Here With Me

by Alla Kar

  “He threatened you.”

  “I’m safe for now. Were you there when he came? Or Jaden?”

  I narrow my gaze. “Why would Jaden be at the house, Mom?”

  She lifts her shoulder slightly, and she looks so skinny she may break. “Just asking. You know, it’s okay to like her, Cade.”

  What? I furrow my brow and wipe my palm down my face. “Mom, please don’t start this again. She’s my best friend’s little sister. It’s guy code. I can’t be with her, even if I wanted to.”

  “Are you saying you’re interested?”

  I open my mouth and shut it quick. Am I interested? I’ve been hot and cold with the way I feel about her.

  “I have to go, Mom.”

  She huffs and lies back against the headboard again. “You’re so damn hard-headed. If you could have seen the look on her face, Cade.”

  Look? I wipe my palms against my jeans. “What are you talking about?”

  She bites back a laugh and picks at a random thread on the wooly comforter. “When I asked if you two were in a relationship, you hurt her when you acted the way you did.” She suddenly looks up at me. “She’d be crazy not to like you, Cade.” She leans up and pats my knee. “Whether or not Adam wants you to date, Jaden wouldn’t think twice.”

  I try to speak, but my tongue sticks to the top of my mouth. She’s not right, is she? I don’t doubt Jaden may like the way I look, but she couldn’t really like me, could she? I’m not right for her any more than Will is right for her. But I don’t deny wanting to taste her. That innocence attracts me like a moth to flame.

  Mom is grinning ear-to-ear when I look over at her. I roll my eyes and stand. “Okay, Mom. Whatever you say.” I kiss the top of her head, stop at the doorway, and glance back. “Thanks for staying, Mom.”

  And I know by the way she smiles she’s going to get better this time. I feel it.

  ***

  Jaden runs down the stairs two minutes after I blow the horn. My fingers lace around the steering wheel as she turns the first corner. The small shorts she’s wearing look like cheerleading shorts. The black fabric curves nicely to her ass and legs.

  She walks slowly toward the truck. She doesn’t really look that young, does she? Her eyes stay locked on the ground when she walks. I can’t imagine how much better she’d look if she had confidence in herself. But it isn’t just shyness; there is some other reason. The way she looks shaky around a lot of people. Or the way she uses her hair to hide her face.

  When the door squeaks open, I snap my gaze toward the front and start the truck. “Is your mom okay?”

  “How did you know I went to see my mom?”

  She starts fiddling with the hem of her T-shirt. “I heard you talking to her last night.”

  I lift a brow. “You heard or you were eavesdropping?”

  She gives me a small smile and a sideways glance. “Heard, thank you. Now keep your eyes on the road, you’re making me nervous.”

  I chuckle before I can help it. “You sure I’m not making you nervous because you like that I’m staring at you?”

  A little sound escapes her throat before she reaches over and turns the radio up. “Drive.”

  The house looks worse in the sunlight. Jaden helps me carry the cleaning products up the half-fallen stairs and into the living room. The house is cool, and I’m glad I thought to turn the air conditioner on before I left, or it’d smell like shit in here.

  Jade drops the bag of supplies in front of her and places her hands on her hips. “Where should we start?”

  “Good question.” I close my eyes and randomly point. “How about in the kitchen?”

  Jaden smiles. “Sounds good.”

  After we get the broken glass and dirt swept up, I clean off the cabinets while Jaden starts scrubbing the spray paint off the wall. Every time I see the writing it makes my blood boil.

  Jaden clears her throat as I take my place beside her. “You know, this house would be really pretty with some paint. Maybe a yellow or something in here?”

  “Really?” I ask, taking a few minutes to imagine it. “Yellow would work. Are you suggesting we paint it?”

  Red covers her cheeks, and she gives me a one-armed shrug. “I could help—if you wanted some help.”

  Oh, I do. “Help is always nice.”

  She nods. “Okay, then. We’ll paint it.”

  She wipes the sweat from her brow and starts scrubbing harder. It’s coming slowly but surely. “Where does your brother think you are right now?”

  She huffs. “He thinks I’m at the library.”

  “You’re hiding me?”

