I LIKE THE WAY YOU HURT: A Dark Interracial High School Bully Romance

by Lorrain Allen

  “Hunty chile, look at her big perky breasts,” exclaims my grandmother. My cheeks heat from her comment.

  Next, she grasps my shoulder, turning me around. “And look at that behind, so big and round.”

  “Grandma!”

  “Charlene, leave the child alone,” my grandfather defends me, giving me a hug too.

  I didn’t realize that he finished his descent from the upstairs. My face heats even more.

  “Okay, I’m just saying she’s well-developed.”

  Oh God, please make it stop.

  “I’m going to take my luggage up to the guest room.” And find a hole to crawl into.

  “Okay, you hurry back down, now. I cooked you a little something for lunch,” says my grandmother.

  When I return, I see the little something my grandmother cooked for me is a six-course meal. It’s the gym for me when I return to Montgomery.

  By Tuesday morning, I’m in a bad mood. It’s hard for me to try to hide my feelings. The cause of my attitude is Maverick. I haven’t heard from him since Saturday morning when we exchanged a few text messages. Maybe he found another girl to fuck while I’m gone. That thought leaves a bad taste in my mouth. I’m lying in bed, contemplating if I should text him or not, when my phone dings, indicating I just received a notification. I lift my cell phone from my bed. The text message is from Maverick.

  Maverick: Come outside.

  I immediately sit up. I jump from the bed, running to the window to look between the blinds. Maverick is leaning against his jeep with his arms crossed over his chest, looking sexy as hell. I squeal in excitement as I race to the bathroom to brush my teeth and wash my face. I enter the guest bedroom again to grab my jacket and put my shoes on then head downstairs out the door.

  I don’t care if he notices how excited I am to see him. It’s getting harder for me to hide how I feel about him. I throw my arms around him, threading my fingers through his hair to bring his lips to me for a kiss. He flips us around so that I’m leaning against the car now. When he picks me up, I wrap my legs around his hips. We remain like that for the next few minutes.

  I unwrap my legs to slide down his body, breaking the kiss.

  “My grandparents could see us, Maverick.”

  “Okay,” he says, resting his forehead against mine.

  “How did you know where I was?”

  “I downloaded a tracking app on your phone.”

  My eyes widen in shock. “I didn’t notice a new app downloaded on my phone.”

  “You wouldn’t, you have a lot of apps.”

  “You’re such a creep, Maverick.”

  He laughs at my statement.

  “Why are you here?”

  “I want to spend the day with you.”

  “What are we doing, Maverick?”

  “I don’t know, but I couldn’t go another day without seeing you. Come with me.”

  “Okay, I have to shower first. Do you want to come in to wait for me?”

  “No, I’ll wait out here.”

  An hour and a half later, I’m heading back outside to Maverick’s car. My grandmother was not pleased about not being able to cook me another one of her grand breakfasts. I’m wearing a gray sweater, tight blue jeans, black boots, and a jean jacket. Maverick opens the passenger side door for me.

  “Where are we going?” I ask when he slides into the driver’s seat.

  “Let’s go to the mall to see a movie, and then we’ll figure after what else to do after. The first showing of the action flick that just came out is at 11:00 a.m., we have an hour.”

  “Okay.”

  After the movie, we find a seafood restaurant to have lunch. We talk as we eat our food, finally learning more about one another.

  “What colleges have you applied to?” I ask.

  “I applied to all the best journalism colleges— Emerson, The University of Texas at Austin, University of Missouri-Columbia, Northwestern, New York University, and a few others. What about you?”

  “I received a few full scholarship offers for football, but I decided to go with Texas A & M.”

  “Congratulations, Maverick.”

  “Thanks. Why do you call me Maverick and not Mav like everyone else?”

  “I don’t know. Would you prefer that I call you Mav?”

  “No, I like the sound of my full name on your lips, I was just curious. Is journalism your passion?”

  “Absolutely, writing has been my passion since I was a child. After my father died, writing my thoughts down gave me comfort.”

