Storm Clouds Rolling In

by Ginny Dye

  The day promised to be a warm one. Still, Carrie was grateful for the warmth her cloak offered as she hugged it close to her body. It would take the sun a while to burn off the mist and warm the early spring air. For a moment she considered going to the stables and claiming Granite for a ride, but decided it would take too long. She needed time alone before she had to be back for breakfast. Fragrant odors of dirt and decaying leaves assailed her nostrils as she moved gracefully down the trail beneath the canopy of new spring foliage. Wildflowers raised their heads to catch the first rays of sun. She rounded a curve and surprised a deer just moving from the woods to cross the trail. Startled, they both stared at each other. Satisfied Carrie meant no harm, the tiny doe turned and stepped carefully back into the trees without issuing a snort of alarm. Enchanted, Carrie walked slower. She didn’t want to miss a single treasure the woods had to offer. Already she felt her heart responding to the magic of the early morning.

  When the trail emptied out onto a clearing along the river, she dropped down on a lichen-covered log and gazed out into the shrouded mist. Fingers of moist air surrounded her, causing moist tendrils of her curly hair to escape the confines of its braid. She tilted her head back and watched as the last flaming clouds flicker and die as the sun slowly turned the purple dawn into a deep blue – the clouds transformed into puffy white cotton balls. Just as she felt that her heart would explode with anticipation, Carrie caught the first edge of the golden sun sneak its way onto the canvas of the morning. Mist swirled around her as it sought to escape the warming rays of the giant orb. Carrie laughed quietly – knowing she would never tire of the miracle of God’s world.

  She leaned back on the log, listening quietly as the tiny waves of the James River lapped against the shoreline, interrupted only by the occasional splash of a fish jumping in search of its breakfast. Gradually the sounds faded out, replaced by the demands and questions of her heart. The events of the last 2 days rose in her mind to crowd out the reality of the world around her. She allowed herself to be drawn in, closing her eyes to block out any distractions. It’s why she had come - why she had to get up so early to escape the house and Louisa’s acid tongue. Only when she was outside and alone could she really hear her heart.

  Staring into the placid river, Carrie relived the day before - the Tournament, and the thrill of Granite and Robert winning, the fear Robert would choose her for the Queen, and then the thrill he actually had! Carrie frowned as she examined this feeling. Never before had she been so intrigued by a man. Vividly, she recalled the pleasure of dancing with him, the ease with which they moved together, the feel of his hand on hers, the swirl of the music sending her to heights she had never experienced. Her frown deepened. The feelings bothered her. She didn’t know why. They just did.

  “You look much too serious for such a beautiful morning.”

  Carrie gasped and started at the sound of the voice behind her. She spun around but then lost her balance and began to fall off the log. As she grabbed at the slippery bark she managed to regain her balance, but knew she looked foolish. “Oh, my…” she started to say, and then lost her voice when she identified who had startled her. She was dimly aware that her blank stare made her look even more foolish.

  Robert was immediately at her side, reaching out to steady her. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to startle you.”

  Carrie could tell by the look in his eyes that he wasn’t sorry at all. Laughter was pulling at them, and the edges of his mouth were twitching. Speechless, she stared at him for a moment, and then laughed merrily.

  Robert joined in her laughter and sank down on the log next to her. “What a surprise to find you here,” he finally said.

  Carrie heard something in his voice and looked at him closely. She didn’t say anything - just looked.

  Robert squirmed under her steady gaze. “Okay, it’s not a surprise to find you here,” he finally confessed after a few uncomfortable moments. “I saw you leave the house this morning and disappear down the trail to the river.”

  Carrie continued to look at him steadily. She had no idea what to say to this revelation.

  Robert continued, “We’ve had so little time to talk since we met. And I have to leave today...” His voice drifted off. He shrugged and then smiled. “I simply wanted to spend more time with you, Miss Cromwell. I wanted to get to know you better. I’m afraid you may find me foolish. I hope you don’t mind.”