  She turns and gives me a shut the hell up look. “That would mean I tell him about your mom which I promised I wouldn’t do. And even though we’re just cleaning he’ll jump to conclusions and think we’re in here getting it on or something.” Her eyes widen and the blush darkens.

  “Getting it on?” I ask.

  She presses her lips into a hard line. “You know what I mean. Don’t be a jackass.”

  “Jackass is my middle name.”

  I watch her from the corner of my eye as we scrub the wall. Her hair falls around her face from her loose ponytail. Her back arches, showing me the full curve of her ass, as she presses hard with each swipe of her arm.

  “No it’s not,” she says. And the way it whispers from her lips makes my dick ache.

  “You don’t know me.”

  Jade stops mid-scrub. Those big green eyes are wide and curious. She tugs on her bottom lip as we stare each other down. “A jackass wouldn’t take care of his mom the way you do.”

  Goddamn it. “Oh?” I ask. She watches me—her gaze suddenly heavy—but doesn’t move when I take a step closer. “You think because I help my mom, that makes me a good guy?” I laugh harshly, but she doesn’t flinch. She searches my face. I can only imagine the horror she’s looking at. The fucked-up boy with the tattoos and bad family. But for some reason it doesn’t feel like she’s judging me. “I’m fucked up.”

  She gives me a quick nod. “So am I. But that doesn’t make me a bad person.” Then she turns back to the wall, leaving me standing stupidly close to her. “Just because you’ve had a bad childhood doesn’t put you in the category of grease monkey or whatever else you think you are right now.” She turns to me and points her finger at my chest. “I don’t think you’re a bad guy at all. I think you’re good.”

  And that’s all she fucking wrote. I can’t take how close she is or the way she smells. She thinks I’m good and I feel like letting her see how good I can be. I feel like trying for her. Before I lose my nerve, I snake my fingers around the back of her neck. Those green eyes widen as I stroke the pad of my thumb against the corner of her pouty mouth. “You think I’m good, Jaden?”

  A quiet sigh escapes her, sending her minty breath against my lips. I want—need—to kiss her. Now. “Because you’re wrong. A good person wouldn’t want to do the things I want to do to their best friend’s little sister.”

  She lets out another shaky breath and reaches up to grab one of my wrists. My heart jackhammers because I think she’s going to move it, but she doesn’t. She grips my hand hard. “Would a good person kiss me right now?” Her breath is frustrated. Her thin brows pull down in the middle as she watches my lips.

  “No.”

  Her hooded gaze drifts up, and she licks her lips. “Well then we’re both fucked up and bad people. Because I want your mouth on mine.”

  Christ. I curl my fingers around her neck and close the gap between us, pressing my lips against the softness of hers. The whimper that’d been riding on her tongue escapes into my mouth, and I plunge my tongue in to smother it.

  Her hand tightens on my wrists and the other clutches my T-shirt. I lap at the sweetness of her mouth and move my tongue in a slow steady rhythm until she’s shaking against me. I have no idea what Jaden’s done before, but I love the way her lips move—submissively hungry and determined.

  Fuck it.

  I
run my hands down her arm to her hip, and I don’t stop until I feel the smooth curve of her ass in my palm. She whimpers again, this time gently biting my bottom lip. All the doom from this is irrelevant because I can’t make myself stop. There isn’t enough manpower in the world.

  Her soft moans are masked by the groans I can’t keep in. I grab her ass and wrap her legs around my waist. Her tiny body fits around mine perfectly. I kiss a path down her jaw, and she lets her head fall backwards, exposing her neck. I nip and suck at her skin until we’re in my childhood room.

  ***

  I carefully lower us on the bed, until I’m lying between her spread legs. I grind my cock against her, and she grips my shirt and breathes against me. “Don’t think about it,” she whispers, pressing her eyes closed. “Don’t think about it, just kiss me. Just touch me. Don’t think about Adam or anyone.”

  I smile and wipe my thumb across her bottom lip. “Sweetheart, Adam is the last fucking thing on my mind right now. Now give me your mouth.”