  “How did your father die?”

  “He was a LAPD officer. He was shot during a robbery. It’s amazing how one moment can change the entire course of a person’s life.”

  Cocoa looks as if she wants to ask me a question but thinks better of it.

  “What were you going to ask?”

  “I was going to ask about your mother.”

  “Ask.”

  “Are you sure?”

  “Yeah, go ahead, ask.”

  “How did she die?”

  “She hung herself.”

  “That must have been really hard for you.”

  “What a lot of people don’t know is I’m the one who found her body.”

  “Oh my God, Maverick.”

  “Seeing something like that really fucks with a kid’s mental state. I’ll never forget the way her tongue was hanging out of her mouth or the haunted look in her bulging eyes. Almost like in death she still wasn’t at peace.”

  “Did she ever try to leave your father?”

  “Once that I can remember, we barely made it to the next town before he brought us back. After that, I didn’t see her for a long time. She was in a room that I wasn’t allowed to go in.”

  “What about her family? They couldn’t help?”

  “They didn’t give a fuck about her or me. I barely saw them. I barely see John’s side of the family, either. They’re spread across the United States.”

  “Have you ever told an adult what your father was doing to you?”

  “Don’t ever refer to him as my father,” I say sharply.

  “I’m sorry.”

  “I’m sorry. I don’t consider him my father. I tried to once, but he made everyone believe that I was a problem child who acted up because his mother committed suicide. After the beating he gave me, I never told another adult. Dee and Nix know, but I haven’t told them everything I endured.”

  “Have you ever thought about seeking help?”

  “I don’t want a fucking shrink in my head, Cocoa. I’m coping fine on my own. John doesn’t beat me anymore. The last time he tried, I broke his fucking jaw. He knows better now. When I leave this town, I’m never coming back, and I’ll never see him again. He’ll be a distant nightmare.”

  “Who are you spending Thanksgiving with?” she asks, swiftly changing the subject.

  “Alone, Dee and Nix aren’t home. John is gone, too. He went to visit family, but I refused to go with him.”

  “Stay here with me. You can spend Thanksgiving with my family.”

  “No.”

  “Why not? It’s only a day away. You might as well stay.”

  “I don’t want to eat dinner with your family.”

  “Is it because they’re black? You do understand that I’m half black, right? Do you hate me, Maverick?” Cocoa asks angrily.

  “I could never hate you. I wasn’t brought up like you. As a kid, I was forbidden to socialize with other races. It’s not easy to break away from learned behavior, it was beaten into me. When I was about nine-years-old, I befriended a new boy in class, Devin, he was black. We played every day at recess. We became good friends.”

  I take a deep, shuddering breath. These are the memories I would rather forget.

  “One day, my father came to school for a teacher/parent conference. Not knowing the racist my father is, my teacher told him about Devin and me. She even showed him pictures of us working and playing together. She thought she was doing a good
thing, showing my father what a good classmate I was being. Later that night, John forced me to kneel on rice for the whole night. The next morning, I was tied face down to my bed, naked. John held a lighter to the bottom of my feet, torturing me, nearly stripped the skin off my back with a leather belt. I cried and begged John to stop. I stayed tied to the bed for two days, with no food or water. That’s all I’m willing to say about my childhood today, don’t ask any more questions.”

  Cocoa rises from her chair, walking over to me. She sits in my lap, placing a gentle kiss on my lips.

  Maverick and I spent the rest of the day having more pleasurable conversations, getting to know each other. We took a stroll at a park, and later we stopped at a café for hot chocolate. We finished the day off with dinner at a burger place. Now, Maverick is driving to my grandmother’s house to drop me off. Maverick deviates from the route, turning down a dark street and parking at the curb. When he slides his seat back, I know what he wants. It’s something I’m willing to give him. I take off my shoes, jeans, and panties, while Maverick frees his dick. I straddle his hips, grabbing his dick to poise it at my opening. We kiss as I slowly impale myself on his length.