  Carrie’s eyes widened and she found her voice. “I don’t mind at all,” she said clearly, smiling warmly. “I’m glad you came.” Robert’s obvious discomfort had set her at ease. She would be herself. No more and no less. She was glad to see him. She saw no reason she shouldn’t say so. There would be people in the Blackwell household that would be appalled at their lack of decorum in meeting at the river like this, but it would be easy to claim it an accident if they were discovered. The chance of that was slim. She almost laughed at Robert’s visible relief that she wasn’t angry or put out - glad he was a little unsure of himself. It made it easier for her as she tread these unknown waters.

  Robert smiled in return. “Good. Because I still have yet to tell you how I actually won the tournament yesterday.”

  Carrie waited for him to continue. She knew Louisa would have immediately begun to pester him to tell, using her simpering ways and batting eyelashes, to manipulate him. Carrie couldn’t be bothered. She hated games and didn’t want to play them with Robert.

  Quickly, though without leaving out any details, Robert told the story of how Granite’s slight swerve after he had been spooked had netted him the winning ring. “So you see,” he concluded, “It wasn’t I who won that Tournament. It was actually Granite. I wasn’t even aware I had the ring until everyone started cheering!”

  “He’s the best horse there is,” Carrie responded fervently. “Although,” she added honestly, “I’m sure he had no idea what he was doing. I’m just glad he did it!” She decided not to tell him she had guessed the truth already.

  Robert nodded and continued. “Granite and I talked about it after the victory and knew that no one but you could be crowned the Queen of Love and Beauty.”

  Carrie looked at the handsome man seated next to her with the proud little-boy look on his face and laughed loudly again. She was suddenly completely at ease. Robert was going to be a good friend. He was fun and surprisingly easy to talk to. She wasn’t going to spend any more time trying to analyze her feelings toward him. She was just going to enjoy this new friend. She thought of what her friends would say about how a proper plantation owner’s daughter should conduct herself in the company of a possible suitor. Carelessly, she shrugged those thoughts away. She hadn’t worried up to now what people thought about her unpredictable behavior. Why start?

  She laughed again; suddenly very glad Robert had found her. “I quite enjoyed being crowned the Queen last night. Thank you.”

  Robert acknowledged her words with a nod, and then turned to her with a serious expression. “So, Miss Carrie Cromwell. I still know so very little about you. Please remedy that.”

  “I don’t know that there is much to know, Mr. Borden. You already know I’m a fanatic about my horse and that I love to dance.” Then she smiled. “You may not care to know that in spite of the privileges of my position in society...” Carrie drew the words out for emphasis. “...I have absolutely no desire to spend the rest of my days as a plantation mistress. I can think of nothing more positively boring!” She had mentioned it the night before but suddenly it was important he know how she truly felt.

  “Well, then,” Robert said as if he weren’t surprised at all by her shocking revelation, “What is it that you want to do with yourself?” He smiled as he added, “I know it’s still not really my business yet but I would love to know.”

  “I...” Carrie fell abruptly silent and looked out over the water. What was she thinking? No one but Granite knew the true desire of her heart. She hadn’t been willing to talk about it the night before. Why would she su
ddenly want to tell this almost complete stranger?

  Robert waited quietly. Carrie was not a girl to be prodded or manipulated. If she confided in him, she wanted to do it out of her own heart and in her own time. She suddenly knew he would not push her and her liking for Robert intensified. She realized now why she had almost told him. She wanted him to know. For some reason it was important that he know her for whom she truly was. Not stopping to analyze her feelings, she raised her eyes to meet his dark ones watching her steadily. “I want to be a doctor,” she said firmly.

  Robert looked into her suddenly flushed face and determined eyes. “What are you doing about it?”

  Carrie’s eyes widened in surprise. “You’re not going to tell me I’m crazy?”

  “Should I?”

