by Sarah Swan
“It’ll be me, of course,” Liz said smoothly. “I’m the natural choice. I discovered the crystals, after all, and I know the most about their use.”
“And the others are fine with that?”
“Of course!” Liz said quickly. Maybe a little too quickly. “They know I’m the best choice. And I’ve led them all this far already.”
“So what you want me to do, then,” I said deliberately, “is give up all my control, all my abilities, just so that you can use your own to a greater degree?”
“When you say it like that,” Liz began, but I cut her off.
“So what am I to you, then?” I asked angrily. “A vessel through which power flows? With no more say or intellect than some inanimate object? Just a shell of a body? Or – even worse – just another type of crystal, which you can draw more power from?”
“It’s not like that,” Liz began.
“Oh? Then what is it? Please, do tell. Because from my perspective, ever since you met me, you’ve done nothing but try to use me for your own gain!”
“That’s not true!” Liz defended. I could hear the emotion rising in her voice. “I looked after you once you used the crystal. I made sure you were okay after Ashley attacked you!”
“But I would have never been in that situation in the first place were it not for you!”
“Come on, Tracy. Think! I freed you from your boring little life, and shared with you a wonderful gift. Do you know how many other girls would kill to be in your shoes?”
“You showed me only so you could use me,” I seethed.
“Can you get it through your thick skull that it’s not like that?” Liz yelled at me. “I showed you this to include you! Not to spurn you!”
“But you did it only so you could get more power. I was the key to unlocking everything for you, wasn’t I? You knew it from the moment you met me!”
“That’s not true—”
“Ashley said she knew how strong my potential was the first day. I’m sure you would have known that, too!” I remembered the first time Liz placed the crystal in my hand and asked me what I felt. She had been so excited when I told her. Now I was realizing it was probably all an act. “You knew how strong I was, and you pretended to be surprised when I told you I could use the crystal! You deceived me, Elizabeth!”
Liz threw her hands up in the air. “What are you talking about? I had no idea that you would be so strong!”
“Liar!” I spat. “Ashley told me she knew. How could you not?”
Liz took a deep breath. “Ashley has – had – a unique gift. She can sense the potential within others. Almost everybody has it, hidden deep inside, but not all are able to access it. You were one of the few who could. I didn’t know any more about it than you did when I met you.”
I paused for a moment. It wasn’t like me to get so heated, and yet, I couldn’t shake the feeling I was being used. Nor could I shake my anger. “But as soon as you found out, you set out to use me, didn’t you? That’s just as bad, Liz. Worse, even!”
“How is that any worse? I showed you who you really are. Without me, you’d have no idea of what you can do, what you’re capable of!”
“Yeah? Well maybe I was better off that way!” I screamed, and turned away.
“Tracy, wait,” Liz called after me. But I didn’t listen. I was seething inside. All of this was just a ruse for her to use me, a trick for her to gain more power through me. And to think, I had thought of her as a friend not long ago. I hated myself for being so foolish. Even Ashley, the one person who was once downright hostile toward me, was now showing herself to be a better person than Liz.
I stalked toward the distant exit, my fists clenched at my side, my mind running through all the events since I’d met Liz. After a moment, I came to a horrifying conclusion: all the girls were collaborating to use me. That had been their plan all along. I remembered the smiles and nods that came when I first told them I felt something hot burst forth from the crystal. Thinking back, I realized just how fake that the whole relationship was. The smiles never reached their eyes. It was all so… plastic. Even Madison, the one girl I thought I had connected with the most, was in on it. They were all just hungry for the power I could give them. None of them would think twice about using me.
I broke out into a run. I had to get out of the tunnel, and away from here. The light bulbs provided precious little light. The walls seemed to squeeze in on me as I ran. All I could hear was the sound of my labored breathing and my own footsteps against the stone. Shadows danced wickedly at the sides, making the enclosure even more claustrophobic. I needed to get out, to be out in the open. Far ahead, as a pale light in the distance, I could make out the exit to the forest. I doubled my speed.
I burst out of the tunnel, and flew by a surprised Eve and Madison. They called after me, but I didn’t hear them. I wanted nothing to do with any of them. I ran into the clearing and looked around wildly. Which way to go? Without somebody to guide me, I would just get lost. Was my escape going to be hampered this early?
Then I spotted Ashley, sitting dejectedly on a lone rock on the other side. I ran to her. She could guide me out of here.
“Come on,” I said, taking her by the arm. “We’re getting out of here.”
Startled, she jumped when I touched her. But then she pulled away. “What about Liz and the others?” she asked suspiciously.
“What about them?” I said harshly.
“Where are they?”
“Not coming.”
“Liz said I need to wait for all of them.”
“They don’t care about you,” I spat. “Why would you care about them?”
“What are you talking about?”
I didn’t have time to play. I needed to get away from here, now. “You know what Liz told me?”
“What?”
“She said that you lost the power to read the crystals. Forever. And that it would never come back, no matter what you did or how long you waited.”
Ashley looked at me in shock. Her mouth worked, but no words came out. And then I saw something shatter deep beyond her eyes. A hope that she had been holding on to was now gone. She knew the truth. My words only confirmed it. Her eyes darkened.
