The Renegade

by Rhonda Nelson

  “Nah,” she said. “Let’s go get something to eat.”

  Ten minutes later, Tanner chased a bite of the wickedly hot barbecue with a drink of iced tea and tried to pretend like his mouth wasn’t on fire.

  Mia wasn’t buying it. “Fool,” she said, sending him a glare. “I told you not to get the flaming hot sauce. I don’t know what you thought you had to prove.” She said it with indulgent affection, the kind brought about by familiarity and intimacy. Something moved around in his chest when he looked at her, something beautiful and terrifying.

  “Who said I was trying to prove anything?” Tanner wheezed, wondering if his insides were getting charred as much as his mouth. He seriously couldn’t feel his lips anymore. Bad sign. “I happen to like spicy food.”

  She rolled her eyes. “Can you even taste it?”

  He tried to smile, but wasn’t sure he succeeded. “I tasted the first bite.”

  She just shook her head. “Idiot.”

  “Fool, idiot,” he repeated, placing a hand over his heart. “I love these little pet names you have for me. They make me feel special. Cherished and respected, even.”

  Her lips twitched. “Beats the hell out of Bossy,” she said. “I am not bossy. I just like telling people what to do.”

  He laughed. “I hate to break it to you, sweetheart, but the two kind of go hand in hand.” He tossed her one of the disposable phones. “You should probably check in with Sophie. See how things are in Dallas.”

  She swallowed, poked her fork into her baked beans but didn’t readily take a bite. “Will we get there tonight?”

  “We can,” he said haltingly. “But we’d be pushing it. I thought we’d stop in Texarkana, then finish the drive in the morning. We’d get in around noon. Is that okay with you?”

  Tanner waited for her answer and tried to pretend like it didn’t matter. Truth be told, he’d originally planned to push on through, to finish the drive tonight. He could have deposited her and Moe in Dallas, then caught a red-eye back to Atlanta. He would have successfully completed his first mission for Ranger Security.

  But, selfishly, he wanted one more night with her. He wanted to spend the evening tasting every inch of her body, listening to those sweet, sexy sounds she made when he pushed into her, or suckled her breasts. He wanted to take her hard and fast against the wall, then stretch her out on the bed and make love to her until he couldn’t move or breathe or think or, God help him, dream. He wanted one perfect, unspoiled night with her. She was his light in the darkness. She made him feel lighter, better, less damaged and more in control. She was his hope, Tanner realized, and he wasn’t ready to give her up. Not yet.

  He knew it wasn’t fair to drag her into his life right now, to taint her with his gloom, but he was too selfish not to. He would have to let her go, of course, because it was the right thing to do. Their time had passed. He’d blown it then and couldn’t ask for a do over now, not when he was emotionally condemned, practically disinherited from his family. He was a wreck, the pieces still scattered around his feet.

  She could put him to rights, Tanner knew, but it wouldn’t be fair to ask her. After the way he’d treated her, after he’d broken her heart and left her alone to put it back together, how could he? What right did he have? Admittedly, he knew he was a selfish bastard, but even selfish bastards could be noble. When the time came, he would dredge his soul for that character trait and do what must be done.

  He wouldn’t hurt her again. He’d let her blame it all on Moe, and he’d walk away before her life became as unrecognizable as his own.

  Right girl, wrong time.

  Again.

  “Noon should be fine,” she said. “And you’ll return immediately to Atlanta, right?”

  He nodded. “Yes. I’m going to check in there, do some unpacking. All of my stuff is currently stacked in the spare bedroom. The apartment’s nice—beats the hell out of the barracks, that’s for damned sure,” he said, rubbing a hand over the back of his neck. “But it won’t feel like home until I’ve put some of my Daniel Moores in place.” The prints by the legendary painter were of some of his favorites, Crimson Legacy and The Tradition Continues, in particular. Famous for capturing great moments in sports history, Moore was highly talented and even more collectible.

