, fearing the strangers would break them, and after an hour or so the travelers reached the other side of the country and came to another china wall.

  It was not so high as the first, however, and by standing upon the Lioness’s back they all managed to scramble to the top. Then the Lioness gathered her legs under her and jumped on the wall; but just as she jumped, she upset a china church with her tail and smashed it all to pieces.

  “That was too bad,” said Dorothy, “but really I think we were lucky in not doing these little people more harm than breaking a cow’s leg and a church. They are all so brittle!”

  “They are, indeed,” said the Scarecrow, “and I am thankful I am made of straw and cannot be easily damaged. There are worse things in the world than being a Scarecrow.”

  Chapter XXI

  The Lioness Becomes the Queen of Beasts

  After climbing down from the china wall the travelers found themselves in a disagreeable country, full of bogs and marshes and covered with tall, rank grass. It was difficult to walk without falling into muddy holes, for the grass was so thick that it hid them from sight. By carefully picking their way, however, they got safely along until they reached solid ground. But here the country seemed wilder than ever, and after a long and tiresome walk through the underbrush they entered another forest, where the trees were bigger and older than any they had ever seen.

  “This forest is perfectly delightful,” declared the Lioness, looking around her with joy. “Never have I seen a more beautiful place.”

  “It seems gloomy,” said the Scarecrow.

  “Not a bit of it,” answered the Lioness. “I should like to
live here all my life. See how soft the dried leaves are under your feet and how rich and green the moss is that clings to these old trees. Surely no Barbarian could wish a pleasanter home.”

  “Perhaps there are wild beasts in the forest now,” said Dorothy.

  “I suppose there are,” returned the Lioness, “but I do not see any of them about.”

  They walked through the forest until it became too dark to go any farther. Dorothy and Toto and the Lioness lay down to sleep, while the Tin Woman and the Scarecrow kept watch over them as usual.

  When morning came, they started again. Before they had gone far they heard a low rumble, as of the growling of many wild animals. Toto whimpered a little, but none of the others were frightened, and they kept along the well-trodden path until they came to an opening in the wood, in which were gathered hundreds of beasts of every variety. There were tigers and elephants and bears and wolves and foxes and all the others in the natural history, and for a moment Dorothy was afraid. But the Lioness explained that the animals were holding a meeting, and she judged by their snarling and growling that they were in great trouble.

  As she spoke several of the beasts caught sight of her, and at once the great assemblage hushed as if by magic. The biggest of the tigers came up to the Lioness and bowed, saying:

  “Welcome, O Queen of Beasts! You have come in good time to fight our enemy and bring peace to all the animals of the forest once more.”

  “What is your trouble?” asked the Lioness quietly.

  “We are all threatened,” answered the tiger, “by a fierce enemy which has lately come into this forest. It is a most tremendous monster, like a great spider, with a body as big as an elephant and legs as long as a tree trunk. It has eight of these long legs, and as the monster crawls through the forest he seizes an animal with a leg and drags it to his mouth, where he eats it as a spider does a fly. Not one of us is safe while this fierce creature is alive, and we had called a meeting to decide how to take care of ourselves when you came among us.”

  The Lioness thought for a moment.

  “Are there any other Lionesses in this forest?” she asked.

  “No; there were some, but the monster has eaten them all. And, besides, they were none of them nearly so large and brave as you.”

  “If I put an end to your enemy, will you bow down to me and obey me as Queen of the Forest?” inquired the Lioness.

  “We will do that gladly,” returned the tiger; and all the other beasts roared with a mighty roar: “We will!”

  “Where is this great spider of yours now?” asked the Lioness.

  “Yonder, among the oak trees,” said the tiger, pointing with his forefoot.

  “Take good care of these friends of mine,” said the Lioness, “and I will go at once to fight the monster.”

  “Oh no,” said Dorothy, “we are coming with you.”

  “That’s right,” said the Tin Woman, hefting her axe. “Here’s a truly evil monster that I can fight without violating my Code.”

  “Never split the party,” added the Scarecrow. And even Toto ran ahead courageously.

  The great spider was lying asleep when the party found him, and it looked so horrific that Dorothy took a step back in disgust. Its legs were quite as long as the tiger had said, and its body covered with coarse black hair. It had a great mouth, with a row of sharp teeth a foot long; but its head was joined to the pudgy body by a neck as slender as a wasp’s waist. This gave the Lioness a hint of the best way to attack the creature.

  “We should try to get a critical hit on the weak point.”

  “I’ll focus my Magic Missiles there too,” said Dorothy, edging just close enough that she could target the monster. Next, she cast Haste on them all, followed by Summon Monster VI, which brought a Giant Ape to her side. “Ready,” she said.

  The Lioness moved with a high Stealth skill toward the sleeping monster, but the Tin Woman and the Scarecrow both failed their checks, the cracking of twigs underfoot giving them away.

  At once the spider leaped up, its many eyes shiny with anger, its mandibles clicking and its mouth dripping with venom. Rearing up and waving its front two legs, the effect was to create a Fear spell upon them all.