  I need this. Having him inside me is just as vital as the nutrients I need to survive.

  Maverick grasps my hips with bruising intensity, bouncing me up and down on his dick savagely. I bite down on his bottom lip hard, and then lick the sting, while my fingers curl in his hair.

  “Harder, faster,” I tell him.

  This boy intoxicates me.

  “Maverick,” I shout, my orgasm ripping through my body.

  He kisses me along my jaw as he spills his life into my womb.

  “I think I love you, Cocoa,” Maverick whispers in my ear.

  “I think I love you, too.”

  It’s four days until Christmas and I couldn’t be happier. Maverick and I are making progress. We finally find a delicate balance, but I know one wrong move could tip the scales. Still, I wish he would take my advice and seek professional help to overcome the traumatic experiences he suffered as a child, but every time that subject comes up, Maverick immediately shuts it down. We haven’t verbally announced that we’re in a relationship, but things have definitely changed.

  We’ve been on a few dates, and I’ve actually hung out with Dee and Nix as well. Maverick meets me at my locker each morning, so we can walk to first period together. He waits outside my world history class for me, and we walk to the cafeteria together. Sometimes, we sit at a table alone, other times I sit with him and his friends. He never eats lunch at the table with my friends and me. Maverick even comes over to my house sometimes, much to the excitement of my mother. Of course, I don’t spend time at his house, because of his father. History is repeating itself. My mom’s parents hated my father because he was black, and John hates me because I’m half black.

  Jamal, Kate, Lucy and I are at the mall doing some last-minute Christmas shopping. Mom and Michael are finally going on a well-deserved honeymoon during the two-week holiday break starting on December twenty-fourth. Of course, my mom felt guilty about leaving me alone for Christmas when she found out I wouldn’t be going to Los Angeles like I originally planned since I’ll be spending the entire summer there before going to college.

  I changed my plans because I want to spend the two-week break with Maverick. I didn’t tell my mom that. She knows I’m not a virgin, but I doubt she would want to know Maverick and I will be doing the nasty several times a day in my bed in her absence. I eased my mom’s guilt by telling her I’m not a little girl who believes in Santa Claus anymore. I assured her I’d be okay, and I understand the need for them to have some alone time.

  “I bet you can’t wait for your mom and stepdad to leave so Maverick and you can bump uglies. So, tell me how good Maverick is in bed. Does he have a big penis?” asks Jamal.

  “Jamal!” I say, laughing.

  Subtlety isn’t his middle name, that’s for sure.

  “Come on, tell me. Inquiring minds want to know.”

  “You mean your inquiring mind wants to know,” I say.

  Kate and Lucy are eagerly awaiting my response as well.

  “Yes to both questions.”

  “How does sex feel?” asks Lucy, a little embarrassed.

  “The Virgin Mary must be thinking about giving it up. Who’s the lucky guy?” asks Jamal.

  Lucy’s face turns beet red.

  Kate, Jamal, and I laugh at her. Lucy is so innocent.

  “Leave her alone,” says Kate.

  “It depends on who you have sex with, Lucy. No one’s the same. Don’t be in a rush to have sex. Take your time and choose wisely. I was in a rush to experience my first time and it was a disaster. It lasted for about two minutes tops,” I tell Lucy.

  Lucy is eating up all the information I give her. I lost my virginity when I was fifteen.

  “Okay, all of this shopping has made me hungry. Let’s head to the food court,” says Jamal.

  “I want to stop at one more store, you guys go ahead. I’ll be right behind you,” I say.

  When we part ways, I continue to my destination. I bought my mom a charm bracelet three years ago for Christmas, and every year I purchase a new charm for her. After making my selection, I leave the store. As I’m walking down the mall, I trip and fall to the floor. Before I can make a move to stand, a strong arm grips me from around my waist, hauling me up. When I turn to see who my rescuer is, we bump heads.

  “Fuck,” I say, putting a hand over my forehead, recognizing Jake.

  He releases me to pick my bags up from the floor.