  Carrie groped for words. “Most people think I should just be content to be a wealthy plantation owner’s daughter.”

  “I don’t.”

  “But, why?”

  Robert shrugged. “No one has the right to dictate another person’s dreams.”

  Carrie looked at him with open curiosity. “Where did you learn to think like that? Was it going to school in the North?”

  Robert smiled. “I’ll answer that question, but only if you answer it for yourself as well.”

  “Fair enough.”

  “I suppose going to school in the North has made me change some of my ways of looking at things. The University of Pennsylvania is a fine school. They also have a highly respected medical school.”

  “I know,” Carrie said quietly.

  Robert looked at her and continued. “Education for women is much more accepted in the North. Or maybe I should say, much more encouraged. I knew several women in the North who were excellent students.” He paused and looked at Carrie questioningly. “I assume you have had tutors?”

  “All my life.”

  “Good ones?”

  Carrie wasn’t offended by his probing questions. “The best. Mama would have been content for me to just learn how to read and write and do some figures. My father knew how much I loved learning so he kept the tutors coming. When one was no longer a challenge to me, he would bring another one.”

  “A very unusual approach.”

  Carrie nodded. “Sometimes I wonder if Father regrets it. I’m not sure he likes being caught between his rebellious daughter and his traditional wife,” she said ruefully. “It must be very difficult for him.”

  Robert laughed. “I imagine it might be.”

  Carrie leaned forward with an earnest look on her face. “Tell me about the University of Pennsylvania. About the medical school. Do they accept women there?”

  Robert shook his head. “I have no idea.” He looked at her thoughtfully. “You realize how difficult what you’re proposing would be? There are very few women in medicine.”

  “Yes.” Carrie’s voice was steady, but then she hesitated. “I actually have no idea how to go about trying to achieve it. It’s a dream - perhaps a hopeless one.”

  “You have yet to tell me where this dream came from.”

  Carrie smiled. “It’s the only thing about plantation life I have any interest in. I’ve been helping Mama in the Quarters ever since I was very little. Finding someone very sick... and then discovering a way to make them feel better... There is nothing more exciting than that!” She paused. “But our methods are so simple. My father receives two medical journals. I read them from cover to cover every month. The things they talk about! The advances made in surgery! The new discoveries being made!” Her words flew from her mouth now as she grew more excited. “I want to be a part of all that. I want to help people!” She suddenly stopped. “I just don’t know how to go about doing it,” she admitted softly.

  “Why don’t you go visit the University of Pennsylvania Medical College? Surely they would be able to give you information. The very least you could do is write them.”

  Carrie laughed. The idea of going to Pennsylvania was very appealing but she had no idea how she would talk her parents into it. What reason could she give that would not throw her mother into hysteria over her unconventional daughter?

  Robert’s voice grew serious. “No one but you can make your dreams come true, Carrie. If you want them badly enough you’ll find a way to make them come true. But you have to want them badly enough.”

  Carrie’s laughter died as she absorbed his words. “You’re right,” she said slowly. “Until today they were little more than a fantasy in my head. But saying the words... Actually telling someone… It’s made my fantasy seem more real. It’s been something I’ve wanted all my life but I suppose I never truly thought it could actually happen.” She stopped, lost in thought. Suddenly she looked up with a brilliant smile. “Thank you, Mr. Borden. You listened to me. You didn’t laugh. I’ll never forget that.”

  Robert just nodded. “Dreams are not to be laughed at.”

  Carrie leaned forward now. “Enough about me. What about you? What are your dreams?”

  Robert settled back onto the log and swung his gaze to the river. “I love the South. The North is exciting and different. The cities are intoxicating. But nothing draws me like my home. The beauty of the fields. Watching things come to life under warm sunshine. But it’s the river... The river pulls me. I seem to find myself in it.” He turned to look at Carrie. “I wasn’t surprised when you took the trail to the river this morning. Somehow I knew you were that way, too.”