  Mia looked up and smiled. “Roll Tide roll. I’ve been to a few games,” she said. “But I haven’t been back as much as I’d like. I made homecoming last year.”

  “I haven’t been back at all.” He arched a brow. “Sad, isn’t it?”

  “It’s not too far a drive from Atlanta to Tuscaloosa,” she pointed out.

  “It’s not too far from Savannah to Atlanta, either,” he said. “Maybe you could come over and go to a game with me.”

  His cell rang phone before she could answer and he mentally swore. He checked the caller ID and looked up at Mia. “This is my sister,” he said, frowning. “I’d better take it.”

  She nodded. “Of course.”

  Because he didn’t want to leave her or Moe alone, Tanner simply sat there and made the decision to try and be as vague as possible while talking to Roxanne. “Hey, Roxy.”

  “Our father is a miserable bastard,” she said, greeting him.

  Tanner chuckled softly, watched a little gathering of birds peck at the crumbs beneath the picnic table.

  “You’ll get no argument from me there.”

  “Mom’s left him.”

  Shock detonated through him. “What?”

  “She packed her bags and moved in with Aunt Margaret. I told her that she was welcome to come here, but she said she didn’t want to be in the way. She’s al ready bought a lot in Margaret’s retirement community and picked out a house plan. They break ground next week.”

  Tanner didn’t know what to say. “I—”

  “Shocked, aren’t you? She’s worried about what you’ll think and she doesn’t want you to feel responsible. But evidently Dad’s treatment of you for leaving the service was the final nail in the moldy coffin. She said she’d lost all respect for him and that you couldn’t love someone you couldn’t respect. She told me to tell you not to worry anymore about neutral ground. She’ll soon have her own ground for you to visit on and that our father can kiss her ass.”

  He felt his eyes bug. He’d never heard his mother say anything harsher than “dang.” “Mom cussed?” he breathed.

  Roxy laughed delightedly. He could hear his nephew, Eli, babbling in the background, some sort of children’s show entertaining him. “She did. She’s been cussing a lot, actually.” She paused. “I don’t know about you, but I’m damned proud of her.”

  “I am, too, Roxy. Shocked, but pleased for her if it’s what she wants.”

  “She said it’s been a long time coming.”

  He could certainly believe that. His father had never treated her with the respect she deserved. Hell, the man never treated anyone who had the misfortune of orbiting through his life with the respect they deserved.

  “Wow,” he said, for lack of anything better.

  “I know. So when can we expect you? Any chance you can make it this weekend? Gramps is hurt, you know. He said you ought to know better than to assume that he’s going to be anything other than proud of you.”

  Tanner swallowed, momentarily unable to speak. “Not this weekend,” he said, his gaze sliding over to Mia who was pretending not to listen and failing miserably. The sun glinted off her mink locks, painting copper highlights on her crown. “But soon, okay. Tell Mom and Gramps it won’t be long. And give Eli a hug for me.”

  “He loves the football you sent him,” Roxy said. “But you know you’re going to have to teach him how to play with it. I love Mark dearly, but he doesn’t have an athletic bone in his body.”

  Tanner chuckled. “Give the man a little bit of credit. He can throw a football.”

  “He can’t throw one like you can,” she said fondly. “Eli misses you.”

  Tanner laughed, even as he could feel himself succumbing to
the guilt trip. “He’s eighteen months old and doesn’t even know me.”

  “My point exactly. Come home, Tanner. We miss you.” Guilt Central.

  Tanner smiled and passed a hand over his face. “I will, sis. Soon, I promise.”

  “Good. Now call Mom and let her know that you’re proud of her. She needs to hear it from you, not from me. Gramps, too.”

  “I will.”

  “Will you do it now, so I won’t have to call you and nag?” she needled shamelessly.

  He laughed. “Yes.”

  “Love you, big brother.”

  “Love you, too, sis.”

  He ended the call and sat there for a moment, trying to absorb a world where his parents were separated.

  “Something wrong?” Mia asked.

  “No,” he said. “My mother has left my father.”

  She blinked. “And that’s not wrong?”