“This way,” she said.
Chapter Twenty-Three – Rob
Ashley rushed me through the woods, taking a path I didn’t recognize. She said none of the others knew of it so we couldn’t be followed. When I saw the trees thin out up ahead, I knew we were getting close.
“Here we are,” she said as we got to the edge of the woods. “Just go straight over the hills until you see the road from the dorms to the main yard. You can’t get lost.”
“What about you?”
“I’m going back.”
“But—”
“If what you said is true,” she told me, “and I have no reason to believe you lied, there’s somebody else I need to talk to.”
“Liz?”
She nodded. “She let me hang onto a false hope for so long. I want to know why.”
“Alright,” I said, squeezing her in a small hug. “Thanks for bringing me here.” It was ironic that the person who had been so unfriendly toward me at the start had now become the only one I could trust.
“Tracy, wait,” Ashley called.
I turned back. “Yes?”
“Here. You should take this.” Ashley reached into one pocket, and pulled something out in a fist. She opened her hand, and in her palm lay a small, almost-opaque crystal. Inside, I could see a gentle blue throbbing.
I shook my head. “I… I don’t want it.” I had to force myself to say the words, because at the moment I saw the crystal, that instinctive desire awoke within me. It took all the control I had to stop myself from snatching it out of her hand. That type of influence of the crystal over my mind was exactly what I feared.
“You might need it sometime in the future,” Ashley said. “Besides, it’s not like… it’s not like…” she was struggling to find the
words, “it’s not like I can ever use it.”
“No,” I said again. “It’s yours, whether you can use it or not.”
“Will you just take it?” Ashley screamed. I could see tears forming in her eyes. “Please. It reminds me of everything I cannot do.”
I stepped toward her, somewhat tentatively, but a little eagerly too. There was something inside me that lusted dearly for the crystal, for any crystal, and then there was my actual conscious mind that told me to stay away. The two parts waged war within my head. Would it be so bad to have just one crystal? But then I remembered the after-sickness, and the dangers it held. And yet, with more experience, perhaps I could avoid that altogether?
“Here!” Ashley interrupted my thoughts by slamming the crystal into my hand. As soon as she pulled her hand away, I could feel that familiar warmth rise within the crystal. I was nearly shaking with anticipation. To have been deprived of it for so many days, and then to finally have it right within my hands… My fingers brushed the smooth surface of the crystal, and I gripped it tighter. I was ready to let the power flow through me. It is what I desired, what I had so long awaited. Now, all I had to do was open myself up and let the crystal take hold of me. The glow within the crystal ebbed stronger, and I fed it more power. The blue light erupted to coat everything around me. I could feel my mind work faster.
Danger.
My mind was wrapped in the ecstasy of using the crystal, and I was oblivious to everything else. I drew more power, willing my mind to work faster, for the crystal to unlock every last capacity of my brain.
Danger.
It was the merest flash of a feeling, rippling across the surface of my thoughts. It was gone before I could locate it. But, its meaning was undeniable.
Danger.
There it was again! That it could penetrate the deepest recesses of my mind told me just how important it was.
With a yelp, I threw the crystal to the ground. As it left my hand, I was jerked back to reality. The blue light retracted into the crystal as if sucked into a vacuum. The sounds and movement of the world around me resumed. A sharp pain burst forth behind my eyes, and I fell to my knees, clutching my head.
“Tracy? Tracy! What’s wrong?” It was Ashley. She was kneeling down beside me, and had one hand on my shoulders. “Are you alright?”
I took a series of deep breaths, which helped mitigate the pain. Somewhat. Shakily, I pushed myself up. Then, realizing I couldn’t do it alone, resorted to leaning on Ashley’s shoulder to allow her to help.
“The crystal,” I breathed raggedly, “it… did something to me.”
“You tried to draw too much power, didn’t you?”
“No. I mean, I don’t think so. I don’t know!”
“What happened?”
“I had to use it. When you put it in my hand, I couldn’t control myself. But when I did… I felt a threat. A danger, coming from it.” My eyes scanned the ground. Not five feet away, was the crystal. I staggered back, pulling Ashley along. I had to get away. It was just an inanimate piece of rock, a lifeless stone, but it stabbed fear right into the hollows of my heart. “I need to get away.”
Ashley nodded. “I understand. I can help you back—”
“No. You go do what you need to. I need to be alone.”
Ashley looked at me, considering my words. After a long moment, she bit her lip and nodded again. “Okay. I hope you find what you need.”
“Thank you.” I pushed myself off her, and found I could now stand on my own. The pain behind my eyes had relegated itself to a mild throbbing – nothing like it had been at first. The colors at the edge of my vision blurred a little, but I ignored that. “Be safe back there.”
“I will,” Ashley confirmed, and disappeared into the forest.
I watched after her for a few moments, to make sure she was gone, and then directed my attention to the crystal. In Ashley’s absence, the crystal’s call became more powerful. It lay there on the ground, beckoning me to come forth and pick it up. I longed for it again.