  “Doing some last-minute Christmas shopping?” he asks as we start walking down the mall.

  “Thanks for helping me up.”

  “No problem.”

  “And yes, I’m getting some last-minute shopping done. And you?”

  “Yeah, I’m trying to buy the perfect gifts for my little sisters.”

  “Have they talked about wanting anything in particular? The key to buying the perfect gift for someone is listening to their conversations.”

  “Now that you mention it, they did talk about a doll with accessories.”

  “I told you.”

  “So, Maverick and you are together now?”

  Well, the subject changed fast.

  I look sideways at him. “Something like that.”

  He gives a humorless laugh. I guess news of Maverick and I is spreading to other schools, as well.

  “You could do so much better. Maverick is fucked up in the head, and he’ll fuck you up, too.”

  “What you really mean is that I could do better with you.”

  “Yes, what’s wrong with that? I never forgot about you.”

  “You didn’t respond when I reached out to you.”

  He smiles sheepishly. “Male ego. I was embarrassed I got my ass handed to me in front of you.”

  I smile. “Yeah, he did beat your ass.”

  “We should go out. No one has to know.”

  “Did you miss the part where I’m with Maverick?” We’re unofficially together, but still.

  “When he turns on you, and he will don’t say that I didn’t warn you.”

  With that, he walks down the mall, leaving me staring after him.

  On Monday morning, I wait for Cocoa beside her locker. Love wasn’t mentioned again after we fucked in my jeep, but it wasn’t just sex talk for me. It has to be love I feel for her because, when I’m with her, nothing else matters, not John or my fucked-up childhood. She has awakened my soul, making me want to be a better person.

  “Are we still your friends Mav or is Cocoa your number one priority now?” asks Nix with a knowing smile on his face.

  “Do you want me to knock your teeth down your throat?” I ask him.

  “I never thought I’d see the day Mav would be pussy whipped, that’s for sure,” says Dee.

  It’s more than pussy that I want from Cocoa.

  “Shouldn’t you two be getting to
class?”

  “Shouldn’t you?” Nix counters.

  I straighten from my locker when I see Cocoa approach.

  “My boy is alert, he’s not sleeping on his sweetheart,” jokes Dee.

  I jab Dee in the arm.

  “Ouch,” he says, rubbing his arm.

  “Both of you get lost,” I tell them, but of course, they stay put.

  When Cocoa’s close, I grab her by her blazer and slam her against the locker before devouring her lips.

  “Get a room,” says Nix, making a gagging noise.

  I suck her tongue into my mouth as I mold my body to her.

  “Keep walking, nothing to see here, people,” I hear Dee say.

  I pull back when I hear a throat clearing. I place a gentle kiss on her neck then turn around to see Mr. Green’s disapproving gaze.

  “This is a place for learning, not for this…” Mr. Green wildly swings his hand between Cocoa and me. He looks scandalized.

  “Sorry, Mr. Green. It won’t happen again,” assures Cocoa.

  I’ll make no such promises. I’m going to do whatever the fuck I want.

  “See that it doesn’t,” Mr. Green says as he walks away.

  “Later Mav and Cocoa,” says Dee.

  Dee and Nix start walking down the hall. Cocoa opens her locker, taking out what she needs. When she’s done, I throw my arm around her shoulders, and we walk to physics class.

  I’m walking back to biology class from the bathroom, looking down at my cell phone, when someone steps in front of me.

  I look up to see that Victoria blocking my path.

  “What do you want, Victoria?”

  “I’m just trying to figure out when you’ll be done with that house nigga.”

  I get right in her face and grip her arm. “Don’t you ever call her that again.”

  “You’ve called her the same thing.”

  “That was before.”

  “Before what, Maverick? People like you and I don’t change. Stop pretending to be something you’re not. You don’t have to change for me. I accept you the way you are.”

  “Get the fuck away from me, Victoria,” I tell her, walking past her.

  “She’s playing you.”

  “Give it up, Victoria. You’re starting to sound pathetic.”