  His lips formed a humorless smile. “You met my father. What do you think?”

  She chewed the inside of her cheek and nodded. “Good for your mom. Anything particular prompt her decision?”

  Tanner winced and looked away. “You’re getting less shy with your questions.”

  “Sorry,” she said. “I meant to pry, but was hoping you’d answer without noticing.”

  Tanner felt a smile drift over his lips. “I never answer anything without noticing.”

  She grimaced adorably. “So I noticed.”

  Tanner hesitated, wondered how much he could say without breaking out into a cold sweat. He cleared his throat. “Let’s just say that my dad was not happy with my decision to leave the military.”

  She rolled her eyes and her lips formed a small smile. “Believe it or not, having met your father, I’d actually worked that one out for myself.”

  Of course she had, Tanner thought. Mia didn’t miss a trick. “Yes, well, he’s been quite vocal with his displeasure and has essentially disowned me for my ‘cowardice and weakness.’ In his words, I’ve disgraced him.”

  Her gaze hardened and he watched her jaw move back and forth, as though she were grinding her teeth. “So am I correct in guessing that your mother pulled the sanctimonious stick out of his ass and beat him with it?”

  Tanner chuckled, startled at her description. “In a manner of speaking, yes. She’s left him. In fact, she’s already bought a lot and is building a house in my aunt Margaret’s retirement community.” She would probably learn to play bridge and join the Garden Club. And she would bloom, Tanner knew.

  “Good for her,” Mia said, nodding once. Her gaze found his and she leaned forward. “Look, Tanner, I don’t know what happened that made you want to leave the military, but I know you,” she said, taking his hand. “And you have more integrity in your little finger than your father does in his whole body. There is nothing—nothing—cowardly about you. You are not weak and you’re not a disgrace. I don’t have to know the particulars to know that.” She squeezed his hand. “You’re a good man, Tanner. You always have been.”

  Tanner swallowed hard. “How can you, of all people, say that? I treated you abominably.”

  She merely stared at him, seeming to be measuring her response, weighing the edited version against the unabridged. “You broke my heart,” she said levelly, clearly opting for the latter. “I won’t deny it. I was head over heels in love with you and would have followed you to the ends of the earth and back again.” She paused. “But you stayed true to your path, true to your own vision of how you wanted your life to be. How could I fault you for that?” She smiled sadly. “I was the one who was willing to compromise. How could I crucify you for not willing to be? You stayed you. I was the one who changed and that was nobody’s fault but my own.”

  A weak smile slid over his lips. “I never deserved you.”

  She grinned. “I know.” She jerked her head toward his phone. “Don’t you need to call your mother?”

  He shook his head. “Bossy,” he muttered.

  “You secretly like it.”

  “Then it’s a secret to me.”

  She tossed a potato chip at him, hitting him in the chin. “Asshole.”

  He sighed again. “Another charming endearment.”

  She leaned forward and pressed a lingering kiss against his lips. “It’s good seeing you again,” she said.

  “Believe it or not, I’ve missed you.”

  He did believe it, which was going to make it harder than ever to leave.

  In fact, it was going to be damned near impossible.

  PUTTING THE TRACKING DEVICE on a semi bound for Omaha had been a crafty thing for Mia’s travel companion to do, and the man applauded the ingenuity, no matter how much of an inconvenience it had caused him. He’d wasted a lot of time and a lot of gas, but ultimately he would prevail. He knew the name of the man Mia travelled with, knew that he’d just left the military.

  More importantly, he knew why he’d left the military.

  Weaknesses, when dealing with adversaries, was key and he’d learned Tanner Crawford’s.

  The only possible reason Mia could be traveling with a security agent was if she—or they—were carrying something he needed to protect. And considering the backpack never left the security agent’s body, the man grimly suspected what was in it. Anticipation spiked. He slid a finger over the barrel of his gun and laughed low.

  And the minute they arrived in Dallas, it would be his…no matter who tried to get in his way.