No! The danger was still there, unidentified. I tore my eyes away from the crystal, and turned stiffly around. I took a step away. The crystal sang out to me, begging to be picked up, enticing me with the promise of power, the feeling of ecstasy. It took all my willpower to drown it out. I took another step away, then one more. Every step was a battle between my will to get away and my desire for the crystal. I plodded onward, forcing myself to take step after step, focusing on just putting one foot in front of the other. I had given in to the weakness before, and I wouldn’t allow it to happen again. As I got farther away, the crystal’s reach started to fade, and it became easier to keep going.
As I topped a hill, I was relieved to see the familiar path stretching from the dorms to the main yard the distance. It was busy. Kids were walking to and from other parts of the island. As I got closer, I found solace in the sounds of the crowd: the noise of moving feet, of laughing voices, and the regular din of conversation. It brought me back to everything that was normal about this place.
I slipped into the stream of students and started toward my dorm. I felt tired again. And very much alone. The people I thought I could trust on this island proved to be nothing but manipulative witches. Every friend I had made – or thought I had made – proved to fall into that very category. Everyone was using me – or trying too – for their own sadistic purposes. I was being stretched thin, and I had nobody to turn to. There was nobody to talk to. Nobody would understand what I was going through. I was sinking into oblivion. I was in a strange place, far away from home, with no friends, no allies, and nobody at all who cared about me. I felt like crying. I just wanted to curl up in a corner and block out the world.
I felt a hand on my shoulder. “Tracy. There you are.” I jerked around, and my breath caught. It was Rob – also one of those people I didn’t know whether to trust or not. I was now convinced that he had his own motives for ever talking to me. “I must have said your name like five times. You all right?”
No, I wanted to say. No. I feel lost and alone. I don’t know what I’m doing, or what’s going on. Everybody I thought I could trust turned against me. Even you. I wish I had never come here, never heard of Oliver Academy. I just want to go home. Instead, I just shrugged and said, “Sure.”
He must have caught my lie, for his face instantly changed. He looked, of all things, concerned. “Something’s going on, isn’t it?” he asked.
“No,” I said. “Why? And even if something is, why should you care?”
He whistled, and raked a hand through his hair. “If it’s like that, it means something is definitely going on.” He looked around, and I did too. We were in the courtyard in front of the dorms, under shade of a tall evergreen. I must have stalked all the way over here without realizing it. There were other students in the field around us, but none were really paying us any attention. “You want to talk about it?”
“No,” I said stubbornly.
“Come on Tracy, this isn’t like you. You can tell me.”
“You barely even know me! How can you say what is and what isn’t like me?”
He winced as if I had hit him. “That may be true, though not for a lack of effort. You’ve been avoiding me.”
“What? That’s not true,” I lied.
“Yes it is. Ever since I came by your room, you’ve been withdrawn and distant. Every time I tried to catch you after class, you were already gone.”
“So maybe I was,” I said, kicking at the dirt. “What’s it to you?”
“You weren’t like that when I first met you. There’s something different now. It’s not because of me, is it?”
“What?” His self-conscious remark caught me off guard. “No! Of course not.”
He nodded. “Mhm. But something is wrong, isn’t it?”
“Look, Rob,” I started, determined to get him to leave me alone, “I’m sure your intentions are good. But everything’s fine. Really. I just had a rough day – a rough week, actu
ally. And I haven’t been avoiding you, per se, it’s just that I’ve had a lot on my mind. All I really want to do right now is go to my room and take a hot bath.”
He eyed some of the others around us. “Not here, huh?” he asked as if he didn’t even hear what I just said. “Alright. Fine. Let’s go inside.” He swept my hand up in his, and started for the dorm. For a second, I contemplated pulling away. My level of trust in anybody right now was seriously low. I wouldn’t put it past Rob to take advantage of me in my fragile emotional state. But on the other hand, he was the one person who actually seemed real. And he appeared to be genuinely concerned about me. Against my better instinct, I left my hand in his.
He led me toward the row of buildings. But when he turned away toward the senior dorm, a suspicion I had was confirmed. He was older than me. But then, why was he in my science class? He led me into the building, and I followed without saying a word. Just the feel of his hand enveloping mine made me trust him more. The warmth of human contact was something I desperately needed right now.
“Where are we going?” I asked halfway up the stairs. “Your room?”
“I wouldn’t be that cavalier,” he said wryly. “Up, to the very top. There’s a small observatory up there that overlooks the entire island.”
“I didn’t know that,” I said.
“You need a key to get in there. It’s where I go sometimes to think.”
I raised my eyebrows in surprise. I wouldn’t have pegged Rob as the thinking type. Then again, I had to admit, I was basing nearly everything I knew about him on his appearance.
We went farther up the stairs, passing a lip-locked couple in a hidden corner. My cheeks grew hot when I saw them, but luckily Rob didn’t notice. Or if he did, he pretended to pay no attention. Finally, we reached a door at the top of the stairs. It led to a cramped, musty hallway. The carpet was an ancient, ragged red, and the dust was so thick that I sneezed a few times.
“Don’t worry, the observatory’s much cleaner,” Rob laughed. I jabbed him in the ribs meanly for making fun of me. He avoided my blow deftly. For some reason, I started to laugh – and then sneezed again.