  Carrie looked at him with full understanding.

  Robert smiled and continued. “I want to expand Oak Meadows - my plantation. My brother wants to leave, I think. Abe wants to live in one of the bigger cities - probably Richmond - and build a business there. My mother and I want to stay. I want to see the plantation grow. I want to make all the improvements that have had to wait for so many years. I want to see the plantation thrive again the way it did when my Daddy was alive. Now that I’m done with school I can make it happen.”

  “What happened to your father?” Carrie asked.

  “He died.”

  Carrie was taken aback by the sudden flash of fury that tightened his face. She would ask no more. It was apparent he didn’t want to talk about it. “I’m sorry.”

  Robert lapsed into silence, staring out over the water. Long minutes passed. Carrie wasn’t uncomfortable with the silence. She didn’t believe there always had to be words. Quietly she waited until most of the tension drained from his face.

  “What did you think of our elderly neighbor last night?” she finally asked.

  “Ruffin?”

  Carrie nodded.

  “He hardly came across as being elderly,” Robert said, smiling.

  “He’s sixty-seven.”

  Robert looked at Carrie in amazement. “I hope I have that much energy when I get that old. He obviously felt strongly about the things he said.”

  “Our Mr. Ruffin can only feel strongly.”

  “A rather admirable quality, actually. One you seem to share with him.”

  Carrie laughed. “I guess you’re right.” Then she grew serious again. “The things he says scare me. He would push the whole South into secession if he could. I’m sure he intends to die trying...” Her troubled voice trailed off.

  Robert leaned forward to look in her eyes. “Seeing the Union remain is the most important thing to me. I agree with your father that staying together is our greatest strength. I think ways can be found to deal with all the country is struggling with.” He paused. “But I agree with Ruffin on one thing. If there is war - if the North comes down here to force their beliefs on us - I won’t stand idly by. It will be my land that is being threatened. My home. And my way of life. If they come, I will fight.”

  Carrie’s heart grew heavy as she imagined Robert going to war.

  Robert’s voice was strong and confident as he continued. “I pray it doesn’t come, but if it does the South will be victorious. It will be a short struggle; the North has not a chance against us. We will fight and then we will build our c
ountry the way it needs to be built- on each man’s right to decide his own destiny!”

  Carrie said nothing but her mind raced with one thought. Why then has the South taken away a whole race’s right to decide their own destiny? What about the black man? Her thoughts remained just that - thoughts. She knew she felt them strongly but they were still too new to understand, or deal with, or even know if she agreed with.

  Carrie shook her head and forced herself to smile. “This is black talk for such a beautiful morning.”

  “You’re right.” Robert, too, shook his head slightly – as if to rid himself of his intense thoughts. He then turned to look deep into her emerald eyes. “I’d like to see you again, Miss Cromwell.”

  Protocol demanded she be coy. Carrie looked directly into his eyes. “I would like that, Mr. Borden.”

  Robert smiled broadly. “I’ll be coming back through here on my way back from Charleston. May I stop by? I’d like to see you on Granite. How about a tour of your plantation when I’m next here?”

  “I would love that. And I would much rather you call me Carrie. If you don’t mind,” she added.

  Robert shook his head. “I didn’t want to make assumptions, Carrie.”

  “You’re my friend.”

  “Thank you. And please call me Robert.” He looked like he wanted to say more, but turned to gaze at the river.

  Carrie’s own thoughts were spinning. She liked Robert more than any man she had ever met. She knew her mother was hoping she would find a wealthy plantation owner to marry and settle down with. Robert Borden would be the perfect answer. Yet, everything within her was rebelling. Not yet. There was still too much she wanted to do. She didn’t want to get married. Robert himself had encouraged her to follow her dreams. She didn’t know how, but she was going to find out. She was going to do more with her life. Somehow... In the meantime there was no reason she couldn’t enjoy a friendship with Robert as she explored the new feelings springing up within her.