  DAMN HIS FATHER, Mia thought. Miserable, awful old bastard. She’d suspected as much—that he’d not responded kindly to Tanner’s leaving the military—but hearing Tanner repeat his father’s words in that tone less voice had been gut-wrenchingly horrible.

  Though she had a general idea of what had happened to make Tanner want to leave the service—and only then, due to those horrible nightmares—she knew him well enough to know that it had to have been beyond terrible to make him abandon the career he’d worked so hard for. It had to have been unendurable, otherwise he would have done just that.

  Endured.

  Though this trip going off without a hitch was important to her job, Mia knew that it was ultimately more important for Tanner. He was trying to rebuild a life, one that had been blown apart by war and exacerbated by a father who didn’t appreciate him.

  She was beginning to think fathers, on the whole, were overrated.

  Though she could tell that he hadn’t wanted to mention it to her, Tanner had shown her the information Ranger Security had dug up on her father.

  It was depressing as hell.

  He was even worse than she remembered, and his being in D.C. as early as a couple of weeks ago gave her pause. After a few moments of agonizing angst, Mia had finally drummed up the courage to call Harlan and ask him about what her father had specifically said when he’d called. He’d claimed to have gotten the number from someone at the Center, which Mia knew to be completely untrue. There was no way in hell anyone at the Center would have given out her phone number, even if it had been a person claiming to be her father. Either he’d become more crafty through his time spent in jail, or he had better connections. Or both.

  Harlan said he’d seemed more interested in knowing what Mia was doing than actually seeing her. Her former boyfriend hadn’t told her because he hadn’t wanted to hurt her feelings. He’d put her father off, because that’s what she’d asked him to do. When asked if Charlie had called in the past few days, Harlan said he didn’t think so. If he had, then Harlan hadn’t talked to him.

  Much as she wanted to believe otherwise, she was beginning to suspect her father had something to do with the attempted thefts. According to Tanner, Charlie had been in New Orleans jail until three months ago. New Orleans was Ramirez’s stomping ground. Furthermore, her father had always been a charming fellow—she’d looked at the pictures of women who’d visited him in jail, but hadn’t recognized any of them—and he’d always been much more able to get information out of people than Freddie Ackerman, she would imagine.r />
  But that still didn’t explain why Freddie had been the one to follow them.

  Her head aching from all the possibilities, Mia tossed her purse onto the bed then toed her shoes off and flexed her feet. They were swollen from spending so much time in the car. Though she’d wanted to have another night with Tanner, she had to admit she would have wanted to stop for the night anyway, rather than push on. She was tired and wearied of being in the car.

  Per Tanner’s instruction, she’d checked in with Sophie, who had assured her that everything there was running smoothly. “No hiccups,” she said, to which Mia had been eternally thankful. Since getting the new rental car and putting all of Tanner’s safety measures in place, they’d continued on without incident. They would arrive in Dallas tomorrow, Moe in hand, and she could give him over and breathe a deep sigh of relief that they’d all made the journey safely.

  She refused to consider what would happen afterward. It was too damned depressing.

  But sadly, inevitable.

  “Something wrong?” Tanner asked, glancing up to see her frown.

  Mia glanced around the room, noting the same pictures, the same drapes, the same linens as the last motel and shot Tanner a smile. “Do you have some form of OCD or are you just really brand loyal?”

  He smiled. “What are you talking about?”

  “Same motel chain, same location on the floor and in some cases, the same room number. Are you building points for a vacation? Trying to get some perks? What?”

  Tanner chuckled and shook his head. “It’s a safety measure,” he said. “Bottom floor, nearest the exit. This hotel offered the best layout for monitoring or making a quick escape if need be.” His eyes twinkled. “I would have expected you to work that one out on your own. You’re usually much quicker.”

  She couldn’t argue with that. She’d completely missed the significance.

  “You’re off your game, Bossy. Something wrong?” he asked.

  “Just tired,” she said, which wasn’t strictly a lie. As for her game, she wasn’t just off it—she’d lost it completely.