  The Lioness triggered Rage and was immune to Fear, leaping forward with two claws and a bite. Brave Toto made his resist too. But Dorothy and Scarecrow both felt the need to sprint away as top speed, until the Tin Woman cried “Rally” and immediately they felt calmer.

  The hit point bar of the giant spider began to drop, but not as alarmingly as that of the Lioness.

  “We need the Tin Woman to be tank,” shouted Scarecrow, “we don’t have a healer.”

  While Dorothy’s pet Ape was hurling rocks at the monster and Toto was courageously running around trying to bite its legs, she repeatedly cast Magic Missile, draining her mana bar.

  “Back away, Lioness,” urged the Tin Woman.

  But Lioness was Raging for the first time in weeks and would never cease her attacks so long as she could draw breath or the Spider was dead.

  As it was impossible to shift the aggro to anyone else, the battle became a race to lower the monster’s hit points before it killed Lioness. Everyone gave their utmost but what tipped the balance was Scarecrow’s rediscovered Bardic abilities. Experienced Bards could ‘twist’ two performances around each other to create two simultaneous magical effects. Scarecrow managed to sing a healing song while drumming an inspiration that increased the rate of critical hits.

  At last, with one savage blow of Lioness’s heavy paw, all armed with sharp claws, she knocked the spider’s upper torso from the lower. Jumping to pin down the head, she watched the monster until the long legs stopped wiggling, when she knew it was quite dead.

  “Ding!” cried Dorothy delightedly. “I’m level ten.”

  “I’ve levelled up too,” said Lioness, “I’m a level eight Barbarian.”

  “Level eight Paladin,” said the Tin Woman.

  “Level eight Bard,” announced Scarecrow proudly.

  With the exception of the summoned Giant Ape, who returned to the forest, they went back to the opening where the beasts of the forest were waiting for her and Lioness said proudly:

  “You need fear your enemy no longer.”

  Then the beasts bowed down to the Lioness as their Queen, and she promised to come back and rule over them as soon as Dorothy was safely on her way to Kansas.

  Chapter XXII

  The Country of the Quadlings

  The four travelers passed through the rest of the forest in safety, and when they came out from its gloom saw before them a steep hill, covered from top to bottom with great pieces of rock.

  “That will be a hard climb,” said the Scarecrow, “but we must get over the hill, nevertheless.”

  So he led the way and the others followed. They had nearly reached the first rock when they heard a rough voice cry out, “Keep back!”

  “Who are you?” asked the Scarecrow.

  Then a head showed itself over the rock and the same voice said, “This hill belongs to us, and we don’t allow anyone to cross it.”

  “But we must cross it,” said the Scarecrow. “We’re going to the country of the Quadlings.”

  “But you shall not!” replied the voice, and there stepped from behind the rock the strangest man the travelers had ever seen.

  He was quite short and stout and had a big head, which was flat at the top and supported by a thick neck full of wrinkles. But he had no arms at all, and, seeing this, the Scarecrow did not fear that so helpless a creature could prevent them from climbing the hill. So he said, “I’m sorry not to do as you wish, but we must pass over your hill whether you like it or not,” and he walked boldly forward.

  As quick as lightning the man’s head shot forward and his neck stretched out until the top of the head, where it was flat, struck the Scarecrow in the middle and sent him tumbling, over and over, down the hill. Almost as quickly as it came the head went back to the body, and the man
laughed harshly as he said, “It isn’t as easy as you think!”

  A chorus of boisterous laughter came from the other rocks, and Dorothy saw hundreds of the armless Hammer-Heads upon the hillside, one behind every rock.

  The Lioness became quite angry at the laughter caused by the Scarecrow’s mishap, and giving a loud roar that echoed like thunder, she dashed up the hill.

  Again a head shot swiftly out, and the great Lioness went rolling down the hill as if she had been struck by a cannon ball, suffering a noticeable drop to her hit point bar.

  Dorothy ran down and helped the Scarecrow to his feet, and the Lioness came up to her, feeling rather bruised and sore, and said, “It is useless to fight people with shooting heads; no one can withstand them.”

  “What can we do, then?” she asked.

  “Call the Winged Monkeys,” suggested the Tin Woman. “You have still the right to command them once more.”

  “Very well,” she answered, and putting on the Golden Cap she uttered the magic words. The Monkeys were as prompt as ever, and in a few moments the entire band stood before her.

  “What are your commands?” inquired the King of the Monkeys, bowing low.

  “Carry us over the hill to the country of the Quadlings,” answered the girl.

  “It shall be done,” said the King, and at once the Winged Monkeys caught the four travelers and Toto up in their arms and flew away with them. As they passed over the hill the Hammer-Heads yelled with vexation, and shot their heads high in the air, but they could not reach the Winged Monkeys, who carried Dorothy and her comrades safely over the hill and set them down in the beautiful country of the Quadlings.

  “This is the last time you can summon us,” said the leader to Dorothy; “so good-bye and good luck to you.”

  “Good-bye, and thank you very much,” returned the girl; and the Monkeys rose into the air and were out of sight in a twinkling.