  She obeys, parting her lips as soon as I run my tongue against her. Her hips grind upward against me at a steady rhythm that matches our pace. There isn’t one thing in this world I want more right now than to pull those goddamn jeans off and fuck her raw.

  Her small fingers reach for the hem of my shirt, and she tugs it over my head. I toss the tank to the floor, and when I look back down at her, she’s staring at me. The soft featherlike touch of her fingers set a fire inside of me. So innocent. So perfect.

  “Baby,” I whisper, and she tightens her legs around me. Goddamn she’s got to stop doing that. “You told me you weren’t a virgin. That true?”

  She nods once, but her eyes dart away.

  I push the stray hair sticking to her face behind her ear and carefully watch her. “How many times, Jaden? How many other men have had you like this?”

  She squirms underneath me, her small chest rising and falling quickly. She doesn’t want to answer. It may be way more than I want to hear, but it wouldn’t matter. I stopped counting mine.

  “One,” she whispers.

  “One guy?”

  She swallows hard. “One time.”

  She’s only had sex once? Who the fuck could have her just once? Carefully, I sit up. A worried look crosses her face and she leans on her elbows. I try to think what to say. I can’t take her. I don’t know if I have the self-control to do this to her. I’m not a gentle lover. And she’s only had one guy a long time ago. It’s going to feel like she’s a virgin.

  I imagine slipping inside of her—tight and wet. I run my fingers down my face and remove them when I see her head for the door. Fuck.

  “Jaden,” I yell, tripping over a pair of old Nike shoes. She’s trying to straighten out her clothes in the hallway when I catch her. Tears stream down her cheeks. Her tiny nose is Rudolph red. “What’s wrong?”

  She grinds her teeth and grabs a handful of her hair. “You don’t want me! I basically throw myself at you and you stop. What’s wrong with me?” She sniffs and wipes at the makeup smudges underneath her eyes. “Just take me home. You’ve made it perfectly freaking clear.” She’s shaking while trying to keep eye contact.

  I take in her face—those sad, beautiful eyes—and her small, shivering body. I take another step and trap her against the wall. “We’ve had this conversation, Jaden. I want you. I want you so bad that I don’t know what I would do to you.”

  She swallows. “Then why won’t you try?”

  “Because I don’t want to hurt you. I’m not the kind of guy that’ll go in there and give you a two-minute ride. I need to feel you—hard.” I push off the wall and grip my hair. “That sounds so fucking stupid.”

  “You’re scared you’ll physically hurt me? What is this, Fifty Shades?” She throws her hands up and slaps them back against her thighs. “Do I need to sign a contract, too?”

  I growl and grip her neck. “This is serious. You’re gentle. I’m not. And I like things a little differently. Rough.” She watches as I nip her bottom lip and take her hip in my hand. “You’re a gentle fucking flower, and I’m a bulldozer that wants to rip you to shreds. You think you could handle it? Handle me?”

  She bites her lower lip and takes a step away from me, swiping her shirt from the floor. “I don’t know if I can, Cade. How does anyone inexperienced get away from that if no one will give her the chance?”

  I open my mouth and snap it shut. When my phone rings, she points to it. “You better get that. I’ll be outside.”

  “Fuck.”

  ***

  Jaden hops out of the truck before I kill the engine. She wouldn’t even look at me on the way home.

  “Jaden!” I yell but she’s already at the stairs, taking two at a time. “Goddammit, Jaden,” I mumble to myself. I lock the car and race up the stairs. The door is wide open. I slam it behind me but stop when I run into Jade’s back.

  She’s standing in the middle of the dining room, looking out over the living room at a group of guys. By the looks of it, the frat douchebags are here. Will stands up and gives me a dirty go-to-hell look. “Could you have slammed the door a little harder?”

  I clear my throat and cock my head to the side. “I don’t know. You want me to try again?”

  Will grinds his teeth and pulls at the ironed sleeves of his shirt. But by the way Jaden is still standing and staring, I get the feeling something is wrong. I gently trace my fingertip against the back of her arm, and she’s shivering. Will raises an eyebrow. “Do you need something, Cade? I left you a note. By the way it was crumpled in the trash, I’m sure you got it.”

  “Jaden?”

  My gaze follows Jaden’s to one of the guys in the living room. He looks a lot like Will. Ironed, three-hundred-dollar clothing with shoes that would pay someone’s rent. He runs his hands through his brown hair and strides toward her like he owns the fucking town.

  When he reaches for her, she pushes him away. A look of outrage crosses his face. Then he slides his hands into the pockets of his slacks and leans back with a cocky grin. “What’s wrong, Jade? You sick?” He laughs. Laughs at her. What a douchebag.

  She’s pale. White as a fucking ghost. Tears begin to build in her eyes and her bottom lip trembles. I don’t like the look on this jackass’s face, so I push him. Half of the room jumps up, and Will starts yelling. “What in the hell?”

  Jackass points at Jade just as the front door swings open. Adam is carrying his backpack and an armful of pizzas. “Can I get some help?” Adam yells and puts the pizzas down on the table.

  He looks around. “What in the hell is going on—wait a fucking minute.” He flies toward the jackass before I know what’s happening.

  Will pushes Adam into me. I pull his arms behind his back.

  “I’ll fucking kill you! Get out of my goddamn house. You stupid motherfucker!”

  Jaden tears from the room, and I hear her door slam shut. Will tosses his hands in the air. “What in the hell is going on?”

  “Get him out,” Adam yells again. “In fact, all you motherfuckers get the hell out. Now!” Everyone files out, including Jackass who Adam tries—almost successfully, he’s stronger than he looks—to kick on his way out.

  Adam pries himself from my grip and rushes toward Jaden’s room. I glance at Will. “Don’t look at me. I have no idea what the fuck is going on.”

  Will rolls his eyes and follows the rest of the douchebags out the door.

  Chapter Fourteen

  Jaden

  Justin just stood there, like nothing had happened. He tried to hug me. Touch me. Vomit threatens my throat, and I push it back down. I never wanted to see him again.

  Adam locks the door behind him and comes straight to my side, like he did when we were little, and pulls me to his chest. “He’s gone, Jade. I’m so sorry he was here. I can’t…he won’t be back.”

  I relax into his grip. “I thought I’d never see him again. I don’t want to.”

  Adam kisses the top of my head. “You won’t, J
ade. You won’t.” He rocks me against him for a few seconds. “You’re okay, right?”

  I stop the sob riding on my lips and pull back. “Yeah.”

  “You’ve been gone a lot lately. Are you…” He trails off.

  “Sane?” I ask, trying desperately to keep the bitterness out of my voice. He’s just asking, but I hate it. I hate that anyone has to ask if I’ve gone crazy again. “I’m fine, Adam.”

  He groans. “I have to keep an eye on you.”

  “Because Dad checks in on me, right?”

  ”Dad’s not the only one that worries about you,” he whispers. After a few minutes of me ignoring him go by, he walks to the door. When he turns around, he looks tired and beaten. I know I shouldn’t be so hard on him, but I have enough to worry about without him giving me the third degree. “I love you, Jade. You know that, right?”

  I push my hair from my wet cheeks. “I know.”

  He leaves, and I don’t stop him. I want to be alone. This can’t be happening again. I’m supposed to be free of these people. They both had scholarships to other schools. Why the hell are they still here?

  My cell goes off so I toss it to my nightstand and grab my medication.

  I change into some yoga pants and a tank top. As soon as I turn the lights down, I hear a soft rap of knuckles against my door.

  The light from the kitchen filters in, and Cade’s silhouette fills the doorway. My body reacts almost immediately. Just the thought of earlier sends a throbbing ache between my legs. “Can I come in?” His dark brow is heavy over his light eyes.

  I open the door wide and let him slip in before Adam sees.

  Cade takes a spot on my bed, his eyes glued to the prescription pill bottle sitting openly on my nightstand. I almost reach over and hide it but I just really don’t care at the moment. His eyes dart back to me, and he pats the mattress. “Come sit with me.”

  My nerves are all over the place. Just sitting by him, being close to his warmth, makes me jittery.

  “Are you okay?” he asks. I nod, making a little too much of an effort, and he frowns. “You can talk to me. I mean, if you want to.” He scratches the back of his neck and ruffles his dark brown hair.